Wednesday, January 11, 2012

WNBP: Snow Day. I Mean It.

Tomorrow is going to be a snow day.  I am sorry to just throw that out there without a preamble or anything, but I am not really up for the niceties at the moment.  Tomorrow is going to be a snow day.

I have known this for two days.  I would know this even if I did not have the advantages of television, radio, print media and the sometimes contradictory but mostly helpful thing known as The Almighty InterWebs.  I do not need these things to know that tomorrow is going to be a snow day.

I am an educator.  I spend my days with children.  I spend my days with very challenging children.  And I am telling you right now and for certain that tomorrow is going to be a snow day.

Let us explore this boldly phrased statement in Bullet Point Format.  It is Wednesday, after all.  I'm not going to let a little thing like a snow day get in the way of weekly tradition.  I might be a little rough around the edges when it comes to social niceties and whatnot, but I'm not a savage!

*It would be an understatement to say that things in Ms. Sheep's classroom have been a bit...tense.

*This is not unusual right before a storm.  Low pressure systems are not my friends.

*Monday was PRIDE day.

*We had PRIDE day as part of our school's ongoing efforts to improve the culture and climate and you can trust me when I tell you that this is sorely needed.

*I've nothing against PRIDE.  Please don't knock the PRIDE.

*I'm just tired and maybe a little cranky at the moment.

*All the letters in PRIDE stand for some noble thing or another, but I don't much care about them anymore.

*We used each class to do an activity representing the noble attributes represented by these words.

*By the time I got to E, I'm pretty sure that P stood for Perplexed.

*As in, "Why the heck is Ms. Sheep so Purposefully Pushing us towards Producing Posters today?"

*Low pressure systems do not make for noble sentiment.  Nor the desire to make colorful, positive posters.

*By the time I got to the Write About Something You Are Proud Of assignment and the Phuture Physicist began to weep outright, I figured we might need a break from the PRIDE for one class period.

*PP was sick and had fought with his mom that day...not feeling really proud of anything at that point.

*It was also his birthday the next day so I asked him how old he was going to be and he told me he was going to be fourteen.

* And then I needed to go weep because I've had him in my class off and on since he was freakin' five years old and if he's fourteen now...


*Spunky Girl also had a birthday over the weekend.  She's thirteen.

*First had her in my class when she was six.

*My stomach hurts.

*Also my ankles are swelling again and I look like I'm walking on pontoons by 2:00 each day.

*Low pressure system, possibly assisted by the consumption of half a bag of salty nacho chips following the excessive displays of PRIDE and birthdays.

*Here's a fun fact:  The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty has learned how to rattle the bathroom doorknob.

*He can actually make it twist back and forth, looking for all the world as if someone is testing the knob for entry.

*Which is awesome at 5:30 in the morning as I emerge, still half-asleep, from the shower.

*I do so love to let out a girlish shriek first thing to start the day off right.

*Seriously thought the boogy-man was at the door.

*Best Conversation Of The Week:

Jolly Boy: (running back into the classroom after accompanying the Cheerful Teaching Assistant to her car to pick up some project supplies) Hey!  Guess what?  I just got to look at the Tree Fat!!!

(No one responds because, really, what is there to say?  JB decides to focus his message on one student for better impact)

JB:  Hey!  Anti-Beiber!  You won't believe this!  I was outside and I got to see the Tree Fat!  I was right up close!  I could've touched it if I wanted to!!!!!!

The Anti-Bieber:  (after several minutes of Tree Fat related commentary directed his way)  Dude...what the hell are you talking about?

Ms. Sheep:  (tiredly)  Don't say, "hell."

AB:  But he's yelling at me about Tree Fat!  I don't know what Tree Fat is!  Do you know what the hell he's talking about?

MS:  No.  I do not know what the hell he is talking about.  I just know that our asking about it whilst invoking hell is probably not in keeping with at least three of the PRIDE letters I had to teach you about on Monday and I don't want to have to go back and do that all over again.  If I make anyone else cry this week, I'm going to have to fill out paperwork or something...

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  (picks head up from desk where she has been resting it)  It is suet.  The Green Team hung suet for the birds and I had to stand there for ten minutes holding a ten thousand pound sewing machine while I explained what suet is made of.

MS:  Oh.  Well...that makes sense.

CTA:  I can't feel my lower arms...

AB:  What the hell is suet?

*You don't have to fill out any extra paperwork if the teacher is crying.  Just the kids.

*My hair is looking so bad these days that the World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach called me to say I need an appointment.

*She hasn't seen me or anything...she just knows.  I'm going on Saturday.

*I haven't finished her Christmas gift yet.

*A snow day might help, but I don't know if even that is going to be enough.

*I finished up The Bride Wore Black Leather (Nightside) the other day.

*I was fairly eager to read it and snapped it up when it came out.  It ended all too soon.

*For fans of The Nightside series, this is a Must Read.

*And yet not the best of the series.

*I used to get rather excited when he did a tie in to one of his other non-Nightside novels.

*Now it just kind of feels like an advertisement for them.  Seems like kind of a cheap thing to do.

*Although this is the Nightside, the place that exists to give the darker souls a place to work out their issues safely away from the lighter realms.

*I suppose a few sneaky, subversive messages are almost in keeping with that tone...

*Also wrapped up the audio version of Enchantment.

*Which I enjoyed very much, although I sometimes hated the fact that two readers were used to cover the male and female perspectives.

*Both were quite good readers...just a little jarring to adjust to both, I was all.

*Since that worked out so well, I decided to keep up the Orson Scott Card theme and try Lost Boys: A Novel.

*I've only gotten a little way into it, but so far so good.

*I listen to books in the car on the way to work so I'm hoping that I won't get to listen to it tomorrow.

*Snow day, if you recall....

*I'd rather be home reading On the Edge (The Edge, Book 1).

*A confusing read at first, but worth the effort.  Hang in there.

*Quickly becomes quite compelling.  

*Although I have to admit that last night, as I was falling asleep over the text, nothing much was compelling me.  

*I am tired from all the PRIDE and edgy children and cats who are trying to open bathroom doors all because of an impending storm that has everyone going a little bit crazy.

*Snow day, people.  That is all I am saying.  

And, with that, I am off to go check the weather forecast one more time.  I don't think there's been much of a change, though.  All indicators still seem to point to a weather event in my near future and the likelihood of a much needed snow day for Ms. Sheep.

Of course, that doesn't always work out.  Just in case, I cautioned my staff to not get too comfortable with the idea of a day off.  We might still have to come to work.

And no one is to speak to me if that is the case.  Or look at me.  Or cross within four feet of my path...



Beth said...

Tree fat - so funny!

trek said...

It is the middle of the night.
I am still working on the massive database for Neatnik's school's major fundraiser.
It is raining.
A lot.
A downpour, really.
It had better be lots colder up there in the wilds of Maine.
Just sayin'

kmkat said...

1. Orson Scott Card's "Lost Boys" was mentioned in a comment to MasonDixon Knitting's latest post asking readers to tell her what book(s) they found haunting. I look forward to your review.

B. Can't you listen to your audio book on your iPad or CD player of something in the manse whilst you knit away at the World's Best Stylist etc. tomorrow during your snow day?

iii. Speaking of snow days, enjoy yours!

Donna Lee said...

The rain continued into this morning. It's hard to think SNOW when it's 53 degrees. And to think, we had a brief snowstorm in October.

Elaine said...

Yay for snow days!!

Julia G said...

Great riposte from the Anti-Bieber! And speaking of Hell, my very own Anti-Bieber just had a grand time working his way through the Nine Circles of Hell in the Dante's Inferno video game, which was worth every penny and then some. The wails of the eternally damned would probably sound all too familiar to you!