Wednesday, August 18, 2010

WMBT: Some Days Even The Post Title Is Wrong

It has been one of those days.  Thankfully, "one of those days" also happens to be the night of the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  The WNBP will save me from everything that has gone awry!

*Seriously.  Crazy amounts of "offness."

*I went to to several stores to purchase things on my list this morning.  

*Very important things go on lists.

*Which is why I find it unforgivable that many of the stores I visited today did not have the required merchandise.

*Stores respect for lists, I tellya!!!

*I didn't bother going to the Farmer's Market today.  I figured my mere presence would cause the produce to develop malicious mites and festering mange.  

*I went to the grocery store, though.  I needed root beer.

*The grocery store had root beer.  But I had to work for it since they were stocking the shelves.

*They are always stocking the shelves.  Always.

*I am currently knitting a Situationally Necessary Octagonal Thing.

*I almost changed the title when I realized that the acronym was SNOT.

*Then I got to the point where I had about 25 stitches between the increases and my hands hurt.

*SNOT didn't seem so inappropriate at that point.

*Today I realized that my ability to maintain my attention is somewhere around "33 stitches between the increases."

*Rookie mistakes were made.

*Rather than tink back like a responsible knitter, I decided I could repair the boo-boo without such time-consuming nonsense.

*I am not a rookie.

*I have spent more time trying to fix the boo-boo than it would have taken to just tink.

*Two steps forward.  Thirty steps back.

*All stupid day.

*I'm tinking back.  I'm tinking back to the point where life makes sense again.

*As well as the forward progression of numbers....

*Went to lunch with the family today.  It's a monthly thing for most of the group.

*The ones who go regularly all have cards which entitle them to discounts.

*I have observed that at a certain age, one is bestowed with a plethora of cards.

*Cards which, when presented, cause people to shower the bearer with benefits.

*Or inform everyone present of the need for oxygen/hypodermic needles/electric shock paddles.

*Either way, the cards must make a person feel mighty special...

*I used to fear the day I qualified for cards.

*Now I look forward to them.  I yearn for cards.

*People with cards don't have to go back to teach school in a couple of weeks.  They get to go out to lunch on a week day like it's nothing.

*I think I would do well with a few of those cards.

*Except I'd have to stay at home sometimes with a SNOT that won't behave like a good SNOT should.

*There is no card for that.

*However, if you really start to get overworked about the whole thing, you can present one of your cards to the nice paramedics when they come for you.

*I think if I work back two or three more rounds on the SNOT, I might be somewhere in the vicinity of correctness.

*Or I will have ruined rows that were knitted perfection and have to throw myself out the window.

*Either way, the day will be over and I won't have to worry about it anymore.

*Of course, then I won't get any of those cool cards later on... 

Well, I must be off.  That SNOT isn't going to unknit itself, after all.  And we are rapidly approaching the Feline Feeding Hour, something that we don't like to miss around here.  Things get ugly when FFH is not observed and I don't think I want to tempt fate any more today, thank you very much.  Hope your Wednesday was smoother than mine and that the rest of your week is equally delightful.

I have to go to the doctor tomorrow.  I wonder how she will react to my telling her that I'm dealing with a nasty SNOT and that this required I have bacon on my sandwich today?



Mia said...

hey... that's a benefit to gettin' too freakin' old I hadn't thought about....

The CARDS! Hey... a deal is a deal :) and somethin' to look forward to since we don't have a choice :)

Mel said...

I think that as long as you fast properly beforehand, you shouldn't need to confess anything to the doctor.

Anonymous said...

I have largely given up on brick and mortar stores. Internet shopping all the way, baby!

trek said...

There must be something contagious in these here interwebs. I spent the better portion of two days burning hte correct disc images to DVDs and backing up my data so that I could upgrade my computer.

I followed up that activity with spending an entire freaking day installing and uninstalling and reinstalling drivers that do not recognize my system and calling out to and awaiting callbacks from tech support.

Today isn't looking any better.

If you defenestrate yourself, you will probably live (the manse existing only as a second floor elevation) and the EMTs will come.

You might get lucky and score a cute EMT. Or not.

Donna Lee said...

I'm a big fan of the list, too. It's how I keep things in mind that have slipped out of my brain (read that as 'everything').

Knitting Linguist said...

I'm guessing she's heard even weirder things, but I'd say it anyway and see how she reacts. I hate days like that -- I hope today is better and that your SNOT stops acting up!

Karen said...

I little bacon can't hurt.
Will you show us photos of SNOT?

Julia G said...

Ah, the eternal dilemma, frog or fix..... I always succumb to the temptation to try tinking back instead of tearing out. It usually works better with wool, which more forgiving than cotton.