WNBP: Drifting Thoughts And Not So Crazy Preps.

Oh dear!  Here it is, Wednesday once again, and me with nothing to talk about!  Well...it seems to me there was a little something.  It's right on the tip of my tongue.  If only I could just recall what it was I wanted to tell you...

Aha!  I remember now.  IT WAS A GIANT, FREAKING SNOW STORM THAT BLEW OUR HATS OFF AND BURIED US IN LAYERS OF ICY DEATH!!!!!

And then there was probably a bunch of other stuff.  Why don't we get right down to it and see where the Wednesday Night Bullet Post takes us?

*I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for last Friday.  I usually just take the day off for those kinds of things.  Why waste a perfectly good day by going back to work?

*And since there was every indication that a weather "event" was in the making, it seemed prudent.

*But I didn't want anyone to think I was wimping out since the snow wasn't supposed to start until later in the day so I went to the main office to discuss it with Mr. Principal.

*He heard me out.  Listened attentively to my concerns around making it to school just in time to be sent home early.  He nodded sagely as I outlined how my horrible, fiery death-by-car-wreck could be avoided by just not coming to work on Friday.

*He nodded, then said, "But how will the cats feel about you being home all day?"

*It is entirely possible that I have become a cliche.  But let's not dwell on that...

*The snow did not start later in the day.  I started, in point of fact, rather early in the day.

*Which made the trip to the doctor's office rather tricky.  Also the trip to the grocery store and the bank.

*That was OK, though.  Right before a storm, everyone is kind of jolly around these parts.  We peruse each other's carts and chuckle over the need to purchase medications for Very Complicated Kitties before things go from bad to worse.

*Even the lady at the bank thought my comment regarding getting my car payment in just ahead of Armageddon quite witty.

*Armageddon didn't seem too far from the truth at that point.  We were talking actual, honest to God blizzard conditions, multiple feet of snow and flooding over here at the coast.

*The lady at the bank didn't see fit to correct me, at any rate.

*At last, I bade farewell to all my new foul weather friends in the outside world and went home to weather the storm.

*And it snowed.

*And snowed.

*And snowed.

*Then, just for kicks, it snowed some more.

*It all got a bit dull in the middle.  Once you've finished your storm preps (putting light sources in all rooms, purchasing a new shovel and counting the canned goods) there really isn't a heck of a lot to do.

*But then Sunday rolled around and we were all jolly again because we got to see other humans and share shoveling duties.

*We were a little less jolly when we realized that the wind was still whipping around like crazy and that our survivalist smiles were now frozen in place, but I like to think my community rose above it in the end.

*Reports vary but, when all was said and done, it looks like my town got somewhere between 27 and 30 inches of the white stuff over a twenty four hour period.  Myself, I lean towards the lower end of that scale since I don't really want to have over 30 inches of snow outside my house.

*Other people have that.  I happily concede the contest.

*It was tricky to tell just how much we really got what with the wind.  It was really crazy.

*Actual "white-out" conditions.

Mama!  Call the cable man!  I no haz picture!!!!

*It was a fickle wind as well, giving and taking with neither rhyme nor reason.

*Here is a picture of my car on Sunday morning.  Once I slogged through the thigh-high snow blocking the driver's side door, it was really rather easy to clean it off.

The winds blew in my favor.  Thank you, Winds!!

*Oh, and that big white lump directly on the right of the photo?

*Yeah, that would be my neighbor's car.

*Not so much with the "easy clean up."

*And here's something else to think about:  Everyone thinks it's great sport to make fun of Crazy Prepper Girl while the sun shines.

*But in a blizzard when she's the only one in the building with a supply of coffee, even the little specialty cups that fit in a certain popular single cup coffee maker, no one thinks Crazy Prepper Girl is all that chuckle-worthy.

*CPG is the belle of the ball.

*And willing to dispense coffee to the so-called norms who don't prepare at all for Things That Will Probably Never Happen.

*It's all over now.  The sun came out and we all went back to work come Monday morning. We were still kind of jolly.

*But once we'd had the chance to tell our tales of harrowing snowbound horror and the routine reestablished itself, we went right back to our usual grumpy and not at all friendly at the grocery store selves.

*It's right around then that you realize you didn't do nearly as much around the house as you thought you would once trapped inside.

*Storms, the really big ones, don't inspire productivity.  You'd think they would since there isn't much else to do.

*But they don't.  I still had to scramble around on Sunday night to get lunches and matching shoes together.

*I got a little reading done, though.

*Thought it was high time I checked in on my favorite self-renounced angel.

*And A Hundred Words for Hate: A Remy Chandler Novel does not disappoint.  I think it's the best one in the series, thus far!

*I may have grumped my way back to work on Monday, but the commute wasn't the reason.

*One Foot in the Grave (Night Huntress, Book 2) is a delight on audio.

*Even if the reader completely screwed up with the lead male character's voice.

*I mean, honestly!  He sounds like everyone's favorite vampire granny and not at all like the undead hottie he is supposed to be!!!

*Some things one just has to look past.

*Much as one does with giant snowbanks and the "Crazy" part of the prepper girl with coffee she's willing to share.


And that about covers it.  Or at least as much as my internet service provider is willing to cover.  My connection has been dicey since the middle of last week and I haven't gotten around to the service call yet.  I think I'd better try to post this and go see about dinner.  I still have a lot of canned ravioli left over from the storm and it's not going to reheat itself, after all.

Or I could tuck it away for the next big storm.  Right next to the surplus coffee and toilet paper.  I rather liked being popular around here.

SA

WNBP: Wednesday's Back!

Greetings, All!  I trust this Wednesday night finds you well and happy.  It's sometimes hard to believe how quickly midweek rolls around.  Why it feels like only a scant seven days ago, I was sitting right in this very spot and blathering on about whatever nonsense was occurring around me.

Funny thing, time...

Any-hoo, I guess it's time once again to run through the week's events in bullet point format.  Let's see where we end up on this particular W-day!

*I make no promises about blog length tonight.

*It's not so much lack of motivation or material as it is lack of chair stamina.

*Can't sit for too long.  Or lie down.  I can stand pretty darned good, but that gets kind of tiring after a few hours.

*My back hurts.  It started aching last week and I thought, "Oh, woe is me!  For I am surely the most pathetic and put upon creature in the world what with this aching back of mine!"

*Yesterday it felt better.  And I rejoiced for no one likes an aching back.

*And then, right there in front of the microwave, breakfast paraphernalia and various cats scattered about...

*I sneezed.

*I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who has ever had lower back pain.

*Deeply and sincerely apologize.  I'll grovel and weep if you'd like.

*Because if I ever compared my occasional lower back pain to actual, honest-to-god Pain, I am now truly humbled.

*One sneeze.  That was all it took.  Suddenly, I was seized with a pain unlike anything I have ever experienced.

*Driving to work was fun.

*Not.

*I moved the stupid seat into about fifty different positions before I found one that didn't make my back scream and my feet go numb.

*I was relieved when I took the last right turn towards my school.  Until I realized how one's body reacts to right turns in the car.

*It tries to use its core muscles to remain upright and not go sailing into the car window.

*Which hurts a lot if you've managed to tweak your back.

*And how did I tweak my back, you may ask?

*Picking up my cell phone.  Turning to the left and reaching for an item that weighs less than an apple.

*This will be funny someday.  Not now.  But someday...

*Back is markedly better today.  I know because I don't suddenly find myself wheezing, wincing and squealing every time I perform some mundane action that I never really thought about until my back got all old and dysfunctional.

*We've had several weird things happen at school this year.  The staff has taken to naming some of the bigger ones to save time should we need to reference those days.

*For example, the day of the gas leak is now referred to as Gasoline Friday.

*I've heard the day when the powers that be failed to notify people that the school was having a two hour delay due to the black ice as Bus-capades.

*Lots of late buses sliding about and trying to capture children who didn't know the day's school schedule.

*I hope that name catches on.  I rather like it...

*We don't have a name for last Friday, though.

*No one has the heart to make light of the meeting where we learned of the effects our governor's recent curtailment order will have on our staff and students.

*The governor is not a fan of public schools.  Not by a long shot.  Nor is he particularly tactful about it.

*Which is why no one was particularly surprised that the state's schools took a fairly hard hit when Daddy stopped handing out the allowance money he promised.

*Programs are shut down.  Positions are going unfilled and we anticipate around thirty or so layoffs within the next month to cover the monies we thought we were getting but aren't.

*I liken Mr. Governor's attitude towards school reform to the guy with the car that needs some work.

*Instead of performing routine maintenance and replacing the worn parts, he drains all but six drops of oil, lets the air out of three tires, dribbles water in the gas tank and keys his doors.

*Then he drives the car to its breaking point through the driest desert at high noon and, as a final measure of disdain, smashes it with a sledgehammer a few times.

*Finally, he points to the car and says, "See?  I told you it was a piece of crap.  I want a new one."

*Yeah.  It's kind of like that.

*I am a delightful person and a reasonably good conversationalist.  I have a basic understanding of table manners and I never once blew my nose on a tablecloth.

*I am not, however, anticipating an invitation to dinner at the governor's mansion any time soon.

*There's a snowstorm on the horizon.

*If it comes this way and does what they say it's going to do, we should be left with over a foot of snow.

*I wasn't particularly relishing the idea of driving in that.  Nor was my back since I anticipated a lot of tensing up and turning around to watch the cars going off the road all around me.

*But it seems I have a doctor's appointment on Friday so I might be able to work out a day off.

*A snow day isn't a guarantee here.  The timing could be tricky.  Best to take the sick day, assuming I can get coverage.

*The one down side to this upcoming lack of commute is that I started a new audio book today.

*I finished Undead and Unemployed (Undead/Queen Betsy) yesterday and the book I was wait listed for at the state library hadn't come through yet.

*Just when I was resigned to listening to Cat's Claw (A Calliope Reaper-Jones Novel), a miracle occurred in the form of a well-timed email!

*One Foot in the Grave (Night Huntress, Book 2) was ready and waiting for download!!

*Not that a few days with Calliope would be a bad thing, mind you.  I just really wanted to hear the other one.

*Perhaps the library knew of my back issues and took pity on me...

*Now I'll miss a day of uninterrupted listening should I take time off for the doctor's appointment or snow day.

*Whichever comes first...

*But I'll find a way to live with it.

*I'm tough.  If I can survive Gasoline Friday and The Sneeze That Shook Me To My Very Core, I can get through this.


Well, that's it for me, I'm afraid.  The back is saying that it doesn't like the office chair anymore.  It wants to wander around the living room for a while, clenching and knotting and being generally disagreeable.  I don't think it's going to be patient for much longer regarding this demand.

I am currently being very kind and accommodating to my back.  One never knows when the next sneeze will roll around...

SA

WNBP: A Delay By Any Other Name...

I hate to start a Wednesday Night Bullet Post with a vocabulary lesson, but I honestly don't see where I have a choice.  These school-specific terms are going to be quite helpful in getting through tonight's post.  You'll just have to bear with me.

And I promise there won't be a quiz or anything at the end.  Unless you want one.  But I honestly fail to see why you'd demand that...

Early Release:  The termination of the school day prior to its regularly scheduled conclusion.  Generally weather induced, but sometimes caused by workshops or randomly occurring nonsense.

Delayed Start: When a school district decides to postpone the start of the school day until it is safe to transport students.  Also generally related to weather and road conditions.  There are 2 hour delays and 1 hour delays.  My school district generally goes with the latter and this means kids arrive in homeroom around 9:15

Late Start:  (local vocabulary may differ on this one)  The pre-planned postponement of school hours in order that staff development needs may be met; generally done on a weekly basis and instrumental in cutting the cost of the five billion subs needed to cover classrooms should they send teachers out to do all this stuff during the regular school day.  Or the cost of paying said staff to go do it during non-school hours.  Students will arrive for homeroom at 9:45 on Late Start days.  That is later than on a Delayed Start day

There.  Are we all on the same page?  Is it clear as mud now?  Good.  Let us begin with this week's regularly scheduled bullet post!


*Last Friday there was an issue at the Learn-a-matorium.  A generator, possibly in protest of the crazily cold weather, began leaking liquid fuel all over one of the stairwells.

*In an effort to clean up the mess and ventilate the rather pungent fumes, the stairwell was closed off to traffic and mopping up/airing out activities began in earnest.

*I guess the mopping went well.  The ventilating sort of went awry.

*Fumes everywhere.  Stinky gassy fumes.  The kind that make the fire department suggest we all go outside.

*Except, as the school resource officer pointed out, it was well below zero out there and sending kids outside was counter intuitive.  And possibly abusive.

*All buses were tied up dealing with the schedule changes caused by finals at the high school so an early release was out of the question.

*And if you're thinking that perhaps finals might be secondary to the bronchial health of a couple of hundred kids, you are not alone in this.  But, much like us, you would be overruled.

*We put kids in the gym.  We put them in the library.  We put them everywhere one might think of except in the academic wings where the pungent fumes were thickest.  Parents were called through the auto-dial system in case they wanted to come get their children and we carried on.

*I was able to stay in my classroom, so I gathered as many of my charges as I could find, fired up the video game station and said, "have at it."

*That was Friday afternoon.

*We were all still smarting from Wednesday's horrific road conditions and failure of the local schools to implement a delayed start so you can imagine the overall mood.

*I think the only one who had a good time was He Who...PROJECTS.  He had a great day.  He got to skip math and look at pictures of Grumpy Cat on his computer.

*He spent his time going between my office and the main classroom quoting captions.  Enthusiastically and with great projection.  Best day ever.

*At least until he came out and merrily bellowed, "FOR THE LAST TIME, WHERE ARE MY BALLS?"

*Even without questioning context, it seemed best to curtail his Internet investigations for the day and find something more wholesome for him to look at.

*Today is Wednesday.  Wednesday is the day that grades 6-12 have a late start.

*I overslept by ten minutes today.

*Ten minutes isn't much.  But it is enough to have one rushing and flailing about frantically as if those ten minutes can be magicked back through sheer will.

*There was a bit of black ice on the road so getting out and on the way was sort of crucial.  Hence the flailing.

*I still managed to arrive at school by 7:00 and with plenty of time to tend to a few matters before the first meeting.

*Then I read my email.

*Which said we had a 2 hour delay due to poor road conditions.

*There was no notice of this.  No phone calls.  No text messages.  Nothing on the news.

*Apparently, the decision was made at 7:04.  Or so.  Information on road conditions kept coming into the superintendent's office all willy-nilly and no one got up the gumption to make the call until it was too late to really make it a useful gesture.

*Now the students who think they have to be at school at 9:45 actually have to be at school at 9:15 and are expected to know this in spite of not having been told.

*And there were buildings full of staff members twiddling their thumbs because they can't start workshops due to the fact that school isn't really open and that constitutes working before contracted hours.

*There was about an hour of people staring blankly at one another and asking, "um...what do we do now?" before we all figured out that we could be photocopying stuff.

*Then you couldn't get near a photocopier for love or money.

*Phones were ringing off the hook as buses rolled past houses of half-dressed children.

*The elementary school couldn't figure out what to do because this was the day of their once-monthly early release day devoted to their own staff development and now they were going to have kids for an hour before sending them back home.

*Little Einstein, in his rush to catch the early bus, left his house sans meds and had to be peeled off the ceiling well before lunch.

*It was only when he caught himself doing a rather impressive imitation of a grasshopper (complete with the boing-boing sound to accompany his jumping) that he admitted, "I think I should maybe go see the nurse and take that pill now."

*The superintendent, who is new to the job and maybe still getting used to the idea, had to issue a written apology on the district web site. 

*And try to explain why there weren't enough buses to cover multiple runs to multiple schools with multiple hours of operation when there was a late start coinciding with a delayed start and an early release.  

*Can you say, "cluster?"  It was that.  And then some.  Between the near-death driving experiences many of us had the week before, the gas bath we gave the students a few days later and today's Late Start That Was Really A Delayed Start Debacle...

*Well, let's just say things are tense.  Parents are tense.  Teachers are tense.  Kids are tense. (mostly because their parents and teachers keep beating their heads gently upon the closest available surface and muttering ominously)  There is tension.

*I left school early today.  Only by ten minutes, but I figured I was owed that.

*Left a message with Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk in case anyone called.

*"Tell anyone who calls that I am done with this stupid day."

*She just nodded because it was, in fact, a stupid day.

*The commute got a bit dicey there for a bit.  And not just because of the weather and lack of delayed starts.

*I finished my audio book and the next in the series wasn't available.  I had to put it on hold at the library, but heaven knows how long that will take.

*I got by for a couple of days with Stonefather.  But that one is really short.  Panic was beginning to set in.

*Then I remembered I had an audio book credit paid for and awaiting my decision so I quickly downloaded Undead and Unemployed (Undead/Queen Betsy).

*Now, even though I have to drive back and forth over black ice to go to a place that may or may not be open for business and which has a lovely petroleum scent about it, I have something to keep me entertained on the way.



Now do you see why it was so important to know the difference between "delay" and "late?"  Late is late either way, but a delay has meanings galore.  And apparently "delay" also means having to go school at the usual time and then doing nothing when you get there.  Or it might mean you think you have to be in homeroom at 9:45 when you really have to be there half an hour earlier.  And that you have to know this on some deep inner level as opposed to the usual methods of gaining knowledge such as seeing it or hearing it.

But it definitely means you will be very glad the day is over no matter what version you use.

SA

WNBP: Weird, Wild, Wacky Times!

Well, I'm not afraid to admit it when I don't understand something.  And weather?  That is just a mystery to me!!  It changes at a whim, causes odd atmospheric pressures that affect mind and body, then just when you think you've found a way to live with it, decides that it couldn't care less about the state of my hair!!!

Mother Nature, indeed!  No self-respecting woman would take a perfectly good hair day and throw it to the four winds.  I simply refuse to believe that.  "Bad Boy Juvenile Delinquent Nature" is more like it.

It's an odd kind of week all around here in Sheepish Land.  I darned near missed the Wednesday Night Bullet Post what with all the confusion...

*The past weekend was of the "long" variety.  The kind that comes in a 3 pack as opposed to 2.

*I spent much of the Monday holiday preparing for the mega-storm bearing down upon us.

*By the time I went to bed around 10:30, we were looking straight down the barrel at about a foot of snow.

*I set the alarm and packed a lunch anyway.  Sure, there was no chance of school given the dire forecast but it never hurts to prepare either way.

*Good thing.  By the time the alarm went off, the weather people were saying, "never mind" and balmy breezes were wafting past my window.

*There was no snow.  Not so much as a flake.  It was, in fact, a rather sunny day.

*Which is why you should always pack a lunch.  Sometimes 12 inches = 0.

*Math.  Something else I don't always understand.

*Of course the sub-arctic temperatures they forecast managed to make their way to my corner of the globe quite nicely.

*When I drove to school in darkness this morning, the car told me it was 12 degrees outside.

*When I drove home during the daylight hours, the car reported that it was 6 degrees.

*I realize that, to some, this is just a January walk in the park.  Nothing to write home about.  Why, they can clearly recall the time the mercury sank so low it drove the thermometer clear down to the bottom of the eight foot snowbank just outside the front door!!

*I, however, am not built for this.

*The cats are happy, though.  All that icy air triggers the monitor heater and it's been blasting away all day trying to compensate for the chill.

*Which is why I now have two furry heater-huggers sucking up all teh warmz.

*Various icky, nasty, boogery type germs have been making their way around my classroom of late.

*I am using disinfecting wipes like they are going out of style.  My hands reek of cleanser and are dry enough to sand paint.

*You can tell kids fifty thousand times to wear plastic baggies on their hands, but they'll still wander around touching everything with their bare, crusty digits.

*And laugh at you while they do it.

*I'm planning on duct taping them all under a protective plastic coating.

*It's just a matter of waiting for school board approval which I'm certain will be no problem.

*Jolly Boy came into the main classroom the other day as I was diligently wiping down all the pens and pencils available for student use.  He stopped, stared for a moment and then said:

Err...I hate to interrupt your anal retentive behavior but I had a question about this math paper.

*I had no idea he knew words like "anal retentive."  Much less how to use them in context.

*Either I'm the greatest teacher known to mankind or the little rascal has been goldbricking it for over a year now...

*With one staff person out for most of the past five school days, it's been kind of tiring over at The Learn-a-Matorium.

*Yesterday, after answering the billionth question of the day, I couldn't handle it anymore.  It was the last period and I was spent.  I put my head on the disinfected table and told them all I was done.  Mama was tired now.

*I guess I'm not the only one because He Who....PROJECTS looked up blearily and mumbled, "Daddy's tired too..."

*And today he suddenly became overwhelmed by the fear that God was going to strike him down for offenses committed during the holiday break and we had to bring him up to the classroom to show him funny cat pictures on the Internet for half an hour.

*Funny cat pictures can pretty much cure what ails ya.  Except for the boogery virus things.  Those require disinfecting wipes and a diligent teacher.

*Otherwise, funny cat pictures will cover it.

*For those who are keeping track of my Not-A-New-Years-Resolution, I have remembered to eat dinner before 7:00 every night this week.

*Once it was 6:57, but that counts.

*Tonight is a toss up since I just remembered I forgot to put dinner in the oven but I still think two days in a row is pretty good.

*Especially with all the preparing for storms that kind of don't really exist.

*I am loving the heck out of the audio version of Halfway to the Grave (Night Huntress, Book 1).

*Of course, the author could probably have used a grammar brush up at the time of its writing.  I kind of can't help but catch these things.

*But the story is so darned compelling that I forgive a little bit of over-writing and why one should proof read with one's direct objects in mind.

*I'm hoping the library has a few more of this series in stock.  Haven't checked yet.  But I still have a few commuter miles on this one before things get dire.

*In the realm of the printed word, I've become somewhat charmed by the Black London books.

*Street Magic (Black London, Book 1) started off a bit slow and I feared the worst but was hooked by the time it wound itself down to the conclusion.

*Demon Bound (Black London, Book 2) was safely snuggled in my Nook before the weekend was out.

*Remember, I thought there was going to be a storm.  I feared being trapped under a foot of snow whilst 6 degree temperatures threatened to freeze my nostrils shut should I leave the house.

*I needed something to read.

*However, as I noted earlier, the weather decided to go from Armageddon to Blindingly Sunny in the period of a few hours so I suppose I might have purchased in haste.

*But I'm OK with that.  A good book is never a bad purchase even if you have to read it during Sustained Silent Reading period and surrounded by middle school boys who don't much care if the protagonists ever get together or not.

*Middle school boys, much like the weather, are kind of incomprehensible to me...


And that's the week so far, at least the parts that are fit to print.  And by that I mean the stuff that isn't so boring you'd fall asleep right there at the keyboard, soon to awaken with a space bar imprint upon your cheek.  Which isn't going to benefit anyone, now is it?

I'm off to see if I can make dinner hot before the 7:00 deadline and try to figure out something I can wear to school tomorrow that affords warmth without bulk.  Bulk is bad so soon after the holidays, methinks.

Or I may just throw caution to the wind and lay out a pair of capris with a matching scoop neck tank.  At this rate, that might actually work.


SA

WNBP: Stoopid Is As Stoopid Does

I try to not judge.  I see stupid stuff all the time and it is often hard to not shout out, "Hey, that's just about the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my entire life!!!"

But I refrain when humanly possible.  I like to think that this will perhaps spare me hearing that haunting refrain the next time I perform some amazing feat of utter folly.

Let's see how this week has been shaping up via The Wednesday Night Bullet Post:

*Every Wednesday, my school district has a delayed start time in order that we might get in the five billion staff development tasks we've been charged with.

*That's why I wasn't completely shocked to see that school wasn't cancelled today.

*There was snow.  More than I thought we'd see if the truth be told.

*But, it was certainly within the realm of possibility that it might stop before it was time to bus the kids in, right?

*Of course the elementary schools aren't on the same schedule we are and they might all be subject to a fiery bus crash, but I told myself that there are those who know better than I when it comes to these sorts of things.

*We have to trust in those who know stuff.

*I did, however, swear vengeance upon those who thought to make me drive all the way in to school only to turn me around to go home again if that was what they were planning.

*It was with these thoughts that I gathered my things and stumbled towards the door.

*Which I closed behind me firmly.

*And upon which I next performed The Three Tugs Lock Test That Guarantees The Door Is Secured Against All Intruders.

*Then I stood in there for a while because I realized my keys were on the other side of the now locked door.

*It is hard to find people who can unlock your door at 6:00 in the morning.

*I mentally ran through the list several times so I know this.

*Kicking the door accomplishes nothing, in case you were wondering.

*I like to think that my readers are not the sort who might be impressed with my mad card skills when it comes to locked doors.

*I picture you all as a respectable group who don't want to hear what can be accomplished with an auto club card and the will to make doors open.

*I won't elaborate.

*Except to say that most nefarious types don't have to deal with a cat on the other side of the door trying to snatch the card or shove it back out as it wiggles around the door jamb.

*When I fell into the manse through my suddenly open door, I almost landed on the mighty defender of my home and property.

*He looked disappointed that it was over.

*I was fifteen minutes behind schedule at that point.

*And it was snowing a lot harder than when last I glanced outside.

*A lot.

*I passed three cars well off the road by the time I'd gone five miles along the Maine Turnpike.

*Then I stopped looking.

*I was half an hour later than usual to school.  Barely in time to make the first workshop session.

*Which, thankfully, was postponed to give everyone a chance to slide into the parking lot.

*I was grateful.  I needed time to just...sit.

*This is the kind of day where they send us all home early.  Which seemed kind of stupid since we'd only just gotten there.

*The only thing stupider would be to make us stay so that's what they did.

*Very few school districts closed.

*I know because I checked five billion times.

*At noon, I looked at the New Teaching Assistant and said, "That's it.  I give up.  A watched school cancellation list never updates."

*I was exhausted by then anyway.

*The drive home wasn't that bad, actually.  I heard of a few others who didn't manage quite so easily, though.

*Two cows died this morning, tragically struck by a snowplow.  Traffic was blocked on route 4 for quite a while.

*That isn't funny.  No, not at all.

*I don't like it when animals suffer.

*But we were all kind of stressed out by the whole storm thing so I have to confess to some strained giggles.

*While I was walking him to his locker after lunch, He Who...PROJECTS looked at me curiously and asked, "Ms. Sheep, are you too old to exercise?"

*He's on a fitness kick these days and has to be almost physically restrained from standing up in the middle of the cafeteria and announcing to all that their diets are killing them.

*Then demanding that they all join him in a rousing round of five hundred jumping jacks.

*I'm too old, apparently.  I'd probably be exempt.  Maybe I could hold his megaphone or something.

*I think I need a spare key.  I used to have one.

*But then I put it someplace for emergencies and I haven't the foggiest notion where it went after that.

*But I can't always count on my cat burglar skills.

*Or that my cat won't improve upon his ninja skills.

*A spare key really does seem like a good idea.  I should get on that.

*Soon.  Really soon.

*Fairly soon.

*It's important.  It should go on the "Things I'm going to get to any day now" list.

*I had to return an audio library book half listened to.

*I'm sorry.  But there are some stupid things I simply won't tolerate.

*If you are going to write about sentient zombies who can talk and operate motor vehicles then you'd best be doing it ironically.

*Or it's back to the digital download site you go!!!

*At which point, I will take out a copy of Halfway to the Grave (Night Huntress, Book 1).

*And it will be good so don't test me on this.

*It is better than Greywalker (Greywalker, Book 1).

*Which is good, but I'm finding it kind of hard to really connect with the story line or the main character.  

*It's kind of like the author really didn't feel much like telling the back story.  

*Should have gone the flashback route and just started in the middle of things, I think.

*But that makes me think the next one in this series might be better so I'm probably going to give it a shot.

*I'll get back to you.  

*Regarding my Not A New Year's Resolution:  I finally managed to eat dinner before 7:00 last night!

*I ate dinner at 6:55.  

*That counts.  

*This is all a work in progress, OK?  I'm not a miracle worker, here!  Change takes time!!

*It is now 6:29.  And I am thinking about remembering to eat dinner before 7:00 so I stand a good chance.

*Or I'll forget before I finish spell-checking the blog, something I've proven myself wont to do.

*What was I saying?  I got all impressed with my use of the word, "wont" and now I'm kind of sidetracked...

*Not stupid.  Just distracted.  


Now I'm tired from reliving all the day's stupidity so I should wrap this up.  Besides, there's something I think I said I should be doing and I want to be ready when I recall what it was.  It might have something to do with that rumbling in my stomach...

Yup.  I try to not judge the stupidity of others.  It seems like the Karmic thing to do.

SA

WNBP: Post Holiday...Something.

Most of the teachers at my school agreed that this week might prove to be just a tiny bit...yucky.  At the very least, it promised to be harder than last week.

Let's face it: having a vacation, lots of prezzies and then coming back to a three day work week is pretty darned awesome.  It's that first full week back that hurts.

But it isn't the end of the world and I honestly can't complain about the kidlets.  They've been rather good about the whole thing.  With few exceptions, they've handled the return to work and dealing with their teachers like troupers.

I could probably take a lesson from a few of them if I wasn't so tired and fussy from being asked to work five days in a row...

Here's your Wednesday Night Bullet Post for the week.  I'm going to see if I can act more like an adult for the duration of one post.  Maybe that will keep things on track for Thursday and Friday.

*My car had eighty ba-zillion pounds of ice adhered to the roof from the last couple of storms.

*Yesterday, things warmed up considerably.

*Which meant that eighty ba-zillion pound of ice was rattling and shaking quite threateningly as I barreled home along the Maine Turnpike.

*I honestly didn't know what it was until I saw a great, whacking sheet of the stuff go flying off behind me to smash onto the highway.

*When I got home, I had to lift the rest of it off by hand because I don't want to be known as the person who took out fifteen windshields during the morning commute.

*It's all still sitting in the driveway because I don't feel like dragging sheets of ice off into the snowbanks this week.

*I already have to work five days in a row.  I shouldn't be expected to lug ice sheets hither and yon.

*I was rather put out to discover that there was nothing on TV last weekend.  Not even when I checked the On Demand channels.

*That is horrifying to me since television defines my life and reruns seem to be a negative comment on my progress.

*Then I discovered the last season of Mob Wives: Season 1 (Uncensored).

*I lost an entire Sunday to MW.  The whole thing.

*I forgot to call Mommy and Daddy Sheep like I always do.

*Darkness fell and I realized I had nothing prepared for lunches.  Ditto for Monday garments.

*I'm not proud of it.  It's not exactly Masterpiece Theater.

*But...I just couldn't help myself!  It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion or the Very Complicated Kitty trying to get past his own belly to clean the base of his tail.

*You want to look away.  You really do.

*But you just...can't.

*If I could spend an afternoon with Big Ang, I'd die happy.  I'd die laughing.

*Also probably full of wine and botox...

*One of the features of the sixth grade experience in my school district are The Puberty Talks.

*Long time readers may recall those from back when I taught at the other school.

*I'd forgotten about them.  Now I remember because we had them today.

*Boys in one room.  Girls in the other.

*He Who...PROJECTS has a few social quirks.  It was unlikely he was going to be able to sit in the "boy" room without engaging in a great deal of commentary.

*Long rambling commentary, some of which might be related to the topic at hand or an answer to a question, but mostly the stuff of classes that go well beyond the allotted time.

*He means well.  And he's curious.  Just not always socially aware, is all.

*I decided to have a little chat with him beforehand.  We discussed how to respond to boys who might get silly and embarrassed.

*We agreed to ignore them.

*We also discussed how it's OK to ask and answer questions when called on.

*But we agreed that any long stories or extended questions should be brought back to our classroom where they could be addressed without arousing the ire of fifty or so sixth grade boys who just want to go to PE.

*Then it kind of went south...

Ms. Sheep:  Remember, you'll learn more by listening than by talking.  And don't be surprised if some of the boys get silly.  This is where you learn about puberty and becoming a teenager and sometimes that's embarrassing for some kids.

He Who...PROJECTS:  TEENAGERS?  I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THAT.  TEENAGERS HAVE CELL PHONES.  MY MOM SAID I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF A CELL PHONE YET.

MS:  No.  Not cell phones.  You're going to learn about some of the changes that will happen to your body when you start to become a teenager.

HW...P:  OH.  SO WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT ALL THE NEW PRIVILEGES WE GET FOR OUR BODIES WHEN WE ARE TEENAGERS?

MS:  (now projecting somewhat herself)  NO!  NO BODY PRIVILEGES.  DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, GO HOME TONIGHT AND TELL YOUR MOTHER MS. SHEEP SAID YOU WERE GETTING NEW PRIVILEGES FOR YOUR BODY!!!!!

*I sent him off to his puberty talk and hoped for the best.

*He did well.  As the other student I had in there.

*The Boy With The Cuteth Lithp EVER stomped into the room when it was all over.  He was put out. And had something to say about the whole matter.

*"Thothe guyth need to jutht grow up!!!!"

*I couldn't have put it better myself.  Or in a cuter fashion because that lisp is seriously the most darling thing I've ever heard.

*Puberty talks make me tired.  We should not have the puberty talks on the first full week back after vacation.

*I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying listening to Undead and Unwed (Undead/Queen Betsy).

*It's sort of like Mob Wives.  You really want to be better.  Especially since there are some definite issues with the reading and editing of this novel.  And it's not great literature to begin with.

*But I'm snickering my way down the highway each day and I'm not afraid to admit it.  This is just a fun story!

*I also checked out a copy of River Marked (Mercy Thompson, Book 6) from the library.  

*I didn't finish it before it had to be returned last time and it was already on hold so I had to wait.

*I think I'll have time to listen to the rest of it before the clock ticks down now that I don't have a pesky week and a half break to keep me away from the morning commute.

*This is a strategy for getting past that whole post-holiday-back-to-work-for-five-straight-days situation.


And now I realize that I forgot dinner.  Great.  That is every Wednesday since I-don't-know-when in a row.  I am starting to think that this particular New Year's Resolution (of a sort since I don't really DO resolutions...) isn't working out very well.  I honestly thought I was capable of remembering I have to eat one last meal for the day on a regular basis and before 7:30 rolls around.  Now I have to figure out the time ratio between my supper and my evening snack which is going to take up half the time left before bed!

I blame the five day work week.  I should write a letter or something...

SA

WNBP: All In Our Places...In Theory.

Well, that's it for the holiday break.  I spent the first day of 2013 finishing up a few of the random projects I'd set for myself during the down time and then focused on Getting Ready.

I'm not saying it's a resolution or anything.  I don't do resolutions.  But I will admit to wanting less of a hurry/flurry thing going on in the mornings.  I reasoned that half the problem was a lack of preparedness and vowed to have everything ready to go come Wednesday morning in order that I might make it to work on time without having to break any land speed records.

How did I fare?  Well, let's just say I'm glad today was one of our Late Start/Staff Development Days.  And that I wasn't the only one dashing into the building with flat hair, a gas tank nearing empty and half a cup of coffee sloshing around in a dirty travel mug....

Here's the Wednesday Night Bullet Post, rife with tales of the return to the routine!

*I was late.  I don't know exactly where I went wrong.

*It might have had something to do with my hitting the snooze button and muttering, "I am some kinda wicked prepared so I don't have to get up on the first alarm."

*Or the second, apparently.

*The third actually kind of jolted me back to reality and I honestly did still have plenty of time...

*But lost it somewhere in the next thirty five minutes of morning routine roulette.

*Everyone made it in to school today, although I wasn't the only straggler.

*We looked pretty darned good, too.

*Let's face it:  We are never so buffed, pumiced and polished as we are after Christmas.

*Every stocking is stuffed with health and grooming products, the kind we never think to use on a regular basis.

*I saw more polished nails than I've seen since the last holiday season.

*My nails were not polished and, as I mentioned, my hair was kind of flat.  But I still had that post-holiday glow about me that can only come from new lotions.

*For what it's worth, buffed and polished mean nothing if you forget your lunch on the kitchen counter while you scramble out the door on your first day of Being More Organized In The Mornings.

*Mr. Principal started our meeting by saying, "Well, I notice quite a few new hairstyles this morning!"

*Which was a pretty good opening line, I thought.

*I slept great last night!  I was worried about that, what with all the insomnia I've had lately.

*So how come I was so tired today?????

*I'm not talking "gosh, I think I need a second cup of coffee" tired.

*I'm talking wiped out, falling asleep on my feet tired.

*I don't have regular recess or lunch duties, but I stick around the cafeteria and playground just in case there's trouble with any of my students.  It's kind of an unofficial duty.

*Which means I get to sit down on the stage at the front of the cafeteria instead of walking around giving stern looks and keeping an eagle eye out for flying mashed potatoes.

*I dozed off on the stage.

*Just for a second; there was no embarrassing tumble to the tile involved or anything.

*But seriously...in the crowded cafeteria?  The loud cafeteria?  Whilst sitting up on a stage?????

*I suggested that my teaching assistants send someone up to check on me during fourth period when they are out covering classrooms.

*We agreed that the kids probably wouldn't do anything too horrible to me should I fall asleep on the floor.

*They'd probably cover me with a jacket and then go quietly play computer games, shushing anyone who came into the room for fear I'd awaken and start wildly teaching English.

*But it still seemed like bad form to be snoozing during class time....

*I have made an executive decision.

*Dinner time is now 7:00.

*I used to schedule dinner for 6:00.  Then I'd forget all about it or somehow assume that dinner is something which magically produces itself, ready for consumption at the appointed hour.

*Dinner is now scheduled for 7:00.  I'm going to pretend I am a very cosmopolitan and continental type of person who dines late.

*As opposed to a middle school teacher with morning organization issues who needs to be out the door at the crack of dawn and who forgets her salad on the kitchen counter.

*And whose socks didn't match this morning either.

*The continental/cosmo types don't ever have that kind of thing happening in their lives.  They dine late, sleep deeply and swoop gracefully out the door sometime around noon for their pedicures.

*I have come to expect somewhat grumpy kids after a long school vacation.  That's just part of the game.

*This year, the little tricksters surprised me by being quite pleasant.  Dare I say it...even happy to be back!

*Everyone claimed to enjoy his/her break and had fun stories to tell.  It was a very pleasant day.

*At least the parts I remember since I may or may not have been dozing for God knows how long.

*And if you don't factor in the whole Aren't I So Much More Organized Now fiasco.

*I decided to pick up a copy of Deadtown (A Deadtown Novel).

*It's one I started reading on my Kindle app last year, but didn't finish.

*I read across devices.  It's a quirk.  One that Amazon doesn't really appreciate all that much.

*I figured I might as well pay for it twice and finish it on my Nook as opposed to wondering how it all turned out.

*It isn't my favorite series, but certainly good enough that I picked up Hellforged (A Deadtown Novel) before the last bell tolled on my holiday break.

*And in the car?  Oh, I found a fun little "listen" for the daily commute!

*Undead and Unwed (Undead/Queen Betsy)

*Not great literature, by any means.  And I wasn't sure about it at all.

*But it's got good "snicker value."  

*And anything that can make you snicker while you're dashing through the dark, hoping against hope that you make it to work on time is worth the price.



Well, I see by the clock on the wall that it is 6:35.  Since dinner still hasn't gotten around to mysteriously appearing when needed, I guess I'd better go craft something.  Having forgotten my lunch, it seems prudent.

Then it's off to the closet to select tomorrow's outfit and check the sock color in the "good light."There is yet another school day ahead of me tomorrow and, with some quality planning, I'll bet I get there early!

It could happen...

SA

WNBP: The Best Laid Plans

At long last...it is here!  The holiday break from school is the first "big" vacation and one that comes with oodles and oodles of awesomeness.  I have learned through the years that it is best to keep one's Christmas expectations reasonable.  It is a little too easy to let those visions of sugar plums grow into gargantuan monsters named Gotta Do and Shoulda Done and that always leads to a let down after the fact.  I'm pretty good these days about keeping my promises of holiday perfection to a level I might reasonably achieve.

The vacation part, however, is always a little bit dicey.  Somehow, I think that I have way more time than I actually possess.  I forget that there is the whole "holiday" thing plonked down right at the beginning of it all and that there will be one or two "reasonable achievements" I need to get finished.  Or that I might be a wee bit wiped out after all that reasonable achieving and need a day of down time.

Then there's the after holiday sales.  Those trip me up every time.  I can't be home remodeling the bathroom if I'm doing battle at the clearance table.

Still...a vacation isn't anything to sneeze at.  Vacations rock the house, remodeled bathroom or not.  They make remembering getting in a Wednesday Night Bullet Post on the right day a little tricky, but I usually manage it.  And tonight is no exception!

Here's your Christmas Vacation Version of the weekly highlights:

*I managed to survive the two days of teacher workshops scheduled right before break.

*We used to do these before Thanksgiving.  It was still Fall and we were all still rather excited to be educating the future of our great land.  Hence, we were pretty darned invested.

*Now they do it right before the holidays.  When everyone can only think about the unwrapped presents and unbaked snickerdoodles.

*We lack investment.

*Usually, I'm late signing up for workshops and have to take the leftovers.

*This year, I caught a break.  The registration system went down right after opening and kicked all the early birds out.

*I logged in seconds after everything went "live" again and the world was my oyster!!

*The goal of workshops is to "take away."

*As in "stuff you can use with kids."

*I scored big.  My first session ended with me connecting to a program that educates kids about the stereotyping of the elderly and has some pretty neat opportunities for community service.

*My "making paper beads" workshop with The Cheerful Teaching Assistant was great.  There are several math lessons in there and I made a whole bunch of beads.

*All of which looked exactly like little festive joints.

*My paper was too small.

*However, I achieved a perfectly tight roll.

*Had I only mastered this skill back in college, I'd have been the belle of the ball.

*At least with that group who always hung out in the dorm basement...

*The mandatory sessions and keynotes were a letdown.

*One of them made a grown man cry.  And I'm not talking figuratively, here.

*We were tired.  And the Mayans were having some sort of temper tantrum over the world not ending so it was raining sideways by 10:00.

* I'm really only surprised we didn't lose more to the Weepies.

*My last "choice" session was so amazing that it made up for the tears, raindrops and mind-numbing keynotes.

*I can't really use this one with the kids.  It's too complicated.  But I don't care.

*I now have the most amazing thing ever in the history of stuff!

It's a bag crafted from recycled coffee bags and duct tape!!!!

*My apologies for the bad photo.  I had to do a quick and very last minute upload from my phone since I forgot to take a better one earlier.

*Totally couldn't wait to show you the awesomeness of my most couture of coffee bag bags!

*When I got home I added interior pockets.  Now it is more perfect!

*With workshops out of the way, holiday prep could begin in earnest.

*I baked cheesy bread.

*I baked challah.

*I made my first attempt at my Aunt Marge's cardamom braided Christmas bread.

*And I wrapped.

*And I wrapped.

*And I wrapped some more.

*Note to self:  Do not leave wrapping until Christmas Eve.

*Second note to self:  Do not leave notes to self that you have no intention of reading.  You do this every year and have learned nothing from your late-night paper wrangling.

*OK.  So perhaps I did set myself up a bit with the expectations.

*I think it might have been more of a procrastination issue, but still...

*There were a few moments of quiet desperation.

*Short-lived, thankfully!

*Breakfast at the Sheepish Parental Household was scheduled for 8:00 a.m.  Sharp.

*I was right on time.  8:30.

*That is within the acceptable parameters.

*My acceptable parameters.

*I had wrapped presents so no one commented.

*And, you know what?  Christmas came whether I was late or not and Santa left all my presents at Mommy and Daddy's house just like he always does.

*And we still had our annual Orange Juice With Pulp Or Without Pulp debate, right on schedule.  It all worked out.

*I was well-gifted.

*My parents were each short a gift, though.

*I ordered late and knew it might be tight.  I even accepted it when parcel tracking told me they wouldn't arrive until December 26th.

*My ordered items were at a facility 20 minutes from my home on Christmas Eve.

*Then they got the wanderlust.

*And went to a post office in Dover NH.

*Which is NOT 20 minutes from my home.

*The shipper optimistically predicted no change in the arrival date, though.

*As of this morning, my package was somewhere in New Jersey and I can't for the life of me figure out what I did to offend it enough that it would make the trek back to the mid-west.

*There is a major storm scheduled for tomorrow.  The shipper has put a disclaimer up in red lettering, although they don't seem to think it makes sense to change the arrival date of my package in any way.

*I like to think of this as a story I will tell later and find ever so entertaining.

*This is how I get by...

*Today, the after Christmas sales started.  I was excited because this year I was gifted with the means to participate in this time-honored tradition with wild abandon.

*Translation:  Mommy and Daddy Sheep tucked cash in various gifts under the tree and I have no plans whatsoever to be "sensible" with it.

*I knew which store I wanted to hit today because there was a great sale on and I also had a 20% off coupon.

*I was so excited that I could barely sleep.  So I went back to the website to peruse their goods a little longer.

*And discovered that they were opening at 5:00 this morning.

*I did not go to the store at 5:00 this morning.  That is just crazy.

*I went at 7:00 this morning.  Which is ever so much more sensible on a vacation day...

*The Early Bird sales were kind to me.  Very kind.

*Of course, I put a much bigger dent in the shopping budget than I planned so early in the game, but there is a storm coming so I was losing a day anyway.

*Justification.  That is also how I get by...

*Since I've been waiting for the next paycheck to pick up the new books I want to read, I've been accessing the digital download library as a stop gap measure.

*Figured I'd try The Furies Of Calderon series just for the heck of it.

*Started with Furies of Calderon (Codex Alera, Book 1).

*It is quite good, but I am not really a fan of epic fantasy.  I lean more towards the "urban" variety of the genre.

*Still, it is well-written and engaging and very different from Jim Butcher's other works.  

*It's tiding me over until I can get some of the titles I really want.

*It wasn't how I planned to get the reading in this vacation, but what can you do?

*If nothing else, this season should prove to us that plans are really only there to get in in the way of what's actually going to happen.


So here I am on a Wednesday, once again realizing that I forgot to eat dinner and wondering if I can get away with leftover Christmas cookies as a food group.  That's another plan that went awry.  I honestly thought I'd be a bit more on track with meal planning now that there's no work to get in the way.

Of course, I also thought I'd get the wrapping done before darkness fell on Christmas Eve, that my parents might get their gifts only a little bit after the actual holiday and that I'd be able to sleep late during vacation.

But the gifts were delivered in festive paper and all baked goods were appreciated.  I even had something for my parents, if not exactly everything.  I've got enough leftovers from Christmas dinner and a whole bunch of cool stuff to keep me happy and entertained while I ride out the storm.  It's all good.

It's vacation.  How can it NOT be????

SA

WNBP: Not Quite, But Close

It's not really the last day of school before the holiday break.  I mean, it was...except not.  The kids are done.  Ms. Sheep isn't.

Ms. Sheep has to return for two days of mostly mind-numbing workshops before the powers that be will allow her to finally collapse in a giant heap of sugar coma.  This, the aforementioned powers seem to think, will make me a better person and a more dedicated educator.

We'll see about that.  I like to think the powers know stuff I don't because the alternative is kind of disturbing.

Meanwhile, I'm going to take what I can get.  It's two days without kids and a slightly later start to the work day.  If I don't focus on all the stuff I need to get done before the holidays, perhaps I can stay on task until the end of teacher workshops.

Or at least remain upright and semi-conscious...

Here's your Weekly Wednesday Night Bullet Post:

*Jolly Boy's mother likes to bake.

*She particularly likes to bake for Christmas.

*She is also an involved mother who enjoys including all her children in the process.

*She is quite creative, too!

*Which is why Jolly Boy showed up yesterday with homemade fudge wreaths for his teachers.

She puts a can in the middle of the cake tin and pours the fudge around it.  Seriously brilliant...

*I was prepared to be depressed that Jolly Boy didn't bring his mother's amazing cherry cookies again this year.

*But I got over it.

*I mean...it's A WREATH MADE OF FREAKIN' FUDGE!!!!

*I was going to have just fudge for dinner last night but that seemed wrong.

*So I had some leftover Christmas cookies that didn't fit into the goodie trays I was making up for staff gifts and that seemed to round things out nicely.

*Or round me out nicely...

*The Christmas tree remains upright, against all odds.

*And by, "against all odds," I mean "in spite of feline interference."

*They chew on it and steal the ornaments.

No.  This isn't cute at all.

*Almost took my darned arm off when I tried to get it back.

*OK.  It was one of the Decoy Ornaments I use on the bottom of the tree to distract Da Boyz from their more fragile counterparts, but still.  It's the principle of the thing.

*He Who...PROJECTS came to school today fully prepared (and a little resigned) to class participation.

*Then he learned that today was a Fun Day for those students on his academic team who had finished all their work.

*At which point, he invented the I Don't Have Any Work Today song.

*Followed quickly by the I Won't Have Any Homework Either song.

*There was a little dance involved as well.

*All done to the tune of Jingle Bells.

*I'd give you the lyrics, but we were all laughing so hard I managed to miss most of them.

*For the record, recent media reports are misleading to the point of making me furious.

*Not all persons with Autism Spectrum Disorder are prone to violent outbursts.

*They are individuals with unique temperaments and life experiences just like everyone else currently wandering the planet. They should not be classified according to the actions of one disturbed person who happens to have a similar diagnosis.

*Sometimes folks with ASD are prone to bursting into spontaneous song.

*But that is only if they don't have homework for Christmas vacation so I don't think the general public has to worry about it too much.

*The powers that be allow us to sign up for a couple of wellness sessions during the teacher workshops and I signed up early this year so I had my choice.

*I decided to try my hand at paper bead making.  I didn't look too closely at the description.  I just thought that might be fun and certainly something I could later do with my class.

*Today, I went back to check on what I needed to bring for the session.  And I was giddy to see who was teaching it.

*THE CHEERFUL TEACHING ASSISTANT!!!

*I like The New Teaching Assistant, but I miss my CTA.

*And tomorrow I get to make paper beads with her.

*If I remember to bring some paper with me since that is a class requirement.

*Unlike HW....P, I have homework.

*It is still school time for Ms. Sheep.

*I finished reading The Business of Death: The Death Works Trilogy.

*Really a bargain for all three books and a unique read.

*I'm not sure how I feel about the ending of the third book, but I comfort myself with the knowledge that it simply cannot end there.

*I'll keep you posted.

*After checking the budget, I decided that I should go with library downloads until after the holidays.

*It took some searching, but I managed to find a good one that no one else had snapped up.

*Xombies.

*Because you really can't have enough versions of the coming apocalypse.

*And because blue zombies seem kind of festive...


I have checked the clock upon the wall and suddenly realized that I haven't eaten dinner yet.  And I promised myself I would start remembering dinner before 7:00 from now on and the fact that it is actually 7:07 isn't going to deter me.  I also need to get a handle on the fact that it is only "almost" vacation and that I need to get up for school (sort of) tomorrow.

It isn't quite time for the No Homework song, I guess.  Almost, though!

SA

WNBP: The Tree Should Have Been A Clue...

Well, I am the very picture of befuddlement!  I've been hearing rumors for a while now about the holidays.  People kept telling me that they drew nigh, but I somehow found that hard to believe.

"Why, I have weeks and weeks to go," I said in an annoyingly lofty tone.  "I refuse to be one of those people who start panicking at the first sign of tinsel or cry when silver bells toll!"

So now here I am.  The last Sheep standing.  At least the last one standing in the very-picked-over Christmas card aisle.  It is nothing if not humbling and somewhat panicking.

I'm going to take a quick minute to knock out a Wednesday Night Bullet Post but let's not get carried away.  It seems I have quite a bit to do and far less time that I originally thought.

*The last full week of school before the holiday break is...interesting.

*Half the kids don't even seem aware of the impending wave of holiday cheer.

*The other half were done several days ago and are only showing up to keep their parents from returning all their gifts.

*I have a very small class on the best of school years.  Sometimes I only have one or two kids working in the room at a time, particularly during study halls.

*Today, two girls from one of the 7th grade teams came around to ask if they could come in.

*They seemed like the purposeful type of 7th graders who were on a mission and I know better than to deny that particular animal.  I welcomed them in.

*"Hello," they intoned, reading from their prepared script.  "We would like to ask for a moment of your time so that we could speak with your...um...(after looking around somewhat helplessly)...student?

*I guess they were used to a bigger audience.  

*But they persevered and delivered their plea for donations to the local animal shelter with aplomb.

*Then they asked if anyone had any questions.

*Which was a mistake because the only ones in the room were me and He Who...PROJECTS.

*HW...P always has questions.  They might not always be relevant, but I can assure you he has questions.

*Lots of them.

*About the time he got to asking the poor girls if he could donate his Lincoln Logs to the cats and dogs, I decided I probably should intervene.

*It's too bad.  We don't really get all that much company.  I kind of thought we were heading for more sociable days...

*I am going to the pet store tomorrow and will purchase a suitable toy for the little doggies/kitties/other critters in order to spare them the large bag of leftover Legos and mismatched action figure torsos I suspect might be coming in later this week.

*It's all good. HW...PROJECTS is having a hard time with the whole "it's not vacation yet so please sit down and stop projecting your displeasure with the time/space continuum in the middle of math class" concept.

*I put up the Christmas Tree this weekend.  It's a coin flip every year.

*I don't really need a tree.  It's just a big thing taking up space in the living room and inciting the cats to new and exciting levels of poor behavior.

*But, I dunno.  I guess I just sort of like thinking I'm still a "tree person."

*Not putting up a tree kind of crosses the line between "active, involved individual" and "grumpy old person who throws shoes at people on her lawn."

*I realize that isn't true, but I can't help getting that shoe image in my head come December...

*Putting up a Christmas tree is usually a hint, the kind that urges people to recognize the dire situation the holidays present.

*It took me a while.  Longer than it should have, frankly.

*I finally got around to reading  Trapped (The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Five)

*And now I can't imagine why on earth I waited so darned long!

*What a great addition to the series!

*Then, with holiday shopping in mind, I went with a less expensive read.

*I found an omnibus edition of a series I'd been considering and shelled out the eight bucks for it.  

* The Business of Death: The Death Works Trilogy

*Less expensive, yes, but quite fun.  

*And a really interesting take on the concept of the psychopomp.

*I love the way some people in this novel are Pomps.  Who Pomp other people.

*Because saying, "pomp" is fun even if actually being pomped is kind of a downer.

*Cuz you're dead.  Well...most people who die get pomped.

*A few are unpompable.

*Like I said...interesting!

 *Having suddenly realized the 25th draws nigh, I spent some time reviewing the finances.  

*Then I spent some time reviewing the contents of my baking supply cupboard because homemade treats are probably my only hope for gifting a few of the people on the periphery of my shopping list.

*So I started baking Christmas cookies on Saturday.

*When you bake Christmas cookies, you say, "cookie" a lot.

*As in, "Who the heck stole all the vanilla I need for my cookies?"

*Or, "What's that I smell?  Is it my cookies burning????"

*And the ever popular, "I really should stop eating these cookies or I won't have any to give as gifts."

*That's fine.  Even if you live alone, you are aloud to vocalize and it's nice to stay on topic.

*Except that, in this house, the resident felines have come to know their nighttime treat as, "cookies."

*Which means that I pretty much upset the entire social order for two straight days and didn't figure it out until Sunday night.

*Every time I babbled on about my cookies, everyone got a really hopeful look in their eyes and started scampering around the kitchen.

*Every time I returned to the living room to watch TV and wait out the timer signaling the next batch, there was a general sense of betrayal.

*I'd feel bad except for the part where a certain Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty took it upon himself to relieve me of some raw cookie dough.  

*I think that evens the score.

*Should cats eat raw cookie dough?  I'm fairly certain they shouldn't but if I pushed the panic button every time the AGK decided to start sampling in the kitchen I wouldn't have time for anything else.

*And no.  I didn't bake up that batch.  

*And yes.  I did consider it.


And, speaking of cookies, I probably need to get back to the gingerbread I've planned to knock out tonight.  When you leave it all until the last minute, you kind of have to plow through the baking even if it is a school night and you really don't feel like doing anything except collapsing on the couch and trying to forget that you still have five more days with kids before they are Santa's problem.  Next year, I'm going to be more on top of things.

And I don't mean like how I said it last year and then forgot all about it.  For real this time.  I'm sure of it...

SA

WNBP: The Ultimate In Random

I'd rather hoped that I'd have something in the way of a theme for tonight's post by now.  Even when penning the Wednesday Night Bullet Post I like to have a at least a tenuous tether between one thought and the next.

Sadly, it is not to be.  Last night was another fun-filled round of Let's See How Long I Can Fight It Before The Insomnia Wins and I didn't fare well.  Better than most nights when the ol' eyeballs won't remain shut, but still not good.

Long story short...I couldn't string together a coherent bunch of thoughts if my life depended upon it.  I guess we'll just have to see where this leads.

*In case you were wondering, my hair is rather fantastic these days.

*I know this because a lot of people have told me so.

*I'm serious.  I really nailed the color this time.  Even several male teachers with whom I work have commented.  And I'm talking about the old and stuffy kind of teachers not the cool hipster types who wear slim cut jeans and wicked snazzy scarves.

*The kind secure enough in their gender to discuss hair color.

*I'd like to take a moment to enjoy this follicular triumph, but I can't.

*I seriously couldn't remember what color I used this time if someone put a gun to my perfectly highlighted tresses.  I just know it was on sale.

*Which is pretty much how I make all my color decisions...

*I have a vague memory of the picture on the box.  Maybe it will go on the sale rack again.

*Let's hope it wasn't the clearance rack.  Discontinued hair color could be a disaster here.

*I bought some wheat grass seeds for The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.

*I'm at the point where I'll do just about anything to stop this business with him dangling from the drapes whilst nibbling on the hanging pots of flora.

*Now I have to clean up little bits of grass and dirt from the floor and try to locate the little plastic planter that holds the grass.

*Because the AGK likes to drag it hither and yon as he yanks out the blades in clumps.

*Still preferable to a cat hanging from the drapes...

*Greatest words spoken unto me this week courtesy of The New And Amazingly Efficient Teaching Assistant.

"You know, I learn something new and weird about you every, single day."

*I think that was when I was telling her about how I can't remember to eat or go to bed without television to prompt me.

*Three days without cable sort of left me all turned around...

*On the other hand, I got a stupid amount of stuff done around here without TV to distract me.

*The cable company and I reached an agreement on Friday morning, thus ending our standoff.

*It went something like this:

*I agreed to pay them all the money they wanted plus a five dollar fee to push the "restore" button.

*They, in turn, consented to make the big glass rectangle glow again.

*I think it all worked out.  Don't you?

*It was the weekend.  They had me right where they wanted me.  I am never going to be the leader of any great social movement.

*But for those three days without cable to guide my waking and sleeping life, I was like Norma Rae over here!

*I have developed a sudden and overwhelming urge to make cranberry chutney.

*I have never made cranberry chutney in my life.

*I have never eaten cranberry chutney.

*I'm not saying it's a rational urge.

*We had a staff meeting after school today.  I was tired from all the not sleeping and then teaching of the children.

*A major point of discussion was the rescheduling of various duties.

*Mostly lunch duty and recess duty.

*If you say, "duty" enough times, it sounds like, "doody."

*And if you are very, very tired, it starts sounding like doody a lot sooner.

*We discussed what would happen if you haven't had a doody for the past three months.

*Or if you've had ongoing doodies for the past three months.

*We are, apparently, not allowed to trade doodies.

*Overall, we are being urged to be much more conscientious about our doodies.

*Did I mention I was tired?  It is not my fault that these things are funny enough to double me over mid-meeting even if no one else understands quite why.

*As I type this, I am coming to realize that the word, "duty" isn't really all that funny and that I might lack the maturity necessary to educate young people.

*I finally got around to reading Devil Said Bang: A Sandman Slim Novel.

*Fair Warning:  The ol' Sandman isn't exactly a good guy.  In fact, reading the series is really pretty dependent upon your ability to see concepts like "good" and "evil with a little flexibility.

*If you can do that, he's a pretty darned likable fellow.

*I burned through it fairly quickly.  I'd missed my favorite anti-hero of the underworld.

*Then I figured I'd better take a walk on the more angelic side so I downloaded a copy of Where Angels Fear to Tread: A Remy Chandler Novel.

*Remy is a good guy.  Mostly.  Not so much when he goes full-on warrior angel but you kind of have to forgive him that.

*If you will recall, Heaven got a little dicey for a while there what with all the Lucifer-instigated rebellion going on.

*Angels had to hang up their harps for a bit during the whole hullabaloo so you will have to forgive a certain amount of post traumatic stress disorder.

*I like these books.  But I can't help but think they should have been written in the first person rather than the third.

*Or maybe I've just read too many first person perspective novels lately...

*Still just seems kind of "off" for this book.

*Not enough to make it worth putting it down, though!

*And in Audiobooks For Commuters News?

*We're killing the morning drive time with Bone Crossed (Mercy Thompson, Book 4).

*Just good fun and the miles whiz by like inches!

*It even keeps me awake which is good after a night of insomnia...


OK.  That does it for tonight.  I need to go dry my hair before bed lest it be less than magnificent come the morn.  I don't know how much longer I can ride out this good color thing and I'd hate to waste a minute of it.

Hey!  I made a connection there!  Beginning and ending with my hair.  That's awesome!  Maybe I'm not so loopy with the tiredness as I thought!

Or maybe I'm just so tired that even the nonsensical seems somehow highly logical...

SA