Wednesday, October 19, 2011

WNBP: Candy, Weredogs and Zombies!

I am a person who truly wanted to post before Wednesday.  I had very good intentions.  I truly did...

It didn't exactly work out that way, though.  As much as I don't want to be known as The Sheepie That Only Does Wednesday Night Bullet Posts, I guess that is what I'm going to be.  At least for now.  There may be hope for me sometime in the future.  I suppose I can cling to that.

Meanwhile, I will live up to the title and give you the best WNBP a slacker can produce!!!

*I have not had a very good day today.

*It was raining and the students in my class did not like the reduced chances for outside play.

*Hence, they took it upon themselves to make me as miserable as possible because I clearly control all aspects of weather and climate.

*I can't make them finish their math, but I can move the very clouds.  Yeah.  That makes so much sense.

*I was also running short-staffed due to an ill-timed doctor's appointment that I did not know was on the staff docket.

*I missed two meetings today due to the missing staff and weather-related protests.

*At one of them, they decided to place a new student in my class starting on Monday.

*This tends to happen when I don't go to meetings and I generally try to be all places at all times.

*Except when I am preoccupied with making rain.

*Someone thought it would be a nice idea to tell me that it was OK because the kid wanted to learn how to knit.  I would probably get along well with him.  

*This is not enough of an incentive given the rest of the paperwork that came along.

*Little Miss Let's Distract Her With Knitting References has been prohibited from speaking to me until further notice.

*And I will now be attending all gatherings whether they relate to me or not.

*Best Conversation Of The Week Thus Far:

Ms. Sheep:  I am now eating the candy I keep in my desk that is normally designated for student bribes. There is nothing to see here.  Move along and go look out the window for your bus.

Li'l Einstein:  Well, I certainly hope you are not eating the crunchy candies that I like.  That is unacceptable.

Cheerful Teaching Assistant (approaching slowly whilst making soothing gestures):  Er...LE?  I'd just step away now.  She bought the candy.  She can eat it.  I really don't think that now is the best time to debate that.

MS:  Grrrrrr!!!

LE (not really sensing how close he is to being a cautionary tale for future students)  Why are you eating the candy?

CTA:  Seriously, LE.  I'd just drop it.  Ms. Sheep just needs some candy right now is all...

LE:  I think it is emotional.  Let me guess!  You are sad?  Is that it?  Sad?

MS:  (snaps at him, narrowly missing a finger)

LE:  Nope.  Not sad.  How about lonely?

MS:  (Glares at the CTA menacingly, clearly expecting some sort of intervention)

LE:  Hmmm...not lonely.  Let's see.  What else makes the ladies eat sugary snacks...

CTA:  Oh, for crying out loud! I can't take this anymore!  It's ANNOYANCE!!!  And I think we can pinpoint the immediate cause!

LE:  Ah!  Yes!  That makes perfect sense.  Am I annoying you into eating candy, Ms. Sheep?  Is that it?

MS:  Got it in one.  Now go home.

LE:  Can I have some candy?

*He still lives.  But only because there were witnesses.

*I'm reading stuff because I have to.

*If I don't distract myself, things could get dicey.

*I was looking for a new series...something in the urban fantasy genre, if possible.

*Stumbled across Hard Spell (Occult Crimes Unit Investigation)

*Just the one, so far.  But it's a nice read.  Not the best I've ever come across, but very well-developed, methinks!

*Then I thought I'd try Dying Bites: The Bloodhound Files

*Oh, now this is quite the concept, people!  FBI agent transported to a whole 'nother reality because the werewolves and vamps that live there can't profile a certain kind of killer.

*Brilliant!!  And so many details to fiddle with...I couldn't imagine keeping the parallels and whatnot straight!

*I quickly snagged Death Blows: The Bloodhound Files.

*Not quite as good, but still compelling.  And there are weredogs!

*Dogs bit by werewolves.  Think about it.  How might they change once infected?  

*And would they make good pets?

*I'm not going to tell you but it is so funny, I nearly asked the resident felines how they'd feel about a weredog.

*Weredogs can be trained to make coffee.  I like coffee.

*Resident felines do not make coffee so there is not point in trying to train them.  

*Nor will they approve the adoption of a weredog.  The condo association probably won't go for it either...

*Yesterday, the Cheerful Teaching Assistant said, "Now, I keep hearing about this Walking Dead thing. Is that some sort of television special?"

*I had to leave the room and go visit Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk because she understands.

*Season Two.  Not just "some television special."  Season Two.  Which came after the first season.  It is a "thing."  An actual, bona-fide THING!

*Television special...really?  I talk of little else besides zombies and this season 2 premiere was kind of an event in mine eyes.

*The Walking Dead season Two premiere was freakin' amazing.

*Totally, seriously AH.  MAZ.  ING.

And so we come to another one of those "I got nothin' else" moments that brings a WNBP to a shuddering halt.  Also, the cats just careened into the fan and now I have to go pick it up before further damage is done.  It's a lot to deal with after changing the weather, eating all the candy and scheduling my presence at every single meeting that will ever be held.  I'm kind of overwhelmed by it all.

Maybe I should look more seriously into one of those coffee brewing weredogs...



Donna Lee said...

The last time I missed a meeting, I ended up with the job no one else wanted. I asked my supervisor why he didn't have my back and he shrugged, "I didn't want to do it either".

It's every person for themselves in meetings. Miss them at your own peril.

Cathy said...

I think you need a were dog who can make coffee and meetings both.

Maybe at the same time.

Julia G said...

Maybe your new student will be former Marine Corps drill instructor and renowned act R. Lee Ermey, who just learned to knit from Crazy Aunt Purl per Monday's post.

In addition to instilling enthusiasm for crafts, he could keep order in the classroom when you duck out to meetings :-)

trek said...

We don't have all that many meetings.

I am truly grateful for this.