It is a dangerous time for those of us in the teaching profession. We are tired. We are weak. We have been beaten down by parent conferences, the weather and a marked increase in noncompliant classroom behavior. We are a fertile field for that which seeks to infect us.
Pretty much every teacher in my school is cowering under their desks whilst wielding a can of disinfectant. Those who aren't have already given up because they have been tagged by whatever mutant strain of The Dreaded Gloop is on the market and nothing really matters anymore.
I am currently between categories. I ache all over. My throat is sore and I sneezed yesterday. Since I always sneeze in even numbers, I am assuming that the second one isn't far behind. If it comes, then I know I am done for. If I can avoid it, then there might just be a chance.
Let's take a look at this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Points very quietly. I don't want to attract any undue attention...
*Last week was, quite literally, the worst week I think I have ever experienced as a professional type educator.
*Any job which requires a police presence is one I'm not sure I really think I can justify in my life.
*A job that requires it twice in one week is just some sort of Karmic slap in the face...
*This week seems a little quieter, but it might just be that I am so distracted by the whole Coming Of The Second Sneeze thing that I am not picking up on other stuff quite so well.
*I will not be sad to get my shiny new job next year. It isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination.
*But my perspective has changed with regard to "perfection" lately...
*Mr. Principal gifted me with a stuffed pony not long ago in an attempt to keep me at the middle school next year.
*I decided to try introducing Mr. Pony to Da Boyz so they could see how awesome I am and how far people are willing to go to keep me around.
|But then it just got awkward...|
*We have agreed not to speak of it again and the pony now lives in his stable full time.
*Stable=Propped on the love seat between some sheep.
*I have reached a decision.
*I need a better chair for computing purposes. This rickety old thing I'm using isn't good for my aging back.
*Rickety=Antique Dining Chair That I Loved Up Until I Had To Actually Sit On It For Any Length Of Time.
*I am starting to think that I might really need to get started on my taxes.
*Don't want to put it off until the last minute like I did last year.
*I haven't sneezed yet. In case you were wondering.
*I've snuffled. And coughed. And rubbed my aching sinuses.
*But I have not sneezed.
*I'll keep you posted.
*Strangest Conversation Of The Week Courtesy Of Little Einstein:
Little Einstein: Ms. Sheep?
Ms. Sheep: (snuffling but not sneezing) Yes, my little lamb?
LE: Can I call you BC?
MS: Why? That isn't anywhere close to my actual initials.
LE: I know. But I thought it would be cool to have code names.
MS: You know what? I think we will just stick with "Ms. Sheep" for now. Maybe when you get out of 6th grade, finish high school, graduate and we join forces as the newest super spy team...then it might be more appropriate for us to have cool code names.
LE: That's too bad. BC was a great name. It shows how old you are...
*I didn't even have the strength to beat him to death with his own spiral notebook.
*I have discovered the joys of stick-on nail polish. You just stick it on!!!
*And then you have paisley nails!!
*Which is awesome and gives everyone in every meeting you go to something to talk about.
*I thought I had a sneeze coming there for a second, but it went away.
*I'm still taking NyQuil tonight, though. Just on general principle.
*I had a half box of frosted Cheerios for dinner then chased it with a hearty helping of raspberry sorbet.
*I am a person who needs raspberry sorbet right now.
*Massive raspberry sorbet craving gripped me on the way home so I know I must need it.
*My bleary eyes have managed to read a bit lately.
* I finally to around to Doubletake: A Cal Leandros Novel (Cal and Niko)
*This is one of my all-time favorite series of novels.
*Apparently, I never outgrew my affection for angsty bad boys...
*I had to go back to revisit the last one I read to make sure I had everything straight.
*Now I'm re-reading Hammered: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Three
*Got to do the prep work before I pick up Tricked (The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Four)
*I like to do my homework. And remember what the heck was going on the last time I followed the antics of a snarky druid.
*Magic Street continues to entertain me in audio version while I slog through the daily commute.
*There are points where the story seems to drag a bit, but it still keeps me highly engrossed.
*Plus, it's not like I can put the book down. I have to stick with it. I'm in the car. Fiddling with the iPod whilst driving is a very bad idea, especially when one may or may not have a cold.
*I just coughed. That is not a sneeze.
*I am assuming that I do not have to tell you that last night was the premier of Deadliest Catch.
*If you did not already know that, then there is no hope for you. Just nod and smile at me while I giggle madly over my crab fishermen.
*Dear God, I need a new chair. This one is not working at all!!!!!
I think that might just be the sign that I need to wrap this up for tonight. If you are squirming around and trying to get comfy in a chair that once held our forefathers back in the days of yore, there really isn't anything left to do but head back to the couch. I wish you all a pleasant Wednesday and ask only that you send your good thoughts for my ongoing sneeze-free state.
Or that I just sneeze and get it over with. The waiting isn't really any better...