WNBP: Tales From The Line

I'm pretty sure that my entire life can be reduced to a line right now.  I'm spending a lot of time waiting for stuff and a great deal of it involves standing in a row with other people who may or may not be as excited about the situation as I.  I'm also filling out a whole bunch of paperwork and signing on dotted lines, not to mention trying to toe the line in order that I don't get into trouble for ranting and railing against lines.

Lines are oppressive.  They are meant to create order, but I am kind of tired of them.  I'm looking forward to doing the Wednesday Night Bullet Post where I can happily meander from topic to topic and where the lines are only there for mocking.


*Today was the Cheerful Teaching Assistant's birthday.  She is learning that time marches forward in a somewhat linear fashion and that one's twenties are not an eternal sort of thing.


*Hence, it was really in my best interest to go buy her a cake.  A chocolate cake that is in total defiance of any and all dietary restrictions.


*I found a doozy.


*It was the envy of all the ladies on line at the Wal-Mart.


*I know this because they told me so.  We discussed this cake in depth.


*Using the wisdom of a cashier, three total strangers and my own input, it was decided that this cake needed to remain in my car for the night.


*None of us believed for one minute that it would last until morning if I brought it into my house.


*Seriously.  This cake was like a chick magnet!!!


*They are talking snow soon.  Like...really soon.


*Not a lot and it's probably not even going to happen, but it is making me think I should really finish those socks from five or six months ago.


*It's just that I don't want to do the heel.  If I could just cross that line, I'd be fine.


*Maybe when my feet get cold enough...


*Although I don't know why I bother.  My feet have started to puff up again in response to the last few nights of popcorn snacking.


*Swollen feet are a new phenomenon in my life and I am ill prepared for them.  I question whether my bloated hooves will cause my socks to explode in a shower of woolly bits.


*Any thoughts?  I'm genuinely curious about it.  If I am going to be known forever as She Of The Elephantine Tootsies, I'd like to dress part.


*Even if that means wearing duct tape socks.


*I could also probably just lay off the salty snacks but I don't want to do anything too drastic...


*The book situation has gotten a little off-track lately.


*I was reading some of the D. D. Barant books and thought I'd move on to Killing Rocks (The Bloodhound Files)


*But then I didn't feel like it.  I sort of wanted something different.


*Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk (and who also likes a lot of the same stuff I do) mentioned Zone One: A Novel


*So I bought it.  It's not bad.  A bit over-written for my taste, but a kind of interesting take on the whole Zombie Apocalypse.


*It's fair to say that some people really are going to find their true calling during the coming dark and very stinky days.


*I also started The Kingdom of Fear.


*It's too early to give an opinion on this one, but it's a cheap download.  Even if it ends up not being a favorite, I won't cry too hard.


*Oh, I forgot to mention Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim)!


*Or did I do that last week?  I can't remember...


*I love this series.  Even if this one didn't end the way I wanted.


*I want the poor guy to finally realize that it's not his fault he's a monster and that he doesn't have to be in The Very Bad Place!


*Fair Warning:  If you have strong feelings regarding the nature of good and evil, this is not the book for you.  You kind of have to be flexible about who is a good guy and who is a bad guy to appreciate The Sandman.


*Most of the series I'm interested in right now aren't boasting anything new and I'm casting my lines far and wide.  


*I'll keep you posted!


*And from the classroom...


*The Siren is officially dating The Anti-Bieber.


*They require a great deal of monitoring because I am honestly not interested in being a godparent right now.


*Their love is the stuff of legends.  Epic poems will be penned.


*For now, though, they are content with gooey messages left on the last line of a math page.


*Today, I found ILY scrawled on the bottom of the multiplication review paper.


*Best Conversation Of The Day:

Ms. Sheep:  Why look at this!  Thank you, Anti-Bieber!  I had no idea you loved me!!!

Anti-Bieber:  Er...what?

MS:  It says so right here! " ILY."  It's as plain as day.  And I'm ever so flattered that you would share your feelings so boldly.

AB:  What is happening?  I don't understand.  And I'm scared.

The Siren:  Hee-hee!  I wrote ILY on your math page and now Ms. Sheep is giving you crap!  This is awesome!!!

(Note:  The Siren is, sadly, inflicted with the exact same sense of humor as I.  It is not looking good for the AB)

MS:  I am sad to tell you AB, that our love can never be.  It is wrong.  We are ships that pass in the night, dear lad.  I can offer you naught but my hand in friendship.

The AB:  Please.  Make it stop.  Please...

MS:  (voice rising as she rides the emotional wave of the moment)  Take heart, Dear AB!  For I promise you that one day the pain you feel shall be a distant memory and that your life will be all the richer for having experienced it!  Please do not despair!  You shall, in fact, find another!  Yes....YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN!!!

*The Siren then spent most of the afternoon harassing her beau about his leaving her for an older woman.


*And yes.  I will probably end up on the news for crossing the line, but there is really only so much of the middle school love stuff a woman can take before cracking up.


*I am pretty sure a good lawyer can get me off on an insanity defense.


Yeah.  So here I am standing in line on my puffy feet and congratulating myself on not eating an entire chocolate fudge cake before leaving the parking lot.  It could be worse.  At least I have the support of the Wal-Mart Women.

And The Siren seems to think I'm kind of amusing, as well...

SA