Wednesday, May 30, 2012

WNBP: It's A Numbers Game

The thing about long weekends is that, with Monday out of the way, Wednesday rolls around pretty darned quick. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.  The idea of a shorter work week is delightful. However, the day-count gets a bit muddled and I darned near lost track of myself before remembering the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.

While I'm fairly certain the world would have kept right on spinning had I not hit the blogging circuit, I still think it would have resulted in some confusion.  At least for me.  I really need Wednesday to keep me grounded, you see.

Let's take a gander at the Wonderful World Of Sheepie and tally up the events of which it is made:

*According to Deadliest Catch, King/Blue crab season managed to start and end with reasonably good crab counts for most.

*Not all.  Most.  That stupid Elliot couldn't seem to take a hint and, as such, wasn't anywhere near where he should have been come the season finale.

*That's what you get with a young, egocentric captain, right?

*Junior told him not to move.  He told him to be patient.  But did he listen?  No he did not.

*I felt rather smug about the whole thing so it's probably good I'm not a crab boat captain.

*All the other captains would hate me and my poor attitude and I'd never have anyone to talk to when I was bored at sea.

*I was awake at 6:00 Saturday morning.  That is early for a Saturday.

*But Memorial Day Weekend marks one of my favorite events: My parent's annual cookout and gathering of many, many relatives.

*Ribs are grilled, beans are baked and lemon bars are presented unto me.

*The least I can do is bake Cheesy Bread.

*Actually, it is not the least I can do.  It is the one thing I must do.  Seriously.  I can't even get in the door without it.

*I am not bragging when I say I make amazing Cheesy Bread.  I am stating a fact.  I know this because everyone has told me so it must be true.

*Again, the crab boat captains would just hate me...

*Whatever.  I was up at 6:00 on Saturday morning so I could bake 6 (count 'em SIX) loaves of bread and a dozen rolls.

*The rolls were kind of an afterthought but I was already hot and exhausted so I figured I might as well keep going with the carb production.

*I'm popular at the annual cookout.

*When I arrived with my 5 (count 'em FIVE) loaves of cheesy bread, there was great joy.

*Yeah, I kept one.  Don't judge.

*I also happen to think I make pretty good cheesy bread...

*If you come to my school, you will see a whole lot of adults wandering around muttering.

*The mutterings all involve a number of some sort.

*Today's numbers were 9 and 10.

*As in, "If I count today, I only have 10 days left."

*Or, "After today, I only have to get through 9 days without locking a child in the utility closet and my criminal record will remain unblemished for another year."

*At our weekly meeting, our director once again bemoaned the fact that we are getting out a week earlier this year and how little time we have left to get everything done.

*Crazy woman...

*That said, I don't see any way I'm going to get everything done but I'm still not requesting an extra week of school.

*I can't get anything done with the kids around.  They are needy and tend to hit each other with textbooks when I try to do paperwork or answer the five million phone calls that are coming in on a daily basis.

*Today, Little Einstein managed to get his entire body inside his t-shirt.

*To make room, he stuck his head out of his sleeve.

*"Look!" he cried. "I don't have armpit hair...I have armpit FACE!!!"

*He is really smart.  I swear it.  I've seen his test scores.

*I took a picture and sent it to his mother because she is the type to appreciate that kind of thing.

*Plus I think that all moms want something to put in the wallet and flash around for bragging rights.

*"Here is my son.  The genius.  Demonstrating the complicated concept of Armpit Face.  One day, he will win the Nobel Prize, I'm sure!"

*The Siren (who lures the boys to their doom with her clarion call) has gone completely on strike and is now only coming to school so I can read Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, Book 2) to her.

*She spends less time luring the boys to their doom if I comply so I do it.

*Things get horribly loud when the clarion call backfires and the males start infighting.

*I am never going to finish this book by the end of the year.  Much less the third in the trilogy.

*I've checked the numbers on this.  Pages vs. Days.  Hours vs. Words.

*Ms. Sheep's Patience vs. The Siren's Attendance Record And Time Spent Cooling Her Heels In The Office.

*Stuff like that...

*When I wasn't baking a truckload of bread this weekend, I was reading Eye of the Tempest (Jane True, Book 4).

*I wandered back towards this series recently and suddenly felt the need to find out what happens next.

*Good stuff, save for the author's tendency to overuse pop culture references.  

*Not a crime or anything.  It just tends to date a book and make it a little less "relevant" later on.

*That aside, I love the first person, heavy on the snark prose.

*I loves me some snark!

*Let's add that to the list of reasons all the crab boat captains will shun me.

*Does that put me up to three?  Four?  

*With the number of school days left down to single digits, I'm listing all the things I want to do this summer.

*If I count naps, learning Cantonese and ending world hunger, that list is longer than my arm.

*I'll probably manage the naps but the rest doesn't look good...

Yes, it certainly seems to be all about the numbers these days.  How many days of school are left.  How many of those days will include heat and/or humidity.  The length of my sentence should I give in to the urge to herd them all out the door and into the woods to fend for themselves...

Counting keeps it real.  And helps with the focus when all I really want to do is stay home, bake bread and watch my favorite crab boat captains once Opilio season starts.



trek said...

Wow, you guys get February vacation and Easter vacation and still get out so early?!

Elizabeth said...

Have you ever posted the recipe for your cheesy bread? (= I have a sudden and very strong hankering for cheesy bread and I think it may be your fault.

Donna Lee said...

I made cheesy biscuits for dinner last night. They were yummy. At a bbq on Sunday, my brother and his friend were talking about how they dont drink much beer anymore because of the "carbs" and I almost threw some macaroni salad at them. Life would not be worth living without the carbs.

Georgi said...

Elliot is an idiot and I bet he loses his boat, since the owner has already called him and threatened him.
BTW, i want cheesy bread, and would even make it, if I knew how :-)

April said...

Elliot looks like a crack head to me. I just wish Edgar would hurry up and ask me to marry him.

Julia G said...

I remember you posted your Cheesy Bread recipe, I'll have to try it this summer. If you want to try making the laziest bread ever (that makes a delicious ciabatta-like loaf), you could try Jim Lahey's "No-Knead Bread" - just mix it, cover it, ignore it for 18 hours, flop it over once or twice, bake in a Dutch oven and voilĂ :

And thank you once again for slogging away in the salt mines of the Learnamatorium - it may not feel like it some days, but without caring teachers like you there would be a lot of lost kids. My oldest son just graduated summa cum laude, double major, from a top university. I still have the psych evaluation from 6th grade which predicted he could not take timed standardized SAT tests (he got 2 standard-timed 800's) or be in mainstream high school classes (he was the valedictorian). Seriously. He still has plenty of quirks but thanks to caring teachers who did not get hung up on this or that diagnosis or deficit (and we all have them), he has exceeded all expectations and is headed for grad school. So sip that mug of hot tea with honey and keep reading the Hunger Games to the Siren, and don't be surprised if Little Einstein isn't splitting atoms at NASA in a few years, due in part to your efforts. Just sayin'.