Wednesday, April 04, 2012

WNBP: Gee, Let's Make This Week Even Longer!

The post title is meant to be read sarcastically.  Very sarcastically.  It has not been a particularly stellar week at the Learn-a-matorium and I think that if someone were to tell me that the government recently decided to make the week longer I might actually break down and do something drastic.  Like eat broccoli or watch educational television.

I think that I'm going to go after the bullet points hard this week. I know for a fact that some happy things have happened and the next two days depend upon me recalling and reflecting upon them.

*I know this has been a bad week because the police officer who provides security for our school pats my shoulder encouragingly every time he sees me now.  He makes that "I's OK" scrunchy face at me, too.

*Furthermore, he didn't shoot me when I asked which was probably very kind of him given that I was indirectly involved in the scenario that led to the radar equipment being damaged in his cruiser.

*If that wasn't enough to make me understand the gravity of this week, Mr. Assistant Principal found me slumped on the front desk this afternoon and ordered the secretary to make reservations at the finest restaurant in town in order that he might treat me to an all expense paid dinner.

*I didn't fall for it.  I know that it was code for "I am going to get her into my truck then lull her into a false sense of security so she won't struggle when I boot her out for curbside pick up at the Local Loony Bin.

*The school social worker keeps asking me "how I am feeling today" and everyone else is giving me those cautious glances you cast towards people who look like they are going to start eating the light fixtures.

*I am also hearing a lot of, "I couldn't do what you do...I just don't know how you manage to keep going day after day after day after day..."

*School vacation is less than two weeks away.  I am going to hold on until then or die trying.

*Last Thursday, I was only a day away from having to make a decision regarding where I want to work next year.

*I told Mr. Principal about my dilemma and he asked me to stay.

*Actually, he sang it, but you get the idea.

*He sings a lot.  It's his "thing."  He knows a song for everything.

*I told him I would stay if he got me a pony.  I was raised to believe that the acquisition of a pony is the highest level of Getting Stuff so it seemed like a logical request.

*On Friday morning, I was summoned to the main office and made to wait.  Every administrator in a six mile radius was called in and I was sure I'd gone too far.  I was being fired.

*Not so.

Mr.  Principal got me a pony.

*I'm staying at the middle school.  I'd actually already accepted the position.

*The job they are offering me will, in all likelihood, result in less of the police involvement.

*I look forward to that...

*Plus there was also a giant chocolate pony head in the bag from a local purveyor of fine candies.

*I've been known to put out more for less...

*I have a gigantic crack in my windshield.  And it is growing.

*Probably should get that taken care of.

*I'll add it to my to-do list.

*Best student line of the week, courtesy of Little Einstein:

Actually, yes.  It IS hard being right all the time.  I have to spend hours every night telling my family everything they are doing and saying wrong and that takes a lot of talking.  My throat gets really dry.

*The funniest part is that he wasn't actually trying to be funny.  He really does spend an inordinate amount of time sharing his incredibly correct opinions on any and all subjects.  I would imagine that he needs to drink a lot of water.

*Da Boyz have decided that 4:30 is the new Best Time To Awaken.  They are embracing this new philosophy with enthusiasm.

*I do not care for that level of feline enthusiasm at 4:30 in the morning.  I steadfastly ignore them.

*Today, they started the bed jumping and yowling at 4:15 just to ensure that I got the point.

*I have tried to explain to them that I am having a Very Bad Week, but I don't see any evidence of them taking that into consideration.

*Yesterday, I took a couple of the boys in my class down to the pond near our school to watch the tadpoles.

*Huge, mutant tadpoles.  Swimming about in the spring sunshine while the breezes blew gently upon our wondering faces.

*Very peaceful...

*Both boys almost missed their bus and The Cheerful Teaching Assistant thought I'd been kidnapped.

*There was a bit of a ruckus until everyone got on the right bus and the CTA was assured that I hadn't taken off for parts unknown, leaving her to hold down the fort.

*She knows I wouldn't come back from my kidnapping at this point.  I'd hide the ransom money and offer to provide light housekeeping services if only my captors would consider keeping me on for a little while longer.

*Hey!  I found a new book!  A very promising beginning to a new series!

*Fated (An Alex Verus Novel)

*Yes.  There is something of the New Author Immaturity in evidence.

*Breaking the fourth wall is a no-no, I think.  A bit more aggressive editing might have helped.

*But the premise is really quite brilliant and the overall effect of the prose is good.

*Looking forward to more stories featuring Alex Verus!

*Also finished the audio version of Dreamcatcher.

*Not Mr. King's best, but a pretty good listen overall.

*Now I'm listening to Magic Street.

*I'm less than an hour in so I can't really offer up an opinion yet.

*But a very promising start, that's for certain!

*And a long enough novel to get me through the daily commute until school vacation.

*If I last that long.  It's still kind of a toss up there...

You know what?  Talking about the pony, my new position for next year and a couple of new books kind of helped.  Sure, this week isn't playing out well and I see no real hope for brighter times before Friday rolls around, but I think I can hang in there.  It's only a couple more days, right?

Unless that whole Longer Work Week thing suddenly comes to pass...



Cleta said...

I hope the rest of your week goes better. Remember "The Ransom of Red Chief", by O Henry? Might want to read that one again to get some tips on how to be that kidnap victim...

Teri S. said...

I wonder if this whole job stress thing isn't related somehow to Mercury being in retrograde. At least you have to wait only 2 weeks before a vacation. And you got a pony! And a chocolate pony head (although that sounds little too much like something out of The Godfather).

Hang in there!

=Tamar said...

Mercury isn't in retrograde any more, as of April 4th. Some people say the side effects continue a while but I am resolutely refusing to believe it.

Chocolate anything is good. Even pony heads. Besides, the godfather thing was a horse head, not a pony.

Donna Lee said...

What a smart principal. How can you turn down a man who buys you a Pony?

Bob & Phyllis said...

I am DYING over here!! What a great principal. All the ones in my area had their sense of humor removed when they were kids...

I am in awe of your teaching skills. I teach applied arts (music lessons, now martial arts), and some days it's all I can do not to rip their arms off and beat them to death with them.

Keep blogging. My Thursdays are always brighter with your WNBPs.

Anonymous said...

Is Easter on different days where you are? We get a long weekend [four (4) days long] because of bunnies, lambies, martyred saints, chicks, and dyed eggs.


kmkat said...

YOU GOT A PONY! AND CHOCOLATE! Clearly your Mr. Principal knows what he's got with you -- a star who deserves star treatment. Actually, he sounds like a bit of a winner, too.

I'm so glad your job next year will have fewer dealings with law enforcement. You seem to have awfully stressed the past couple school years; no one should have to deal with that for too long. Does this mean you might blog more often next year? (hint, hint)

Elaine said...

I have never understood how you do what you do.... and with humor! You deserve a pony and even more chocolate!

crzjane said...

Totally AWESOME! You got a PONY! I am so jealous!
Good for you, you deserve it. I could never in a million years do your job.

Julia G said...

Next time you'll have to double down and ask for a unicorn - a REAL unicorn! And a whole mariachi band of principals to woo you. Sounds like spring vacation can't come soon enough.