I promised Spunky Girl that I would teach her how to crochet on Friday. That is when the good little boys and girls in my class get to take a day of semi-rest and it seemed like an opportune time to do this. She's already mastered quilting courtesy of The Cheerful Teaching Assistant and it only seemed right that I impart my own bit of wisdom unto the child.
I did my best. I truly did. But, for some reason, poor Spunky Girl just couldn't seem to get the hang of it. She never got frustrated, bless her little heart. She kept at it all day. In spite of this, she never even managed to figure out how to do the foundation chain. She just couldn't help but wind the yarn around the hook a few times before looping it through and a vein in my head began to throb each time I saw this. I tried everything I could think of. I showed her. I explained it. I made up cute little sayings to represent the process. I put my gnarled, withered old hands over her little flawless ones and helped her to do the right movements. Nothing.
By late morning, I was joking about taping her thumbs down to keep them out of the way. By early afternoon, I was still saying it jokingly, but almost kind of meaning it. The Boy With The Bass Booming Earbuds commented, "If you just keep saying it, but never actually do it, how is she going to learn?"
I stopped saying it for two reasons. First, it is never a good idea to tape a student's thumbs in place even if it is well intended. That never plays well in the media. Secondly, The Cheerful Teaching Assistant was starting to refer to me as The Crochet Nazi. I took that as a sign and backed off.
It didn't matter much to Spunky Girl by then anyway. She'd discovered that her attempt at chaining was resulting in something she rather liked. She declined further lessons from the benevolent Ms. Sheep and merrily looped the yarn awkwardly until she had a very stretchy string of great length. She decided it was a belt. I suggested that she might put a few beads on the end for a funky touch and my reputation as a craftsperson was redeemed.
She made her cute little belts for the rest of the day. Even the boys were impressed. I have decided to pretend that I taught her this and let it be a part of my legacy from this day forth. If she makes her first million making beaded yarn belts, I expect some sort of remuneration. I think that this seems quite right and proper.
I probably should see about teaching her to knit sometime soon. That seems like the next logical addition to my ever-growing and shining legacy. I'm sure it will all go swimmingly...
I would like a typo better
4 days ago