Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Even When I Brandish Bald Truths!!!

"Hello, is this Mrs. Sheep?"

I sighed.  Sometimes it's just not worth pointing out that I am not Mrs. Sheep.  Mommy Sheep is Mrs. Sheep.  My Sister-in-Law is Mrs. Sheep.  I am Ms. Sheep, but that was going to take more time than was really called for.  Besides, I knew who was on the other end of this phone conversation.  I'd dropped my car off for the first round of what promised to be a lengthy series of long-awaited repairs and this was obviously my homegirl from the service desk calling to tell me that they were ready for me to come pay them some money.  Might as well get on with it...

"Your car is ready, ma'am," she confirmed.  "And you'll be pleased to know that they were able to put the inspection sticker on it today."

"WHAT? It passed???  But I supposedly had a brake light out.  You aren't supposed to pass if all the lights don't work.  And what about the wipers?  Those were all tattered last time we looked.  Are you seriously telling me this car passed inspection?"

My homegirl paused, clearly flummoxed by someone who would be so blatantly honest about why her car shouldn't get its past due inspection sticker.  Most people would have just said a quick, "thank you kindly" and grabbed their keys before anyone noticed the error.

Not me.  I've learned a bit about karma over the past 12 months.  Just when I think things can't get worse, something else blows up.  I've killed a coffee maker.  I've blown up a television.  I've crashed two laptops.  Why just this past weekend, a random power surge took out half the outlets in my kitchen.  One of them happens to run my refrigerator.

I know from karma.  There is no avoiding it.  Trying to do things the easy way or pretend that everything is fine is not going to end well and I'll throw hard facts at people until they can prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that all is well.  I continued my campaign when I went to pick up my car and met with a new service representative.

Sheepish Annie:  OK.  So we are no longer freaking out about the excess play in the left front sway bar, right?  I don't exactly know what that is, but it sounds like something that might kill me later and I want to have some warning on that.

New Service Rep:  (flipping through paperwork) Err...I guess it's OK.  I mean, it wasn't enough to keep you from getting a sticker so you should be all right until your next service visit.  Wait...does this say you're here today because you ran over a trash bag?  Seriously?  You didn't really do all that damage by running over a trash bag.  It's just not possible!

SA:  That is history and a matter of record.  There is even a picture of the killer trash bag at the service desk if you care to ask.  I know because I've seen it.  We have bigger issues now.  How about that chip in the windshield?  That thing has grown into a crater over the last year and I'm betting someone noticed it.

NSR:  Well, yeah.  Frankly, none of us are really sure how you passed inspection.  It's all any of us have been talking about and the guy who did it won't look any of us in the eye right now. But you did pass and since it's 5:00 and the cleaning crew is coming in and there are still three people behind you...

Good enough.  I took my car and brought it home.  The left turn signal is still kind of wonky but that's OK.  And I supposed that "excess play" thing is something I should be looking into soon, not to mention the ribbon-like wiper blades.  But the biggest part of the work is done and my car is inspected so I'm not going to poke the bear any longer.  I'm going to sit here, knit my socks, and accept that the car people believe my vehicle is going to run for another few days.

But I kept a transcript of the conversations just in case karma needs proof of my honesty.



trek said...

Number Guy's car recently passed inspection, too. We were concerned (that sway bar thingy seems to be going around these here interwebs) but all they check these days are the emmissions...

Anonymous said...

This gives hope to the rest of us.

Donna Lee said...

We only have the emissions now so my car could have parts hanging off of it and still pass. NJ: the no-so-safe state.

Anonymous said...

Inspections? We don' need no stinkin' inspections in Wisconsin! In Minnesota the emissions must be checked when a car turns 5, if I remember correctly; I do remember when you got this car so it cannot be 5 yet. You Maine folks are way ahead of us.