On Monday morning, as my small Language Arts class was settling in to fake working just enough to "fool" me, He Who...PROJECTS! spoke up.
"Ms. Sheep," he said, very seriously. "There is something I forgot to tell you before I left on Friday."
"What's that?" I asked warily, fearing that he'd forgotten to chastise me for some teacherly offense and that he'd had the whole stupid weekend to work himself up into a lather over the whole thing. This would probably take up most of the morning and I had neither the time nor the energy for it.
He screwed up his face in intense concentration, took in a deep breath and said in his most projected fashion:
That was sweet and I told him so. It was nice that he remembered my casually mentioning it during a conversation earlier. But it also brought to light a fact that I am really having a hard time processing. No, it is not my advancing years. I came to terms with the forward progression of time a while ago. It was more the idea that my Natal Day comes in May. Which can only mean one thing.
It is May.
How did May get here? I am still giving serious thought to purchasing snow tires and suddenly May pops its face out of nowhere? That's just crazy.
But May it is, no doubt about that. A Taurus with my astrological chart doesn't get Birthday wishes projected into her face without M-A-Y being at the head of the calendar. Where did the time go?
Clearly another week has passed (if not many of them) so I suppose I should get on with this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post. Perhaps the very act of chronicling the days will give me some sort of perspective on the passage of time this school year.
*I had a nice enough birthday, considering.
*And by "considering" I mean I was planning to take the day off and then couldn't because the Organized Teaching Assistant had to go to a meeting for her son.
*And then he got sick so she didn't make it in to work at all.
*And then the New Teaching Assistant came in saying she'd been considering taking the day off herself but decided that she didn't need a mental health day all that badly just yet.
*Probably forgetting that I'd given up my day off because she isn't the type of person to say something like that in a cruel way.
*And then we had achievement testing all day but no one remembered to tell me about all the schedule changes so I had a short-staffed classroom and lots of extra kids roaming around.
*Finally, Jolly Boy (who is losing his jolliness by the minute these days) and Little Einstein (who isn't as smart as I thought he was given his recent choices) decided to get into a disagreement in the cafeteria and almost came to blows.
*They weren't even supposed to BE in the cafeteria but the social worker who normally has lunch with them on Fridays emailed me on Monday to let me know she was taking the day off...isn't that nice?
*Side Note: Jolly Boy came up with a witness to prove his innocence following the mid-day drama. Unfortunately, he decided to pin his hopes of acquittal upon Jolly Boy Jr., the unfortunate second player in an earlier incident with him.
*Thus causing me to yell at Mr. Principal: BOYS ARE STUPID! SERIOUSLY...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!
*But it all worked out because I bought myself a new flat iron on the way home and then HW...P! loudly reminded everyone that they'd chosen the worst possible day to not worship adoringly at my feet.
*I like it when people are loudly reminded of such things. Does this make me a bad person?
*Probably. But I'm OK with that.
*I still got a new flat iron. And birthday cake with the family on Sunday.
*Oh! And these amazing cookie/peanut butter cup/brownie things that SIL Sheep made.
*Think about that. Three of the best things in the whole world. In one thing. Together.
*I forgot all about the trials and tribulations of being an under paid and under appreciated educator who had to work on her birthday after one bite of that little heaven-nugget!!!
*I also forgot that May had snuck up on me like some kind of scary street mime. At least for a while.
*I was reminded of May when the work week started up again and the meetings came at me.
*I have lots of meetings in the spring. Mostly "transition" meetings where I sit in on educational planning sessions for the kids who will be coming to our school in the fall.
*I had the first one in March. That seemed really early to me.
*In fact, I think there might have even been a bit of snow left on the ground.
*It doesn't seem like it was that long ago...
*I am facing a wall. I don't like looking at that wall because, back in October, I put a giant hole in it.
*Actually, I didn't put a giant hole in it. The dudes that installed the stereo system in the manse did that.
*I know what you are thinking. Installed sound system? Why, Sheepie! You live in the veritable lap of luxury over there! I had no idea you were so very, very well-to-do.
*Not so much. My condo was built in the 80's. Not the cool 80's. The plastic, false wood grain AM/FM radio with cassette deck 80's.
*It was in the wall. As much as I hated the stereo in my wall, the idea of pseudo-construction didn't appeal either.
*I just avoided looking at the wall.
*Last October, I was home due to a hurricane situation so I figured I should probably use the time to fiddle with wires since Emergency Services didn't have much to do once the possibility of a hurricane passed.
*That left a giant hole in my wall. I tacked a poster over it.
*Then I remembered that, come May, I would be a 48 year old woman. 48 year old women don't have posters tacked to their walls.
*It is one thing to lie about your age. It is another thing entirely to act out one's days as if one is 17.
*I had to do something about this.
*In November, I hung a picture over the giant hole. Which is a much more mature thing to do.
*In April, I purchased a drywall patch and various patching accessories.
*It is now May. I am 48 years old. I do not have a poster tacked to my wall, but I do have a large piece of uninstalled drywall in my kitchen and patching accessories in my bedroom.
*Oh, an a giant hole in my wall but I can't see that so it doesn't affect my day to day life all that much.
*At least not as much as the big piece of drywall because that is the sort of thing I am wont to stub my toe on from time to time...
*Most of the teachers in my school can tell you exactly how many school days are left. I can't.
*Heck, I'm still not caught up with the whole "May" deal. If I get to thinking about how much I have left to do in the next 20-something days, I'll probably have to be hospitalized.
*I have to admit, I am sort of happy about May, assuming it is real and not some cruel joke. The idea that I might have survived yet another school year and lived to have nightmares about it during summer vacation is kind of cool.
*I'll miss the commute, though. I've experienced some really awesome traveling books this school year.
*I finished The Gate Thief (Mither Mages) today. I didn't like the ending at all.
*But then the author's afterword assured me there is a third and final book coming.
*Good. This one ended abruptly. And badly. Not as in "badly written."
*As in, "What?! Are you freakin' kidding me????? Oh, that's just wrong..."
*Once I'd calmed down, I cued up The Raven Boys (Raven Cycle).
*That's one I often consider whilst book shopping, but never seem to get around to.
*However, the library had a copy available for download so I thought I'd give it a whirl.
*Beautiful writing. Evocative. Characters drawn in sharp detail with six words and an inference.
*And guess what? After my Sunday Birthday Luncheon, I drove SIL Sheep home and she loaned me her copy of Cold Days: A Novel of the Dresden Files!
*I've looked at it about fifty billion times, but it seemed kinda spendy. So it went into the "someday soon" pile.
*But now I've got it and I can't believe how much I've forgotten about the previous volume.
*It's all coming back to me now. And I remember why Harry Dresden always makes me so sad. He just doesn't catch a break. Ever.
*Sometimes it's funny. But it's sad in equal measure.
*I also think I missed him. It's nice to have a Dresden Files book back in my hands!
*It also helps to know that I'm not the only one who lost a bit of time, although mine is more due to lack of attention.
*Not so much with the Almost Dead And Bound Into Service By A Very Mean Lady.
*Even if it sometimes feels like that after a long school day...
Nope. May still doesn't seem real to me. I'll probably get a handle on it sometime around August 3rd or so. Meanwhile, I'll just keep watching everyone walking around in sandals and wondering why my feet are so darned hot in boots. With any luck, I'll catch on in time to get my report cards done and maybe enjoy a little summer break before I have to start all over again.
Or I could just sit and stare at the dappled summer sunlight dancing across the Giant October Wall Hole until it all makes sense again...
The Story of the Sweatshop
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