WNBP: Relaxing Hard

I've spent the last hour trying to figure out just what the heck I was forgetting.  I knew there was something...I couldn't put my finger on it.

Oh, yeah!  I blog.  And it's Wednesday.  I know it's Wednesday because last night was the premier of Deadliest Catch and that meant it was Tuesday.  Tuesday precedes Wednesday and I know it is Wednesday because I have a note on the coffee table reminding me that I was going to Family Lunch with Mommy and Daddy Sheep on Wednesday at noon.

I'm still burping barbecue sauce which would imply that I made that date.  Hence...it is Wednesday.  So, only a half an hour behind schedule, here is the Wednesday Night Bullet Post!

*I blame Spring Break. 

*The April vacation is the one that reminds me of summer vacation days to come and I get pretty darned relaxed once that realization settles in.

*I fear that, come June, I will descend into a coma if this is going to be the state of affairs...

*I was very tired last Friday.  It was a long week. There was a great deal of..."stuff."

*The Maine Autism Leaders Team conference which required travel, something I don't do without annoying levels of angst.

*Knowing that my Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty had already foiled the auto-feeder designed to keep not just him, but also his brother, fed at a reasonable rate over the course of my overnight conferencing.

*Returning from the conference to my classroom where I discovered that several of my students were less than delightful in my absence.

*Then the horrible email that said one of my colleagues was killed in a tragic accident on her way to work that morning.

*One of the very women I'd just spent two days with at the conference.

*The ensuing emotional overload from the people who knew her far better than I as she was a lifelong member of the community.

*Lots of...."stuff."

*Friday is Cake Day at the middle school.  I don't recall why.  It just is.

*I don't normally partake in Cake Day because, by the time I can free myself up to get to the teacher's room, the cake has been touched by more hands than I am comfortable contemplating.

*Or it has been savaged down to crumbs.

*There was a lot more cake last Friday than is usual.  Some of it was in "cup" form.

*Cupcakes tend to get touched less since everyone can just pick up the one they want and, if I strategically snag one near the middle, I'll get an unsullied pastry.

*And I really, seriously needed me some Friday Cake after spending time with the school librarian who was a neighbor of the deceased and who had pictures of her as a child to share with me.

*Cake.  I needed cake.  I even bought more on the way home from school because cake suddenly seemed medicinal.

*This, as I mentioned earlier,is vacation week.  There is really something very comforting about kicking off vacation and ending a stressful work week with cake.

*I got into the spirit of vacationing pretty quickly after that.

*I woke up Monday feeling like there was something I was supposed to be doing.

*It was kind of like the shouldn't-I-be-blogging feeling only a little more urgent.

*Then I remembered.

*Apparently the government wanted me to do my taxes and they are kind of finicky about timelines.

*At least the federal government is.  My state couldn't care less.  Unless you owe them money and then they feel strongly about people filing by the fifteenth.

*Thankfully, I don't owe the state any money but that wasn't going to help me with my federal tax return, now was it?

*Taxes are filed.  I had a near miss with a few figures before I caught on to the fact that I'd entered all of last year's information instead of the more current data, but that was easily fixed.

*Frankly, I'm kind of proud of myself for catching the mistake what with the flurry of accounting required to get the stupid things done before midnight.

*We are going to ignore the fact that I waited until the last minute and then entered information from last year's return because that does not make me particularly proud of myself.

* I'm on vacation. 

*Which, as we all know, is no time to be feeling badly about one's self.  It's not a law, but it should be.

*Wait...I have to go feed the cats.  I'll be right back!

*There.  That's done.  Things get ugly around here when the feeding schedule goes awry.

*I have been awoken every morning this week at 5:45 on the dot by the Feline Choral And Face Batting Society.

*They are happy to have Mommy home this week.  It's been quite the love-fest here.

*But that could all change should I dare to sleep past 6:00.

*I'm typing this on my school laptop.  You don't really need to know that.

*Except that the video of the AGK cracking the automatic feeder isn't on this computer and I'm too bloated from vacationing and cake to go get it.

*Too bad.  It's really quite humorous if you have 1 minute and 22 seconds to spare.  I'll have to see what I can do about getting that posted when I'm back on schedule and not sitting around eating cake.

*I actually haven't had cake since this weekend.  I ate all the cake.  There is not more cake.

*I've moved on to brownies.

*And I don't like "cakey" brownies.  I like "fudgy" brownies.

*So I'm not eating cake anymore. 

*In the spirit of self-indulgence, I decided to make up a quick sugar scrub to prepare my feet for summer sandal season.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty loves all things sugar.  And raw sugar mixed with grapeseed oil is apparently no exception.

*I had to hide my sugar scrub because he was nose deep in it every time I so much as blinked.

*He was licking the sink in which I rinsed my sugary hands following my self-made spa experience.

*He tried licking my feet but I think that was a bit much even for my little carb-a-holic so that didn't last long.

*Thankfully.

*He has a problem.  He needs help.

*I'd switch to a salt scrub but, given his love of potato chips, I suspect he'd be just as happy with that.

*My Very Complicated Kitty hasn't licked the sink at all this week.

*He is the mastermind behind the early morning wake up calls, but he isn't licking the sink so he is my favorite right now.

*Plus he's been very snuggly since I've been home and I like that.

*Speaking of "home," it's nice to have Mommy and Daddy Sheep back from their winter residence.

*And not just because they take me out to lunch.  Don't get me wrong.  I like lunch.  It's the one meal of the day I am eating on schedule now and who doesn't like it when it's free?

*But it's also nice to have the folks around.

*The one thing about vacation that isn't so nice is the lack of commuting time.

*Well...I like not paying for the gas.  That part is good.  But I miss the audio book time.

*I was right in the middle of Frost Burned (Mercy Thompson, Book 7).

*Fortunately, I did a little driving about today so that allowed me to listen a bit.  That's good.

*Otherwise, I might forget what was happening and then I will be all confused come Monday morning.

*Monday is Go Back To School Day.

*I won't be on vacation anymore.  Or resting.  Or relaxing.

*I'll be working.  And it will be the final push before the end of the school year.  Which is always kind of stressful.

*That's OK.  I've got this week of relaxing under my belt.  It should tide me over until I can do it for real.


That about covers it, week-wise.  It's really been about feeding the cats, cake and relaxing until it hurts.  (It can hurt, you know.  I'm old.  When I sit in one position for six hours at a time various joints stiffen up dreadfully...)  I like to think of it as practice for summer vacation.  It is inspiring.

Although I'm thinking I should maybe look into setting an alarm or something so I don't forget things like Wednesday.  Or dates very important to the government. 

SA

WNBP: Sheep Interrupted

Let's do this one straight up tonight, sans bullet points if you will.  It somehow seems like that kind of day.  It's healthy to interrupt the schedule sometimes.  Other times, it is simply out of boredom.  And I guess it's appropriate at times too, now that I think about it.

So here's your Wednesday Night Bullet Post, now, for a limited time only, in a Bullet-Free formula:

I am a SWOC.  (Single Without Children)  As such, I generally find myself in the minority. Even if there are other SWOCs around, they are almost always decades my junior and there isn't much common ground. Unless, of course, I am willing to be one of those oldsters who pretends that age is just a number and that one can "blend" by merely using enough of the current vernacular or wearing skinny jeans as if gravity is just a concept and not a reality after 40. 

I know better.  Sometimes I forget for a little while, but I like to think I've caught on by now.  I am a SWOC without delusions of grandeur.

Truthfully, I am more of a SWOCAPHWTTYVM (Single Without Children And Perfectly Happy With That Thank You Very Much).  However, I find that this is a very long title and that the time required to explain it often sounds to others like a justification of one's lifestyle and that just defeats the whole purpose of being "Happy With That, Thank You Very Much." 

Mostly I just keep my head down and pretend to be fascinated with tales of potty training or priceless heirlooms used as fort building material.  As a coping strategy, it has served me well for quite some time. 

I knew that the Maine Autism Leaders Team conference was going to be more of the same.  Even if I hadn't already gone to an earlier session, I could have predicted it.  It's a numbers game.  The likelihood that I'd be trapped for two days at a table full of mothers is fairly high if everyone going is female.  Mentally, I braced myself for the maternal deluge. 

It was as I thought.  Lots of kid talk and me with nothing to offer save a one minute and twenty-two second video of my Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty foiling the locking mechanism of the automatic feeder I tested over the weekend just to see what really happened when I set the stupid thing.  And I doubted if anyone would be interested in that.  Oh, they'd watch it, just to be polite.  But, frankly, there is nothing sadder than a SWOC pushing cat videos on the general public.  It's worse than stuffing a middle aged butt into skinny jeans and pretending to know what a Kardashian is. 

By day two, I was getting pretty good at smiling in all the right places while not really listening.  Besides, I was genuinely busy by then.  I had a whole flu situation in China that wasn't going to monitor it self, after all.  I'll admit I almost missed it when the lady to my right commented on how her daughter didn't want her to come to the conference this time.  I was a little late with my perfunctory, "aww," but I don't think anyone noticed.

She went on to say how strange it was.  "Mommy," the little girl begged, "I don't want you to go all the way up there because I am afraid you are going to crash on the highway and DIE!"

Well, that got my attention.  Crashing was a little more immediate and personal than the flu in another country, after all.  Sure, we'd made it up there in one piece, but now I had the image of a little kid going all "oracle" in my head and that is not the kind of thing one wants to be considering right before we pile into our cars to make the drive back.  I think we all felt kind of the same way because it seemed like a very half-hearted attempt to come up with a reason why a little girl would suddenly get all maudlin without warning.  She is, by all accounts, a generally cheery little tyke, at least according to her mother.

Best to just file that one under Funny Things Kids Say and get back to talking about where Johnny pooped that time we went to Grandma's.  That is Normal Parental Chatter, in my experience.  But maybe I'm just hanging with the wrong crowd.  At any rate, we left the conference and prepared to go back to school on Wednesday feeling fairly confident in our chances which proves that some things are best left unexamined.

At least most of the time...

The superintendent sent the mass email before noon today.  Within seconds, every staff computer in the district was Googling and soon the details (or at least what was known at the time) were common knowledge, complete with images.  It was Life Interrupted.

It happened sometime around 8:00 this morning,  probably on her way to drop the kids off before heading in to school for that first day back. Just like lots of people did this morning.  Just like me, except for the kids part.

Except we did it without the unexpected disruption in the plan.

 It had to have all happened pretty quickly, at least that is what I'd like to think.  Maybe even fast enough for the kids to have not seen.  Maybe their injuries were the kind that left them unconscious.  That would be better, if not exactly good.  It would give purpose to their pain.

She was a good teacher, very good.  In fact, she's the kind of teacher I thought I was going to be once upon a time.  At least until I tried it and realized that my skill set lay elsewhere.  She was funny and really excited about going to The Olive Garden for dinner on Monday night.  When we weren't working on our comprehensive plan to revamp our services for students with Spectrum disorders, she was on her laptop pulling together the five million things that need to get done for the Special Olympics next month.  Her team t-shirt design collaboration is going to be kick-ass. 

Many of her students won't understand what happened.  They are young, but also the kind of kids that make other parents hug their own offspring and think, "there but for the grace of God..."  They won't understand, but they will miss her and some will wonder why she said, "I'll see you on Wednesday," but then never came back. 

We weren't friends.  We were colleagues and we were both on the same committee.  But, I liked her as far as that relationship went and it is surreal to think someone you spent two days with could be gone less than 24 hours later.  Just like that. 

As far as her daughter 's fears are concerned, I chalk that up to coincidence.  Horrible coincidence, I grant you, but coincidence nonetheless.  The sort of thing that happens sometimes even if it shouldn't ever, ever happen.  That, to me, is preferable to the thought of a little girl believing that she is somehow responsible for a tragic, three car wreck that took her mother.  I think she probably has enough on her plate without that. 

Coincidence.  It's quick, it's random and it's ruthless in its desire to interrupt the best laid plans. You never know when your expectations will be suddenly sidelined or that you'll sort of wish you'd gone along when everybody headed out to The Olive Garden instead of staying behind to watch TV because you were tired of being around mothers for a whole day.  That's just the way it is.

But I think I'm maybe going to be a little more open to getting to know my colleagues better and perhaps even listen more fully, even when they talk about their kids.  You just never know when the next interruption will come.  Or if you'll be able to resume the conversation.

SA

WNBP: The Sweetest Things

Hey, what's with all the doom and gloom?  Lately, it seems as though there's just been a whole bunch of negatives going on and I can't help but think it might be time to lighten things up a bit.  After all, who am I if not the queen of the silver lining???

This week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post is dedicated to the fine art of the bright side.  Sure, I might miss a few but I'm honestly tired of focusing on school budget cuts and meetings gone horribly awry!

*I do not like changes in my routine.  I do not like them at all.

*Unless they involve things like getting to take an unexpected nap or ten dollar bills raining down from the sky.

*Which is why I was thrilled when I learned that our school district no longer had the money to send all of our Autism Leadership Team to the mandatory conferences.

*I could still be on the team.  I just didn't "get" to be one of the "lucky" participants doing this thing for college credit and required to travel.

*Sweet!

*Until they decided that we all should go to the last statewide meeting.  On a limited budget.

*Which meant a downgrade from the hotel we used during the first conference.

*A hotel room that made me think changes in the routine might actually be kind of nice.

*It was on the plush side, at least by educational budgetary standards.

*Now I have to go on Monday and stay in a motel that isn't nearly so nice.  For all I know it's the sort of place where nefarious white slavers go to unwind after a long day of peddling human flesh.

*Or where there's no microwave in my room and the little shampoo bottles aren't worth stealing.

*I despaired.

*Until I got the email that said there was going to be a big assembly for all the kids.  It isn't at our school.  No.  It is at the high school.  First thing in the morning.

*It will require re-routed buses, an entirely new schedule and five billion phone calls to parents of students who tend to bring their kids to school late and who would arrive to an empty building if we didn't intervene.

*Staff are to drive to the high school instead of our own school and, according to the email, "park wherever you can find a spot."

*This extravaganza will require additional staff people and one of those computerized phone calls to all the parents the night before, not to mention all the follow up activities that will have to be organized.

*And it is scheduled for Monday morning.  Bright and early.

*Have I mentioned how thrilled I am to be driving five hours north to the motel favored by white slavers everywhere so I can attend a conference over content I've only half covered?

*Seriously.  I couldn't be happier about it.

*Clarification: I do not think that "white" slavery is any worse than the other kinds of slavery.  Slavery, I think we can all agree, is a horrible thing.  However, I am of the pale persuasion and when I get into one of my panicky, why-does-everything-happen-to-me states I become a little self-absorbed.

*Because, really...what white slaver wouldn't be all over the chance to put a middle aged school teacher with mild issues around routine on the block?

*It's a movie of the week waiting to happen, I tellya!

*I found myself sitting in the parking lot of the local grocery store last Sunday, all alone and confused.

*Where was everyone?  The sun was shining and there were groceries to be purchased.  Surely I am not alone in my Sunday shopping schedule...

*Oh...Easter.  Easter is a holiday.  The grocery store is closed on some holidays.

*I know this because I read it on all the signs several times during the week when I went to the grocery store to pick up odds and ends but not actually shop for things one might consider "necessary."

*I ended up at the drugstore with all the other people who forgot it was Easter Sunday.

*I know this because everyone was saying, "Gee, I went to the grocery store and no one was there."

*By my estimate, we all took approximately five minutes of parking lot time in order to reach this conclusion.

*Easter closures aside, it all worked out for me.  Candy went on sale fairly quickly and I love nothing more than clearance candy.  Egg and bunny shapes matter not to me.

*I have had candy for dinner three nights running.

*I'm not kidding.  I have LITERALLY eaten candy for dinner for three straight nights.

*I've stopped even pretending I'm going to eat a "real" dinner once I've satisfied the candy cravings.

*It's the very fantasy I had as a child.  Candy for dinner and no one to tell me I need to shape up and eat something with a greenish tinge!

*I feel a little sick to my stomach at this point, but I'm too proud to stop now.

*Did I mention how much I hate change?  I'm fine once things settle down, but the process is enough to put me off my candy.

*For five minutes...

*Mr. Principal announced his impending retirement at a staff meeting several months ago.  I've pretty much managed to stick metaphorical fingers in the ears of my subconscious and sing the "I Can't Hear You" song since then as a strategy for avoiding this professional field of land mines.

*Today we had a staff meeting.  We were instructed to close our eyes.  I don't like to close my eyes in staff meetings.

*Never ends well...

*I might fall asleep or become the victim of black market organ harvesters.

*Which isn't as bad as the slavery thing because you pretty much just wake up in a strange bathtub full of ice and with one less kidney, but it's still not something I want to experience.

*Although, I suppose it would result in weight loss.  After all that candy....

*Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Eyes closed at a staff meeting and promises of nothing bad happening.

*Which is a necessary thing to say to a roomful of people being instructed to close their eyes.

*We were told that, when we opened them, we would see our new principal.

*There was a count to three and...

*IT WAS MR. ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL!

*Yay!!  That is less of a change and Mr. Assistant Principal is a good guy who won't change everything all at once on me.

*Although he did accidentally mess up my name and call me "Doody" last week.

*I'm not sure exactly what went wrong there, but I think he was trying to make a joke out of how I have lunch and recess duty every day instead of the much less rigorous rotation the other teachers have.

*But it just came out, "Doody" and that isn't exactly how I want to be remembered in those hallowed halls.

*I'm still glad he is my new principal, though.

*But you have to keep it a secret, 'kay?  The board hasn't approved the nomination yet and, although that is rarely an issue, we don't want to jinx it.

*So, mum's the word for a day or so.  It'll just be between us.

*Last week, I didn't go to a meeting because I wasn't invited to go to that meeting.

*And, much like other meetings that go on around that place, decisions regarding my day were made.

*A student was placed in my classroom with little in the way care and feeding instructions.

*The New Teaching Assistant was agog at this.  The Organized Teaching Assistant and I were outraged, but not particularly agog.

*This has happened a lot.

*TNTA said yesterday, "Seriously, I can't believe you aren't completely bugging over this!"

*I've run out of "bug."  I'm down to resigned exasperation which I express in the form of lengthy emails referring the recipients to other emails I've sent on the same issue.

*On the plus side, I get whatever I want for at least a month after one of these little incidents.

*My director redefined my current job to something a little closer to what I actually do (something I've been asking her to do for a while), finally clarified my incoming caseload and offered me my choice of positions for next year.

*And she is going to drive me to the conference next week even after saying she didn't want to drive to these conferences any more.

*I wanted to get a limo, but I thought that might be pushing things a bit...

*I am more ready for spring break than you can imagine.  I have a great class this year and I'm honestly not complaining.

*I also don't want to imply that I somehow work harder than other people and that 8 straight weeks of labor is something that should be admired by all.

*But Kid Time is hard time.  You know I'm right.  If I wasn't, there wouldn't be parents dancing in the streets on the first day of school all across this great land.

*I still have a couple more weeks to go.

*And I have been informed that I've only used three sick days this year.  Three.

*I had walking pneumonia last fall.  I've had a few doctor's appointments and dentist appointments, all of which I use sick days for.  It's easier than driving forty minutes back and forth and I know I've got plenty of time saved up for this kind of thing.

*My staff have used more than three sick days.  The Organized Teaching Assistant has used all her time and more.

*I've used three.

*What is WRONG with me????????

*I have a dentist appointment scheduled for the Friday before April vacation.  That was an accident. I fully intended to fix that since one shouldn't be absent the day before a vacation.

* I had to change my dentist appointment from this Friday so the Organized Teaching Assistant could be gone for two days.

*Oldest son is on college tours.  I can't say no to that.  Her son is a good kid and I want him to go on college tours.

*I am thinking, however, that I might not be so hasty about the appointment changing.

*Three days?  I have something like 90 of the stupid things.  What am I saving them for???

*Well...sickness, I suppose.  Middle aged women should probably be mindful of their sick time what with all the creaking and snapping of stuff.

*Plus I've been eating candy for days now and I anticipate some kind of repercussions from that which might require medical intervention.

*There is no need to find the silver lining when discussing my on-line library experiences.

*Even if they've changed their formatting a bit and it's kind of confusing.

*I am loving every minute of Destined for an Early Grave (Night Huntress, Book 4).

*Even better than Book 3.

*Which is good because my visual reading experience hasn't been quite as good as the auditory.

*Once Bitten (Alexa O'Brien Huntress Book 1) was a freebie and within my book buying budget so I gave it a shot.

*It's not bad, honestly.  But it's a little hard to follow.  It's like the author believes you already know everybody and that the back story will only confuse matters.

*But is willing to throw in a tidbit or two every now and again just to make sure you aren't completely in the dark.

*And yet it is holding my interest so it can't be all bad.  Now that I've picked up the thread of the storyline and figured out whom to like and whom to loathe, I'm kind of enjoying it.

*Plus it was free.  Did I mention the "free" part.  That is always a good thing!


Well, I feel better already!  The doom/gloom syndrome that plagued me throughout the month of March is almost lifted and I think I may one day laugh again.  Or at the very least stop growling and snapping at anyone who comes near me with the barest semblance of a smile.  That would be an improvement.  And maybe I'll even get rid of that sour twinge in my stomach that comes and goes with every stressful moment!

Of course, that could be the candy talking but I don't want to jump to conclusions...

SA

WNBP: Little Bits And Pieces

I had to make a quick run down to the school library printer yesterday afternoon in order that I might grab a piece of paper vital to the continued education of my students.  There, I met another teacher who was holding my most important document and looking a tad befuddled.

"I think I accidentally grabbed your very important piece of paper," she said.  "I've been staring at it for, like, over thirty seconds and trying to figure out why I printed this."

I smiled consolingly and replied, "That's OK.  I do that kind of thing all the time.  It's sort of standard practice after the noon hour, in my experience."

She looked at me sadly.  "I suppose.  But I'm not here to print.  I'm supposed to be copying something..."

Yeah.  That also sounded kind of familiar to me.  I tried to be encouraging while she copied the wrong page for one of her students and did my best to keep him from getting frustrated while he waited for his poor instructor to get her act together enough to copy the information he required to complete the assignment she gave him in the first place.

"Don't worry," I reassured her.  "You are probably just all excited about our big two hours of free furlough time tomorrow morning."

That got an eye roll and a well-deserved one at that.  When the teachers all agreed to give up a day of pay in order to try and find some semblance of balance in our current budget crisis, I don't think any of us planned for it to look quite like this.  My colleague was quick to assure me that getting our day off in one and two hour increments wasn't the cause of giddy excitement which resulted in her crippled copying ability.

"Oh, I don't know," I mused, "When I agree to freely give money back to my school department, I kind of like it when it's as complicated and non-beneficial to me as possible.  Keeps things...interesting."

In spite of my two hour late delayed start to the work day today, I am exhausted.  But I am nothing if not responsible so here we go with this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  I thought about taking a furlough from that, but didn't really see where that would benefit me in any way and I'm tired of things that make my life more complicated.

Sticking to the plan is really the way to go...


*I heard a few people say that they enjoyed their leisurely morning today, but that wasn't really my experience.

*I allowed myself to go to bed an hour later than usual, figuring that I could always sleep a bit later if I needed to.  Otherwise, I'd just get up at the usual hour, congratulate myself on keeping to the routine and get a few bits of random chores done about the manse before strolling out the door.

*Then I lay awake for hours and hours worrying about whether or not I'd correctly calculated my departure time and factored in the things I might want to do in my two hours of unpaid furlough time.

*Finally, I gave up on the idea of keeping to the usual routine and set the alarm to allow myself another hour and a half of morning snooze time.

*I was awakened at 4:45, per usual, by the persistent feeling of eyes upon me.

*"Isn't she cute when she's sleeping?"

*"Oh, yes...like a little angel."

*"Seems a shame to wake her."

*"Yes.  The right thing to do would be to let her get her beauty rest while we just sit here and appreciate her for all she does around here."

*"Mmmm...that would be the right thing to do, for certain."

*"But we aren't going to do that, are we?"

*"Of course not.  Don't be silly."

*So I was up before 5:00 in the morning to feed the cats because, in spite of their good intentions, two hours of furlough time has very little meaning when you are starving to death.

*I thought about going back to bed, but the die was kind of cast at that point so I just gave in to what fate and my feline roommates clearly wanted.

*I consoled myself with the thought that I would at least not have to worry about being late for work now.

*Except that I forgot I needed to stop for gas.

*I made it to school within the given furlough day time frame.

*With a minute to spare if you go by my car clock and not the main office clock.

*No one seemed to notice.  They were all doped up from that extra cup of coffee they got to have this morning, I suppose.

*Then I remembered that I'd forgotten to have an extra cup of coffee so I lost another five minutes trying to find a cup in order that I might fill it with the dark elixir of happiness.

*Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Front Desk finally took pity on me and procured the desired vessel.

*I felt obligated to listen to her rhapsodize about her relaxing morning after that kindness.

*And, because she is a very nice lady who let He Who...PROJECTS set up his own mailbox in the office and even sends him daily mail so he won't be sad, I was happy for her.

*Mostly.  "Exhausted giddiness" and "happy" are states that are kind of easily confused.

*Boy, I am doing some mental math and really wondering just how long it will take to get this thing posted tonight.

*Internet still working at a snail's pace.

*The plan was to do some temporary reconfiguring of the home set up over the weekend and see if I couldn't hide the ethernet cable well enough that a certain Very Complicated Kitty wouldn't see it and eat it.

*Because that is just what he does.

*And my stupid internet provider won't write a repair ticket without an ethernet test.

*Because they don't guarantee wireless service and they are afraid I won't pay the bill if it turns out the problem is on my end.

*And they don't necessarily understand a home computer set up that is worked around the digestive habits of felines.

*BTW, they are right about the bill.  I wouldn't pay it because I know it isn't my problem.  It's the same problem I've had before.

*Which isn't my problem.

*Also possibly related to that time my phone began randomly dialing 911 without my permission and I ended up with police in bullet proof vests at my door.

*That was also the time that the Big Fluffy Kitty stole my turkey sandwich while I was otherwise engaged convincing the local authorities that I wasn't trying to blink "save-me-save-me-oh-please-save-me" at them surreptitiously.

*But I didn't have time to deal with the internets this weekend.  The ethernet cable remains hidden somewhere in the depths of my spare bedroom.

*Otherwise known as That Room Where I Put Things "Temporarily" Until I Can Find A Proper Place For Them.

*There is a lot of stuff in there...

*I woke up in the very, very wee hours last Thursday morning with a horrifying realization.

*I have no semi-formal wear.  Which is fine for most of my life.  I don't dress up much.

*Or if all I have to worry about is being invited to a redneck bar mitzvah.

*But my current circumstances weren't nearly so devil-may-care.

*Niece Sheep's nuptials were Saturday.  And my redneck collection wasn't going to cut it.

*I staggered off to Ye Olde Department Store's clearance racks after school on Thursday.

*I managed to locate a very cute faux fur jacket, a simple pair of black dress pants that would work and a bag of Belgian chocolates.

*Shut up.  I know.  It wasn't a choco-shopping trip but I don't do a lot of shopping that doesn't involve denim and this was a very stressful experience.  I don't need judgement.

*I awoke in the very, very wee hours on Friday morning with yet another horrifying realization.

*Simple black dress pants require shoes and I didn't have anything that matched unless you count the stained suede clogs I sometimes still wear or my winter hiking-type boots.

*Furthermore, the cute jacket doesn't button and it was going to require a top of some sort.

*I was back in the stores Friday afternoon where I located a black, ruffly, scoop-necked sweater, underpants that promised to squish everything back to where it used to was and some snakeskin wedge heels.

*That was a lot of black, but I figured the cute gold purse with the handle wrought to resemble diamond encrusted brass knuckles would break it up nicely.

*Shut up.  Brass knuckles are perfectly appropriate wedding attire.

*Niece Sheep appreciates that sort of thing.

*And besides, no one notice besides Baby Brother Sheep.

*Even when I waved the purse around to punctuate my speech like a maniac...

*It was a lovely wedding and seeing my little brother walk his daughter down the aisle actually caused me to have a "moment."

*Which was unfortunate as I'd forgotten to load my brass knuckle purse with tissues.

*In my defense, I don't normally go to pieces at weddings and I sort of forgot about the whole Little Brother As Father Of The Bride part of the program.

*But my cobbled together wedding duds all worked rather fabulously.

*Unless you count the brown boots I had to wear because the snakeskin shoes hurt my feet.

*I was pretty much counting on dazzling everyone with the purse before they had a chance to look down that far...

*There was a meeting at school yesterday.  It occurred at 8:15.  I wasn't invited.

*At 12:30, a colleague was in my room with a printed schedule and notes she'd scribbled on a napkin.

*Apparently, I am to be gifted with one of her students on a daily basis from 8:15 to 1:00.

*She proudly handed me the schedule they'd developed at this morning's meeting.

*It scripted out the lad's day, including how I'd be supervising him through my prep period, lunch duty, recess duty and during times I'm supposed to be teaching classes.

*My own carefully crafted schedule was in tattered bits and hanging limply off this shiny new document.

*She was certain I'd be glad to know that this would all be starting the very next day.

*I declined.  Which is a bold move considering these sorts of plans can't actually be declined but I figured I could at least buy myself some time.

*Time I used to send a scathing email to my director reminding her that I do not like being told of new students with only hours to prepare and without any input into the scheduling thereof.

*I also pointed out that I was in the meeting with most of the people involved prior to that meeting and that I doubted my role in the new schedule was something they didn't already know about at that time.

*And, just in case it was something that occurred to everyone after I left, I further reminded her that I am two floors above the meeting room, not two mountain ranges and a small village inhabited by ravenous werewolves away.

*As insurance against further argument, I mentioned the school's handy in-house phone system that doesn't even require a person to clamber up the stairs to get a message to me.  No carrier pigeons required.

*In short, I am available for comment.  And sometimes have interesting things to say.  Give me a jingle.  I'm happy to wander down and be a part of the stupid festivities.

*The good news?  It was agreed I should get a little time to review the schedule and work with the boy's case manager to find coverage for the times I wasn't available.

*I also wasn't fired so that worked out as well.

*The bad news?  No one wanted to be the one to call the parent and tell her she needed to give me a day and they just hoped someone else did it.

*So, while I was giving the new boy a tour of the classroom today, reassuring his mother that he would be just fine and trying to pretend like I wasn't scrambling to figure all this out, my staff was avoiding eye contact, hiding the scissors and trying to come up with a plan for what to do when my head exploded.

*My director received another email from me today.  She showed up at 1:20 looking as pale as I've ever seen her and I wasn't fired for the second email either.

*Let's just say this isn't the first time I've had this happen to me over the past few years.

*I know how this goes.  I will be getting pretty much whatever I want for the next month and don't think I won't be taking advantage of that either.

*I left the building at 3:30 with my nerves shredded and my ability to love my fellow man/woman/people who go to meetings and have brilliant ideas shattered in a billion tiny pieces.

*Really sharp pieces that will cut the feet of anyone who doesn't tread lightly around me for the next few days!

*I was down to the last few minutes of my commuter entertainment and feared for what I might have to resort to.  The good audiobooks are never available without some sort of waiting list at the library.

*However, I was shocked when I went online and found the honest-to-god NEXT BOOK IN THE VERY SAME SERIES!!!

*Yay for me!!!  And yay for the fact that I was at school where the wireless actually works and doesn't deliver information in itty bitty bits of data which crawl at a snail's pace!

*I started Destined for an Early Grave (Night Huntress, Book 4) during today's late partial furlough day commute. 

*And was almost distracted from the fact that I hate having my schedule disrupted because it never really works out as well as it looks on paper.

*On the other hand, they are taking my day's pay out of my checks in the littlest amounts possible from now until next September so I suppose there is an up side to the whole thing.

*But I still can't help but wonder if getting my "day off" in hours and minutes is more trouble than its worth...


And there you have it.  An almost published post (although I'd strongly urge crossed fingers) and a total of six and a half hours of furlough day accounted for.  Assuming I get through the next two days without sending the email that finally goes too far, I can look forward to another hour and a half of this nonsense.  Then it will be done.  A whole work day whittled and chipped down over the course of months.  It's like magic except for the part where no self-respecting magician would bother with this kind of tedium.

I think I might need to bring my new purse to work tomorrow.  Sometimes a girl needs to feel a little control when the pieces start to fall out of place...

SA

WNBP: Strong Words

Every year, we end up with some kind of weird "theme" in my classroom.  We usually don't mean to...it just kind of happens.  And, heaven forbid, I end up having to follow kids through the grades for several years!  There is a risk of that theme tagging along for the ride.

A while back, the inevitable theme grew out of classroom need.  (It often happens that way.)  Hence, I had several kids repeating their mantra at me for three straight years.

Hate is a strong word.

I suppose it is good to remember that, especially since we sometimes forget how powerful certain verbal slings and arrows can prove.  But, sometimes, there is really a need for strong verbiage.  And, gosh darn it all, it feels so GOOD!!!!

As I weave my weary way through this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post, it is entirely possible that a little bit of venom might sneak its way in.  I apologize in advance for that.  I know "hate" is a strong word and I will try to avoid it.  But there are some things that simply cry out for my scorn.

*Snow.

*Snow cries out for my scorn.

*Piles and piles of snow that have absolutely no business hanging out all over my car or on the path I must travel to reach work or sustenance.

*We had another storm yesterday.  This one left about a foot or so.

*I'm not even going to try to hold back on this subject.  I am hating this snow.  I hate it with the burning passion to ignite a thousand suns.

*And that is not an exaggeration.  

*Because all those suns might melt the stupid snow.

*It was cute at first. 

* "Oh, look at the pretty white stuff!  See how it coats the trees and makes everything all festive?  Such a wonder, a miracle really...Mother Nature all decked out in her winter finery.  Let us stop and gaze upon it whilst breathing in that fresh, crisp winter air!"

*Yesterday I wasn't so much stopping and gazing as I was kicking at various drifts and screaming, "No! Bad frozen water! Go home!!  NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!!!!"

*And I don't care what the neighbors thought.  Frankly, I was simply acting upon exactly what they were thinking.

*My phone rang around 7:00 Monday night.

*It was Daddy Sheep.

*Who is in Florida.

*And who was calling me in Maine to let me know that school was cancelled the next day.

*Ah...the miracle of the modern age!  Courtesy of TV station text messaging, my parents can still be the ones to tell me I have a snow day.

*I actually had flashbacks to fifth grade.

*It's good he called, though.  My phone was buried in my purse and buzzing futilely.  My own version of that text wasn't likely to get my attention and I might have gone to bed thinking I needed to set that alarm!

*I'd have hated that...

*I am not a person who loves housework.  In fact, I dislike it a great deal.  I do it because I fear the day I am buried in clutter and grime and they have to send in a rescue team.

*You just know a news crew wouldn't be far behind.

*However, the plethora of snow days I've had lately certainly lent themselves to a great deal of dusting and vacuuming. 

*The Boy With The Cutetht Lithp EVER is not cute right now.  Not at all.

*He could be cute if he would start doing his homework.  But he doesn't seem to agree with my thoughts on this matter.

*In fact, he is determined to prove me not only wrong, but also to be an overly anxious, homework obsessed harridan who doesn't appreciate all the stress involved with being eleven years old.

*He has now put me in the awkward position of having to explain to his father that he has a detention for not doing his homework and that he has further placed the responsibility for the lack of said work squarely upon his dear papa's shoulders.

*Apparently, his father keeps him so darned busy that he cannot do homework.  Not even a little bit, so jam-packed is his schedule.

*His father was kind of surprised to learn this due to his having set aside homework time since TBWTCLE started school.

*I spoke with the lad about this matter firmly today.  It's not the first time, but it is the first conversation we've had since Dad and I have chatted about the matter.  It went well.

*In fact, I had him right where I wanted him: contrite, but not so beaten down that he wasn't willing to take up the homework banner and carry forth to fight the good fight.

*Then I got cocky.  And I tossed in just a few more comments. Like how he'd done his homework yesterday and now we knew he was capable.  A little bit of extra naggage to push the point home...

*I should have known better.  Rookie mistake, actually.

*TBWTCLE looked up at me and said, "Well, Mth. Theep. YOU need to underthtand that thum dayth are jutht better than otherth.

*I kind of hate myself for thinking I deserve the Teacher Of The Year Award for not strangling a student.

*However, if anyone on the awards committee had been there at that moment, I really do think I would have gotten at least Honorable Mention...

*The opposite of hate is love.

*And that is what I feel for my library right now.

*Because I was on the last thirty minutes of my audiobook and was deeply concerned about the state of my homeward commute.

*But, when I checked my email, there was the notice letting me know that the title I reserved was ready and waiting for me!!!

*Such timing my library has.

*Now I get to enjoy At Grave's End (Night Huntress, Book 3).

*This makes me happy.

*That is going to have to be my last link of the night, though.

*I am having a few internet "issues."

*Just so you know, I love my Very Complicated Kitty.  Very much so.

*But, even if I didn't, I still wouldn't want to see him electrocuted.

*Hence, I have to place all electronics very carefully.  If I don't he kinda, sorta eats the wires.

*My internet provider doesn't want to write up a repair ticket on my connection issues because my desktop can't reach the ethernet cable.  They agree I have a problem.  They just don't want to fix it without wires involved.

*And I can't move the desktop without dangling tasty, tempting wires.  

*I could probably do it on a temporary basis.

*But I don't want to.

*For the record, they fixed it last summer when it was broken and unwired.  And, even though the helpful service "specialist" wouldn't admit the problem is more of the same and clearly not on my end, he still wouldn't do it.  He even chided the other helpful "specialist" who did do it for me last summer.

*I hate my internet service provider.  And I'm not taking that back.

*I was supposed to bring my school laptop home today, then dig out the ethernet cable to set everything up in a super-secret, cat-proof location but I forgot.

*And I kind of didn't want to.

*Maybe I'll remember/want to tomorrow and then we can get this ball rolling.

*He Who...PROJECTS has been slowly inserting himself into all aspects of the school's key functions.

* He has full access to the kitchens because they love him there.

*He brought a giant cardboard box to school with a slot cut into it, his name on the front in magic marker and helpful illustrations so that everyone will know that this is where they can put his mail.

*The secretaries let him set it up in the office.

*Today, however, I felt we had crossed a very important line.  One that cannot be ignored.  He just went too far.

*I found him coming out of the men's staff bathroom.

*This required a "discussion."

*At this rate, I'll be working for him by May.

*Let's hope he is a benevolent overlord.

*I'd hate to disappoint the boy who successfully managed to take over the school in under seven months.

*Plus he talks very, very loudly and I cannot imagine how a dressing down would sound....


And now I have to stop.  Something just caught my attention.  Something horrible.

I just heard the weather dude on TV say something about a possible storm.  I cannot have heard that correctly.  I don't care if it's a "slim possibility."  That is too much possibility.  In case I haven't been clear, "hate" is not too strong a word in some cases.

Not too strong at all.  At least as far as this winter is concerned....

SA

WNBP: Springing Forth And All That Stuff

Yeah, yeah...I "sprang forward."  Is it just me or does that pesky clock-changing deal seem to roll around earlier and earlier every year?  I know it was extended at some point, but somehow it seems to me that they are sneaking it into the schedule in ever-increasing increments until I have to start losing and/or gaining an hour of sleep every other day...

The extra hour of evening daylight is kind of nice, though.  In fact, I was still so energized that I ran a few errands after school today.  Of course, this has put me even further behind schedule than I normally am on a Wednesday, but that just comes with the territory, I suppose.

Being behind schedule certainly reinforces the fact that it is Wednesday, though.  So why don't I just spring wholeheartedly into this week's Bullet Post?  Maybe I can breeze through it and make up a few minutes along the way...

*Today sure did feel pretty darned Springy.

*Sun, warmth...it was almost enough to make me shed my woolen coat and perhaps even crack a hopeful smile.

*They are forecasting another possible snow storm for next week.

*I'm going to face the sun for as long as I can and see if I can get some vitamin D into my system before we are all plunged back into the winter blahs again.

*The budgetary battles rage on in my school district.

*The board is publishing statements declaring their innocence in this fiscal nightmare.

*The teacher's union dilly-dallied over putting the matter of a cost-reducing furlough day to a vote, citing procedures that require more time before issuing a ballot.

*The superintendent said, "Sure.  I understand.  Take all the time you need.  Meanwhile, I'll just be over here decimating the music and gifted programs then making sure that I issue a public statement on the matter while I'm waiting."

*The union was forced to hustle off to vote, which took time out of their scheduled emails detailing where they felt the budget problems began.

*Everyone behaved about as badly and unethically as I've ever seen and it made me proud to be neither an administrator nor a member of the teacher's union.

*The furlough day was voted in, thus saving music and gifted programming.

*They sprang the details on us a few days ago.

*In order to decrease the impact on instructional time, we will not have parent conferences tomorrow, will get to come to work two hours late in a few weeks and leave school an hour and a half early on the last day.

*That last one is another way of saying, "Please enjoy coming back in later to finish marking cumulative folders and packing up your rooms during your unpaid time. Oh, and the schools will be shut down on and off over the summer months to cut further costs so good luck with scaling the walls and shimmying into half-open windows."

*And I'm still working without a contract.

*Let's just say that negotiations got a bit...sidetracked.

*It's enough to yank the spring right out of your step...

*I stopped by the mega-home improvement store on the way home.

*I need to do drywall repair.

*I do not look forward to drywall repair.

*But what if something happens to me?

*Then the people who come to clean out my meager possessions will see that picture I hung over the gigantic hole in my kitchen wall and forget all about how I probably shuffled off this mortal coil in some heroic endeavor involving the rescuing of infants and kittens.

*All I'll ever be remembered for is the picture over the hole in the wall that fooled no one.

*There's an epitaph to avoid...

*We all know the story of Athena springing forth fully formed and armored from Zeus' noggin.

*He Who...PROJECTS sprang forth onto the playground today fully clad in cardboard armor he'd crafted during morning daycare.

*I did not know that he crafted cardboard armor.  Much less that he was slipping away to don it before recess.

*It's his Anti-Bullying Armor.

*Look up "irony" in the dictionary.  There's a picture of a small boy charging onto a playground filled with 6th and 7th graders whilst fully garbed in cardboard armor.

*The other adults thought it was the sweetest thing they'd ever seen.

*Leaving Ms. Sheep the nasty job of explaining to HW...P that it isn't a good idea to wear cardboard armor on the playground because other kids don't really "get" that.

*It wasn't Little Einstein's opinion that his bus driver is unfair and overly involved in her passenger's drive-time activities that got him into trouble this morning.

*We probably could have overlooked that.

*It was really more the manner in which he chose to express that opinion.

*Which mostly consisted of single-finger salutes and comparison's to female dogs of great girth.

*That was the part that caused the principal to take note.

*And then come up to reenact portions of the show for me.

*Which was funny except for the part where it wasn't because I also had an irked 7th grader rampaging about the room.

*Situation contained and remediated.  I'm keeping LE under wraps for a while.

*Probably bad timing that he also got into a scuffle on the playground yesterday.

*Coincidence works against overly boisterous boys with strong opinions regarding bus driver ethics and fair play in football...

*Blood Magick (Bloodlines #1) sort of sprang off the digital page when I was looking for cheap reads the other day.

*Actually, what really caught my eye was Zombie Confidential (Bloodlines #2.5) because that one was a freebie and I was kind of without a debit card at that point.

*My new card arrived and I figured why not try the series upon which the zombie story was based?

*It's not bad.  But the zombie story was better...

*Definitely worth the couple of bucks I tossed down for it, though.

*Even better is the audio version of Undead and Unappreciated.

*These are short, but long enough to kill a week's worth of commuting.

*This is now how I measure audiobook length.

*And I love Queen Betsy.  She makes me happy.  

*Even if she can't exactly enjoy a nice spring day like I can.

*She makes up for it in awesome shoes.

*Talk about a spring in your step!!!


I'm not doing too badly, time-wise.  But I still think I should do a wrap up here.  I have, once again, failed to make the "eat dinner before 7:00" mark but I think that is just going to have to be a Wednesday Thing.  Sometimes you have to accept matters.

Tomorrow is another day with another chance for eventful happenings and who knows?  Maybe I'll get some spiffy new armor or find someone who wants to repair the giant hole in my kitchen wall without commenting on the fact that I have a giant hole in my kitchen wall.

Or something else will spring forth to surprise me.  You never know...

SA

WNBP: Lost

Well, here we all are.  Another Wednesday is upon us and I am yet again so far behind in the night's agenda that I can't even believe it myself.  I even toyed with a Blog Night Off, just to see if I could maybe get myself together enough to catch some TV before bedtime rolls around.

In the end, my overwhelming sense of responsibility took over and I sat myself down to see if I couldn't come up with a tidbit or two for your reading pleasure.  I think it's important to stick to the schedule.  Frankly, I need the schedule.  Any small, even tenuous, grip on the norm would be nice these days.

So here we go.  It's another fun-filled rendition of The Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  Whether you wanted it or not...

*I have somehow managed to lose part of a filling.  Or all of a filling.  Or an entire tooth.  Or I've offended whatever deity is in charge of pain-free chewing.

*I think it's really just part of a filling or something amiss with the crown, but I've decided to make the whole thing as dramatic as possible because it's a right side issue and that is the chewin' side.

*What I clearly haven't lost is the overwhelming urge to poke at the offending tooth.

*Which is generally not recommended when there is tooth pain.

*I guess I just keep hoping it's naught but a bit of seed or pulp and that it will soon work its way loose, leaving me with my formerly happy mouth situation.

*I do not want to visit Dr. De Sade DMD.  I'm gonna ride it out.  Surely everything will be fine if I ignore it hard enough...

*I tried to buy gas yesterday.  I say "try" because, while purchasing fuel isn't really all that hard what with all the modern marvels available to us nowadays, the process didn't go very well.

*I needed to buy gas because I got lost going to a meeting at a different school and used more of the petrol than I meant to.

*Then I got lost again on the way back to school.

*But I didn't tell anyone about that part because it seemed kind of crazy to miss the same turn twice.

*I really wanted to just give up and go home since the school day was almost done anyway but they've cut all the hours for teaching assistants and the clock was ticking down towards my classroom being manned by naught but a couple of 7th graders with a only a very general idea of the dismissal process.

*My debit card didn't work when I tried to buy gas.  The same way it kind of didn't work the night before when I was paying my cell phone bill but I'd forgotten about that what with all the getting lost and clock ticking and whatnot.

*Plus, I figured I'd just forgotten to enter my new debit card information since I received a new one a while back.

*Thankfully, I remembered that I'd put some cash into my pay-as-you-go card and I was able to get some of the go juice with that.

*When I got home, there was a message waiting from the bank.

*Yup.  The card was locked up tighter than survivors awaiting the end of the zombie apocalypse.

*Somewhere, some vendor had their database hacked.

*And sometime in the near or distant past (who knows for sure since the vendor wasn't identified) I made a purchase from that establishment.

*And now my card has been shut down.  Which is fine.  Responsible of the bank, actually.

*However, a heads up would have been nice.  Preferably before I was stranded 60 miles from home with no cash and naught but a thimbleful of gas.

*I'm just saying is all...

*This isn't the first time this has happened, by the way.  I'm fairly familiar with the process.

*But that doesn't take the sting out of losing my ability to make purchases anywhere, at any time and with wild, plastic-wielding abandon.

*For three to seven business days.

*Tiny Macho came out of the back classroom the other day waving a paper at me.

*Tiny Macho:  Yo, Ms. S.  You gave me this paper about frogs and I can't answer the second question.  I can't read this here word.

*Ms. Sheep: (taking the paper and squinting at the tiny print. she wonders briefly when they started putting out worksheets with such itty-bitty fonts)  OK.  I've got it now.  Let's sound it out, shall we?

*TM: Was kinda hoping you'd just tell me...

*MS:  AM-PHIB-IAN.  Now put it together.  AMPHIBIAN.  Yes, that's right.  The word is "amphibian!"  Isn't that wonderful???

TM:  (with eyes wide) What?  Amphibian?  Does that mean frogs have NO SOULS????


*I don't know why that struck the adults in the room so funny, but we all pretty much lost it.

*TM has a fairly good sense of humor so it wasn't as cruel as it sounds...

*Apparently, it is now acceptable for snow to fall every single day.

*Mostly just flurries, but I've sort of lost patience with the whole sorry business.

*Thankfully, winter wear is now on sale to make way for the spring clothing I don't anticipate ever being able to wear.

*So I was able to get a giant, fluffy hat with kitten ears and and attached scarf with little kitten paw pockets at the end quite cheaply.

*It has been made clear that the kids in my class have lost all respect for me.

*And that I am no longer allowed to speak to them when we go out for recess.

*This could possibly be related to my having invented The Cute Little Kitten Dance to go along with my new hat.

*Interesting new audio book located for the daily commute.

*V Wars is rather long and involves a pretty complex story line.

*And is told through a variety of short stories, not to mention different narrators.

*But I have to admit...I'm transfixed.

*Not bad for a library freebie!

*And it's an "always available" download so there's no problem with the vast amount of listening time required to get through it.

*I've made it up to book 5 in the Vampire For Hire series. (Samantha Moon Rising: Including Books 5, 6, and 7 in the Vampire for Hire Series: Vampire Dawn, Vampire Games, Moon Island, Plus the Short Story "Teeth")

*And snuck in a short story to cover a bit of the details I would have otherwise missed.

*Christmas Moon (Vampire for Hire #4.5)

*But now I'm stuck because I can't get the next one.

*See above note regarding lack of magic plastic money card.

*I wish for all hackers a failed nighttime schedule and a filling/crown situation that impairs dominant side chewing abilities.


There we go.  That about covers it.  I think I'm glad I stuck with the schedule.  I really do feel better for it; like I somehow grabbed a piece of normal away from the clutches of fickle fate.

Now I'm off to see if I can salvage my hair.  I seem to have lost track of time and it has gone and dried without me.  To say I've lost control of this situation would be an understatement and I fear no amount of product is going to straighten this mess out before bedtime.

It's oddly comforting to know that at least fickle fate is sticking with the plan...

SA

WNBP: I'm Not Sure How I Feel About This...

Ah, Ambivalence...welcome back, Old Friend!  Sometimes I get all black and white with my feelings and I need a dose of good old fashioned emotional see-sawing to get back to my usual, waffly self.

That, in a nutshell, kind of describes the state of things around here these days.  Here's more on that in Wednesday Night Bullet Post Format:


*Vacation was wonderful.

*But, as vacations tend to do, it ended all too soon.

*And Monday morning rolled around with all the cold harshness of a snowy day in February.

*Actually, the cold and the snowy stuff was the day before but I'm getting so immune to cold, snow and anything else in the Winter Weather Category that I hardly even notice it any more.

*I dreaded going back.  I really liked that whole Master Of My Own Schedule thing.

*I could use the restroom whenever the spirit moved me!

*Whether I needed to or not!

*But, as of Monday, I had to hold it because a room full of 6th and 7th graders isn't going to teach itself just because I need to answer the call of nature.

*Nor is it going to look anything remotely like I left it when I return.

*Still...it was kind of hard to not feel a bit of gratitude.  At least I had more than a week of work left to come back to.

*Which is more than 22 of my colleagues can say.

*Not to mention everyone who teaches in the gifted program and band.

*While the dust from the first round of layoffs was still hovering in the tear-laden air, they were informed that their respective programs will be ending in mid-May.

*I came back to a flurry of emails, all of which reflected the panic one feels when one's job, the one you thought you had locked in as of Wednesday, is suddenly yanked out from under you on Friday.

*It's a train wreck.  The teacher's union is blaming past and present superintendents.  Past superintendents had the good sense to retire last spring before all this came crashing down and present superintendents are blaming the teacher's union for not taking a vote of accepting furlough days within the time lines given.  Everyone else is evenly split in their accusations, but I'm trying to stay out of it.

*And enjoy my continued paycheck.

*Even if that means going back to work when vacation was really ever so much nicer.

*I was, however, looking forward to lunch.  I got myself a the cutest little pink lunch crock! 

*Follow the linky thingy if you'd like to see it: Crock-Pot SCCPLC200-PK 20-Ounce Lunch Crock Food Warmer, Pink)

*I just plug it in before I go out for recess duty and, by the time I'm finally able to sit down to eat lunch while I help kids during study hall...I have a hot meal!!

*I can't remember the last time I had a hot lunch at school...

*The weather forecast for today was nothing short of weird.  Most of the state was under a storm warning.

*Not me, though.  I live on the coast and we had nothing to worry about according to the weather prognosticators.

*But even 20 miles away, the story seemed different.

*And they kept changing the rain vs. snow line, not to mention when the whole thing was supposed to kick off.

*I finally settled on the harsh reality.  There would be no Wednesday Snow Day.  The timing was off.

*I figured we'd probably get sent home early or something and then I could experience the joys of driving on ice slicked roads in blinding snow.

*Until I got home, that is.  Home was in the Safe Zone.

*I put a lot of thought into this.  So much so that I barely slept a wink all night.

*Which was going to be a problem come 5:00 in the morning when I needed to arise and somehow find my way back to that paying job 'o mine.

*The call came at 5:00 this morning.  Shortly after I got to sleep.

*No school.

*As far as I can tell, there was  mostly rain during the morning hours in the area where I teach.  I can't fathom where the idea to cancel came from.

*Perhaps the superintendent is trying to cover his bases after the last time he tried to pull off a delayed start to school but neglected to announce it to anyone so they could plan accordingly.

*Frankly, I'm not entirely convinced this was the best use of our limited snow day time...

*On the other hand, I was too tired to care.  A certain sleep-deprived Sheepie decided to not look this particular gift horse in the mouth and pencil in an afternoon nap.

*Let's hope this mostly wraps up by tomorrow morning since I doubt we can get another snow day out of this one.

*This is supposed to be a loooooong storm.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty is pretty much at the end of his rope with all this gray and gloomy weather.

Sometimes a guy just needs to bury his head and ignore the world...

*That used to be the pillow on my bed but I bought a new one during vacation and tossed that one on the loveseat until I could figure out what to do with it.

*Apparently, it is rather perfect for angst-filled face smashing so I suppose it will have to stay there.

*I kind of feel the same way, except for the part where I didn't have to drag my half-asleep self to school today.

*I seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time with The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach during my vacation.

*Hair cut on Saturday.

*Lunch and shopping on Monday.

*More with the lunching and shopping on Friday.

*Happily, we didn't set off any alarms this time.  The local police departments were pleased with us.

*However, we did have to put an entire store staff on alert when we got distracted by a discount rack and someone absconded with our cart.

*Note: When shopping for a frame to best set off your much loved and now deceased dog it is not a good idea to take the only copy of the photo along with you.

*Or leave it in the cart.

*Or get distracted long enough that some poor lady thinks the cart is abandoned and has to be apprehended by a wandering Sheepie.

*But we didn't set off any alarms this time so I still think we were ahead of the game on this trip.

*Having spent much of my available cash on all these shopping excursions, my book monies were limited.

*Fortunately, I got a heck of a deal on a six book set that looked at least a little promising.

*Actually, it has paid off rather nicely.

*Samantha Moon, Moon Dance (Vampire for Hire #1), is a delight and her story is actually far more compelling than I would have thought.

*To be brutally honest, there are one or two issues with editing and perhaps a few tweaks here and there to correct for the overuse of certain expressions might have made the experience even better.

*But it hasn't detracted at all from the book in the long run.  I just really like this character and the story in which she's embroiled.

*I'm only just starting book 2 so we'll see how it goes from here, but I have to say it was a good purchase.

*Much like my school vacation shopping, I always make sure to check that discount rack.  Even when it's in digital form!

*My ongoing mission to eat dinner before bedtime is moving along at a predictable pace.

*In other words, I am eating dinner sometime between 7:00 and 10:00.

*Don't judge.  I get all involved in other stuff.  Important stuff like TV and computer games.

*Or the blog, now that I think of it.  I just realized it's after 7:00 and I promised myself this would be wrapped up by 6:30 so I could at least come close to my goal.

*Plus I still have to dry my hair before bed so I don't think this is going to end well.

*And, as I said before, I also don't anticipate another snow day tomorrow so sleeping with wet hair isn't really a good idea.

*Now I don't know what to do first.

*And I still haven't wrapped up this blog post!!!!


OK.  That's what I'll do.  I'll finish the post, double check the links and do a cursory spell check.  Then it's off to either dry or cook.  One of those.

On the plus side, my lunch is still packed for today's aborted school day and I have clean clothes just awaiting tomorrow's morning routine.  I think that, with those things taken care of, I might just make my usual bedtime.

That's a good feeling.

SA

WNBP: I Forgot To Mention...

It just struck me that I think I may have forgotten to tell you something important.  It's not an earth shattering revelation, but it is the kind of thing I generally mention once, twice or a billion times at certain points during the school year.

I am on vacation this week.

I know.  It's kind of crazy that I neglected to drop a hint or two.  I like vacations.  I like them a lot.  I'm not saying I chose my career based on time off or anything like that.  I honestly thought I might have an aptitude for educating America's Future.  I suppose the fact that I've stuck with it for a quarter century might bear that out.

But let's not completely discount the school vacation factor.  It might play a role.

Since I've had a few days of non-working bliss under my belt, why don't we explore the comings and goings of this non-work-a-day Sheepie in this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post?


*Truth be told, I approached this vacation with a bit of the ambivalence.

*I like vacations.  Especially the February Break because it is the first vacation of the school year that doesn't require me to spend at least one day baking.

*Or wrapping.

*Or traveling.

*Or remaining awake well past nap time at least once during the course of the week.

*But this vacation didn't just kick off a few days of rest and relaxation.

*No.

*It was also Doomsday for some of the teaching assistants and clerical staff, not to mention some of the programs and services we've come to enjoy in the wonderful world of education.

*The recent curtailment order from the governor hit the schools hard.  Really hard.

*The Teacher's Association is doing its level best to try and get a vote in on teacher furlough days to see if we can absorb some of the impact to the support staff, but it's a process.

*And one they can't rush or circumvent.  I'm not a member, but even I get that.

*Frankly, I'm shocked they are even willing to consider it.  In the past they've been, how shall we say...

*"Scornful of the idea."  Loudly scornful and with heaping helpings of eye rolls.

*It's actually kind of a bad sign that they are willing to open up the contract to a vote on the matter.

*Nor is it going to be enough to fix the problem created by hundreds of thousands of dollars in promised state funding suddenly going bye-bye.

*Only to be replaced with public flogging of the educational system because apparently things like teacher retirement and fully staffed schools are luxuries to which we have all become too accustomed.

*Fifteen people were let go last Friday.  Most from Special Education, as far as I can tell.

*All support staff (including my teaching assistants) have had their hours firmly cut and the library will be closed and locked at 2:00.

*The After School Help Program is gone.  As is all staff development funding or continuing education reimbursement.

*The custodians have each lost an hour per day as well.

*We will be living in ignorance and wallowing in our own filth unless someone can figure out how to use that floor buffer thingie in the next couple of weeks.

*Each of the support staff was taken out of class for individual meetings with our special ed. director to discuss the matter.

*As my people were led out, my fingers went numb and I moved closer to the trash can in case I tossed my breakfast sandwich.

*We are safe for now.  We can breathe.

*For two weeks.  Then the second round of cuts kicks in and we get to do it all over again.

*I haven't slept a full night for weeks.  For some reason, it got even worse at the start of vacation.

*But yesterday I found a leftover dribble of the narcotic cough syrup I was taking last Fall and I got to take a four hour nap.

*I woke up long enough to eat and take care of a few other bodily functions (mine and the cats') then it was back to bed for another six hours.

*I have a stiff neck today, but I can live with it.

*I kicked off the week 'o bliss by joining The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach for a day of shopping dining and general revelry.

*We love TWGSALC and not just because she takes me to the Professionals Only Store where I can get volumizing gel at a ridiculous discount.

*I was restrained since I am trying to be a more responsible consumer.

*We dined out for lunch.  If you are a local and haven't discovered this place yet, Mainely Wraps is amazing.  Highly recommended by Sheepie!

*It all went very well, at least until we got back to her house and she inadvertently set off the alarm.

*And then tried to turn it off by hitting the first available button.

*They call that particular protrusion The Panic Button.

*And Mr. WGSALC got to see how quickly the nice people at the alarm company call him at work when his wife hits the panic button.

*They have decided to change the first contact number to the house phone as opposed to his cell since that might have saved everyone a lot of time, trouble and hearing impairment.

*It wasn't a total loss.  We got to meet a very nice policeman.

*And see Roxy The Wonder Dog in full on Protect Everyone From The Very Nice Policeman mode.

*In the back of my mind, I just kept thinking about how, even though I miss him dreadfully, it was good that Max The Best Dog In The Whole World passed a few months ago.

*Max was one of those wonderful, gigantic goldens who loves everyone and wants to sit in all laps in spite of his size.

*Until you threaten those he loves.

*Things would not have ended well.

*Yesterday I cleaned house.  The kind of cleaning that involves using vacuum cleaner attachments.

*As opposed to just accidentally knocking them off their little clip and swearing that I'm going to throw them in the garbage since no one ever uses those stupid things anyway.

*It was the cleaning that led to finding the cough syrup dribble.

*Cleaning is a good thing.  I should do it more often.

*Today I had to go back to the store where I went with TWGSALC so I could buy the 3-day emergency supply kit that was on the clearance rack.

*TWGSALC is awesome and makes sure I get out into the fresh air periodically.

*But she would neither understand nor appreciate my prepper need to have a 3-day kit.

*Or that finding the very one I wanted on the half price table made me giddy with joy.

*I may have picked up one or two other things while I was there.

*Nothing much.  All on clearance.

*Besides, as I chanted repeatedly in my head, I wasn't paying for lunch today.  I had a gift card from Mommy and Daddy Sheep!

*And I'm still telling myself that.

*Because my free lunch clearly balanced out the $71.00 worth of clearance merch I dragged back home with me.

*It came with cookies.  Chocolate chip cookies.

*Shut up.  Cookies do too make a difference.

*And the emergency kit came with energy bars so I won't starve now that my grocery budget is compromised.

*It's still kind of too bad since today, when I stopped in to pick up cat food, the clerk looked me up and down then said, "She's funny.  I like this one."

*I'm good with the banter if not the budget.

*I wish I had more to report on the reading front.  But I don't.

*I've mostly been re-reading some older stuff and trying to settle on something new.

*Between the school budget anxiety and resulting insomnia, my decision making ability has become as compromised as my grocery shopping monies.

*I ended up finishing my audiobook a few days before the end of the school week, which left me kind of at loose ends.

*But then I remembered that I still had some borrowed time left on Cat's Claw (A Calliope Reaper-Jones Novel).

*Not enough to finish it, mind you.  But it gave me something to listen to while I drove back and forth, trying to stay awake.

*Now I can't finish it because time ran out and someone else already had it on reserve.

*::sigh::

*That's the chance you take with a library loan.  It's a race you sometimes don't win.

*Probably should put it back on reserve, but I'm sure I'll be into something else by the time it's available and then I'll have to choose between them.

*Which will add something else to my Lie Awake And Worry List...

*I'll never catch up on the lost sleep if that should come to pass.  There's only a couple good napping days left in this vacation.

*And the next one isn't until April.

*I suppose I should start hoping for those furlough days....


That about covers it, I guess.  Come Monday, I get to go back to a full staff who are working almost a full day and that is a good thing.  At least when you consider the alternatives.

Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy these next couple of days and see if I can catch a few more refreshing naps before it starts all over again.

On the "bright" side, most of the firings should be all done before April Vacation rolls around.  Then my head might be clear enough to remember to tell you about it in advance.

You know, so you can prepare for all the merriment, alarm bells and emergency supply sales.

SA