Wednesday, April 24, 2013

WNBP: Pressurized

Happy Wednesday, Fellow Perusers Of The Inter-Webs!  Here we are, another midweek evening is upon us and I, your faithful Sheepie, am back to regale you with further tales from my ever-so-fascinating life.

Of course, if you are finding my life utterly engrossing, I would suggest you think about finding a hobby.  Perhaps something like skydiving or tiger are in serious need of some excitement in your life.

Until you can manage the time for that, however, I'll see if I can keep you moderately entertained with this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post.

*I am back to school.  The April vacation week came to an abrupt and unwelcome end as vacation weeks are wont to do.

*Yes, I have survived three whole days of semi-consiousness and actual work.  I am certain you are sitting there wondering just how I do it...

*I am also fairly certain that no one wants to hear me whine about how this is the most grueling time of the school year as we all start looking ahead to summer vacation and the kids start to realize that there is a limit to our influence over their lives.

*Oh, woe is me!  I have to work for another forty or so days and they will be ever so hard...however shall I cope???

*I won't say it.  Just know I'm thinking it because there is a lot to do between now and the final bell and I somehow have to do it whilst wrangling kids who are more finished with this school business than I am.

*Wait...I have to squash a fly.  It's one of those stupid little ones that likes to come in through the screen and sit on my computer monitor.

*There.  The little bugger is now paste.  I'm just going to ignore the smudge he left as a reminder of my callous treatment of small creatures.

*I awoke this morning barely able to breathe.  The best I could manage was a shallow, "Ha-HUFF!"

*It was like a big bag of gelatin had been placed on me in order to see if I could inhale and exhale around its gooey, clingy mass.

*I'd been sleeping on my back, something I pretty much never do.

*And I was really, really HOT.  Like sweltering hot.  Like, "I should really consider icing down this stupid bed," hot.

*I was half-asleep, convinced that my heart was finally giving out after all those years of ice cream dinners and trying to find enough breath to make peace with my maker when I realized the actual problem.

*Fat siamese sleeping on my chest.

This isn't the actual scene.  It's a re-creation for your benefit since I don't keep a camera in hand at bedtime, ready and waiting for interesting shots.

*This isn't a really accurate re-creation since he didn't have that artful ray of sunlight dancing across his features, nor is this even the end of the beast I was staring at.

*But, you get the idea...

*I didn't dare move him.  The Very Complicated Kitty has issues.  And a startle reflex that belies his girth and general good nature.

*He's more of a "Strike First Ask Questions Later" kind of kitty.

*I know this from painful experience.

*All I could do was continue breathing shallowly and try to ease an arm close enough to the clock radio that I might shut off the alarm before its blaring bleat caused the resting beast to rip open my aorta whilst fleeing the scene.

*I also spent some time wondering how my principal was going to react when I called in to say I would be late due to a poorly placed feline.

*He moved on his own once he realized I was awake.  He wasn't happy about it, but I suspect he knew that feeding time was close and that Mommy needed full blood flow in order to manipulate cans and bowls.

*On the plus side, I picked up some ice cream on the way home.  Now that I know the pressure wasn't from my heart exploding in my chest, I can dine as I please!

*And since I've pretty much given up on ever getting around to eating dinner before 7:00, I don't have to worry about cooking times.  Ice cream is ready when I am!

*Although the lunch I need to pack for tomorrow might take a little more in the way of prep.  Need to add that to the night's to-do list.

*I hate having a to-do list at night.  I want to relax at night.  I want to mentally prepare myself for supporting the dead weight of a portly cat.

*But I also hate not having a lunch on Thursday so I suppose I should just suck it up.

*I can't have ice cream for lunch in front of children.  Ice cream as a meal is only legal if you are an adult and I don't want them getting ideas in their tiny, little veggie-craving brains.

*I don't normally give in to peer pressure when it comes to reading material.  I pick what I want based on what I like.

*Which is probably why I'm the last person in the free world to realize that The Night Circus is pretty much freaking AMAZING.

*Found the audio version available for download at the library.  Since it's narrated by Jim Dale, one of my all-time favorite readers, I gave it a shot.

*Of course, I probably shouldn't have been listening while I was driving through the back roads of nowhere yesterday trying to get to a meeting for which I was already late.

*I told them I was going to be late, but that didn't make me any less anxious about the whole business.

*For the record, it matters not that I have been to this remote location for several meetings over the years and one but a few weeks ago.  I can get lost between my own sofa and the bathroom.

*There's this one's tricky.  It's not my fault!

*Plus I was listening to a really good book...

*I've also decided to finally get down to reading Dog Days (A Dog Days Novel).

*It's one I've been eyeing for years but never quite got around to purchasing.

*So far, so good.  It's kind of got one of those Wizard In The City vibes to it and I know there's a lot of those around these days.  

*But still good.  Engaging main character and who doesn't love a bad boy musician?

*No regrets on that purchase.

OK.  I need to start thinking about that lunch for tomorrow.  Not to mention my ice cream dinner, although I'm kind of hungry enough to be thinking that something more substantial might be in order.  No pressure, though.  I shall dine as the mood moves me.

Lord knows I've got enough in the way of pressing matters.  For example, working for a living like the rest of the world and cats attracted to my warm, beating heart...



Donna Lee said...

I love the Night Circus. I came across it by accident and listened because of Mr Dale. It's wonderful and fascinating.

Dawn in NL said...

What a blast from the past! I followed your link to Jim Dale to see if it was THAT Jim Dale and it was. I had a crush on him in the Carry On Doctor period.


mehitabel said...

I, too, have a portly feline who likes to sleep on me. His feeding alarm goes off as soon a s the first hint of dawn light appears and feels that if the sun is up, for any given definition of "up," then we should be as well, and I should be opening one of those cans.
I love being a service provider to a couple of cats. Really. I think it's why I sleep so well in hotels!

kmkat said...

I picked The Night Circus as my book for book club in November, then it was moved to December,then to May, and now it is scheduled for November again (2013 this time instead of 2012). That damned hip surgery keeps getting in the way...

Julia G said...

Awww, kitteh! What a handsome fella. This endless winter turned even my big orange Norwegian Forest cat into a dedicated lapcat (which we encouraged because he radiates heat like a furnace).