Peachy Customer

There are lots of things I don't do particularly well. In general, the mishaps born of my fumblings are the stuff of this blog. They make for entertaining stories.

However, my self-esteem is not so low that I don't know about the things I do well. I have been hanging around me for a long time now and I'm pretty adept at identifying the good stuff.

For example, I am a rather delightful customer. If you are in retail, I am not such a bad person to have show up at your counter.

Sometimes I'm good at this because I'm generally comfortable with the idea that I don't know everything about everything. There are times when I am making purchases which require a knowledge base I do not possess. I've also learned that faking it is a sure path to disaster. My best bet is to find a vendor who seems relatively trustworthy and fling myself upon her mercy. Nine times out of ten, this works. On the tenth try, I end up purchasing the high end version of the product instead of the sale item I wanted and find myself with the extended warranty. These things happen sometimes...

Other times, I am a good customer because I know exactly what I am doing. Either through experience or diligent study, I have a solid understanding of the product being discussed. Today, for example, I was continuing my quest for a new pair of glasses and perusing the wares at the local Big Box Department Store Of Values. It went like something like this:

Glasses Guru: Hello, ma'am. Is there anything I can do for you today?

Sheepish Annie: Why hello, yourself! I do believe you can assist me today. Here's the deal, my good man. This is my prescription. I'm in the market for a Progressive bi-focal, preferably something in the Varilux line. Obviously, given the prescription strength, I will be needing a high index lens. I believe that a 1.67 should be plenty. Anything beyond that is overkill, in my opinion. Now, here's where things get tricky. I need a narrow lens width to minimize facial distortion. Of course, this will also help with the overall thickness of the lens and is a nice benefit. My current glasses are along the lines of a 44mm width and really pretty close to perfect. I'd say I can go as high as 46mm if we push things, though. Now this means that we will also be looking at a short corridor Progressive and I know that's going to bump up the price a bit but that's the way these things go sometimes, right? Given my needs, I'd say our best bet would be to start over here in the children's section and work our way up from there. We are going to run into some issues with bridge width, but I think we can find something that will work. What do you say, my fine fellow? Are you ready to make some middle-aged myopic magic here?

GG: Wow.

SA: Problems?

GG: Um, no. It's just that you really did your homework...

I merely smiled. The truth of the matter is that I actually did very little homework. It's really more that I've been buying glasses for almost as long as this guy has been alive and, to be honest, I've screwed it up more than I've gotten it right. Painful and expensive lessons are really amazing teachers, aren't they?

I'm also a good customer because, as much as I'd like to think otherwise, I know I'm not the only person in the world. Or the store. When the Glasses Guru is working alone, I know that I'm going to have to be patient while he answers the phone and deals with other customers. Further, some of those other customers are not as enlightened as I when it comes to recognizing this fact. But, patience is often rewarded with better service, especially when you can commiserate with GG over the guy on the phone who couldn't understand whom to call about his contact lens order. The fact that all orders are now going through 1-800-CONTACTS seemed to flummox him and required several repetitions.

CONTACTS. The thing you want to buy. Dial that. You will get your lenses...

I also know that when the Glasses Guru is willing to spend 45 minutes with me even though he knew right up front that I am only shopping around at this point and not planning to give him any money today, I have probably found one of the good guys. He had a great sense of humor, wrote down everything I needed should I decide to order and never once made me feel like I was the victim of a hard sell. He saw the incredible irony in the my putting old-lady lenses in frames made by Disney and laughed at my commentary on this subject. He also beat my optometrist's price by about $150.00.

We need not discuss the fact that the kiddie frames I will probably buy are a shade of light purple. "Plum" to be exact. Whatever. I'm moving into bi-focals. I might as well get something that matches my varicose veins, right?

(I actually wore bi-focals in jr. high so this isn't really the big deal I'm making it out to be. But I do like to inject a little self-absorbed drama into things every now and again...)

I may be a great customer, but I'm sort of lousy when it comes to sticking to a yarn plan. In fact, I'm probably the worst sticker-to-yarn-planners in the world. Gripped as I am in the summer dishcloth knitting frenzy, I still decided that I would use up the cotton I have here before going out to get more. I need glasses. I can't be tossing money around all will-nilly on yarn when I still have half a cone of the stuff right in my living room! I swore up and down that I would not be buying any more yarn until a dent was made in that which I already possess!

But what is one to do when faced with the brilliant shades of Peaches & Creme available these days?

I didn't get the purple, though. That should count for something...

The glasses remain under consideration, but yarn I don't even have to think about. Even if I promised I'd think about it before dropping the cash. I suppose that spending money is another thing that makes me a good customer, but I sometimes wonder if my priorities are a little bit skewed.

Maybe the Glasses Guru would like a nice, new dishcloth...

SA