Wednesday, November 14, 2012


I'm still having a great deal of difficulty getting back on schedule.  It seems like, just when the week days start to make sense, something comes along to smash the order into smithereens and I'm right back where I started.

At least this week I'm not alone.  Everyone at the Learn-a-matorium seems to be suffering from Long Weekend Syndrome or, as the professionals call it, LWS.  We are all in agreement that the long weekend was nothing short of awesome.  We are further in accord when we say that it will probably be March before we manage to get our darling students back on track.

Fortunately, I have a rather delightful group of kidlets this year and they keep me entertained.  Of course, they aren't exactly the edgy types that I had in years past and they lack that certain challenge that comes from having to find something to love in a kid who wants nothing more than to key your car...

But one adjusts.

Here's your midweek bullet points.  The very fact that they exist proves that I can't be too far off the mark even with the long weekend!

*I had Monday off.

*And today I figured out that I have to take tomorrow off because I have a doctor's appointment.

*Which isn't going to help the LWS situation one little bit, but I don't much care.  I figure I can work in a little holiday shopping and perhaps an early nap as well.

*The New Teaching Assistant pointed out that the Thanksgiving break is just around the corner.  We spent the better part of first period dreamily discussing the first through tenth courses of the meal that comes with that holiday.

*I am starving.  And there is no pie in this house.  Not so much as a slice.

*Which is why one shouldn't be discussing Thanksgiving dinner a week in advance.

*Speaking of which, next week will consist of two days.  We have Wednesday off as well as the regular holiday break.

*That will do nothing to improve the LWS.

*I kind of don't care.  I just want pie.

*I finally had to break down and bring my poor little spider plant in to school.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty views it as his own personal salad bar and can find it no matter where I hide it.

*I showed the kids a picture of him eating the plant to explain why we have to make room for it in our classroom.

*It was a tiny photo.  The Boy With The Cutest Lithp EVER asked me to use the zoom feature on my computer.

Ms. Sheep:  Oh, that's horrible!  Look.  It got all pixelated!  You can't even see the AGK's face while he hangs from the curtains and chomps away on my lovely spider plant...

TBWTCLE: Ha! He lookth juth like the cwiminalth on TV!!!

*He sort of did what with him committing an actual crime and all...

*My staff and I shared a lot of "holiday" stories today.  It's that time of the year, I guess.  They had some truly lovely tales to tell, full to the brim with family, happy children tearing into stockings and hot chocolate by the fire.

*I told about the one and only time I cooked a turkey and how I had no idea that those things come with little baggies of innards stuffed both fore and aft.

*And how that turkey was part of a school celebration of the first Thanksgiving where I was dressed in a full-on pilgrim outfit.

*Which is exactly what you want to be wearing when your authentic-if-not-exactly-what-the-pilgrims-ate turkey poops out a paper bag of guts...

*I also told about the time I lost hold of the fresh, ice coated Christmas tree and was trapped for what felt like hours in the middle of my living room while the Smaller, Less Fluffy Kitty licked my face and looked more and more like a wild animal preparing to feast with every passing minute.

*And how it was a Friday and I knew I wouldn't be missed before Monday which is why that darned cat was making me so nervous.

*That, I declared, was the year I decided an artificial tree was a perfectly acceptable holiday choice.

*I had lots of good stories.

*But I barely got to the part where I decided that the stuffing from inside the turkey (where the bag of guts used to be) will probably kill us all before my staff was laughing so hard I couldn't be heard no matter how loud I shouted.

*I am shocked by their callous disregard for salmonella based stuffing...

*Little Einstein has gym this quarter.  That's good.  He likes gym.  He specifically requested it.

*I like it because he burns off some energy.

*But he can't remember to bring gym clothes to save his soul and has to borrow shorts from the nurse four out of five days.

*The odds of him remembering decrease with each and every shortened school week.

*Sometimes he forgets to change out of the shorts and then I have his discarded pants all over the classroom.

*Today, he realized he was running out of jeans and that he needed to take a pair home.  I gave him a plastic shopping bag in which to transport them because he also forgets his backpack on a regular basis.

*He stood there, staring at the plastic bag in his hand.  Finally he wandered off shaking his head and muttering...

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone's gonna think I pissed my pants..."

*I don't know why that struck me so funny, but I darned near needed to go visit the nurse myself.

*And I didn't have any more plastic bags.

*He Who...PROJECTS, a 6th grader, was working rather quietly this morning.  Then he interrupted the fiftieth holiday food/memories/trauma discussion of the day.

HW...P: Do you have any friendship bracelets?

Ms. Sheep:, not on me.  But I remember those.  Do you remember those Mrs. New Teaching Assistant?

NTA:  Oh yeah!  I used to wear them pinned to my jeans.  And do you remember how long it took to make them while you were pretending to do actual work in study hall...

(HW...P waited patiently for this round of geriatric reminiscences to wind down before turning the conversation back his way.)

HW...P: Can you check your desk? I need friendship bracelets.

MS:  Well, I could check.  But I'm 99% sure I'd know if I had friendship bracelets in there.

HW...P: Oh.  But I need them.  Where can we get them?

MS:  Why exactly do you need friendship bracelets so badly?  I can try to get some for you, but I think I need a little more information.

HW...P:  See this book?  It's on World War II.  I think WWII was terrible and I don't want it to happen again.  I want to start giving friendship bracelets to the Axis and Allied powers now before it gets out of hand.

*OK.  You just try to tell me that isn't a-freaking-dorable.  I dare you.  Just try.

*I hate to get ahead in my reading what with all the time off coming up.  What will be left for those long lazy days???

*I finished The Neon Court (Matthew Swift).

*And I just couldn't wait to start The Minority Council (Matthew Swift).

*What can I say?  I'm weak.  I'll just have to come up with a plan B for the Thanksgiving break and other assorted long weekends.

*Hoping to finish the audio version of Beautiful Redemption (Beautiful Creatures).  I'm barely commuting at all these days and I fear I might forget everything that happens in between long drives to work.

*I don't know if that's going to pan out, but I'm going to give it the ol' college try.

*Missing out on a really good Car Book is one of the drawbacks to LWS.

*But I'm going to try and find a way to live with that.

OK.  That should just about do it.  I'm running out of steam and I think I'm due for my evening snack.  Which will probably be something that I normally only eat on a weekend because I don't have to go to school tomorrow and that's kind of like a weekend.

If you stretch it.  Which I am because I am suffering from LWS and no one can hold me really accountable anymore.



Gracey is not my name.... said...

OMG! Pants in a bag..yup..that's what they would think! Totally cracked me up...and awww...friendship bracelets

Julia G said...

Air lifting friendship bracelets over the world's hot spots - that's adorbs! And I seem to recall Exhibit A, the photo of the AGK hanging from the drapes in the quest of spider plant salad - the classic cat burglar LOL. If it helps, my eldest used to wear sport shorts under his slightly baggy chinos, which made the whole changing for gym thing a little easier. And you are so right, pie makes everything better!

trek said...

Oh my! I am grinning like a fool about the jeans in a shopping bag!

Hope the doctor's appointment goes well today...

kmkat said...

The friendship bracelet kid will be a future secretary-general of the UN. Or head of UNICEF or the United Way or something. That is the sweetest thing I have read in long time.