WNBP: Not What You'd Expect

OK.  I missed a week.  This, of course, represents a most unforgivable breach of Blogging Trust and I don't suppose for a minute that you'd consider forgiving me without at least a little of the dirty looking and finger waving.  Not a problem.  I deserve it.

I'm going to go ahead and hit you with a few bullet points while I wait out the shame.  Perhaps if I am entertaining enough, things will settle down more quickly.

*Yes.  I am fully aware of the fact that people have lives and that the petty goings on of one lone blogger doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this cold, cold world.


*It's just that I pretty much base most of my self esteem in the belief that the world awaits my every word with bated breath.


*I like to think that everyone was out there all worried about how I might be trapped in a snow bank last Wednesday because I live in the wilds of Maine and March is a pretty harsh month in these here parts.


*The reality is that I was trapped in a classroom during an 85 degree day and that the stifling heat didn't even dissipate once the sun went down and Parent/Teacher Conferences were in full swing.


*I didn't even have any conferences.  I was just stuck at school until 8:00 with only Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk to keep me company.


*Which isn't so bad because MSWSATBD is a hoot.


*I finally completed my computer set up here at the manse.  Got me a shiny new monitor and now I can blog like a real person rather than using the television as my screen!


*Well...mostly I can blog like a real person.  When the cats let me.  Apparently the comfy chair I set up and the warmly glowing screen is like a magnet for cats.


*Da Boyz take turns hogging the space.  And someone has been using the keyboard to enter search terms when I'm not looking.


*The last time I came back to the computer, the letter "r" was cryptically displayed.


*I do not know which feline was doing the searching nor do I know what he was looking for.


*Rifles?


*Revolvers?


*Raisins?


*It is all kind of disconcerting...


*And speaking of disturbing, here is a little snippet from last week that might help define for you just how far my life has devolved.  And why blogging just couldn't be expected of me.

The Time:  Early Afternoon

The Place:  A stifling middle school classroom where our beloved Ms. Sheep has reached her limit with trying to educate unresponsive and unapologetically disruptive students on a March day that feels like late June.

Ms Sheep (gesticulating wildly and sweating profusely as she has been doing for at least a full five minutes while her class looks on in utter disbelief):  ...and THAT is why I have had it with trying to educate you unresponsive and unapologetically disruptive students!  Now I am going to share with you why it is a bad thing to try the patience of a middle aged woman during a March heat wave!!!

(Suddenly, MS is struck dumb.  She freezes in place as a small hand begins rhythmically scratching her back and a youthful voice croons at her soothingly. She turns her head only enough to catch sight of Little Einstein who has somehow managed to sneak up behind her during the tirade)

LE:  There you goooooo.  It's Okaaaaaay.  You're all riiiiight...  Shhhhhh.....

MS:  ?????

LE:  (smugly)  And there you go.  Works every time.  The old people love this.

MS:  (begins to sputter uncontrollably)

LE:  (blithely unaware that his life is rapidly reaching the end point)  No, really.  One time, I did it to my grandmother and she fell right over!

MS: (unable to speak due to the pressure created by the expanding blood vessels in her brain)

LE:  And my 41 year old grandpa likes it, too!!


*There will be no further discussion regarding this matter.  I am just telling you about it so you will know of my trials.


*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant has been laughing herself sick over the whole sorry affair for a week straight.


*I'm not sure if I am more concerned about The Old Lady Issues or the fact that I let Little Einstein sneak up on me unexpectedly like that...


*A great wrong was done unto me at work recently.


*Not the aforementioned Old Person Scratching.  Something more along the lines of an administrative screw up.


*That was bad, but now people have to be nice to me.


*The stress situation at school has reached critical levels as the restructuring of the district rolls forward.


*Lots of people don't know where they are going yet.  They might stay put.  They might move to the high school.  They might have to change grade levels or subjects.  Everyone is all a-flutter as they await either their own fate or that of their peers.


*I don't know if it is the Be Nice To Ms. Sheep Protocol or just the luck of the draw, but I get to choose between three job sites and positions.


*For the record, they are not the sorts of jobs most people actually want, but that is sort of the nature of my career.


*Being told I could choose was unexpected.  Highly so.  I don't know of anyone else who gets to do that.





*Have to choose by Friday.  Little Einstein thinks I should stay with him.


*Or, as he put it, "Well, you either get Loud Kid or Loud Kids Who Smell Bad.  Seems kind of obvious to me..."

*Still not sure, but I promise to factor in the smell.


*In between bouts of laughing at me, The Cheerful Teaching Assistant has been trying to get me to read a book.  I didn't think it was going to be my cuppa, but she has pretty good taste and I was bored so I figured I'd give it a go.


*Lady of Devices: A steampunk adventure novel was brilliant!


*Even thought it had neither zombies nor werewolves...


*I downloaded Her Own Devices: A steampunk adventure novel immediately!!!


*With those complete, I felt ready to finally tackle Timeless (The Parasol Protectorate, No. 5).  Why I've been putting that off, I don't know.  I love this series.  It is smartly written and hysterically funny.


*Although I hear tell it is the last and that makes me sad.  


*One expects this sort of thing to continue forever and ever, after all.


*Half the characters are werewolves and the other half are vampires and only a quarter of the third half is even mortal at all.  It would seem to me that this would lend itself to a series that lasted longer.


*Especially with all that crazy math involved!


*Maybe I shouldn't take the job at the high school now that I think of it.  They might have higher expectations with regard to the math instruction.  


Well, I see by the clock on the wall and the gathering of felines that my time on the computer is just about up.  I only get about an hour and then I have to give up my chair.  I suppose I should see about some dinner and getting some clothing ready for tomorrow's day of teaching.  The weather seems to have turned towards something more "expected" and snow is falling randomly so it will probably take me a while to sort through the t-shirts and sandals before I find something appropriate.  I need to get back on track here.

And I promise to be more on top of the expected Wednesday Night Bullet Posts in the future!

SA