Wednesday, April 28, 2010

WNBP: I Am Blumfied At The Moment

Welcome to the stupidest Wednesday ever in the history of Midweeks.  Ever.  I still can't believe it myself and I was there, for crying out loud!  Here's your bullet points for this particular Wednesday:

*There are a number of changes coming to my middle school classroom.


*Changes that will require a certain amount of work on my part.


*These changes were discussed at length.  


*In multiple settings.


*By great masses of gathered educational professionals.


*Discussed in depth.


*Many times.


*Every possible eventuality was analyzed.


*Great thought went into these decisions.


*One problem...


*No one mentioned any of these changes to me.


*I have until Monday to figure out how to implement these well-executed changes.


*Some people didn't mention the changes because they are scared of me.


*Others didn't mention them because they have not yet learned to be scared of me.


*Many were just caught up in the excitement of all the change-making.


*And one, my boss, had the foresight to give me a Very Special Commendation when she spoke in front of the school board last week.


*Because I am so very flexible in the face of sweeping changes.  Particularly the ones I don't know about yet.


*A real team player, that Ms. Sheep!


*That was brilliant.  Genius, even.


*Because now...


*THERE IS NO WAY I CAN PROTEST THESE CHANGES OR POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS FLAWS WITHOUT LOOKING LESS THAN FLEXIBLE OR WORTHY OF COMMENDATION!!!


*Amazing.


*I am currently wrapped up in my Blumfy and will be there for the foreseeable future.


*Don't come over.  I won't answer the door.


*Tangled up in my Blumfy.


*In case you missed the last post, Blumfy=Snuggie.


*Or Slanket.


*Blanket with sleeves.


*Tacky item "as seen on TV."


*And very awesome, especially when you have been given a commendation which prevents your responding to things that most definitely require a strongly worded response.


*For those who asked, the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty does love the Blumfy.


*It goes like this:  


*Sheepie wraps up in Blumfy and lays sideways on the couch.


*Big, Fluffy Kitty snuggles into the nook created by mommy's tummy.


*Giant, orange beast gallops over, grabs the little bit of Blumfy hanging off the couch and yanks.


*Rolls himself right up in it.


*Sheepie and the BFK hang on for dear life and cling to what little Blumfy is left to them.


*Can't knit in a Blumfy.


*Don't care what the commercials say.


*Can't knit in a Blumfy when an AGK is dragging you to the ground with all his considerable might.


*It's physically and emotionally exhausting to even try knitting in a Blumfy.


*Now he has all the blankies in the house and there is nothing I can do about it, really.


*Still nice to be wrapped up in a Blumfy when it's raining and Wednesday has turned stupid beyond all reason.


*On the up side, I have job security now.


*Everyone who suddenly realized that they forgot to tell me about the changes is being very nice to me.


*As I said to my Organized Teaching Assistant today:


*"See that spot on the floor?  I could poop right there and still not be fired.  They'd even clean it up for me."


*I might have worded it a little differently, but it was something along those lines.


*I'm not pooping on the floor.  I was just illustrating my point, is all.


I think we've reached a good stopping point.  Once you've had to reassure people that you aren't planning on besmirching the tiles of a middle school classroom, you probably should shut things down for the night.  Maybe go see if the AGK is willing to share a corner of the Blumfy.  I am so very, very glad this day is over.  Thursday and Friday are right around the corner.

Of course that means that Monday (aka The Day Of Great And Sweeping Change) is looming ever closer and I still don't quite know what to do with it, but I don't want to think about that right now...

SA

15 comments:

Mel said...

My patients poop on the floor. Frequently. With them, at least, it's understandable, if not entirely pleasant. You, however, are a sheep of a different fleece, and I thank you for your discretion.

Besides, you might soil your blumfy.

trek said...

To paraphrase Morpheus, "But, do you really want such job security?"

You're right: your Wednesday was stupid beyond all thought, reason, and comprehension. Are black and white cookies allowed on stupid Wednesdays?

crzjane said...

I am glad to hear you are feeling better. I hope you can wrestle your Blumphy from the kitty. I have lost at least 4 blankets to my cute little doggie. He always looks so happy when he's curled up on my blanket I don't have the heart to make him move.
Hope your Thursday is better.

kmkat said...

I prescribe black & white cookies. Ice cream, too, if you can manage it in the Blumfy. Hope Thursday and Friday are way better than today, and that Monday goes smoothly.

catsmum said...

I just realised that according to Google I am not an official 'follower' because - obviously - years of religeously stalking you via Bloglines doesn't count - so I'm going to totally confuse the computer and become an official SA follower.

Karen said...

Everyone is taking advantage of your gentle sheepy nature. First you've got the sweeping changes and now AGK is stealing your Blumfy. Something has got to give. Do you think they'd notice if you brought your Blumfy to school?

Donna Lee said...

Sweeping changes are never good. Things like that happen all the time here. Suddenly, on a Thurs or Fri (or sometimes on a Wed even), we are told that come Monday, THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT. No warning or preparation.

While it helps to be flexible, it can also make you feel like a pretzel after a while.

Mia said...

how can you make tragedy sound so funny?

oh, and what kmkat said - a black and white cookie sounds good!

Cursing Mama said...

I could send you a dog turd if you feel like you want to test the theory; got plenty of those these days.
I should mention that I am slowly losing my mind due to
spring school activities + 2(graduation)/sad checkbook X super busy at work - time with snuggy

=Tamar said...

On the other hand, proposing said corrections could be said to prove your flexibility.
And since your corrections would definitely improve the situation, that would demonstrate your commendability.

Knitting Linguist said...

Oh, geez. Yeurgh. I really dislike Wednesdays like that. And Mondays like the one that's coming. Thank goodness for blumfies, even blumfies that are mostly taken up by cat. Hang in there...

April said...

I think a trip to Dutch Harbor is in order.

Kath said...

I'd hold off pooping on the floor but really, that doesn't mean you couldn't push the envelope in some other manner. Perhaps Sheepie can use the time Great And Sweeping Changes to make some changes of her own? Classroom improvements? New materials? There's gotta be something!

Lorraine said...

LOL- I can't help but visualize an epic tug-o-war in the Sheepish Manse. Funniest Home Video material, that is.

Julia G said...

Hmm, perilous weather, claustrophobically cramped quarters, cussing, tempers flaring -- would that be the latest episode of Deadliest Catch, or your workday? I agree with April, the Bering Sea looks like a vacation spot by comparison.