Wednesday, October 28, 2009

WNBP: Remote Blogging

Greetings all! Sheepie blogs to you from her classroom tonight as it is Parent/Teacher Conference day and I have to be here rather late. In spite of having no scheduled conferences, I will soon be coming up on 12 straight hours in this school and that won't be the end of it.

Since I have managed to do all the work-related things I can possibly do and have spent enough time bothering people down in the office, I figured I'd best get the Wednesday Night Bullet Post out amongst the inter-webs. I need to look busy before someone finds a task to keep me "occupied." That might involve actual work and I just can't manage any heavy lifting right now. Not even the mental kind.

Let's take a look at the bullets for this week:

*I meant to blog last night so I wouldn't feel pressured tonight.

*You never know. There might be five thousand parents who suddenly decided I was worthy of conferencing and booked my time at the last minute.

*This did not happen.

*It's just as well. Yesterday was a miserable day and I just didn't have the heart to wax hilarious on the blog.

*The Invisibility Shawl is sitting in my bag. Any minute now, I'll probably feel the urge to knit up a few rows.

*Honest. Any minute now...

*It is entirely possible that I've gotten a bit of the brain freeze after hours of sitting in a classroom where there are no parents ready to conference.

*No. I can't leave. It is part of my contract and I get a day off in November for doing conferences.

*Besides, all the other teachers have to stay and we don't want them feeling jealous of my freedom.

*Or pity for my lack of company...

*Most of my students have longer meetings at least once a year. The regular conferences really aren't such a big deal and I don't begrudge parents skipping them.

*I had two meetings with various boss-types in the afternoon so I think I managed to meet my meeting quota even without conferences.

*The Parent/Teacher Organization makes dinner for us and we get to eat it in the cafeteria.

*Well...the people who can eat unfamiliar food get to do that.

*I am not a person who can eat food prepared by strangers or that has possibly been spat upon by slighted students who happen to live in the house where the food is being cooked.

*It could happen.

*I'm not paranoid. Except for the part where I am.

*I always feel badly about not eating the meal the parents prepare because I know it is not contaminated or filled with spittle. They work hard to do this for the teachers. It is a kindness.

*But I can't help thinking about it.

*It's better to think that sort of thing alone in my classroom rather than to be suddenly seized with doubt while my fork is trembling at my lips and the parent who baked the lasagna is eagerly awaiting the sight of my happy dining.

*And the making of "yummy" noises.

*Dropping one's fork and fleeing the cafeteria whilst shouting, "Unclean! Dear unclean!!!" is bad form. And untrue.

*And not the sort of thing that gets you the Teacher Of The Year nomination.

*I ate a peanut butter cup in my room and kept my crazy to myself.

*The school nurse is tired of giving me free tissues and cough drops. She is beginning to suspect that I am selling them on the internet or something.

*I'm not. I need the free tissues and cough drops if I am to survive the last lingering effects of The Cold That Will Not End.

*And which has nothing to do with spit poisoned food no matter what I may say in my more crazy moments.

*But it does probably have to do with the district running out of flu shots and the nurse giving mine to some kid who didn't appreciate it one little bit like I would have.

*I pointed this out to her several times today.

*But I don't think this is going to result in a shower of free cough drops.

*Sometimes you can just tell these things...

Well, the knitting is calling and I do believe I might risk a trip down to the teacher's room for a nice, sealed soda fresh from the machine. One that has not been touched by human hands because if you are going to be crazy you might as well go all the way.

It's not like I have any witnesses all alone up here in my conference-free classroom...



Julia G said...

Hi, Annie! Just keeping you cyber company in your lonely vigil. You might amuse yourself (or scare yourself) by searching Flickr for pictures of "Zombie Billy Mays", this year's hot Halloween costume (bring your own OxiClean) -- what will the undead stoop to next??

trek said...

Could you have brought yourself a nice, fluffy pillow?

Knitting Linguist said...

Oy. It seems to me like you should have brought a boat-load of peanut-butter cups to compensate you for your lonely classroom. Or a bottle of whiskey -- pick your poison. I hope you survived and are home even as I type!

Karen said...

I can't believe it's that time again. You really deserve more than one peanut butter cup.

Donna Lee said...

The only thing worse that sitting in an empty classroom (and at least the stalker's parents didn't make an appt) is standing in the hallway directing everyone to their appts.

Anonymous said...

::all I can do is laugh and shake my head ::

Thank God for peanut butter cups :)


Kath said...

Well peanut butter cups do have protein so I'm willing to accept that as a dinner substitute. But you know, you can never have too much protein in your diet, so in these situations I think it's always wise to have a few more peanut butter cups. Doesn't that make perfect sense?

Denise said...

my question is does anyone you mention in your blog read it? And I agree with having more peanut butter cups and maybe a handful of chocolates too. They are dairy based after all ;)

catsmum said...

I do so hope the CTWNE is not really this year's Monkey Pox in disguise
I think it's ridiculous that you are expected to be there 12 hours when no one is coming to see you

but then I guess the opinion of one lone aussie doesn't carry a lot of weight with the educational powers that be in Maine

wish I knew what a peanutbutter cup tasted like so that I could agree with [ or express horror at ]your choice of comestible

Yarnhog said...

I think that spit in the food thing is a common fear. For my part, I always keep the kids away from teacher-designated foods.

I would have been happy to have a conference with you. I tried to get a conference with the Middle School Maniac's math teacher because he's sliding ever downward on the grade scale. Her response was, "I'm only meeting with parents whose kids are getting less than a C in math. I have 200 students and only two half days for conferences."

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, since this is the same teacher who told me not to worry about my son failing math; since he's a year ahead, he can always retake it next year.

This is why I'm forking over $150 a week to Sylvan for math tutoring. I managed to resist pointing this out to her, though. I'm generally extremely sympathetic to teachers and the challenges they face, but in this case, I'm fresh out of understanding.