WNBP: In Lieu Of A Schedule....

I am having a hard time settling into this summer vacation.  As problems go, this is pretty minor.  It is nothing when compared to, say, war or ingrown toenails.  But I still can't help but feel as if I should be on some sort of a schedule now that I'm fully immersed in Week Two.  I just can't seem to get a foothold.

Maybe the Wednesday Night Bullet Post will help.  Sometimes indulging in a little stream of consciousness allows one to see a pattern.  A nugget of normalcy will show up as one pans through the crazy.

Of course, it could also result in my confirming that I've gone full-on crazy pants, but I'm hoping for the former.  Let's see how it goes...

*It's the insomnia that is getting to me, I think.


*New meds have led to some "interesting" moments here at the manse.


*I'm either a brain dead zombie or a chattering monkey girl on caffeinated bananas and neither one is lending itself to establishing a summer routine.


*It has gotten markedly better as the days go by, but true sleep still eludes me.


*Getting in a few extra Zs in the morning would make things ever so much better, but that isn't going to happen.


*I'm sure you can guess why.

They lurk in the darkness and pounce without warning.  

*And no.  Shutting them out of the bedroom isn't going to help.


*Shutting them out of the bedroom only results in furry bodies slamming themselves against said closed door until someone gets up and makes it be open again.


*And that is the Least Creepy Version.  In the Very Creepy Version,  The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty gets his paws wrapped around the doorknob and starts rattling it like a serial killer.


*I don't care for that.  Nor can I sleep through it.  That's the thing with cats and serial killers...


*Fortunately, insomnia is a temporary thing.  Eventually, I will sleep.


*Even better, I see something of a pattern!


*The cats are getting me up at the crack of omigod every morning without fail!


*Would you believe I started this post almost an hour ago?


*And that I've lost it three times?


*That is also a kind of consistency, but not the good kind.


*Let's hope things go better from here because I'm not entirely sure my addled, sleep deprived brain can stick with a task as complex as rambling on in print for anything longer than an hour.


*Have you ever wanted to go running through the streets shouting, "The new garlic is here!  The new garlic is here!"?


*I have.  I wanted to do that today.


*Went to the Farmers Market and the new garlic was there.


*I actually made a cooing noise and petted it.


*I am fond of new garlic with all its mild flavor and intoxicating aroma.


*Not as effective against vampires, but very tasty.


*Also got some potatoes.


*Have you ever knit something so unbearably cute, so tiny and sweet, so itty-bitty and darling that you just wanted to give in and have a baby of your own?


*Yeah.  Me either.  But I have been knitting a few baby items of late and I find them unbelievably adorable in all their wee sweetness.


*Niece Sheep is having a girl child.


*First baby of that flavor to wander into our sphere in a while so I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to do things all girly.


*This is cute, too.

*But don't try to put a little pink hat on him because that will not end well even if you just want to see if it will fit him and how it looks when worn.


*Cats don't wear hats.  Unless they are on the internet and then only if it's YouTube.


*Another constant.


*I am not going to have a baby even if he/she would consent to wearing a hat because I'm pretty sure I can find a small melon or something that would work just as well and not demand to be put through college.


*The up side to not sleeping as much is that I've had ample time in which to read.


*I finally figured out why I was so mad at Queen Victoria while I was reading that other book a while back.


*I knew there was a reason, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.


*Then I remembered.  It wasn't that book that made me hate the queen.  That book had a nice queen.


*It was The Affinity Bridge (Newbury & Hobbes Investigations) that made me hate that mean old Victoria!!


*And she doesn't get any better in the next two books either.


*I thought I was going crazy hating on the queen like that.  Turns out I was right.  Sort of.  If the real Queen Victoria was scheming, half-dead, barely human what with all the clockwork machinery keeping her alive and bitter beyond all belief anyway...


*At long last, I finally indulged in the book I've been waiting for.


*It was something I wanted to read during summer vacation because it was last summer when I read the first two.


*Since I was awake and had nothing better to do at 2:00 in the morning, I figured I might as well go for it.


*Blackout (The Newsflesh Trilogy)


*This trilogy has a surprisingly complex plot and I probably should have gone back to read the first two books before starting this one, but I couldn't wait.


*I'm catching up with stuff pretty well.  It almost doesn't feel like it's been a year since last I checked in on poor George and Shaun...


*Here's the thing you should know about these books:  The first one is amazing.  The second one is crazy good.  The third one is very, very good.  In that order.


*And the third one has a zombie bear in it.  Seriously.  He's sort of offstage, but still.  It's a ZOMBIE BEAR, PEOPLE!!!!


*I'm not quite finished, but it appears there are far fewer of the dead things in this book than the others.  It isn't really about the zombies at this point.  It's about the live humans and the nasty stuff they do in a world gone utterly mad.


*I think some people might get turned off because of the Walking Dead angle, but don't be a hater.  I think this series will appeal to more readers than one might think given the breadth of the conflicts and the brilliant writing.  The characters are some of the best developed I've seen in a long time.


Well, I don't know as I've really managed to come up with enough of a pattern to develop a summer routine, but I guess I didn't expect I would.  I'm tired.  I almost left the house in my slippers this morning.  Really high level thinking is beyond me these days, but I don't feel too badly.  There were glimmers of something in all that rambling.

Of course might be the glimmer of a tin foil hat, but let's see if I can get a little sleep tonight before I start down that path...

SA

WNBP: Postcards From The Manse

When last we left our intrepid Sheepie, she had managed to muddle through the last two days of poor student behavior, the emotional departure of the Cheerful Teaching Assistant and the packing up of her classroom for yet another summer break.  All that was left to her at that point was two days of teacher workshops, a Saturday dinner to celebrate Father's Day with various family members and the knowledge that she could stay up an extra hour on Sunday night if she could somehow keep her eyes open during the day.

I feel like I let people down with my summer vacation plans.  I'm often asked what I'm going to do during my months of downtime and I rarely have a good answer.  I'm a putterer.  I'm not a world traveler.  I hang around the manse and periodically do stuff that may or may not make my habitation here more tolerable.  That's about it, except for the rampant appointments I seem to schedule during my vacation.  But those are unavoidable if I wish to remain healthy and able to drive my car without warning lights flashing at me in an alarming fashion.

As boring as it may be, it is what I have to offer in this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  Let's see if I can make it all sound a bit more glamorous...

*It has been a very mild spring here.  Even chilly enough for the electric blanket on several nights.


*That is over.  The weather has taken a turn for the Triple H.


*Hazy.


*Hot.


*Humid.


*It all just came crashing down on us today.  I, however, keep remembering the searing temperatures of last year and keep it all in perspective.


*Tomorrow promises to bring more of the same, although I hear tell a sea breeze might make things more bearable.


*I am using much of my newly acquired vacation time to catch up with Coronation Street episodes.


*I was running about six months behind, but recently decided to skip ahead a bit.


*It's not like I haven't been cheating and reading story lines on the website anyway...


*I was not, however, going to take the trip forward in time before seeing Becky bring down that horrible, no-good Tracy at her sham of a wedding to good-hearted, but seemingly stupid Steve!!!


*It seems that the good people at ITV were not particularly open to my viewing this.  Apparently they suddenly got all picky about copyrights and whatnot.


*Which is so totally unfair because it is not my fault that my ancestors decided to wander over to this continent all those years ago, thus rendering me incapable of watching certain programming without the help of YouTube.


*Thankfully, there are kindly people across the pond who don't hold my citizenship against me and found a way to post that episode.  It took some searching, but it was WORTH IT!!!!!


*Now I can fast forward without regret or the feeling that I'm missing something wicked awesome.


*I hate to violate copyrights.  But it isn't my fault.  Plus I've linked to them.  I'm sharing. This should ease my pangs of guilt...


*I sat through two very long days of teacher workshops last week.  Very long.


*I knit a hat.  A very tiny pinkish hat that I cannot photograph at the moment.


*It is cute.  Trust me.  There is fuzziness and something that isn't quite a bow involved.


*One of the "getting to know you" activities at the workshop was that game where you tell two truths and a lie.  Then you see if people can guess the lie.


*My lie was that I am getting married next month.


*You'd be surprised how many people believed that.


*Wee, little hat might have confused matters...


*I wonder if they will throw me a shower of some sort once school reopens.


*If so, I hope it is a wedding shower and not the other kind.  I could use a new toaster and some napkin rings.


*Diaper Genie...not so much.


*I gave myself two days off before starting in with all the appointments I try to get out of the way during summer vacation.


*I napped a lot and canned some chicken.


*I'd show you a picture of the chicken, but there is nothing more disgusting that looking at a jar of chicken.


*It tastes really good.  Very tender.  And it keeps for a long time.


*Which is great when the weather is nasty and you can't go shopping.


*Or the zombie apocalypse finally happens like I've been saying it will for years now.


*No one will be laughing at my home canned chicken during the apocalypse.


*They might gag a bit, but they won't laugh.


*Today I went to see Doctor Judy for a med review.


*Meds need changing.  Sheepie has developed a tolerance for her current prescription.


*Now instead of my nice time release pill, I have to take two.


*Probably better to adjust to that schedule during the summer instead of trying to remember to take a pill at school.


*I can be like the kids and go see the nurse at lunchtime for meds.  That would be fun.


*Standing in line then having her check to make sure I took it...


*It's not really like that.  There aren't that many kids on medications, contrary to popular media myths.


*It's just the image of it that makes me think I need to practice taking a pill two times per day.


*Today was my first trip to The Farmer's Market and the Weekly Visit With The Vegetables.


*There weren't many vegetables.  I found some strawberries since those came into season early this year due to all the rain.


*Then I bought a basil plant.  Then I bought a rosemary plant.


*Need something to entertain my new grow light.


*By the time I got to the guy who actually had a few veggies, I was out of cash and too hot to keep standing in the sun anyway.


*July is the better month for most veggies here.


*Also better to go before it is almost closing time at the market.


*Next week I will be more organized and won't' have a doctor's appointment in the middle of it all.


*The strawberries are delightful and I will probably eat them all before I get around to making something with them.


*I'm OK with that.


*I happen to have some caramel sauce.  It all worked out.


*More time to read these days.  I decided to go back and visit with my friends over at the Twenty Palaces Society. (Child of Fire: A Twenty Palaces Novel)


*You kind of have to be in the mood for these books.  A few of the characters are a little off-putting.


*And my heart bleeds for the narrator, at least in the first book.  He is just so...put upon!


*Take heart.  Things get better for him!


*Then I discovered that The Janus Affair: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel was out and, while Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel wasn't my absolute favorite book in the whole wide world, I didn't hate it.


*Of course, I'd forgotten more about the first book that I realized and was confusing it mightily with at least two other series, but I eventually got the hang of it all.


*Worth the download and certainly good for summer reading!


*I wouldn't say that reading steam punk on such a steamy day is wise, but it only gets bad if you start thinking about it too much...



It is really just too hot to type anymore so I'm stopping there.  I think I've managed to prove my point regarding my vacation aspirations.  What can I say? There is a marked lack of conga lines in my version of summer break.  It is the best I can do.  I'd like to tell you that things will get better, but they probably won't.

Tomorrow I'm going in for an oil change.  Maybe next week I'll get that giant crack in my windshield fixed.  Then there is the summer bone density testing to look forward to...

SA

WNBP: You Gotta Laugh...

Yesterday was the last day of school for the students.  The remainder of this week is to be devoted to teacher workshops and packing, allowing us to get the massive task of moving half the building and finishing up the end-of-year paperwork in relative peace.  Not having the kids around certainly makes for a less stressful atmosphere, but I still woke up this morning with a sick feeling in my stomach.

As half the staff prepares to move out of the building and longstanding working relationships are severed, there is a great deal of emotional baggage being scattered around the hallways along with the boxes.  That, I can avoid since I'm fairly good at navigating rough terrain when I need to, but there was one piece of the Middle School Long Goodbye I was going to have to face.  I've been avoiding it for weeks.  I've put off dealing with it.  But there really wasn't any time left for that, I realized as the alarm blatted away at me this morning.  I had to come to terms with it.

Today was The Cheerful Teaching Assistant's last day.

We've been separated once before.  It happened a few years ago and was a circumstantial thing, something over which we had no control.  This time, however, it was very much by design.  It came out of a great deal of consideration and painful decision making.

We had two choices before us.  The CTA could carry on as my awesome teacher's assistant as she has for many years now.  She is held in high regard by all and would be a welcome member of the new staff dynamic.  On the other hand, she could take the position at the high school where, hopefully, a few more doors might open up for her and that shiny new teaching certificate she recently earned can be put to use.

The first option would be great for me.  The latter would be better for her and, ultimately, the students she will someday have in her English classes.  It was really a no-brainer when all was said and done.

The CTA and I have worked together a long time.  We know each other well.  We enjoy the same sense of humor and have shared more than a few belly laughs over the things kids say.  We even got in the habit of jotting them down as the years went by so we wouldn't forget.  She also knows that I am not one for big, mushy displays so we kept our farewell scene to the absolute minimum.  It's best to remember the good times and be grateful for having had someone of a similar mind set with which to share them.

She also knew that the more appropriate way to give me a card that might cause me to make all kinds of wet, blubbery, snuffing sounds would be to slip it into my bag where I'd find it later rather than give it to me right in the middle of the classroom.  It is best we not discuss that lest I dribble all over my keyboard.  But we can spend some time sharing the little book of student quotes she put together for me.  Some of them are sort of situational and probably wouldn't make a lick of sense to you, but others can certainly stand alone.  In fact, they make for perfect bullet post fodder.

So, tonight's WNBP comes to you straight from the Cheerful Teaching Assistant and several years worth of student commentary.  And maybe a few from good old Ms. Sheep as well...


*"Muscles jiggle anyway.  Haven't you ever seen a bear run?"


*"It's not gory.  It's just the fast paced cutting off of limbs."


*(From Ms. Sheep, after a day where it seemed that everyone was dumping on her) "There is a chain of poop.  Not everyone can poop on me.  I have to have someone to poop on, too!  POOP IS A CHAIN!"


*"These are better than girls!  I'd give up girls for these cookies."


*(Older student to Younger Student) Be gone annoying child.  Hello nothing in that chair."


*(Student singing about the gigantic bag he carries to school) "I like big bags and I cannot lie!"


*"We used to be able to just make paper mache ducks and now we have to plan for the future!!"


"I can run a 10 minute jog in 5 minutes!!!"


*"Do you think I can be in a men's shampoo commercial? (hair flip) ELEGANCE! (hair flip) MANLINESS...what?  I have manly hair!


*(Said to Ms. Sheep after she groaned loudly in frustration) "I didn't know you spoke whale!"


*"Um...I'm stuck in a box.  Help.  Please."


*"I'm gonna start my own school and it's gonna have blackjack and field trips and chicken pot pie!"


*"My mother's a Scorpio and my grandmother's an Aries.  So you can see how that worked out."


*"I think there's a little Japanese man inside of all of us..."


*(Said by Ms. Sheep)  "Don't tie yourself up anymore, please."


*"I know she smells better than Mrs. X and Mrs. X smells like the finest bathroom spray in all of Britain!"


*"I don't carry this big black cloud over me all the time.  I'm a victim of circumstance."


*"Usually you listen to my stories, nod your head, praise what I do and I feel happy."


*"I swear to God I feel like I have no pants on today."



Good stuff.  And it doesn't even include the "inside jokes" that wouldn't really make sense unless you were there.  Maybe even if you were there...

 These are the things that make me chuckle and that is a nice thing to be able to do when emotional goodbyes have overshadowed the day.  It is nice to say that you worked with someone who understood the importance of laughter in a tough working situation.  It is even better to have a few inside jokes to keep things light when the going gets tough.  Maybe no one else will fully appreciate my final words to the CTA, the ones I shouted through the raindrops and across the puddly parking lot, but it cracked us up pretty good.

"I will be your cupcake monkey!!!"


SA

WNBP: In Other Words..."Done."

There is an interesting little psychological process known as "termination." This occurs when a person is involved in the ending of some sort of relationship, usually a significant one. It isn't a big deal. Or it is, depending upon the depth of the relationship, but it is perfectly normal and super-duper healthy if you do it right.

I happen to be in the midst of a gi-normous flood of termination these days.  Normally, it is just the 8th graders who are bidding us a fond farewell.  This usually takes the form of more-than-the-usual-level of crying girls and a whole bunch of kids roaming the halls because they have finally figured out that we can't really do much about it given the time we have left.

This year, however, is different.  With the massive restructuring going on in my school district (a generally positive thing but massive nonetheless) every single human in the building is going through some kind of termination process.  Even the staff, over half of which are moving up to the high school leaving the other half to deal with new colleagues and schedules.  We have four days left and all of a sudden the whole place has gone into emotional overload.

I am wrung dry and capable of nothing less than bullet points now.  It is a very good thing that today is Wednesday...

*Another word for termination is "done."


*I am very much done with this school year no matter what the calendar says.


*Termination can also mean "fired."


*Something I have begged for but cannot seem to achieve.


*In the words of Mr. Assistant Principal, "I don't care.  Your contract says you have to come back tomorrow."


*This was shouted at me through his office window yesterday as I staggered to the parking lot and while Mr. Principal called from behind him something about how I might feel better if I baked something and brought it into work tomorrow.


*Little Einstein was feeling a bit frisky yesterday and somehow managed to get up high enough to start removing ceiling tiles.


*Today I had two staff meetings.  One for my department.  Another full staff meeting.


*In case no one thought to remind me beforehand, it was mentioned several times that these were the last staff meetings for this particular "staff."


*The first one had donuts.


*The latter did not and it was after school.


*There was a great deal of emoting at both.


*I am not terminating right now.  Please do not think less of me.  I do, in fact, have a heart.  And a soul.


*But I move around a lot in this district.  I don't form the kinds of relationships like the middle school staff has.


*Seriously.  This group is tighter than any I've ever seen.  Ever.  We are talking decades of bonding here.


*Fishing trips.  Parties.  Please-won't-you-be-my-maid-of-honor type relationships.


*I am sensitive to that.  I am respectful of that.  I actually am kind of in awe of that.


*But the open mic policy afforded today's afternoon staff meeting was a little over the top.


*There was a great deal of "sharing."  Really emotional sharing.


*Then the human resources lady came to answer health insurance questions.


*Yeah...the human resources lady wasn't exactly well-placed in the agenda...


*Once it became clear how this meeting was going to go, someone leaned over to me and whispered, "I'll bet you wish you brought your knitting now, don't you?"


*This year, I am saying my final farewells to the last group of kids with whom I have a ridiculous amount of history.


*Some I've had in my class since they were in kindergarten.


*The Future Farmer.


*Spunky Girl.


*The Phuture Physicist.


*All are taller than me now.


*All are moving on.


*That is weird...


*I used to be able to pick them up.


*Now they help me lift the heavy things I can't quite manage.


*Cue the sappy music...


*The Boy Who Likes To Shout Toot Toot somehow ended up standing in a drinking fountain yesterday.


*He was making a point.


*I still don't know what it was...


*I was too busy trying to keep Little Einstein from squirming into a heating duct to ponder it too much.


*If I survive all this termination business, I'll be able to read more.


*I was delighted to find that Cursed (Alex Verus) was available.


*A quick read and a really nicely put together story.


*Evil Dark: An Occult Crime Unit Investigation is an inexpensive digital download but absolutely worth looking into.


*I read the first one a while back and, although I'd forgotten quite a bit of the story line, I picked it back up fairly quickly.


*Sort of like Dragnet in the supernatural world.


*I'm not done with that one yet.  Should be soon.


*Why is my ankle hot?  My ankle has been hot all day and I have no idea why.


*Not hurt.  Hot.  Warmish, really.  Maybe a little more than warm, but not so much that it burns.


*Hot.  Weird.  And I'd kind of like it to stop just because I worry that it might be a rare zombie-type infection and that would irritate me greatly right before summer vacation.


*Tomorrow is Thursday.  I have to go back to school where everyone is really emotional and the kids roam the hallways looking for things to climb.


*This really needs to end soon...


I'm calling this post "done."  I think there are a couple of cats who would like to see the start of dinner preparations and who don't much care about Mommy needing to discuss termination issues.  I'm OK with that.  This is something I can actually fix.

Unlike kids scaling drinking fountains and colleagues who spontaneously burst into emotional bouts of "do you remember the time..."  I'm just not built for this.

SA

WNBP: It's A Numbers Game

The thing about long weekends is that, with Monday out of the way, Wednesday rolls around pretty darned quick. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.  The idea of a shorter work week is delightful. However, the day-count gets a bit muddled and I darned near lost track of myself before remembering the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.

While I'm fairly certain the world would have kept right on spinning had I not hit the blogging circuit, I still think it would have resulted in some confusion.  At least for me.  I really need Wednesday to keep me grounded, you see.

Let's take a gander at the Wonderful World Of Sheepie and tally up the events of which it is made:

*According to Deadliest Catch, King/Blue crab season managed to start and end with reasonably good crab counts for most.


*Not all.  Most.  That stupid Elliot couldn't seem to take a hint and, as such, wasn't anywhere near where he should have been come the season finale.


*That's what you get with a young, egocentric captain, right?


*Junior told him not to move.  He told him to be patient.  But did he listen?  No he did not.


*I felt rather smug about the whole thing so it's probably good I'm not a crab boat captain.


*All the other captains would hate me and my poor attitude and I'd never have anyone to talk to when I was bored at sea.


*I was awake at 6:00 Saturday morning.  That is early for a Saturday.


*But Memorial Day Weekend marks one of my favorite events: My parent's annual cookout and gathering of many, many relatives.


*Ribs are grilled, beans are baked and lemon bars are presented unto me.


*The least I can do is bake Cheesy Bread.


*Actually, it is not the least I can do.  It is the one thing I must do.  Seriously.  I can't even get in the door without it.


*I am not bragging when I say I make amazing Cheesy Bread.  I am stating a fact.  I know this because everyone has told me so it must be true.


*Again, the crab boat captains would just hate me...


*Whatever.  I was up at 6:00 on Saturday morning so I could bake 6 (count 'em SIX) loaves of bread and a dozen rolls.


*The rolls were kind of an afterthought but I was already hot and exhausted so I figured I might as well keep going with the carb production.


*I'm popular at the annual cookout.


*When I arrived with my 5 (count 'em FIVE) loaves of cheesy bread, there was great joy.


*Yeah, I kept one.  Don't judge.


*I also happen to think I make pretty good cheesy bread...


*If you come to my school, you will see a whole lot of adults wandering around muttering.


*The mutterings all involve a number of some sort.


*Today's numbers were 9 and 10.


*As in, "If I count today, I only have 10 days left."

*Or, "After today, I only have to get through 9 days without locking a child in the utility closet and my criminal record will remain unblemished for another year."

*At our weekly meeting, our director once again bemoaned the fact that we are getting out a week earlier this year and how little time we have left to get everything done.


*Crazy woman...


*That said, I don't see any way I'm going to get everything done but I'm still not requesting an extra week of school.


*I can't get anything done with the kids around.  They are needy and tend to hit each other with textbooks when I try to do paperwork or answer the five million phone calls that are coming in on a daily basis.


*Today, Little Einstein managed to get his entire body inside his t-shirt.


*To make room, he stuck his head out of his sleeve.

*"Look!" he cried. "I don't have armpit hair...I have armpit FACE!!!"

*He is really smart.  I swear it.  I've seen his test scores.


*I took a picture and sent it to his mother because she is the type to appreciate that kind of thing.


*Plus I think that all moms want something to put in the wallet and flash around for bragging rights.

*"Here is my son.  The genius.  Demonstrating the complicated concept of Armpit Face.  One day, he will win the Nobel Prize, I'm sure!"


*The Siren (who lures the boys to their doom with her clarion call) has gone completely on strike and is now only coming to school so I can read Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, Book 2) to her.


*She spends less time luring the boys to their doom if I comply so I do it.


*Things get horribly loud when the clarion call backfires and the males start infighting.


*I am never going to finish this book by the end of the year.  Much less the third in the trilogy.


*I've checked the numbers on this.  Pages vs. Days.  Hours vs. Words.


*Ms. Sheep's Patience vs. The Siren's Attendance Record And Time Spent Cooling Her Heels In The Office.


*Stuff like that...


*When I wasn't baking a truckload of bread this weekend, I was reading Eye of the Tempest (Jane True, Book 4).


*I wandered back towards this series recently and suddenly felt the need to find out what happens next.


*Good stuff, save for the author's tendency to overuse pop culture references.  


*Not a crime or anything.  It just tends to date a book and make it a little less "relevant" later on.


*That aside, I love the first person, heavy on the snark prose.


*I loves me some snark!


*Let's add that to the list of reasons all the crab boat captains will shun me.


*Does that put me up to three?  Four?  


*With the number of school days left down to single digits, I'm listing all the things I want to do this summer.


*If I count naps, learning Cantonese and ending world hunger, that list is longer than my arm.


*I'll probably manage the naps but the rest doesn't look good...


Yes, it certainly seems to be all about the numbers these days.  How many days of school are left.  How many of those days will include heat and/or humidity.  The length of my sentence should I give in to the urge to herd them all out the door and into the woods to fend for themselves...

Counting keeps it real.  And helps with the focus when all I really want to do is stay home, bake bread and watch my favorite crab boat captains once Opilio season starts.

SA

WNBP: Time Marches On

Hard to believe it, but another Wednesday is here.  Frankly, I am kind of stunned by the rapid approach of June.  When did that happen?  The last clear memory I have is of taking down the Christmas tree, although I think I might have some vague recollection of discounted Valentine's Day candy making it into my home at some point.

I could wax philosophical about the passage of time, but that sort of thing tends to get a bit "rambly" so I think we shall just stick with the Wednesday Night Bullet Post for now.  There is always time to go to the "Oh dear, however did I get here and where did my lost youth go?" place if I so choose.

Probably best to not subject the blogosphere to that anyway...

*I managed to muddle through another birthday last week with few, if any, ill effects.


*I think that might have something to do with the fact that I took the day off from school and away from the children who might attempt to make that a kind of "challenging" day for me.


*Staying home to eat fried chicken and chocolate cake while the kidlets remain in the classroom making aesthetically "unique" birthday cards is the best way to go when one's natal day rolls around.


*I was supposed to have Friday off for a doctor's appointment, but another member of my staff also needed that day so I didn't get the long weekend I'd promised myself.


*In hindsight, taking the actual birthday off was really the better way to go...


*I was in a meeting today where my director said, "The reason we are all so stressed out is because we have one week less to work with this year.  The mild weather and resulting lack of snow days is forcing us to scramble to get it all done."


*We all nodded and added our own personal tales of time management woe which resulted from this shortened school year.


*Then we paused to realize how utterly stupid we sounded because this has been The School Year From Hell and why the heck are we bemoaning a week less of it?????


*I'm putting my current time/workload imbalance in perspective from this point forward.


*My birthday gift to me this year was a thick slab of foam.  Two inches of polyurethane.  Another two inches of the "memory" kind.


*This, when added to my aging mattress, has created a most delightful sleeping experience.  My hip hardly hurts at all!


*The joy with which I made this purchase and the number of people I am willing to tell about it horrifies me on many, many levels.


*Sore hip.  New mattress support system to accommodate it.  For my birthday.  Ye Gods!!!


*How did I get to this place in life??????


*I don't care.  I like it.


*As do the cats.  I have to squiggle around to find a spot where I can sleep.


*Which is why my hip doesn't hurt anymore, but my back is killing me.


*The Siren (who lures the boys to their doom with her clarion call) is celebrating the end of the school year with great gusto and a marked lack of academic interest.


*The only thing that soothes her jangled teenaged angst is being read to.


*And, since the book she wants to hear is currently not available through the school library and I can't seem to remember to buy it, I finally downloaded it to my little ereader.


*I now read Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, Book 2) until I am hoarse and begging for water.


*The Siren isn't exactly sympathetic.


*If summer vacation ever does arrive, will The Very Complicated Kitty come to terms with the fact that I am not getting up at 4:30 anymore?


*He doesn't seem to understand this on the weekends.  I honestly don't think things are going to work out any better for me come June.


*Memory foam doesn't make him sleep any longer than he does normally.


*I'm not sure whether it is a good thing that I discovered I can access episodes of Coronation Street on YouTube.  That is the sort of thing that could get a person in trouble.  It can suck up hours and hours of one's time.  One can lose entire weekends.


*Sue me.  It's a guilty pleasure.  I'm not proud of it.


*But c'mon!!!  How bad can it really be for me?  It's been on for, like, fifty years.  It can't be actually harmful...


*Although I do find myself talking kind of oddly after a while.  Sort of a hybrid accent that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  That might not be good...


*Oh, glorious news on the Sheepish Annie Zombie Apocalypse Front!!!


*Blackout (The Newsflesh Trilogy) is out!!  And I have it!!!


*I've waited almost a WHOLE YEAR for this!!!


*Maybe I'm a little overexcited about the whole thing.  Except I don't think I am.


*I think I am actually the correct about of excited when you take everything into consideration.


*But I'm waiting to start it.  I'd already been re-reading Tracking the Tempest (Jane True) and I figure anticipation can only make all that zombie goodness better.


*Might even wait until summer vacation starts just to kick things off with a good, old fashioned undead bang.


*Meanwhile, I'm almost finished listening to Beautiful Creatures (Beautiful Creatures, Book 1) during the morning commute.


*And now I have a dilemma.  I probably don't have enough school time left to listen to the next one in the series.  A responsible person would wait and save it for the fall.


*I am not a responsible person and, deep down, I think I know that.  


*For now, though, I am staying the course.


*If I falter, just talk about me behind my back.  I'll probably not be open to reminders that I shouldn't be listening to something that I will really want to listen to in the fall.


*I don't want to talk about September.


*The Sheepish Family Memorial Day Cookout is this weekend and oodles of Sheepish Family members are making their way to our corner of the globe perhaps even as we speak!


*Daddy Sheep has reminded me twice to bring the Cheesy Bread.  


*This is necessary because I am old and forget things.


*And I'm not sure I'm allowed to come to the cookout if I don't have Cheesy Bread.


*Picture a herd of angry Sheepish Relatives driving me out of the homestead with torches and pitchforks and the like.


*That's not really true.  I think people would get past it.  


*On the other hand, if my aunt and uncle didn't bring the lemon bars, I'd probably stage a tantrum of epic proportions so who knows?  


*I'm making the bread on Friday.  Probably a couple of extra loaves on Saturday morning just to be on the safe side.


*There is, after all, a little extra time to play with during this holiday weekend.


*And who doesn't like it when time slows down for just a bit?  Especially during the hectic last few weeks of the school year?


And speaking of time, Da Boyz seem to think that their dinner time has arrived.  The clock says we have another ten minutes, but I don't believe I have a lot of wiggle room here.  They are currently taking time away from co-opting my new mattress and are hanging their heads over the computer monitor.  The yowling I can handle, but the drooling is probably going to start any moment now and I can't see how that is good for electronics.

When did the cats learn how to tell time, anyway?

SA

WNBP: The Things People Say...

Another Wednesday Night Bullet Post is on the schedule and I can't help but use it to reflect upon the things that have been said to me lately.  I generally try to avoid talking to the humans whenever possible.  However, since I have to work, shop and periodically get the mail, I sometimes have to suck it up and interact.

That is when people say stuff.  It is a necessary risk, I fear.  I'll share one or two of these little tidbits as I process the past seven days in bullet point format.  Perhaps it will all make sense to me then...

*I finally managed to make my way over to the DMV and secure a new driver's license.


*I remembered my birth certificate.


*As well as a back up copy of something that looked official and seemed to indicate that Mommy and Daddy Sheep were graced with a living, breathing, snotty-faced girl child many moons ago.


*I also brought along several utility bills, none of which were yet paid and all of which seemed to indicate some loss of a very important service in the near future.


*This is how I was supposed to prove that, in addition to being born, I also reside somewhere.


*The nice lady didn't ask for the unpaid bills.


*The "please take a number machine" was broken.


*Someone had written numbers on sticky notes and stuck them all over the machine.


*We all figured it out.


*I am one of the lucky individuals who is going to help shake up the renewal rotation by only getting four years out of this license instead of the usual six.


*The nice lady, who probably has been taking a lot of guff about this lately said the following to me in a very nice, loud tone:

"No!  This is a GOOD thing!  You see, when you come up for your next renewal you will be FIFTY-ONE.  Wait...let me do the math again.  Yes.  FIFTY-ONE!!!  You will be excused from The Mandatory Old Person Eye Test because only fifty-two year old people have to do that.  And you will be FIFTY-ONE!!  Did you hear me?  Shall I repeat it?  Louder, perhaps?"

*I did not punch the nice lady in the throat.  I wanted to.  No jury would convict me, of this I am certain.


*But she really was a very nice lady and clearly so thrilled by my good fortune that I didn't have the heart.


*I shared this horrific story several times today.


*Little Einstein, who was working on his math under a pile of discarded cardboard in the other room overheard me telling the Various Teaching Assistants.

*"Hey, Ms. Sheep?  Are you old?  It sounds like you might be old..."

*For the record, I don't have to take this kind of crap from a kid working on long division under a pile of discarded cardboard.


*I don't even have to dignify it with a response because that is the rule when dealing with 6th graders who burrow under cardboard as if this is a perfectly normal thing to do.


*Look it up.  You'll see I'm right.


*I trust everyone had a nice Mother's Day.

Da Boyz bought me flowers.  Roses, even!

*Of course, I had to get in the car to get them. And fork over the cash.  And there wasn't a card or anything.  Cats can't drive or manage money and you can't get them to sign a card no matter what the occasion.


*But I'm spinning it the way I think works best.


*I met up with Mommy and Daddy Sheep, along with Baby Brother Sheep, SIL Sheep and Niece Sheep.  Also present was a very little Great Nephew Sheep and a Little Sheep In Progress Who Is Nothing More Than A Bump.  We were a jolly Mother's Day Gang!


*I like it when there are a few mothers in the group.  I get to walk into the restaurant and shout out a hearty "Hey all you Muth-ahs!!"

*This tickles me to no end and no one can really say anything about it.


*That joke doesn't seem to land as well on Father's Day...


*The best Mother's Day Story EVER was told to me today by a colleague.


*She was called out of a meeting on Friday because her 86 year old mother knocked down the delivery guy bringing her Mother's Day flowers.


*Then she kicked him.  


*Because she saw him reaching for something (which turned out to be a lovely bouquet but how was she to know that at the time, right?)


*My colleague had to call her brother and tell him to get over there quickly because mom was going to jail.


*The moral of this story is: Never Wake Up An 86 Year Old Woman Early On A Friday Morning And Fail To Identify Yourself Whilst Reaching For Something Her Cataracts Obscure.


*The other moral of this story is: The Fastest Way To Convince A Disgruntled Delivery Person To Not Press Charges Is To Point Out How It Will Look In Court When You Confront The 86 Year Old Defendant Who Kicked Your 40 Year Old Butt.


*I wish for nothing more than such a story to be told of me in my golden years....


*Which, according to certain students and government employees, will be very soon.


*Look.  I knit a dishcloth.

*This is still technically a knitting blog, right?  Figured I should give a shout-out to my dwindling skills with sticks and string lest people forget that...


*The Siren (who lures the boys to their doom with her sultry song) says, "You should be reading to me now" every time she enters the room.

*Since, whenever I am not reading to her, she is wreaking havoc, I am plowing through The Hunger Games at an unprecedented speed.


*If she agrees to behave, I agree to read more.


*It is a working system, if not exactly one conducive to my having a voice left by the end of school.


*Meh.  I'd be losing my voice anyway what with all the screaming at her to stop the havoc.  Might as well get some literacy in instead.


*The other day, The Boy Who Likes To Shout Toot-Toot made an observation.

TBWLTSTT:  Wow.  You just got so mad your eyes literally crossed.  That was the coolest thing I've ever seen!

Ms. Sheep:  (gazes at him blankly, unable to formulate a response or possibly trying to summon a really good death stare)

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  Way to read a room, dude.

*The best part of my teaching career right now is the commute.


*I'm loving the audio version of Beautiful Creatures (Beautiful Creatures, Book 1) and I take back what I said about the reader last week.  He may not be great with narration...


*But this guy really does rock the dialogue.


*A great way to pass the time between home and school.


*And on the home front, I've been enjoying By a Thread (Elemental Assassin).


*I somehow managed to forget how much of this series I'd already read but memory has returned and I'm glad I checked back in with my favorite assassin.  


*Someone should be keeping an eye on the assassins, after all.


I think that I should say, "good night, all" at this point.  I feel like I've managed to work through the things I've seen and heard this week.  Besides, I need to clear my aging mind for all the new things people will be saying to me.  It is my understanding that people of my advanced age and fragile temperament should keep a section of the brain open for new stuff since we don't retain important facts like we used to.

Maybe I'll even come up with a snappy retort for the people who want to discuss my ever-increasing age...

SA

WNBP: Contents Under Pressure

It is the time of the year when I do a lot of complaining and annoy a whole bunch of people.  People have the right. I am a hair's breadth away from having the entire summer off and it seems kind of childish to complain about work under those circumstances. But it is also a highly pressurized time of the year, one during which I have a lot to do, very little time in which to do it and a group of middle school students determined to keep me from doing anything but screech.

Fair warning. This post will contain a great deal of pressure-induced complaining. Feel free to skip this week's edition of the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  I will understand completely.

*It has been raining. Raining + Cranky Middle School Students = Pressure.


*Today, Mr. Assistant Principal came by to share with me his plan for dealing with the umpteenth crisis which arose during this most ridiculous of days.


*For the record, MAP and I have been consulting on a regular basis of late.


*When he finished, I asked him how my request for a mini bar in the classroom was coming along.  It felt like ages since I'd filled out the paperwork, after all.


*He said he'd given it conditional approval based on recent events and saw little opposition from any other quarter.


*He then offered me a sip from the paper cup he was carrying.


*"People think it is coffee," he said with a smile. "People don't have a clue, do they?"


*I'm 97.3% sure he was kidding...


*Yesterday, The Future Farmer (who is wrapping up his 7th grade year in style but not in a good way) asked me the following question:


If you got one free slap per student per week, with full parent permission and no way you could be fired for it, would you use it?


*I said I would not.  Hitting, I reminded him, is wrong and only leads to more physical violence.


*But I'd be lying if I said I didn't hesitate first.


*The FF is one of the reasons I am currently under a great deal of pressure these days.


*I'm still not going to slap him, but it was probably not the best time for him to be asking that question.


*The Siren (who lures all the boys to their doom with her clarion call) has been demanding that I read
The Hunger Games to her in every spare moment.


*I'm good with that.  I really like the book and it is a nice thing to spend time with a student who appreciates it equally.


*Furthermore, she is going to the program at the high school next year and I'd like to leave her with a memory of me that is touching and sweet.


*As opposed to the screeching that she makes me do for the rest of the day.


*She is also contributing to the pressure.


*I had brunch with The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach on Sunday.


*There was no pressure there.


*Her husband did the cooking.  He then cleared the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and cheerfully went about the five billion chores she suggested he might want to look into.  He seemed nothing less than thrilled to be doing all this.


*He gazed upon her in utter adoration throughout.


*If I'd known the Husband Package came with that option, I might have considered giving one a test drive...


*He washed the dogs while TWGSALC and I did decoupage.  He thanked me for coming over to play with her since she's still feeling kind of poorly after her spinal surgery a few months ago.


*Again...why didn't anyone put that in the brochure?????  Women should know about this kind of thing before they decide marriage is a restrictive state and not something to be endured unless there is a need for quick cash.


*I came home after this rainy, pressure-filled, no-mini-bar-yet day and decided to wash the horror from my face.


*I felt better after that, but my glasses were missing.


*There are a great many logistical issues involved with finding missing glasses.  Especially when you need glasses to see where your glasses are.


*Glasses were in the living room.


*I know what you are thinking: Silly Sheepie!  Leaving her glasses in the living room like that.  Surely she is having the worst of Middle Aged Moments these days!


*Not so.


*Even if I were capable of wandering The Manse without my spectacles, I probably wouldn't have left them in the middle of the living room floor.


*Furthermore, the teeth marks all over them lead me to believe that there is really only one suspect.


*Very Complicated Kitties like to chew things.


*Very Complicated Kitties are pretty quick for their size.


*Very Complicated Kitties can steal your glasses and eat them in a flash.


*Don't say I didn't warn you.  Frankly, I should have been more careful.  The cat has eaten everything else of a non-food nature in the house, ranging from the wallpaper to my printer.  Why should I have expected my glasses to be any different?


*He's chewed the bow on the right hand side to the point where it is pricking my ears dreadfully.


*I am going to think of this as VCK Kisses that I can feel all day long.


*It is that or bill him for replacing the glasses and I don't think I'm going to get too far with that.


*The Classroom Mini Bar seems more likely at this point...


*Today, we discovered that Little Einstein had smuggled the following in his book bag:


One set of free weights


One set of leg weights


One sixteen pound bowling ball


Another sixteen pound bowling ball


A fully stocked box of fishing tackle, complete with live worms.


*LE weighs eighty pounds soaking wet.  Don't ask me how he did this.


*I think he is shorter now...


*I felt I deserved spaghetti-os for dinner tonight.  When I went to nuke them, I found a spider in the microwave.


*This begs several questions.


*How did the spider get in the microwave?  It was a very, very BIG spider.


*Did he sneak in when it was open?


*If not, should I be concerned about the level of radiation I absorbed during the heating of my dinner?


*If he's been in there a while, should I be worried?


*If he bites me, will I develop super powers?


*That could be kind of cool, but I am afraid of heights and I see no way in this world I am going to be swinging around from the rooftops and stopping crime.


*Frankly, my being tapped as the next Spider-Based Superhero would be a waste of perfectly good super powers.


*The spider is no longer in the microwave, but he got away before I could smoosh him.


*There is a gigantic, possibly irradiated spider somewhere in my kitchen.


*Between that and my VCK-Kissed Glasses, I am under as much pressure here as I am at school!


*Not reading much of anything new.  Just re-reading some stuff.


*But I am listening to Beautiful Creatures (Beautiful Creatures, Book 1) during the daily commute.


*The reader isn't the most talented I've heard, but you get used to it after a while.  And the story is really quite compelling.


*Not too far into it yet, but I think you'd like it if you are into that sort of thing.  I'll certainly check out the others in the series.


*It takes my mind off the pressure, you see...


Yeah.  Pressure is the word of the day here.  I guess I should just look at the positives and smile until I feel it for real.  The students who are creating the worst of the drama are really only mine for another month or so and then they will move on to the high school.  The glasses still work and the spider stayed out of my way so I could enjoy my little rings of pasta in fluorescent sauce.  I haven't grown a third eyeball yet either so the microwave hasn't had any obviously negative effects.  These are all good things.

And tomorrow is Thursday.  It is really only a matter of time before someone dumps a weekend on me.  Surely that will be less pressurized.  Right?

Right???

SA

WNBP: Reaching

I hate to admit it, but I am really going to have to reach tonight if I'm to come up with anything entertaining to say.  It is not the week before school vacation.  It is not the week of school vacation. It is not the week after school vacation.  It is the space in between.  We can count the number of days left in the teaching year in weeks and without really having to do much math.  It is a matter of hanging in there and trying to reach the finish line without losing our collective teacher-minds.

The best thing to do is get my Wednesday Night Brain on and forge ahead with the weekly bullet post.  Maybe the mere act of typing will inspire something...

*Have you ever been to an hour long meeting and walked away without recalling a single thing that was discussed?


*I've had a lot of meetings this week.


*I can only hope that I didn't volunteer for anything.


*Or make any promises.


*I'm a big talker sometimes...


*The rain isn't helping matters.


*I have Rain Brain.


*Yesterday, I forgot my lunch.  That made me sad and I resolved to never again leave my lunch bag hanging from a hook in the kitchen, thereby ruining a perfectly good Tuesday where I may or may not have said brilliant things in meetings.


*Today I remembered to bring my lunch because I am nothing if not dedicated to keeping promises to myself.


*I forgot to eat my lunch and now there is an unopened container of yogurt in my lunch bag on my desk at school.


*This tendency to forget things like sustenance might be part of the Meeting Stupidity Syndrome.


*Hey, have any of you seen my birth certificate lately?


*Apparently I need it in order to prove to the DMV that I deserve a new drivers license.


*These are the sorts of things a responsible adult would have already taken care of.


*Responsible adults can lay their hands on their birth certificates without having to set aside an entire weekend to find it.


*I am fairly certain I was born.  Surely someone somewhere certified this historic event.


*Highly likely my birth certificate is carved on a stone tablet.


*Hard to believe I could lose something like that...


*Did I mention that there are only something like 28 days of school left?


*I am honestly shocked by that since I don't know where the rest of this year went.


*Not that I am complaining, mind you.


*But I also have to get my teacher recertification paperwork done in that time and, much like my birth certificate dilemma, I am a little behind.


*To recap:  I am soon to be an unemployed pedestrian.


*That should make things more interesting and blog-worthy.


*Of course, I won't have internet access when I'm living in a cave on the outskirts of town, but that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it.


*I have decided to give the House Of Night series a little bit of a break
(Chosen: A House of Night Novel)


*I need a palate cleanser.


*Decided to re-read Trick of the Light (Trickster, Book 1)


*I like Rob Thurman even if she sometimes tends to write a little too casually, more like a person might speak.


*Which doesn't always translate as well into prose.


*Can be confusing.


*Still a favorite author.


*The Siren (who lures the boys to their doom with her clarion call) wanted to read
The Hunger Games 


*But she found it to be a bit of a challenge so I agreed to read some of it to her during the school's Sustained Silent Reading time.


*I've wanted to read it for a while so no hardship there.


*She is happy.  She wishes the whole class would listen to it.


*She thinks that "They'd like it if they weren't a bunch of jerks who didn't pay attention when Ms. Sheep read to us at the beginning of the year.  Stupid boys who don't listen and act like big, dumb jerks.  They should be more like us girls!"

*Nice sentiment so I'll ignore the fact that she was the worst offender back when I first tried reading to the class.


*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant is irked because we went into my office to read.  


*She believes we have started The Super Cool Club For Cool People Who Only Hang Out With Other Cool People.


*To recap: Boys are stupid jerks who don't listen, girls can go into more denial regarding their own behavior than is even believable and I am cool enough to start my own club.


*I'll have to figure out a way to include the CTA tomorrow lest she develop a complex.


*The stupid boys are on their own.


*My home phone rang yesterday. That was nice since it reassures me that I still have friends.


*I couldn't find my phone.  It was gone.  I know it existed because it was ringing.


*Phone was under the couch.  As was the charging base.


*I do not keep my phone under the couch.  I do not keep the charging base there either.


*I would very much like to know what my cats are doing during the day and why they feel the need to cut off my communication with the outside world...



That's it.  I've reached as far as I can for one night.  I think I've managed to prove how seriously devoid of excitement my life is right now.  Any day, I expect things to turn around and then I'll have more for you.  For now, I'll just sit back and leave the reaching to those who have something more interesting to attain.

At the moment, I'm settling for just reaching the weekend.

SA

WNBP: Flashback

When last I checked in on this blog, I was on Spring Break. That, I must say, was a rather delightful state of affairs and one I think I kind of miss now that it is a week later and there isn't anything remotely vacationish going on around here.

Upon arriving back at school, I was greeted with the usual queries regarding how my vacation went and I responded pretty positively.  In fact, I may have even gushed just a bit because it was a fantastic week off.  However, when asked what I did I was a little bit stumped.  What the heck did I do all week?  Other people came back tan.  I was not tan.  I didn't have any souvenirs to show off nor any secret trysts that I wouldn't speak of directly (but would hint at until everyone got the point).

It just wasn't "that kind of vacation."  It was the kind where you get up early just because you feel like starting the day knowing that you can put everything on "pause" and take a nap any time you want.  That, while making for a great vacation by my standards, doesn't do much for storytelling.  Frankly, I had to struggle to come up with one or two details that might indicate I was awake for at least half the time school was closed.

I've managed to recall one or two things.  Let's flash back to vacation week and see what Sheepie did all that time she was blissfully puttering through the days without really doing much of anything important.

*First of all, I should mention that my Blogger homepage didn't look anything like this when last I saw it.


*Blogger is different now.  Blogger was telling me about this for weeks, but I guess I didn't take Blogger very seriously and now I'm kind of flustered.


*That isn't Blogger's fault.  Blogger did its best to keep me in the loop...


*Remember my new office chair?  I bought that during vacation.  And I put it together all by myself.


*The feline occupation of my chair continues, but with a new and disturbing twist.

It's a danged party in my chair and I'm not even invited!!!

*I was able to sneak in some Sittin' Time, but not nearly as much as I think I deserve considering that I paid for the stupid chair.


*Why I thought I could make plum sauce, I honestly cannot tell you.


*There isn't anything in my personal history that would indicate I should be making spicy, Asian-style condiments.

But it turns out that I actually make a pretty darned good plum sauce when all is said and done.

*What can I say?  One's ability to make plum sauce has little to do with logic.


*No one really cared that I bought a new steam cleaner.


*Or that I used it to scald the heck out of the bathroom sink where I swear to God I was culturing a cure for penicillin.


*You'd think people would be more excited about that, but it seems that my fellow teachers are not.


*Best Thing About Going Back To School Besides The Fact That We Know We Are Now Closer To The End Of The School Year:

Ms. Sheep:  Hey, Cheerful Teaching Assistant!  You found a fan!  It's hot in here and we can really use that.  Where did you get it?

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  I have my sources. You don't need to know.

MS:  I can respect that. Why don't you just set it down right here so we can all enjoy a nice, cool breeze?

CTA:  Well, there is a little problem with that...

MS:  Oh. My. God. Is that fan...

CTA: Stuck on my finger?  Yes.  Yes it is.

MS:  Don't you have a meeting in ten minutes?

CTA:  Yes.  Yes, I do.  And I will apparently be going with a table fan stuck to my finger.


*I have worked with the CTA for a long time and she gets herself into a lot of "situations."


*But her finger stuck in the base of a fan is a new one.


*And I mean seriously stuck.  As in "we had to grease her finger up in order to get her out in time for her meeting.


*I'm not too proud to admit that I told everyone I saw that the CTA was stuck in a fan.


*I read a lot over vacation.


*Mostly because a 7th grade girl decided to get me all excited about reading the House Of Night series.


*I don't remember where I told you I left off with that and I'm too lazy to go back and check it.


*I'll just tell you where I think I left off.  So far, I've read:


Chosen (House of Night, Book 3)


Untamed (House of Night, Book 4)


Hunted (House of Night)


*And now I'm working on Tempted (House of Night).


*It sounds like more than it really is, word-wise.  These are short books.


*And yes.  I remain fully enmeshed in my shame over reading my way so furiously through this YA series that maybe kinda, sorta isn't exactly all about the female empowerment.


*Well...maybe it is.  I just wish the main character could make friends with a guy.  She really doesn't have to date everyone she meets.


*But maybe that's just me...


*That said, there must be something about this series because I can't seem to stop buying them!


See, I really did do some stuff over vacation.  I admit that I napped a lot and maybe watched more television than is really good for a person, but it was vacation.  I couldn't help myself.  Maybe I could have done more, perhaps even interacted with the rest of the human race on a daily basis.  Frankly, that might have been more healthy but what's done is done.

And I don't really care.  My vacation flashbacks make me pretty happy.  So much so that I think I'm going to start dreaming about the next one coming up:

Summer!!!


SA

WNBP: Deep Down...I Knew.

At last!  School vacation week has arrived and it is time for Sheepie to get going on the many, many projects she planned to finish!

Sheepie likes to think she is a productive person.  The reality is that Sheepie is something of a lazy bones whose intentions don't always match her energy level.  And you know what?  Deep down, Sheepie knew that going in.

Furthermore, Sheepie doesn't really  have the energy to care.  Let's take a look at what little is going on around here in bullet point format.  At least Sheepie had the energy to glance at the calendar before dozing off for the night...

*In my defense, the weeks leading up to this vacation were particularly stressful over at the Learn-a-matorium.  I am tired.

*On the plus side, my fears regarding getting sick were unfounded.  The second sneeze, (the one that always forecasts my doom) came and went, but I remained relatively healthy.


*Which is nice since the weather this week has been crazy-nice.  Warm...breezy...summery!


*Too bad I'm more about napping than getting out and enjoying it.


*Good news.  I finally got around to getting a new office chair so I can sit and type my Wednesday Night Bullet Post in comfort.


*I invested two weeks of my life researching the kind I wanted and where I might get it for the best price.


*I spent an hour in the store obtaining it.  (and all the other stuff I suddenly felt I needed to purchase...)


*It took me only half an hour to put it together but there was cursing involved and a manicure was lost to the endeavor.


*Then I went to the bathroom.  Which couldn't have taken me more than five minutes.

And that was all it took

*This is the first time I've sat in my comfy new chair since I finished assembly seven hours ago.

*I am sad that Dick Clark passed away. And yet, it seemed to me that the last few years weren't up to the quality of life he enjoyed before.


*What do I know?  I never met the man...but I like to think of him as the energetic guy ringing in the New Year.


*My most-used line these days seems to be, "And this is why we can't have nice things!!!"

Or drapes

Or spider plants...

*I also don't get a full night's sleep anymore what with the constant swinging from the widow coverings.


*And, for the record, it is a sad commentary on my life that I had time to flap my arms, say things that make me sound EXACTLY like my mother, get the camera, take a picture, then maneuver to a spot with better lighting so I could take another...


*And STILL have the cat hanging from the curtains when all that was done!


*Deep down, I think I know who runs this show.  I just don't like admitting it.


*I shampooed the carpets on Monday. I am telling you this so you will be impressed with how much I got done.


*Don't be fooled.  It the same minimal-effort-don't-move-a-stick-of-furniture kind of carpet cleaning I always do.


*But the rugs smell really nice.


*Early last week, The Siren (one of only two girls in my 7th grade class) and I decided that we must read The House Of Night Books or die.


*Yes.  That's right.  Die.  Right there in front of everybody. This was no exaggeration.


*We spent a great deal of time discussing this.  She was a step ahead of me, though.  Her mom already has them.


*Me?  I have to buy them.  Being a grown up is like so, totally unfair sometimes.


*But, I'm making gains.  I made short work of Marked: A House of Night Novel.


*Betrayed: A House of Night Novel (House of Night Novels) soon followed.


*Chosen: A House of Night Novel is going a bit more slowly, though.


*I started watching Red Dwarf VIII and I think that is distracting me.


*I'm not sure which activity marks me more firmly as a grade A geek.


*Is it the giddy joy of reading YA girly novels?


*Or watching a comedic space series where people talk about eating a lot of Indian take-away?


*I have never eaten Indian take-away.


*I think we have a winner.


*On some deep level, I know that my concern over not eating enough Indian take-away to be cool is the real issue.


*I would prefer to not discuss my plan to lord it over The Siren that I read more of the HON books than she did over vacation.


*Unless she read more and then I will not be reduced to playing this childish game.


*I gotta tell ya...I can see why the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty spent all day in this chair.  It is a delight for my tushie!!


*I'm enjoying it while I can.


*I have a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I will soon be losing it again...


I'm signing off now.  I am late for lolling on the couch and I fear I might need to turn the heat back on sometime soon.  Summery temperatures and vacation days don't last forever, you know.

And I have a feeling I should enjoy my break while I can.  Happy Wednesday To All And To All A Good Night!

SA