With Both Feet

The thing I really hate about September is how everything seems to go into overdrive.  I barely have a minute to appreciate the change of seasons and the beauty of the autumnal leaves because my whole life becomes consumed by the return to school and the four billion things that all have to be done right now lest we all perish in a horrific judgmental fire.  Which is why we have ten fire drills per week, I guess.

I might be exaggerating just a bit there.  But not by much.  We jump in with both feet and to heck with anything remotely resembling a "transition period."

Fortunately, I have a nice little blog to come home to.  It doesn't ask for much, only that I stop by once a week to give it a little attention.  The Wednesday Night Bullet Post seems to make it happy and it is a mighty fine thing to be able to say you spread a little joy around midweek.

Here's this week's bullet points:

*Today was Wear Full Shoes Instead Of Sandals For The First Time Since April day.

*I whined about the blisters on my heels all the way to my car this afternoon when school let out.

*The people still in sandals somehow looked very smug and superior to me, but I don't care.

*They'll get theirs any day now!

*We are almost finished with the school district achievement testing.

*My class usually gets tested last due to smaller numbers so we will probably still be doing that when next week rolls around.

*That is something of a problem given that we start state mandated achievement testing on Monday.

*That is the Very Big And Challenging Test That No One Likes And For Which Every Student Blames His Or Her Teacher.

*We, in turn, blame the administrators because proctoring and administering these things is a nightmare.

*I don't know who the administrators blame.  I assume they just wander around town pointing their fingers accusingly at anyone who dares to make eye contact when testing time rolls around...

*Achievement testing in the fall doesn't really make a whole lot of sense.  Kids haven't learned much in the way of new stuff yet.

*And they've managed to forget half of what they learned the previous year.

*Heck, I barely can recall what I taught them back then but that could be more of an age related thing on my end.

*The other thing I hate about going back to school is that it is time for my feet to go all puff-i-fied again.

*My feet are fine in the summer.

*The minute they see where are back at school, they suddenly go all third trimester on me.

*Stupid feet.  I've tried explaining to them that I am not standing or sitting for any more time than I did during the summer.  I'm careful about that.

*They just get excited or something and don't want to see reason.

*A couple of weeks ago, my phone rang after 8:00.

*My phone does not ring after 8:00.  Not on a school night.  Everyone knows about school nights in my world.

*School nights require the locating of matching shoes and shirts that do not have holes in unseemly places.

*That takes some time...

*Only emergency calls come after 8:00 on a school night and I feared the worst.  Especially when it turned out to be Mommy Sheep on the phone.

*I braced myself for the worst.  The last time I got one of these calls, I had to go out and buy a whole new funeral outfit since it turns out I don't have anything remotely mournful enough.

*And I can't wear that again because everyone has seen it and besides the seasons have changed.

*She was only calling to ask how I felt about Mustangs.

*I like Mustangs.  Both the horses and the cars.

*This wasn't about horses.

*For those who haven't caught on, my parents have a new car.

*For those who have caught on and are wondering about the details, they include, "cherry red," "2013" and "convertible."

*Yes.  It is true.  My parents are cooler than I will ever be.  Ever.  When they jump, they jump big.

*I drive a crossover station wagon.

*The kind you see soccer moms tooling around in...

*I don't hate.  Mommy and Daddy Sheep worked hard and deserve to enjoy life in a convertible.

*Plus they can drive it when they head south for the winter and that will be fun.

*Florida. Where, as Daddy Sheep puts it, you can't throw a rock without hitting an old fart in a sports car.

*::giggle-snort!::

*The home improvement frenzy here at the manse continues unabated.

*Except for the part where I have to go to school on my puffy feet and test kids.

*I'm not sure if I was motivated to do this too late or if the summer ended too soon...

*Last weekend, I painted an accent wall in the living room.

*Which sounds easy but it wasn't because I have a Very Complicated Kitty who stripped most of the wallpaper for me a while back.

*And more of the drywall than I care to mention.

*Repairs took a while.

*But the wall is now painted a lovely shade of Toasted Pumpernickel.

*The bathroom, if you will recall, was painted in Belgian Waffle.

*I told the people at the hardware store that I'm going with a Modern Carbs theme.

*Had I known I was going to suddenly feel a desire to do all this, I might have forced my summer-not-puffy-feet to move a little quicker.

*Weekends are getting a bit tiring for me.

*I am redecorating on a budget.  Something along the lines of...wait a minute...

*Carry the one...now subtract the other number...and...

*Oh, yeah.  That'd be a budge of "close to nothing."

*Hence, there has been a great deal of repurposing and recycling of stuff.

*Like those brass (ish) switchplate covers I thought were ever so sophisticated back in the 90's.

*And which now seem so very garish on my nice pumpernickel wall.

*I found a can of matte black spray paint in a clearance bin and figured the budget might stretch to cover it.

The need for a flash means the wall color isn't even close to what it is in real life.  But you get the idea.

*There wasn't a can of polyurethane on the clearance rack so I had to be careful with the screwdriver.

*And still managed to  put a little gouge in it.  I just squint when I look at it and then everything gets blurry enough to make it all look nice.

*I'm only ever going to invite very nearsighted people over from this point forward.  It will be fine.

*Reading hasn't been much of a priority since I decided to jump into the whole home improvement thing.

*And test kids until they cry.

*But I managed to find time to finally read The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel.

*Somehow, I ended up reading one of the later books in the series years ago and I really wanted to go back and experience the first one.

*Yay for digital library loans!

*I also picked up my own copy of Taken (An Alex Verus Novel).

*Slow progress on that one, but not because I don't like it.  I do like it.  Love it, in fact.

*But that one is on my iPad and not the less expensive reader I can carry anywhere without fear of dropping it in the tub.

*I read about the trials of Alex Verus at bedtime and I'm tired from the testing, painting, foot massaging and being less cool than my parents.

*Tend to fall asleep before I get past three pages.

*Still, I highly recommend this series.  Great fun and a fabulous premise.

*I might even get this one finished sometime before Christmas break.

*When I can finally put my feet up and stop jumping around like a crazed grasshopper...


And that just about covers it.  If it doesn't, then it will have to do.  I haven't gotten to the point where I know what I'm wearing tomorrow and that has me just the slightest bit concerned.  It is also after 7:00 and I still haven't managed to cobble together some dinner.  If too much more time passes, I might have to settle for getting only one of those things done before bedtime and that isn't going to end well no matter which way I go.

One needs strength and appropriate footwear if one plans on continuing to jump...

SA

WNBP: One Week Was Enough

Hello, Wednesday!  Nice to see you.  It is really impressive the way you roll around once a week like clockwork.  You are an incredibly prompt day and I salute your responsible ways.

That said...I surely do wish you had more of a Friday vibe going on.  This whole "working full time, five days a week" thing is really starting to wear thin.  And I'm saying that after having only really worked for one full week since the school year started up again.

No offense intended.  You are what you are, dear Wednesday.  And I shall give you your due since it's not your fault you aren't Friday.  Here is your weekly Wednesday Night Bullet Post as a reward for all your hard work and relentless dedication to showing up once every seven days!

*I worked five days in a row last week.

*This week, I have a dentist appointment on Friday so I won't be working five days in a row.

*I think that it is perfectly reasonable given that it was never my idea to make the work week five days long in the first place...

*I went to a training this morning.  Thought I might get to see the Cheerful Teaching Assistant and visit for a bit before we both went back to our respective new jobs in other buildings.

*I didn't.  But she caught the Organized Teaching Assistant and sent a hello my way.

*The New Teaching Assistant is working out very well.  I really like her.

*But I haven't come up with a nickname for her yet.  For now, we'll just stick with NTA.  At least until I come up with something better.

*Those of you reading this blog from The Way Back will recall the time I had the monkey pox (which was really pneumonia) and how I had to call in sick for days and days.  Then for another day when I suddenly spiked a fever of 104.

*A lot of people were out sick that day.  The poor school secretary was overwhelmed by the time I chimed in with my request for an absence.

*That was the NTA.

*Odd how things come full circle...

*I didn't even know she'd switched from the front office to the classroom.  Apparently, it's been a while.

*Glad she did, though.  She's really very good.  Used to work with the more severely disabled students.

*Which explains why she found a go-normous diaper in her school bag today.

*We don't often find a use for those in my classroom, but I am getting closer to that age where continence might be compromised.  Maybe it's a sign of some sort and I should be looking into restocking my own school bag...

*Last night was Open House Night at my school.  Parents were invited to come and see the glory of public education in all its finery from 6:00-7:00.

*I had a few visitors, more than is usual.

*But still a long night and I was dog-tired when I finally made it home.

*Since I haven't been sleeping well due to some tummy troubles for several days now, it was no surprise that I fell into a sleepin' and droolin' state the moment my head hit the pillow.

*I can't be certain, but I think I might have either slept in one position without moving or spent the night rolling boulders up a hill.

*It's one of those because my neck and shoulder are killing me today.

*And I'm still exhausted which further props up my point regarding the foolishness of the five day work week.

*Never been so glad to have a dentist appointment in my life.  And I hate my dentist so that is saying something!

*The New Teaching Assistant would like some fingerless mitts.  The simple crocheted kind.

*I said I could do it easy-peasy and meant it.

*But it is still about a billion degrees outside, so I didn't feel too pressured to get going on this project.

*Today, whilst cleaning out the school bag, the NTA found a pair of mittens.

*They were right under the gigantic adult diapers.

*Thinking she might be embarrassed to find mittens in her school bag under the adult diapers during the warm weather months, I said, "Well, those could come in handy now that we have recess at our school.  It's really good of you to be prepared like that."

*Her reply?

*"Well, I wouldn't need them if I had some crocheted, fingerless mitts now would I?"

*See why I like her?  Even if she couldn't find me a sub during the horrible Monkey Pox days.

*The dealership where I get my car serviced just sent me a reminder that I will die if I don't get my tires replaced soon.

*They pointed out that they pointed this out several weeks ago.  That is a double point.

*The fact that I have already paid them oodles of dollars to replace those tires seems to be beside the point over at the dealership.

*If I do end up dying over not replacing the tires I already replaced, I am going to feel really stupid.

*But I'm taking that chance.

*I guess that is a reason for working five days in a row:  paying for new tires and the postage needed to mail me reminders about tires I don't need.

*I've been listening to the audio version of Beautiful Darkness (Beautiful Creatures, Book 2) to help pass the commute required for a five day work week.

*Since driving around for five days takes a long time, I was able to finish it and am now listening to Beautiful Chaos (Beautiful Creatures).

*I think I might have had a bad download because the audio was horrible at first.

*The reader sounded like he had the worst lisp in the world.

*Everything straightened itself out today, though.  And the enjoyment continues!!!

*I think I would have liked this one in print form just as much, but I have to say I'm pretty hooked on the audiobook.

*Almost makes me wish I was commuting to work on Friday.

*Almost...


Yes, I worked one whole week before caving.  And I'm not going to apologize for my weakness, although I still sort of feel like I should.  For what it's worth, I am not the one who suggested that dentist appointments come every six months any more than I am the one who dreamed up the five day work week.

It just turned out that way, darn it all.  What else can I do?

SA

WNBP: Back In The Swing

There isn't much to say about being back in school full time.  It is what it is.  Getting up every morning pays the bills and it is actually kind of nice to have a routine in place.  Sort of.  I mean, let's face it.  The pace you set for yourself is always much more palatable.

But the time for that is over.  This week is the first full five days of school in a row and it's time to get back into the swing of it all.  I don't think the sunny days of summer would be half so sweet if I didn't have the school year for contrast.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

And, as part of my dedication to looking at the bright side, I am forced to admit that a regular work week makes Wednesday easier to spot.  This year Wednesday should actually stand out a bit more, given that it is going to be a different kind of work day.  I might even start remembering the Wednesday Night Bullet Post before the sun starts to set and prime time television begins making its way towards my screen!

Here's your bullet points for this week:

*Our school district is using Wednesdays to accommodate two hours of staff development time this year.

*That means a two hour delay for students.

*But a longer work day with less prep time for staff.

*It's worth it, though.  We are saving literally tens of thousands of dollars on subs and finally able to keep up with the teacher training that needs to happen in any given school year.

*Daycare is being provided for families who need it.

*The community, for the most part, is on board with this.

*Today was the first delayed start day.  It went fairly well.

*Only one staff person forgot and, by my count, only one bus screwed up the later run.

*Of course, it happened to be my new teaching assistant's daughter that got left standing by the curb.

*Which meant that my new teaching assistant had to leave school to go get her because she was hysterical at the thought of missing school.

*I honestly don't understand the kids of today.

*In my day, when the bus didn't pick you up you stayed home, watched cartoons and you liked it, by God!!!

*Wait...I have to go get the lumpy, misshapen biscuits out of the oven.

*There.  Now I have lumpy, misshapen biscuits.  Life can go on.

*I brought the car back in on Saturday to finish up all the work required for my state inspection.

*I'm in for five hundred bucks now but the car passed.

*I spent Sunday driving around so I could wave gaily at the local police on patrol.

*I think they appreciated my pointing out my shiny new inspection sticker.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty loves the shiny new sticker.

*The cost of the car repair meant I had to cancel the dental cleaning he had scheduled for today.

*I love the AGK and it shames me to no end that we have reached the point where a dental cleaning is necessary.

*It costs more to clean a cat's teeth than it does mine.

*I do not require full anesthesia for a cleaning.

*Although, considering my dentist, I should probably consider it...

*I'll be bringing the foul-mouthed feline in next month, lest you think I am a bad mother who doesn't care if her baby has gingivitis.

*For all my grousing about the new school year, I really do have to say that I kind of like my new job.

*Still an intensive caseload, but intensive in a different way.

*Like I said in the teacher's room today:

I can't believe no one has thrown a chair at my head yet!

*Tomorrow we have been invited to shuck corn in the cafeteria's kitchen.

*It's Celebrate Local Produce Day.

*I don't have to come up with a lesson plan for shucking corn in the kitchen.  I just take the kids down and we shuck corn in the kitchen.

*Which is good because my school-issued laptop isn't printing with any kind of reliability and lesson planning has been something of a crap shoot now that I can't share any of my brilliant materials with the eager pupils.

*There is a fire drill tomorrow.

*Which I have only just realized is scheduled right in the middle of corn-shuckin' time.

*That should go well.  A bunch of kids still getting used to the new schedule...corn...shrieking alarm bells...

*Yeah.  I can't possibly envision a scenario where things go badly.

*The cats don't seem disturbed in the least that I am leaving them every day.

*In fact, they seem kind of happy about it.

*Which makes me wonder exactly what the heck goes on around here all day when I'm gone!!

*I have less time for reading these days, but I'm doing my very best.

*I finished A Great and Terrible Beauty (The Gemma Doyle Trilogy).

*With time to spare before it needed to be digitally returned to the library, I might add.

*Probably going to cut it a little close with the sequel, though.

* Rebel Angels (The Gemma Doyle Trilogy Book #2) is really good, perhaps even better than the first in the trilogy.

*But I've had the whole school thing going on and that has seriously cut into my reading time.

*We have a sustained silent reading period at school, but it seems that I spend most of my time signing bathroom passes and telling people they should be reading.  

*Oddly, I find I can't make much progress on a story while at school.  Weird, that...

*But, the bills will be paid this month (if you don't count the whole crusty-mouthed-cat-thing) so I'm going to accept the situation for what it is.

*And remember that there is bound to be a vacation week hidden in the school calendar somewhere.


Well, I must dash.  Part of staying in the swing of things is making sure that I have clean underpants for the work day and figuring out if there is anything in the fridge that might constitute a lunch.  You have to allow enough time for that or you'll end up with underpants in your lunch bag and no one wants that.

Trust me.

SA

WNBP: Not Into It At All!!!

This year's summer vacation was longer than is usual.  That is good.  We like the vacation time.  And, while it took me a while to get into the summer groove, I like to think I did the season proud when all was said and done.

I'm good at summer vacation.  If my stuttering re-entry into the world of teaching is any indication, I should probably consider doing summer vacation on more of a full time basis.  Seriously.  This whole "getting up and going somewhere that doesn't allow bedroom slippers" nonsense is really just not working out for me at all.  I can't seem to get into it and I suspect this is going to be a problem if I don't get myself together soon.

Here's your bullet points for this lovely Wednesday.  If nothing else, I can say I've managed to keep to the blogging schedule in these dire and uncertain times...

*I almost said, "forget the blog" tonight.  I'm all flustered and out of sorts and perhaps thought that punishing the blog would do something about that.

*It's not the blog's fault I spent the last few days of summer vacation in complete and utter denial regarding the need to get up at 5:00 on Tuesday morning in order that I might start another school year. The blog had nothing to do with that at all.

*Hence, I shall feed the blog and do so with something resembling good grace.

*After yesterday's lengthy round of teacher workshops, I was spent and not looking forward to the kids arrival come Wednesday.

*The best line of the day, "Um, Ms. Sheep?  You don't think we have kids tomorrow, do you?"

*I did.

*How the heck did I manage to forget that we have an extra day of workshops this year due to all the building changes?????

*That is a fairly significant detail, the whole kids vs. no kids thing.

*My school used to be a 7th and 8th grade middle school.

*Now it is a 6th and 7th grade middle school and this honestly did require a whole extra day of discussion.

*I'm not being facetious.  There were great differences between how the 6th grade school was run and how the middle school went about its business.  We still haven't completely come to agreement on how we are going to manage some of it.

*I just sit back quietly and nod sagely, like I really have deep thoughts on the matter.

*I've moved classrooms, schools and school districts about five billion times to date.  It's all the same to me.

*Yesterday, Mr. Principal introduced each of the new teaching teams and handed out school t-shirts sporting our respective team colors.  Everyone had to say what they taught, how many years they've been teaching and how long they've worked for the school district.

*I don't quite know how I feel about being forced to admit I've been doing this for a quarter of a century...

*The last day of summer vacation was not relaxing.  I had no car, having left it in the tender, loving care of the dealership the previous morning.

*When I got it back, it still hadn't passed its state inspection and required many, many dollars to release.

*Also a promise to return it for the rest of the work next weekend.

*Then I had to go register said vehicle with the town and pay my excise tax.

*All this irked me beyond belief because I wanted to keep those dollars with me.

*Furthermore, there was a Dr. Who marathon on.

*I do not feel that I should be running around doing things I put off doing until the last minute when there is a Dr. Who marathon on.

*That should be a law.

*My bathroom startles me.

*I go in there and it's not my bathroom.

It's clean and someone painted it!!!

*I think I like Belgian Waffle as a paint color.

*Almost as much as I like Belgian Waffles...

*Over the last month of summer vacation, I cleared my bedroom of a great deal of outdated clothing and furniture.

*I cleaned the kitchen and got rid of more useless gadgetry than any one person should ever have.

*I have come to accept that I am a stupidly sentimental person who will save a candy wrapper if I can attach meaning to it.

*No.  Seriously.  I found a Sentimental Candy Bar Wrapper Of Great Emotional Import in a kitchen cupboard.

*I no longer own the wrapper.  There has to be a limit to sentimentality.

*And now I have a place to put my yogurt maker!

*My Nook account doesn't have much in it.  But, since I was rummaging around in that particular section of my electronic library, I figured I'd read some stuff.

*I found the first three books in the Dulcie O'Neil series and decided to re-read To Kill A Warlock: The Dulcie O'Neil Series (Volume 1).

*What the heck?  It's there and it's a fun little story that comes with other fun little stories.  Why not give it a read?

*The start of the new school year is a good time for fun little stories, just to keep things light and whatnot.

* I need "light."  Most of my focus really needs to be centered around getting up in the morning and remembering what I have to do to be presentable.

*That isn't going well so far.  Good thing we had the second workshop day or I would have been sunk this morning.

*The good thing about commuting again is that I get to listen to the audiobooks I've been saving for just this time of the year.

*Thrilled to be finally listening to Beautiful Darkness (Beautiful Creatures, Book 2)!

*Finally allowing myself the pleasure almost makes me forget that I am in the car and wearing shoes.

*At least I hope I wore shoes.

*The way things have been going, there is a good chance I wasn't but I don't want to think about it too much.

*Nothing I can do about it now, right?


Well, tomorrow I can only hope I've come to terms with my new reality.  The kids will be arriving whether I am shod or not and me showing up in slippers might just set a bad tone for the rest of the year.  I'm going to get to bed early tonight and think positive thoughts for me getting out the door sometime around the scheduled 6:00 departure time.

I figure I have a 50/50 shot but that's better than I expected...

SA

WNBP: Covered In Waffle...

I am absolutely stunned to suddenly find myself in the last week of summer vacation. It's been a long one this year.  We got out early and are going back later than usual.  That said, the whole thing seems to have passed in a blur.

My sudden and obsessive need to Finish All Things Or Die Trying continues unabated, but I fear I might be reaching the point where a bit of a sit down is in order.  Since I've been able to reset my router enough to make internet happen for a while, I'll kick back and enjoy a nice Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  Maybe that will be enough to reset my internal router and let me stop with the "doing of stuff" for a little while...

*I've been doing stuff.

*Today should have been Farmer's Market Day, but it wasn't.

*I was obsessed with doing stuff and decided that trip would be more stuff than I could handle.

*Fear not.  I went last Saturday.  I got tomatoes.  I made sauce.

*I've done the math and figured out that this sauce rings up at roughly twenty dollars a pint.

*It's not about the money.  It's about making tomatoes into liquid.

*That amuses me beyond all reason...

*So yesterday I found myself in a kind of weird situation.

*I was standing in the middle of my bathroom and covered in Belgian Waffle when I suddenly said to myself...

*HOLY CRAP, I AM PAINTING MY BATHROOM!!!

*I've been thinking about it for a while.

*I'm good at thinking about stuff, but usually not so good with the follow through.

*How I ended up standing in the middle of my empty bathroom with a paint roller in my hand and peachy/brownish paint up to my elbows is something of a mystery.

*I found the receipt for the paint so clearly I purchased it that morning.

*But I refuse to believe that it was I who did such a meticulous job of taping the edges.

*That just doesn't sound like something I would do...

*The paint color is really called Belgian Waffle.

*I'm thinking about getting some Fresh Baked Pumpernickel to do a couple of accent walls.

*I firmly believe that walls should have a high carb content.

*I'm not going to buy any of the paints named after fruits.

*We'll see if I suddenly end up in the middle of a some other room with pumpernickel on my elbows any time in the near future...

*Meanwhile, the bathroom walls look pretty good except for that one spot.

*You know the spot...the one that never seems to come out the same color and you have to go back over it.

*Yeah.  That spot.

*I haven't gone back over it yet.  I'm hoping the magic that is drying paint will somehow even it all out.

*Painting the bathroom walls means everything else looks kinda grungy.

*So I had to scrub some stuff.

*Then I took a nap.

*Then I woke up because my back was so sore I thought I'd suddenly aged forty years over the duration of a forty minute nap.

*On Monday, I finally broke down and went in to school.

*A classroom will not set itself up without teacher assistance no matter how far we've come as a society.

*It was hot.  It was sticky.

*It was infested with hornets.

*Lots and lots of hornets.

*They come in through the spot where they had to board up that window.

*You know...the window.  The one that kids break and that they keep telling you they will fix so you'll stop complaining, but they never do.

*I finished setting up the room over the course of three hours, killed a dozen hornets with my flip flop and headed down to see Mr. Principal.

Ms. Sheep:  Hey, Mr. Principal.  How are you?

Mr. Principal:  Why, hello Ms. Sheep!  I've missed you and your sunny disposition over these dreary summer months.  What delightful news do you bring me today?

MS:  Well, I thought I should give you a heads up.  My room couldn't have any more hornets in it if it were an actual hornets nest.  I've been up there for three hours and now I have to clean my flip flop.

MP:  That is horrible!  We should do something about that!!

MS:  Yeah.  It might be a good idea.  They keep coming in through that boarded up window.  The one with the rain soaked plywood over it.  I haven't gotten around to stuffing it with paper towels yet what with having to set up the whole room and all.

MP:  Paper towels?  In the window?  Ms. Sheep...that is ridiculous!  We should fix that!!

MS:  Well...I may have mentioned that once or twice over the last few years.

*With my luck, the hornets will all hide when the custodians get in there to check it out and they will have taken with them the bodies of their fallen comrades previously littering my office floor.

*Or they will discover that the hornets are coming from somewhere else and I STILL won't have a window in the main classroom area.

*If I am lucky, one of them will sting me and I can fake an allergy or something.  That could be good for a sick day or something...

*My idiot neighbors are working on their car and revving the engine with great gusto.

*There is also a great deal of whooping and chortling involved.

*My back hurts too much to go down there.  I'll just glare at the window periodically and I'm certain they will get the message.  They'll probably feel just horrible about their behavior...

*Do you realize that, this time next week, I will be back to school full time?

*With the kids.

*And the hornets.

*Neither of which really want me around long term.  It's more fun for both kids and hornets when Ms. Sheep isn't there.

*And neither understands that I don't really have a choice in the matter.

*I'd much rather be home covered in Belgian Waffle even if I don't fully understand how I ended up in that condition.

*I was pleasantly surprised by A Dirty Job: A Novel.

*Most of Mr. Moore's stuff is on the edgy side and more than a little irreverent.  Sharp witted and sarcastic but in a good way.

*This one had all that, true.  But it was, dare I say it...sweet.

*Really sweet.  And a little bit sentimental and I couldn't help but genuinely like almost all the characters even if they were representing Death's interests on earth.

*I found Fire Burn And Cauldron Bubble: The Jolie Wilkins Series (Volume 1) hiding in my Nook library last weekend.

*I don't use that account very often and totally forgot the first two books in that series were in there.

*I've already read them, but I like a nice re-read every now and again.

*And, with commuting season almost upon me, I borrowed an audio copy of Moon Called (Mercy Thompson) from the library just to get myself back in the swing of listening to stuff in the car.

*Surprisingly good and adequately read.

*Will probably try to get others in the series at some point.

*Summer is short.  The school year is long.  A girl needs something to pass the time once the Waffle High wears off.


Well, that's about it for me sitting in one spot.  My back doesn't seem to like it and I'm getting the urge to go see if there is anything that needs "touching up" on my waffle-walls.  Besides, no one is really sure how long my internet connection is going to last (the techs at my service provider included) so I suppose I should upload while the uploadin' is good.

Tomorrow I am taking the car in for service but that is all I have on the docket.  For now anyway.  It's the last week of summer vacation.  Who knows what urge will overtake me in these dwindling moments of freedom?

Or if it will come with a side of bacon?

SA

WNBP: A Clean Sweep. And Mopping. And Dusting.

Oh this should be a good Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  I am following my usual pattern of summertime insomnia: issues at the start/issues at the end.  If I managed two hours of snooze time last night, I'd be shocked.

First I was too hot.  Then I was too cold.  Then I couldn't stand to be in the bed and had to get up.  This, of course, caught the attention the resident felines and scrambled their simplistic understanding of feeding times.  For the record, just because I get out of bed, this doesn't mean it is time for breakfast.  By the time, I was ready to hit the sack again, they were frisky as all get-out and racing about like graceless dervishes.

This went on for most of the night.  I would imagine my downstairs neighbors are less than thrilled.  I'd feel badly about that, but I am too tired to work up a good care.

I'm just going to head right into this week's bullet points and let them take me where they may.  Apologies in advance for any lack of clarity.  And trust me.  There will be a lack of clarity.  I fail to see how it can go any differently right now.

*I made brownies today.

*I know what you're thinking:  Sheepie!  Brownies on a Wednesday?  That is just wrong on so many levels!!!

*I have been doing a great deal of housecleaning lately.

*And I don't mean "straightening up and a little light dusting."

*I mean "heavy duty cleaning that involves gloves and squirming underneath furniture."

*The whole thing started with the smoke detector.

*A couple of weeks ago, the combination of steam from the bathroom and the already humid weather conditions set off the smoke alarm several times.

*Hint:  It is really a heat detector.  And it really hates my bathroom being right next to it.

*I really hate it, too.  Even more, I hate that my smoke detector is wired into the electrical system.

*It was going off so often on this particular Sunday morning, that I actually ended up flipping the breaker to reset it.

*This was harder than you think since the breaker box is located behind my bedroom door and I've stored quite a bit of stuff in that general and somewhat hidden area over the years.

*Then I got to thinking, "Gosh, what if there was an emergency and they needed to get to the breaker box?  I'd be just mortified if anyone saw my storage area!  I should move all that to the closet where it will be out of the way and invisible to prying eyes trying to locate my breaker box."

*That would have been a good plan save for the fact that I was already storing stuff in the bedroom closet.  And under the bed.  And in every other closet, nook, cranny and corner of the manse.

*I've lived here a long time.  I found myself visiting stuff I haven't seen since I was a young slip of a girl with my whole life ahead of me and lots of shopping to do.

*Apparently, I have shopped quite a a bit over the years.

*We are two weeks into The Great Purge of 2012.  It has sort of been a "one thing leads to another" kind of deal.

*You clean one area and suddenly another looks dingy.  Next thing you know, you are scrubbing down the bathroom walls and wondering exactly when things got so completely out of hand.

*I have removed approximately twenty bags of stuff from this place.

*Big bags.  Contractor sized bags, in some cases.  We can only hope that the condo association spies don't have someone watching the dumpster because I'm not entirely certain I'm supposed to use it for this level of purging...

*I haven't gone to the Farmer's Market for two weeks straight.

*I was going to go today.  Made it as far as the grocery store and that was all I could stand.

*Two hours of sleep is kind of like being intoxicated, sick and stupid all rolled into one.

*That said, two weeks is too long to forgo my regular Visit With The Vegetables so I am going to have to suck it up and go on Saturday.

*I hate going on Saturday.  The other humans are there.  They get in my way and hog all the good tomatoes.

*Early yesterday evening, I heard Christmas music.  Being that this is August, I found that odd.

*Even more disturbing, however, was the fact that it was coming from my own computer.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty somehow managed to open iTunes with his hindquarters and send out a little holiday cheer.

*This is alarming and could possibly account for the insomnia situation, now that I think of it...

*Yesterday, was my absolute limit regarding my slow Internet speed.  I finally broke down and made the call for assistance.

*Step One:  Explaining a Mac.  And why I am not using any form of Windows.  And how they haven't updated their manuals since Apple put out version 10.8.

*And that my name isn't Kristy.

*A repair ticket was issued and I was assured that it was highly unlikely a home visit would be needed.

*Message on the machine today said a technician would be at my home sometime before 7:00 pm on Thursday.

*Internet is working rather well today.  Quite speedily, actually.  Debating whether I should cancel the tech, but I can't help but believe that the moment I do, the whole system will suddenly implode.

*The realization that a technician was coming to my home forced me to start cleaning the living room.

*I wasn't going to do that.  I was going to wait.

*But the amount of stitch markers and yarn snippets in the general area of the router made me rethink that plan.

*Have we gotten to the point where we forgive me for eating brownies on a Wednesday yet?  I mean, I was crawling around the wires and dust bunnies for over an hour, people!!!

*I have used my library card more in the last couple of weeks than in the past ten years, I think.

*Yay for finally being able to get digital library loans!

*I started reading Perdido Street Station.

*It is very good.  Very, very good.  Exceptional, really.

*But I found it disturbing.  I could see it going to a dark, dark place.

*With the insomnia situation and my new found obsession regarding people judging my storage habits, I decided that this was the wrong time to read that book.

*Returned it with a click of the mouse and checked out The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove instead.

*I read the first book in this series years ago.  That one wasn't available to refresh my memory, but I figured I'd catch up.

*Lighthearted and inappropriate in all the right ways.  A good choice for my sleep deprived brain!

*And, as it was a quick read, I was able to head right into The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror without missing a beat.

*Except for the times when I was crawling around rescuing dpns and cable needles from the dust bunnies, that is...

*I don't love all of Christopher Moore's stuff, but he does have a witty way about him.

*If you are OK with a great deal of irreverence.

*Which I am.

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant loves Christopher Moore.  She went to Boston to hear him speak last spring.

*I wish we were going to be working together this year so I could tell her I read about the Lust Lizard and the Stupid Angel.  Maybe I can email her...

*God, I'm tired.  And I am itchy and sneezy from all the dust I've battled today.

*And, if I'm being perfectly honest, I really kinda, sorta want another brownie.


That is probably my cue to close this down for the night.  Once you start yawning, itching and craving carbs, there is little hope for further blog sense.  With any luck, I'll be able to convince my brain to power down tonight and the sandman will come for a visit.  I could really use some sleep right about now.  I'd welcome that particular guest with open arms.

If sleep cannot be had, I guess I could invite Mr. Sandman in for a brownie and show him my very organized storage areas.  That could be fun, too...

SA

WNBP: Recovering, Discovering And Cash Lay Out

Hello, Wednesday!  It is so very nice to see you.  I don't suppose you might bring with you some decent prime time viewing this week, would you?  No?  That's OK.  I wasn't really expecting it.  I'll just continue to entertain myself with ongoing errands and back to school nonsense while you carry on with the last of the lame summer programming.

I'll manage.  If nothing else, the Wednesday Night Bullet Post will kill a little time.  Further, it will allow me to process all that has occurred since last I meandered over to this blog...

*Today was Family Lunch Day.

*I like Family Lunch Day.  I get to visit with family and Mommy Sheep buys my lunch.

*This will be my last FLD for a while given that the state has decided I should go back to educating its children next month and the lunch thing generally occurs whilst I am laboring away in the salt mines.

*Another reason to curse the end of summer vacation...

*Looking forward to this year's ever-so-slight pay raise, though.

*It is the time of year when I suddenly discover just how much I've enjoyed summer vacation and how many August financial obligations I've managed to forget while I was doing it.

*Tuesday brought the annual Visit With The Cat Whisperer.

*Last year we didn't see TCW.  We saw another vet.

*She was not popular with Da Boyz.

*TCW is kind of an odd duck, but I bend to public opinion under certain circumstances.

*Da Boyz love TCW.  Deeply.  Passionately.  Embarrassingly so.

*First on the table was the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.

*Who, I am pleased to announce, is now the Appropriately Gi-normous Kitty.

*Low carb has agreed with him.  As has his brother's tendency to snitch his food from time to time...

*He also rocked his rabies vaccine.  I didn't even realize he'd had it, so calmly was it handled.

*Claw clipping, on the other hand, was less than delightful, but better than last year.

*No mask was used upon his tender snout and, unlike last year, TCW was able to clip all his claws as opposed to the three that we snagged in the previous visit.

*On the negative side we count his disgustingly lovey-dovey behavior towards the vet which involved chirping, cooing and nuzzling.  Not at all manly.

*Worse, his teeth have reached critical mass and cleaning is imperative.  They are in the "severe" stage of gingivitis.

*Frankly, I think he did it on purpose so he could go back for a visit.

*Next up, was the Very Complicated Kitty.

*Still fat.

*Probably still needs his anti-anxiety meds.

*Just waiting on the blood work to see if he can tolerate it.

*Speaking of blood work, are you familiar with the term, "Oh no, we just blew a vein?"

*It was no one's fault.  I was watching and, even to my eye, it was a good needle stick.  Some veins just prefer to leak as opposed to obediently gush from the needle into the designated container.

*The VCK handled it well, but there was flinching.  Flinching isn't good under these circumstances.

*Kitties who flinch end up in The Bag.

*With their little shaved leg sticking out.

*Worse, someone decided that The Bag should come in festive red and green so now you've got the world's most miserable Christmas present rolling around on the examination table.

*The Cat Whisperer was more heartbroken about the whole thing than he was but it had to be done lest I take home not only my cat but part of a hypodermic needle.

*He let her kiss him on the head when it was over so I think he understood...

*While all this was going on the AGK alternated from leaping happily onto the counter to nuzzle the struggling vet and opening the cabinets in search of cleaning supplies.

*I spent more at the vet yesterday than I will at my own doctor's appointment next week.

*I have a cleaning scheduled with my dentist the same week as the AGK gets his.

*Again, I shall undoubtedly spend more on his oral hygiene than mine own.

*I didn't go to the Farmer's Market today.  I had the lunch thing coming up and was cleaning my bedroom.

*Plus it was raining and I was feeling fragile.

*Over the past few years, my bedroom has become less a place of a repose and more of a repository.

*As much as I might have liked being the sole curator of the Fashion From The Eighties To Present exhibit, the pay wasn't enough to justify continuing.

*Seriously, there were clothes in the back of the closet that couldn't even be donated.  It would be a cruel jest to clothe the needy in my neon green 80's leggings.

*The needy would probably hunt me down and strangle me with my own Madonna-style lace gloves.

*Then they would finish the job by pummeling me with my burnt out crimping iron and I doubt a single soul would step in to assist considering that I actually owned a crimping iron and was willing to let others know about it.

*Obtaining a digital reading device has done wonders for decreasing the clutter around here.

*But I missed being able to use the library.

*It's been several years and more than a few local budget crises, but my teeny tiny local library finally managed to finalize membership with the state library.

*And that means....

*Free digital loans!!!

*The upside, of course, is the free access to books, both audio and wordy.

*The downside is limited availability since, apparently, others are also allowed to use this service.  Not just me.

*"Digital" doesn't mean "unlimited."  There are licenses and whatnot to consider.  Wait lists still apply for popular titles.

*That said, I've managed to do pretty well for myself over the last week.

*I listened to Damned over the weekend.

*And finished the audio version of House of Dark Shadows (Dreamhouse Kings) whilst in the car today.

*I also checked out a copy of Reaper Man for some actual reading of words on digital paper.

*The required app works beautifully on my iPad and Adobe Digital Editions lets me read it on my simple, but much beloved Kobo ereader.  

*Happy Sheepie.

*Although Sheepie can't help but wonder why this marvel couldn't have come unto her back in June when she had the whole summer ahead of her for reading.

*OTOH, I do most of my audio book enjoying during the school year when the forty minute commute requires entertainment.

*The prospect of spending less on said entertainment this school year might even take a little of the sting out of September...

*And, with the vehicle repair bill coming up fast on the heels of the vet extravaganza, I think it will be all to the good.



There's another week summed up.  The cats have recovered nicely from yesterday's adventure and appear to have forgiven me for the bad parts.  (They never blame The Cat Whisperer.  No matter how bad it gets, she's always the good guy in this situation)  With a free lunch in my belly and free books on my digital devices, I think I'm in good shape here.

And who knows?  Maybe August will be extended this year and lacy Madonna gloves will make a comeback...

SA

Frantically Not Finishing, Orange Nails And Squash

Boy, these Wednesdays surely do sneak up on me!  Even on a day when I know perfectly well that it is midweek, I still find myself leaping off the couch in a panic when I realize that it is past time to compose another Wednesday Night Bullet Post.

I suppose it's the whole "end of summer" thing that is making me feel like each day is one of the last during which I can do anything of any real import.  It is also the time when I realize that I haven't done half the stuff I swore I was going to accomplish during the endless days of summer.  I tend to get a little frantic.  I try to cram as many projects as humanly possible into the day and, before I know it, night has fallen.  I tumble into bed, exhausted from not really finishing anything because I need to get my rest if I am going to get up tomorrow and not do it all over again.

The WNBP sometimes gets lost in the shuffle...

However, I somehow managed to remember it and I don't want to waste any more time with flustered excuses.  You never know when the urge to re-tile the bathroom will suddenly overcome me and posting will, once again, be forgotten.

*Niece Sheep has promised us a baby soon.

*She is doing her best but, as I understand it, the infant needs to be on board with the whole thing as well.

*Great Niece Sheep is not going to be an easy child, I fear.  I look forward to seeing how things work out in her teen years given her lack of cooperation thus far.

*In my day, contractions and whatnot meant childbirth.  There was none of this "oh, I'll be there when I get there and you can't do anything about it" nonsense.

*Kids today...

*Nothing to do but wait.

*And no.  I still haven't finished that baby blanket.

*Don't judge.  I've decided it is a Christmas gift.

*In fact, I have decided that this is what it was going to be all along so everything is just fine here, thank you very much.

*I painted my nails a vivid shade of orange today.

*Internet was down.

*Stuff happens when the Internet is down.  Sometimes it is the total breakdown of society.

*Other times it is orange fingernails.

*My iPad is so used to the missing wifi that it has started automatically defaulting to the neighbor's signal.

*This does not bode well for my continued subscription to this particular service.

*There was a bit of a heat 'n humidity situation at the end of last week.

*In my current state of August related panic, I saw this as the ideal opportunity to put up six quarts of beef stew.

*I know.  I need help.  The professional kind that requires insurance.

*According to every social media outlet ever invented there seems to be a great deal of distress over NBC's coverage of the Olympics.

*I think I can help with that.  Just repeat after me:

*It's sports.  Who cares?

*I haven't seen a single second of the Olympics and I am not the least bit distressed over delayed broadcasts.

*Somehow, I doubt that is going to really soothe anyone, but I figured it was worth a shot.

*You know, my orange fingernails look quite funky-fresh against the keyboard...

*There were the cutest little patty pan squash at the farmers market today.

*I bought a couple, unable to resist their pie-like shape.

*For dinner tonight, I layered slices of fresh, mild onions and squash in a baking dish, dotted it with butter and sprinkled it with fresh basil.

*Before baking, I sprinkled it with just the barest hint of Parmesan cheese so as not to overwhelm the delicate flavor of this summer delight.

*It came out of the oven looking beautiful.  I admired it for a full minute.

*Then I ate it slathered in ketchup because, in the end, squash is just a damned vegetable and needs all the help it can get.

*I think I was kind of irritated because, in spite of its shape, patty pan squash is not at all like pie.

*I don't have any pie, nor did I want pie until the whole squash thing.

*I downloaded my copy of Odd Apocalypse: An Odd Thomas Novel over the weekend.

*And finished it yesterday.

*The last few books in this series don't have quite the emotional impact that the first three did but this was still one of the best books I've read in a long time.

*And there is this one moment, right towards the end, that is everything Odd Thomas is about.

*I sat up and cried, "YES! This is awesome!!  Do it!"

*Then fell back and moaned, "No, no, no!  You mustn't!!!"

*A mere sentence later, I squealed, "Seriously...you'd be an idiot to not go for it, Oddie!"

*I had barely passed the punctuation mark before admonishing, "Some things are just wrong...you know that.  If you do this, you will regret it for the rest of your life and then some, given the nature of your interesting existence."

*A fantastic moment for followers of this series.  Just fantastic.

*My only complaint is that the book had to end and that I was stupid enough to read it so quickly.

*I've been eyeing A Madness of Angels for a while now.  Along with lots of other titles, though.

*Since I paid full price for the new release of Odd Thomas, I decided that this less expensive digital book would be a more responsible thing to purchase.

*I've not gotten too far so I can't really pass judgement yet, but it seems pretty good.

*Kind of hard to follow, but that may due to my having gotten so used to the rhythm of the Odd Thomas' narration.

*I'll keep you posted...


As enamored as I am with the sight of my orange fingertips typing merrily away, I am starting to find this chair a bit uncomfortable.  Besides, the resident felines have begun their Dinner Time Chorus and I probably also should go see if there is a baby related text somewhere on my new phone.  This is as good a spot as any to wrap this thing up, I think.

Besides, that bathroom isn't going to re-tile itself before tomorrow morning, now is it?  And I suddenly have the urge to bake a pie...

SA

WNBP: Where Did August Come From???

I honestly don't know how we got here.  One minute, I was merrily going about my summer vacation and the next...AUGUST!!!

I am always a little sad when August rolls around.  It is still summer and there is certainly ample vacation time left unto me, but the clock is ticking.  I have to adjust my whole mindset.  It isn't as if I just stroll back into the classroom come September 1st and begin teaching with gusto.  Teaching, with or without gusto, requires a great deal of planning.  Everything I do from this point forward is going to be tinged with a hint of education and I can't understand how it got to be that way so fast.

Whatever happened to July, I ask you?  Shouldn't there have been a whole month between "Yay, I'm done with this working business" and "Where did I put my respectable shoes?"

Meh.  There isn't anything to be done about it.  August is here and I might as well get used to it.  It probably won't last any longer than stupid July did, anyway.

Let's celebrate the first Wednesday night of the month with a bullet point post and pretend that time isn't moving at something like warp speed...

*Yesterday, I bought a new case for my new phone.


*Cost more than the actual phone.


*There is a lesson in there somewhere, but I am too tired to look for it now.


*Also bought an external battery because I have a little issue with remembering to charge my cell phone.


*It is a disability, I think.  But it isn't covered by any sort of insurance I have unearthed.


*Now as long as I remember to charge the external battery, everything will be hunky dory!!!


*There were eggplants at the Farmers Market today.


*Eggplants!


*Visions of fried eggplant virtually danced in my head and, before I knew it, several of the purple buggers were in the car with me.


*The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach called to see if I wanted to "do something" today.


*I think it is good to periodically put on mascara and wear something other than yoga pants so I said, "yes."


*We went shopping and had Chinese food.


*For the record, going to Chinese food restaurants with TWGSALC is interesting.  She speaks Chinese.


*I do not speak Chinese.


*While I do not believe that people of a certain ethnicity always know others of their same background within their geographical area, it certainly does seem that TWGSALC knows a lot of Chinese people.


*I have no idea what anyone is talking about when we go out for lunch, but I enjoy myself all the same.


*We get extra hot and sour soup which is also really good.


*Note: TWGSALC is very careful to switch to English as quickly as possible when I am around.  She says it is the polite thing to do


*I did not make fried eggplant for dinner tonight.  I am still stuffed full of soup and chicken and pork and broccoli and cabbage.


*I don't think that piling eggplant on top of that, fried or otherwise, would be beneficial to the environment.


*I vowed to not spend any money today, what with having shopped yesterday.


*When we entered Ye Olde Girly-Girly Bath Shoppe Of Frou-Frou things, I honestly thought I was safe.


*But I left with thirty two dollars worth of lip balm and assorted fragrant things so obviously there was a chink in my armor...


*Query: Does anyone else think it is weird that the Very Complicated Kitty jumped up on the counter yesterday, picked apart my sandwich (that I only left for a second) in order that he might abscond with....a tomato slice?


*Tomato????


*I could see if he wanted meat.  Or the bun.  Heck, even the cheese might make some sense.


*But...a tomato?


*I shooed him from the kitchen, picked the mangled slice up from the floor and resolved to guard my lunch more carefully from this point forward.


*For the record, however, I do not feel like tomatoes are things that require protection from cats.


*I've hidden the eggplant.


*And I worry about what is going to happen once August is done and I'm not here to personally watch over the produce.


*I don't love everything that Dean Koontz puts out there, but the Odd Thomas series is a definite favorite.


*You can imagine my joy at learning he has a new one coming out this month.


*Something to make August worthwhile...


*I figured I'd break down and read the serialized novella he put out a while ago to celebrate.


*I generally find serialized novellas kind of irritating, but what are you gonna do?


*Odd Interlude #1 (An Odd Thomas Story) is, I believe, available through download only.


*Worth it if you happen to have an ereader. And now you can get the whole thing instead of having to wait for another installment to be published.


*The Odd Thomas series plays fast and loose with the rules of good storytelling.  The author breaks the third wall and directly addresses the reader.  He reveals some of the underpinnings of the story and almost guarantees you won't be surprised by anything.


*But you are surprised and not always pleasantly so, at least in the long form novels.  Every single character is engaging beyond belief and you can't help but hope things are going to work out for them.


*And, when they do, you cheer.


*Koontz writes dialogue better than almost any author I've ever read.  Witty, sharp and quick.


*Since the new book won't be out for a bit, I figured I'd give The Hunter (The Legend Chronicles) a shot.


*A bit of a Steampunk change-up.  Generally, these sorts of stories take place in more urban areas and you can almost always count on everyone having a British accent.


*This one takes place in the old west and, thus far, I've only noted one Brit.  Kind of a nice change of pace and who doesn't love a clockwork horse?


*The downside is that it is a little bit too much with the lovey-dovey stuff.  


*I get it.  Emotionally stunted demon hunter falls for the succubus with a heart of gold.


*Now show me some zombies, dang it all!!!


*Or at least make the horse run around with steam coming out of its nose once or twice.


*That said, it is a nice little story with some cool steampunk elements.  


*Also a cheap download which is good since I spent all that money at the frou-frou store and don't see a raise in pay until September rolls around.


*No extra money in August, I fear.  And there is a vet appointment coming up.


*I'll probably have to spend the rest of this month dragging the VCK to nutritionists and therapists in order to deal with his tomato obsession.


*Which will, undoubtedly make the month seem longer, but not in a good way at all.


So that should cover things for now.  I must now head off to enjoy what is left of this Wednesday and prepare myself for Thursday.  That will be the 2nd of August.  Which precedes the 3rd.  And so on and so on...

How did it get here so fast???

SA

WNBP: The Apple Of My Eye

Greetings and a happy Wednesday to all.  I say that with an inordinate amount of optimism given that my internet connection is a bit dicey at the moment.  In all likelihood, I will not be able to even publish this due to my having heaved a router out the window.  That will probably be followed by a keyboard and a monitor if it gets to that point.

It is a shame, really.  I have lots of good things to report this week and it surely would be nice to share.  I suppose I should take a nice deep breath, channel my inner patient person and just give it a go.  Perhaps the internet will allow me a Wednesday Night Bullet Post given the circumstances.

If not, then you can read all about me on the news.  If nothing else, you will have received an update of sorts...

*Niece Sheep had me a bit nervous with her premature labor, but things settled down in time for us to pull off her baby shower last Saturday.


*No.  I did not finish the baby blanket.


*For those of you who spend your sleepless nights wondering if Sheepie still knits, rest assured.


*I do.


*I even finished a couple of things in time to gift my soon-to-be-great-niece.


*I am not really a Baby Person.


*I find babies perplexing and lacking in conversational skills.


*That said, I almost came undone when I finished these:

Wee, darling little baby hats!

*I had a brief moment of complete cute overload and only came to myself after having Googled "fertility treatments for the very old and desperate."


*Thankfully, common sense returned before I did anything crazy.


*Sadly the skull buttons I planned for the baby sweater were too small and I had to go with the butterflies instead.

I guess it was for the best...

*Having not really done much in the way of needlework lately, I went with a the simplest of patterns.


*The shower guests were all non-knitters so I looked pretty brilliant in spite of it all.


*My niece asked me if, after knitting for two boys, I was glad for a change in color schemes.


*I hate to admit it, not being much of a pink type, but I really did enjoy this!


*Sweaters and hats...probably not going to be the most useful of things now.


*Baby is coming early.  There is no doubt about it.


*I am thinking good thoughts for an early and frigid autumn.


*Or the rampant use of air conditioning.


*I had to be quick at the Farmers Market this morning.


*I was expecting a package and didn't want to miss the truck.


*I meant to get some fruit, but I forgot what with all the excitement.


*I just got the tomatoes and green beans.


*Then I sat at home staring at the driveway.


*Looking for trucks.


*And wishing I had some fruit...


*My life is kind of powered by the good people at Apple.


*Computer?  Mac.


*Tablet?  iPad.


*Mp3 player?  iPod.


*But my cell phone?  Blackberry.


*Wrong fruit.


*I've been wanting to get an iPhone for a long time.  It really made sense considering the overall operating systems here.


*But they are spendy and sometimes a girl has to be practical.


*Even my wireless carrier was concerned about my old, clunky 2G phone.


*At least one would assume that considering the amount of email and snail mail I was getting from them urging an upgrade before I became utterly obsolete.


*I don't spend a lot of money on cell phones.  And I tend to get a little clingy with them.


*I also forget to charge them so it is really kind of a useless thing upon which to spend my hard earned cash.


*I always charge my iPod because it has my sounds of relaxation app on it and I can't sleep without that.


*A charged iPod does little good when a person is stranded on the highway and the zombie apocalypse has begun.


*That, in and of itself, was reason to by an iPhone.


*Which I did, but don't be too impressed.  I stuck to my miserly ways.


*It is the old 3G model that you can get for pretty much nothing.


*I think you can even find them in cereal boxes now...


*Still better than my old phone and I'm pretty sure I will charge it more regularly.


*Now I can sleep to the sounds of nature while the phone charges and be fully prepared for the undead hordes come morning.


*I really enjoyed reading Blood and Bullets (Deacon Chalk: Occult Bounty Hunter).


*It is rough and I can see where some people found it to be a bit unpolished, but I felt that added to the charm.


*There is a great line in the second chapter about how stakeouts are really boring because you can't knit or anything.


*Deacon Chalk doesn't knit.  I'm certain of that.  He was probably being ironic or something.


*But still a great line...


*I love urban fantasy and, oddly enough, prefer the stories with a male protagonist.


*Hard to find nowadays, what with the genre being more focused on the female fighters for good these days.


*I've been meaning to read Chimera for a while now.  I like Rob Thurman's other novels.


*I just never got to it.


*Until I ran out of other options.  Then I did.


*Really good stuff.  The writing is much more crisp than in the Cal Leandros series given that the narrator is a bit older, I think.


*I liked it so much that I read it in a day and picked up the next one immediately.


*I'd link to that title if the internet was cooperating at the moment, but it is not.


*The internet apparently prefers us to be illiterate and capable only of texting.


*Actually, I don't think the internet really feels that way but I was starting to get that pesky urge to fling routers and needed to vent a bit lest disaster strike.


*This may be a good time to wrap it up, now that I think of it.


*Perhaps the whole slow connection deal is a sign that things could always get worse.



So, on that note, I shall spell check this sucker and see about saving it in forty seven different places lest I lose it.  I'm certain that the internet will eventually sort itself out.  It should.  It is the least it can do for me.

I did, after all, feed it several Apples today...

SA

WNBP: Move Or Melt

We've been experiencing some rather hot and humid weather over here in my corner of the globe.  This has resulted in an overwhelming desire to simply lie on the sofa and give up.  The fact that melting into the sofa cushions is a distinct possibility doesn't matter a whit.  Melting is a easier when the humidity is so thick that walking to the fridge to get a glass of water is like traveling through gelatin.

You kind of just give up the will to remain cohesive.

I fought it, though.  I did my best to ignore the steamy conditions and keep moving.  I figure that walking through viscous air burns more calories.  That should justify the amount of ice cream I've been eating lately.

Here's what I've been up to in Wednesday Night Bullet Post format:

*I already mentioned the heat.


*And I think I may have also touched upon the humidity.


*It really wasn't all that bad until the last couple of days, truth be told.  I think that I'd used up the last bit of cold air by then and there was nothing left but sticky stuff.


*I held up better than the fan in the back bedroom, though.


*It did its best but I felt like it might be time to retire it.


*Pieces of the grill kept falling off and clattering around in a most alarming fashion.


*That is a key fan here at the manse.  It is in the room that has shade and that is the coolest air available.


*I need a fan that isn't consuming itself on a regular basis.


*Bought a new fan today.  Fans are popular right now, but there were plenty to go around.


*I guess there wasn't much call for non-self-destructing-box-fans-to-go-in-shady-windows...


*The weather people say that the heat will break tonight and temps will fall markedly.


*I plan on sleeping on the lawn in my underwear.  That seems perfectly reasonable and I would be willing to bet that there will be loads of people doing it.


*Met the parents and several other Sheepish relatives for the monthly family lunch today.


*The retired folk get to go all the time.


*The non-retired folk get to go in the summer.


*Excellent lunch and I always enjoy getting to go places where I am the youngest person at the table.


*I am a woman closer to 50 than 40 and I refuse to apologize for enjoying the little things these days.


*It also amuses me to hear my mother tell my great aunt that she will remind her about the next scheduled luncheon through Facebook.


*Mommy Sheep was on FB long before I.  She is cooler.  I accept that.


*I went to the Farmers Market last week.


*I bought cucumbers.

Which, logically, had to become relish.

*OK.  It is reasonable to think that a single person might not need 7 half pints of relish.  Very reasonable, in fact.


*But I like relish and I maybe went a little overboard buying cucumbers so there you go.


*I went to the Farmers Market again today.


*I bought carrots, potatoes and tomatoes.


*I did not buy cucumbers.


*I also made some more plum sauce while I was canning last week.  Remember when I made that back in April?


*I gave one to The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach as a hostess gift and proceeded to scarf down the rest myself.


*Plums went on sale last week.  Seemed like a good time to make more sauce...


*We have accepted that my niece is going to have her baby kind of early.


*I have further accepted that I am not going to finish that baby blanket in time.  There is only so much time in the day and only so much limberness in the digits.


*I did not do a gauge swatch for this blanket.  I did not do this because it is a blanket.  An inch or two either way doesn't matter on a blanket.


*I was off by a heck of a lot more than an inch or two.


*Now, in order for this blanket to be in proportion, I need to knit a lot more than I figured.


*The baby shower is Saturday.


*The mother-to-be insists on randomly going in and out of labor.  I find this disconcerting and highly inconvenient.  And what baby wants to be born in this ridiculous heat and humidity anyway???


*I've done the math.  I've considered all the variables.


*I'm not going to finish the blankie on time.


*Good thing I screwed up the gauge.  Now Baby G can take it to college and it should fit a dorm bed nicely.


*It is like I planned it all along!


*I'd already ordered my lunch today when I was struck with a horrible realization.


*I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.


*If I am going to be stepping on a scale in front of real live humans, then today's meal planning really needs to be carefully considered.  I virtuously removed my chicken from the bun that surrounded it and limited my cole slaw consumption.


*That said, I still ate all my fries.


*If worst comes to worst, I can always "accidentally" bump into the scale, causing it to crash to the floor or perhaps out a handily located window.


*Or maybe I've melted enough to justify the french fries...


*I stopped on the way to the restaurant to purchase buttons for the baby sweater that I kinda-sorta-closer-than-the-giant-blankie-anyway-finished.


*If putting skull buttons on a baby sweater is wrong, I don't wanna be right.


*I'll fight anyone who tells me different!!!


*They are pink (ish) so it will all be fine.


*I've been somewhat stymied with reading material of late, but I did find a good one to share with you.


*The Doomsday Vault: A Novel of the Clockwork Empire.


*Stumbled across it as a recommendation during a desperate cruise through Amazon.


*Very good.  A few folks seemed to have some problems with it and I will admit to a bit of repetition regarding the protagonist's background early on in the story.


*But, overall, I was very pleased with it!


*There are zombies, but they are the Not Dead, Just Sickly variety.


*Hence they seem more pitiful than scary.


*Frankly, I was intrigued by the idea of plague-induced "Clockworkers."


*There is a sequel, but I don't have it yet.


*Will let you know if I do.


*Gonna give Blood and Bullets (Deacon Chalk: Occult Bounty Hunter) a try first.


*Frankly,it will be pleasant to read anything while resisting the melting effect.


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a somewhat comprehensive list of the things I have done to avoid becoming a puddle.  The trick is to just keep moving and not let the desire to give up and just start dripping get the better of you.  It also helps to have things like relish and lunch with family to look forward to.

Failing that, a good and intact fan is always inspirational...

SA