Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Thursday Night Bullet Post. Seriously.

Do not tell me it is Wednesday.  I don't even want to hear it.  This is the longest week in the history of EVER and I cannot bear to hear that tomorrow isn't Friday.  I know that tomorrow is going to be a bit of a letdown, but I don't care.  In the here and now, I prefer to think of myself as being closer to the weekend than anything a mere Wednesday could boast.

That said, I am still going to do the weekly bullet points.

*I looked at the sock today.  

*Not to knit.  It just got tangled up in the computer cord, is all.

*I have a vacation next week.  Perhaps I'll see fit to wrangle a stitch or two once the trials and tribulations of my middle school teaching career are on hold.

*Sometimes I like to think of myself as very sophisticated and cosmopolitan.

*Usually I get a slap-down and the reality of my less-than-urban existence is made plain.

*You know you live in a rural area when you can march into the school's main office brandishing a feather and bellowing, "TURKEYS ARE SOOOO STUPID!!" without anyone requiring further explanation.

*For those of you who are more on the sophisticated and cosmopolitan end of the scale and since it has been a while since Thanksgiving, I shall expand upon this just a bit.

*Turkeys are not aerodynamic creatures by nature.

*Turkeys lack anything remotely resembling common sense.

*Turkeys, even the younger females not raised on farms and high fat diets, are on the large side.

*Turkeys like to think they are graceful and given to flight.

*They are not but, if you refer to the second Turkey Point, you can understand why they might be easily convinced.

*Turkeys that try to fly across the road ahead of your car will inevitably smack into your bumper.

*Then they will shake themselves and have the nerve to look miffed as they stagger off into the woods because they don't understand the laws around cutting off motorists who are tired and cranky and just trying to get to work on a Tuesday so they can say they are one day closer to their vacation.

*Turkeys are supposed to yield.  It is the law.  They are too stupid to know that.

*I had to delay entering the school and stall the entire educational process in order that I might pick turkey feathers out of my grill.

*Then spend time in the office doing my impression of a stupid turkey flying across the road and into my car for Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk.

*It was a good impression and I even included my own improvised soundtrack.

*Note:  It is not a good idea to do a stupid turkey impression with improvised soundtrack for MSWSATFD because she will then make you do it for everyone including Mr. Principal.

This one was stuck waaaaaaay down into the grille.  I've included a pencil for scale in case you think it's just a sparrow feather or something...

*No.  I don't know how the stupid turkey is doing.  

*I do not have the expertise necessary to chase a wild bird around the woods in order to administer first aid.

*I am certain that the stupid turkey's attorney will be in touch any day now. 

*The classroom was a wee bit explody today.  

*At last count, I had one box of pencils thrown at the wall, one kid inform me that he was going to beat me to death with a water bottle and one lad so thrilled with the chaos that he spent as much time as humanly possible encouraging his peers to new heights of anarchy.

*This is a little beyond the usual state of crazy and I blame it on the fact that it is not Thursday.

*And in reading news....

*I finished Thicker Than Water (Felix Castor).

*Gosh, I love this series.  May have already mentioned that, but it never hurts to toss it out there again.

*Then I started Fate (My Blood Approves, Book 2).

*I started reading Amanda Hocking because the Cheerful Teaching Assistant liked her and didn't have anyone with whom to discuss the books.

*She hasn't read these yet and needs to because now I'm without a book buddy.

*It seems only fair.  And I have Flutter (My Blood Approves, Book 3) waiting in the wings.  

*She needs to get on this...

*There are others in the series, but I'll probably take a break after the third one.

*I picked up a copy of Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices, Book 1) because it looked too intriguing to not investigate.

*Didn't read much last night.

*Deadliest Catch premier.  'Nuff said.

*Plus I was still traumatized from the stupid turkey attack and whatnot.

*When you factor in the whole "not even close to the end of the week" and "kids in my class couldn't be worse now that vacation is so close" issues, you can certainly understand how I might be needing to stare into space numbly for a few hours.

Well, that should about cover it.  I should really be getting ready for Friday what with it being Thursday and all.  Friday is a very nice day and one I like to celebrate.  I need to rest up for the Big Friday Dance I plan to do.

Just go with it.  I know I'm just deluding myself.  But I plan on remaining in denial until I absolutely have to accept reality.  I was hit by a turkey.  I am entitled.



Lynne said...

Enjoy your vacation - it sounds like you need it!

Gracey is not my name.... said...

Hysterical! And all day yesterday I was convinced it was Wednesday...what a let down! On the up side, 2 more days, tomorrow being a 1/2 day for kids and then PD and Friday we go on a field trip to watch the local minor league baseball team...Yesterday was also a blast when the fire drill went off at bus dismissal....

Anonymous said...

A few words on the subject of turkeys.

My dad, after he retired, worked a bit for a friend who raised turkeys. He said they were the stupidest things ever. Apparently if you raise turkeys you cannot let them be outside in the rain because they will tip their heads back, open their beaks to get a drink... and drown. Duh.

Saw this the other day:

Hang in there. Only two days left...

Lu in Cali said...

OMG. Your life is incredible. Can't you find a nice quiet group to teach for a few years? Your class is a tough one.
Have a good rest on your vacation!

Mel said...

Turkeys are being particularly stupid right now because it is their breeding season. Most creatures become stupid when wrapped up in their particular courtship rituals. It's a biological fact - hormones = stupid.

Cursing Mama said...

I haven't had many stupid turkey encounters yet this spring, but I have a stupid number of photos of the damn things from last fall because 2 mama turkeys decided the house with the big dog would be a good place to raise their young. If it weren't for their ability to sit on the jungle gym play thingy they would have been Scooter Snacks.

trek said...

I've been all messed up with the days of the week and now it is worse. I read the title and had a major, "Wait, did I blo off my programming students yesterday?" moment.

Turkeys ARE so stupid but at least they aren't as lethal to automobiles as deer.

knitseashore said...

Hang in there and enjoy your vacation and new books to read!!

I am always terrified, when coming upon a gang of turkeys in the road, that they will chase me on my bike. am not sure who can outpace who.

Anonymous said...

Yeah it's Friday! You are on vacation now. Good for you.
Your turkey encounter, which I read out loud to my husband, made us both chuckle. Then we reminiscing about watching turkey's trying to fly. They looks stupid, and don't realize that they really can not fly. Hope your car is okay after trying to eat all those feathers!
Hope you have a Great Vacation.

Julia G said...

Next thing we know, you'll be painting shark teeth nose art on your grill and one or more turkey silhouettes on your fuselage :-)

Happy vacation, you've earned it!