I Suspect And I Speculate

Sure, I could be infected with the dreaded H1N1 virus and on the verge of imminent collapse. It is entirely possible that I was coated with cooties by some kid who cannot contain his own bacteria during math class. For that matter, I might have been spirited away from my home last night by a government agency, injected with some new, alien super-virus for testing purposes, and then given a complete mind-wipe in order that I might have no memory of the event.

It could be any of those things that caused me to be wracked with tummy twists late this morning. It is not outside the realm of possibility.

But I think it was more related to my diet this weekend than any of those things. As much as I'd like to be able to survive something so dramatic and have all those fantastic tales to tell, I don't think it is going to play out that way. When you spend the entire weekend consuming vast amounts of foods that have been fried, sugar-coated, dipped in oil and/or all of the above, it is likely you will pay the price.

Thankfully, I was able to salvage the situation with the timely swallowing of pink tablets. I shudder to think what might have happened otherwise. I was in agony for a bit there. Witnesses who cared (not the students...they just wanted me to give them the answers to the Roman history questions) said that I was actually a greenish gray color for a minute there.

And with all the construction on the Maine Turnpike these days, I don't think I would have made it home without pulling over. Twice. I take a great deal of teasing over the medicine cabinet in my purse, but the alternative would have been pretty darned "colorful" today.

Or maybe no one would have even noticed. I seem to have gotten myself plonked down right in the middle of The Great Administrator Wars sometime during the past ten hours. This is easier to do than you might think, especially if you work for several bosses and are also coordinating services for a student who is from another building. School administrators are generally fine, upstanding people who want nothing less than the best for their teachers and students. I was parented by a school administrator so I know these things.

But, like everyone else, they also want a little consideration and to know that their kingdoms are within their control. With no fewer than four people making decisions about what I will be doing, emailing and phoning these decisions to everyone but each other, then expecting I will somehow follow through on these nowhere-close-to-the-same actions immediately, things got a bit confusing today. During that hour-long window where I feared the tossing of my cookies, it is entirely possible that my distress would have been missed in the mayhem. Mostly they would have been wondering why I was spending so much time trying to find a custodian when I should have been performing conflicting actions simultaneously.

I was late getting home. Even though my tummy was find and dandy by then, I'd pretty much had enough with the doing of stuff. I didn't ride the little bike like I should have done on a Monday. I didn't do that thing where I pedal and knit on the not-sleeve. I just sat on the couch and performed an intricate mathematical equation designed to figure out which boss 'o mine could make my life the most miserable should I fail to do his/her bidding. That's the one I'm going to listen to.

This is what I get for eating fried cheese on the weekend and volunteering to take on an extra kid to help out another principal.

Hear me now: As of June 23rd, I will eat what I want and not worry about the effects because I will be at home where it doesn't matter so much. I will also choose one course of action per situation and no one will have the power to make me try to do more than that.

I think this will be best for me. And for the knitting.

SA