Wednesday, January 09, 2013

WNBP: Post Holiday...Something.

Most of the teachers at my school agreed that this week might prove to be just a tiny bit...yucky.  At the very least, it promised to be harder than last week.

Let's face it: having a vacation, lots of prezzies and then coming back to a three day work week is pretty darned awesome.  It's that first full week back that hurts.

But it isn't the end of the world and I honestly can't complain about the kidlets.  They've been rather good about the whole thing.  With few exceptions, they've handled the return to work and dealing with their teachers like troupers.

I could probably take a lesson from a few of them if I wasn't so tired and fussy from being asked to work five days in a row...

Here's your Wednesday Night Bullet Post for the week.  I'm going to see if I can act more like an adult for the duration of one post.  Maybe that will keep things on track for Thursday and Friday.

*My car had eighty ba-zillion pounds of ice adhered to the roof from the last couple of storms.

*Yesterday, things warmed up considerably.

*Which meant that eighty ba-zillion pound of ice was rattling and shaking quite threateningly as I barreled home along the Maine Turnpike.

*I honestly didn't know what it was until I saw a great, whacking sheet of the stuff go flying off behind me to smash onto the highway.

*When I got home, I had to lift the rest of it off by hand because I don't want to be known as the person who took out fifteen windshields during the morning commute.

*It's all still sitting in the driveway because I don't feel like dragging sheets of ice off into the snowbanks this week.

*I already have to work five days in a row.  I shouldn't be expected to lug ice sheets hither and yon.

*I was rather put out to discover that there was nothing on TV last weekend.  Not even when I checked the On Demand channels.

*That is horrifying to me since television defines my life and reruns seem to be a negative comment on my progress.

*Then I discovered the last season of Mob Wives: Season 1 (Uncensored).

*I lost an entire Sunday to MW.  The whole thing.

*I forgot to call Mommy and Daddy Sheep like I always do.

*Darkness fell and I realized I had nothing prepared for lunches.  Ditto for Monday garments.

*I'm not proud of it.  It's not exactly Masterpiece Theater.

*But...I just couldn't help myself!  It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion or the Very Complicated Kitty trying to get past his own belly to clean the base of his tail.

*You want to look away.  You really do.

*But you just...can't.

*If I could spend an afternoon with Big Ang, I'd die happy.  I'd die laughing.

*Also probably full of wine and botox...

*One of the features of the sixth grade experience in my school district are The Puberty Talks.

*Long time readers may recall those from back when I taught at the other school.

*I'd forgotten about them.  Now I remember because we had them today.

*Boys in one room.  Girls in the other.

*He Who...PROJECTS has a few social quirks.  It was unlikely he was going to be able to sit in the "boy" room without engaging in a great deal of commentary.

*Long rambling commentary, some of which might be related to the topic at hand or an answer to a question, but mostly the stuff of classes that go well beyond the allotted time.

*He means well.  And he's curious.  Just not always socially aware, is all.

*I decided to have a little chat with him beforehand.  We discussed how to respond to boys who might get silly and embarrassed.

*We agreed to ignore them.

*We also discussed how it's OK to ask and answer questions when called on.

*But we agreed that any long stories or extended questions should be brought back to our classroom where they could be addressed without arousing the ire of fifty or so sixth grade boys who just want to go to PE.

*Then it kind of went south...

Ms. Sheep:  Remember, you'll learn more by listening than by talking.  And don't be surprised if some of the boys get silly.  This is where you learn about puberty and becoming a teenager and sometimes that's embarrassing for some kids.

He Who...PROJECTS:  TEENAGERS?  I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THAT.  TEENAGERS HAVE CELL PHONES.  MY MOM SAID I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF A CELL PHONE YET.

MS:  No.  Not cell phones.  You're going to learn about some of the changes that will happen to your body when you start to become a teenager.

HW...P:  OH.  SO WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT ALL THE NEW PRIVILEGES WE GET FOR OUR BODIES WHEN WE ARE TEENAGERS?

MS:  (now projecting somewhat herself)  NO!  NO BODY PRIVILEGES.  DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, GO HOME TONIGHT AND TELL YOUR MOTHER MS. SHEEP SAID YOU WERE GETTING NEW PRIVILEGES FOR YOUR BODY!!!!!

*I sent him off to his puberty talk and hoped for the best.

*He did well.  As the other student I had in there.

*The Boy With The Cuteth Lithp EVER stomped into the room when it was all over.  He was put out. And had something to say about the whole matter.

*"Thothe guyth need to jutht grow up!!!!"

*I couldn't have put it better myself.  Or in a cuter fashion because that lisp is seriously the most darling thing I've ever heard.

*Puberty talks make me tired.  We should not have the puberty talks on the first full week back after vacation.

*I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying listening to Undead and Unwed (Undead/Queen Betsy).

*It's sort of like Mob Wives.  You really want to be better.  Especially since there are some definite issues with the reading and editing of this novel.  And it's not great literature to begin with.

*But I'm snickering my way down the highway each day and I'm not afraid to admit it.  This is just a fun story!

*I also checked out a copy of River Marked (Mercy Thompson, Book 6) from the library.  

*I didn't finish it before it had to be returned last time and it was already on hold so I had to wait.

*I think I'll have time to listen to the rest of it before the clock ticks down now that I don't have a pesky week and a half break to keep me away from the morning commute.

*This is a strategy for getting past that whole post-holiday-back-to-work-for-five-straight-days situation.


And now I realize that I forgot dinner.  Great.  That is every Wednesday since I-don't-know-when in a row.  I am starting to think that this particular New Year's Resolution (of a sort since I don't really DO resolutions...) isn't working out very well.  I honestly thought I was capable of remembering I have to eat one last meal for the day on a regular basis and before 7:30 rolls around.  Now I have to figure out the time ratio between my supper and my evening snack which is going to take up half the time left before bed!

I blame the five day work week.  I should write a letter or something...

SA

4 comments:

trek said...

We had the birds and bees talk here just before Christmas.

Number Guy fled the room when he saw my diagrams. He is now scarred for life.

Neatnik was totally cool with the whole thing.

It's a guy thing, I guess.

kmkat said...

My husband used to teach the health classes at several of the alternative high schools where he was the school nurse. Not so much with the puberty, but more with the how to tell if you boyfriend is abusing you, how to recognize (and prevent) STDs, where to get help when you tell your parents you are pregnant and they throw you out on the curb in mid-January and it is -10˚F outside and all you are wearing is jammie pants and a hoodie. You know, the usual teen stuff.

When we moved to rural WI he used to scare our boys (14 and 10 at the time), saying that he was going to volunteer to do the sex ed classes at their new school.

No mention of the flu plague in your post. Does that mean that the medical emergency situation in Boston has not yet reached the shores of Maine? Good. Let's keep it that way.

Donna Lee said...

I am having a terrible time here. Intellectualy I know it's Thursday but since I also thought yesterday was Thursday, I'm having somewhat of a disconnect. I'm not going to like it when the alarm goes off tomorrow.

Queen Betsy is one of my favorite lemonmeringuepie books. The kind that are not really nutritious by any stretch of the imagination but are so delicious at the same time.

Oh, and we're predicted to get temps as high as 60 this weekend. In January. I have lost all hope for snow this year.

Cursing Mama said...

As a catholic school parent I had to provide the puberty talk to my children myself. I provided age appropriate supplemental reading material for the parts that made me snicker and make inappropriate comments.