WNBP: A Clean Sweep. And Mopping. And Dusting.

Oh this should be a good Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  I am following my usual pattern of summertime insomnia: issues at the start/issues at the end.  If I managed two hours of snooze time last night, I'd be shocked.

First I was too hot.  Then I was too cold.  Then I couldn't stand to be in the bed and had to get up.  This, of course, caught the attention the resident felines and scrambled their simplistic understanding of feeding times.  For the record, just because I get out of bed, this doesn't mean it is time for breakfast.  By the time, I was ready to hit the sack again, they were frisky as all get-out and racing about like graceless dervishes.

This went on for most of the night.  I would imagine my downstairs neighbors are less than thrilled.  I'd feel badly about that, but I am too tired to work up a good care.

I'm just going to head right into this week's bullet points and let them take me where they may.  Apologies in advance for any lack of clarity.  And trust me.  There will be a lack of clarity.  I fail to see how it can go any differently right now.

*I made brownies today.

*I know what you're thinking:  Sheepie!  Brownies on a Wednesday?  That is just wrong on so many levels!!!

*I have been doing a great deal of housecleaning lately.

*And I don't mean "straightening up and a little light dusting."

*I mean "heavy duty cleaning that involves gloves and squirming underneath furniture."

*The whole thing started with the smoke detector.

*A couple of weeks ago, the combination of steam from the bathroom and the already humid weather conditions set off the smoke alarm several times.

*Hint:  It is really a heat detector.  And it really hates my bathroom being right next to it.

*I really hate it, too.  Even more, I hate that my smoke detector is wired into the electrical system.

*It was going off so often on this particular Sunday morning, that I actually ended up flipping the breaker to reset it.

*This was harder than you think since the breaker box is located behind my bedroom door and I've stored quite a bit of stuff in that general and somewhat hidden area over the years.

*Then I got to thinking, "Gosh, what if there was an emergency and they needed to get to the breaker box?  I'd be just mortified if anyone saw my storage area!  I should move all that to the closet where it will be out of the way and invisible to prying eyes trying to locate my breaker box."

*That would have been a good plan save for the fact that I was already storing stuff in the bedroom closet.  And under the bed.  And in every other closet, nook, cranny and corner of the manse.

*I've lived here a long time.  I found myself visiting stuff I haven't seen since I was a young slip of a girl with my whole life ahead of me and lots of shopping to do.

*Apparently, I have shopped quite a a bit over the years.

*We are two weeks into The Great Purge of 2012.  It has sort of been a "one thing leads to another" kind of deal.

*You clean one area and suddenly another looks dingy.  Next thing you know, you are scrubbing down the bathroom walls and wondering exactly when things got so completely out of hand.

*I have removed approximately twenty bags of stuff from this place.

*Big bags.  Contractor sized bags, in some cases.  We can only hope that the condo association spies don't have someone watching the dumpster because I'm not entirely certain I'm supposed to use it for this level of purging...

*I haven't gone to the Farmer's Market for two weeks straight.

*I was going to go today.  Made it as far as the grocery store and that was all I could stand.

*Two hours of sleep is kind of like being intoxicated, sick and stupid all rolled into one.

*That said, two weeks is too long to forgo my regular Visit With The Vegetables so I am going to have to suck it up and go on Saturday.

*I hate going on Saturday.  The other humans are there.  They get in my way and hog all the good tomatoes.

*Early yesterday evening, I heard Christmas music.  Being that this is August, I found that odd.

*Even more disturbing, however, was the fact that it was coming from my own computer.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty somehow managed to open iTunes with his hindquarters and send out a little holiday cheer.

*This is alarming and could possibly account for the insomnia situation, now that I think of it...

*Yesterday, was my absolute limit regarding my slow Internet speed.  I finally broke down and made the call for assistance.

*Step One:  Explaining a Mac.  And why I am not using any form of Windows.  And how they haven't updated their manuals since Apple put out version 10.8.

*And that my name isn't Kristy.

*A repair ticket was issued and I was assured that it was highly unlikely a home visit would be needed.

*Message on the machine today said a technician would be at my home sometime before 7:00 pm on Thursday.

*Internet is working rather well today.  Quite speedily, actually.  Debating whether I should cancel the tech, but I can't help but believe that the moment I do, the whole system will suddenly implode.

*The realization that a technician was coming to my home forced me to start cleaning the living room.

*I wasn't going to do that.  I was going to wait.

*But the amount of stitch markers and yarn snippets in the general area of the router made me rethink that plan.

*Have we gotten to the point where we forgive me for eating brownies on a Wednesday yet?  I mean, I was crawling around the wires and dust bunnies for over an hour, people!!!

*I have used my library card more in the last couple of weeks than in the past ten years, I think.

*Yay for finally being able to get digital library loans!

*I started reading Perdido Street Station.

*It is very good.  Very, very good.  Exceptional, really.

*But I found it disturbing.  I could see it going to a dark, dark place.

*With the insomnia situation and my new found obsession regarding people judging my storage habits, I decided that this was the wrong time to read that book.

*Returned it with a click of the mouse and checked out The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove instead.

*I read the first book in this series years ago.  That one wasn't available to refresh my memory, but I figured I'd catch up.

*Lighthearted and inappropriate in all the right ways.  A good choice for my sleep deprived brain!

*And, as it was a quick read, I was able to head right into The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror without missing a beat.

*Except for the times when I was crawling around rescuing dpns and cable needles from the dust bunnies, that is...

*I don't love all of Christopher Moore's stuff, but he does have a witty way about him.

*If you are OK with a great deal of irreverence.

*Which I am.

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant loves Christopher Moore.  She went to Boston to hear him speak last spring.

*I wish we were going to be working together this year so I could tell her I read about the Lust Lizard and the Stupid Angel.  Maybe I can email her...

*God, I'm tired.  And I am itchy and sneezy from all the dust I've battled today.

*And, if I'm being perfectly honest, I really kinda, sorta want another brownie.


That is probably my cue to close this down for the night.  Once you start yawning, itching and craving carbs, there is little hope for further blog sense.  With any luck, I'll be able to convince my brain to power down tonight and the sandman will come for a visit.  I could really use some sleep right about now.  I'd welcome that particular guest with open arms.

If sleep cannot be had, I guess I could invite Mr. Sandman in for a brownie and show him my very organized storage areas.  That could be fun, too...

SA