Lights...Camera...ACHOO!!!

I have not seen Contagion.  I hadn't planned on it, frankly.  Even if I did, I doubt I'd make it as far as the concession stand, much less the ticket booth.  Every time I mention it, people I didn't think were paying much attention will suddenly focus upon me intently.  Some will gently explain to me why this is not a very good idea given my tendency to overreact to things like world-wide plagues.  Others will yell at me because they think that anything spoken loudly enough will be taken seriously.  They know this because they have heard me yelling about plagues off and on over the years.

There is a third group who will whip out their car keys and jingle them at me in order that the shiny/sparkly might divert my attention long enough for someone to block the doors.  That only works about a quarter of the time, but bless their little hearts for trying...

They are all wasting their time.  Like I said, I wasn't planning on going.  I know it's a bad idea and that I'll probably be barricaded in my house for six months, existing only on the Junior Mints and stale popcorn I brought home from the theater.  Besides, I don't really need to go.  I can probably come up with a similar plot line if I try hard enough.

Since I can't really think in terms of "sweeping epic" and "world-wide stage," I'd probably just do the whole thing on a smaller scale.  Say, for example, a school.  That is familiar to me what with being a teacher since before the beginning of time and all.  Schools are pretty good microcosms, I think.

I'm guessing that my mini version would have everything going smoothly at first.  The viewers would be lulled into a false sense of security.  There would be rampant reading in the library and all sorts of mathing down in algebra class.  The cafeteria would be running at peak efficiency since it's the beginning of the year and the kids haven't stuffed leftover pickles into all the vents yet.  Life would be good.

When the first sniffles start, no one would really react much.  Fall is, after all, allergy season for some. In fact, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to see several kids sneezing.  For all the reassuring sense of normalcy, the audience probably won't be able to resist that little shudder of impending doom.  Things are about to go badly for our little school-based mini-movie world residents.

Everyone on screen will still be happily ensconced in denial, though.  Everyone, that is, except for one astute observer.  There is always one astute observer in these films.  It's usually The Discredited Scientist In The Basement Lab.  This is the one who will see The Pattern Emerging.  That, as we all know is key to the plot development.  We need to have someone who can do that in our mini-movie.

 Let's see...who could it be?  I know!  How about that quirky teacher they put in the out of the way classroom and sometimes forget about because she and her students aren't exactly like all the others who go to this school.  She sounds like the type to start babbling about plagues once the sniffles start.

And, much like The Discredited Scientist frantically making calls from down in the basement, she will be ignored.

Before you know it, the plague will have descended upon our little school.  The student absence list will be miles long and kids will be sent home.  Teachers will be calling out sick in spite of it being only the third week of classes but there is really nothing else to be done for it.  Had they listened to the quirky teacher up in the ignored classroom, things might have been different.  But they didn't and now they have naught but their own selves to blame!

(This isn't really true...no one can stop the plague, but the quirky teacher doesn't have much to cling to so let's just let her have this one, 'kay?)

Now, here's the good part.  You'll love this!  You know how movies sometimes have a twist at the end? It's all going along one way and then it suddenly surprises you?  Well, how about if our little drama doesn't follow the predicted story arc?  Usually the Discredited Scientist gets to avoid the plague because he is so much smarter than everyone else and remembered to wear his gas mask while everyone else romped playfully about in the rain of bacteria.

Well, it's not going that way in OUR movie!  Not at all.  In our version, the quirky teacher doesn't avoid the plague.  She might think she did.  She might have even thrown out an "I told you so" or two over the course of the Plague Week.  But she will, in fact, be as infected as everyone else.  She will wake up on Saturday morning sicker than anyone else (at least by her own estimation) and spend her entire weekend snuffling, snorting and shoving tissues up her nose fetchingly.  By Monday, she will be feeling a little bit better and won't even have a day off to show for her suffering.  She will have to drag her sore throat and red nose off to the House Of Book Learning And Infection so she can be sickly with everyone else.

I know it's not exactly the same as the big screen version of Contagion.  It's probably not even close.  But I like to think I got one or two points right.  And if I didn't, they'll have to stand for now.

It's time for my next dose of decongestant...

SA

WNBP: Settling In

We are finding our rhythm here at the Sheepish House Of Wayward Felines And Public Education.  That's not to say that I didn't think it was Saturday when I woke up on Tuesday, but I think we will eventually get past those morning mishaps.  At least I hope I do.  It is a bitter thing indeed to face the reality of a workday at quarter to five when a part of you thinks it is the weekend.

Let's take a look at this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post and marvel at my new found school year scheduling skills:

*No.  Seriously.  Hearing that alarm go off in the darkness of the early morning hours is painful enough without that two seconds of thinking it can be ignored.


*I don't recommend it.  Not at all...


*I have managed to get myself to school on time every single day so far.


*I suggested that this might be enough to earn a day off, but they said they'd have to get back to me.


*The Latest Interaction With My Betters That Really Should Have Resulted In My Firing:

(ring-ring!!)

Ms. Sheep:  (stomping to the phone and muttering) Oh, for crying out loud!  What now?  (she checks the caller i.d. and picks up the phone as it is not someone she can ignore)  Yes, O Fearless Leader?  Do you have something good to tell me?  I would like for someone to tell me something good today.

Mr. Assistant Principal:  Hello Ms. Sheep.   Is Mr. Newest Teaching Assistant there by any chance?

MS:  Not at the moment.  He is in class with a student.  Is this about me?  Is it good?  You haven't mentioned the part involving me and good things yet.

MAP:  It isn't good.  Nor is it really bad.  I just need to talk to Mr. NTA about a scheduling thing is all.  For you, I guess it's...nothing.

MS:  If it isn't about me, I am not interested.  I am hanging up now.  You can talk to your new best friend Mr. NTA.  For future reference, make a note:  Good.  And about me.  Otherwise, not interested.

MAP:  (chuckling)  Duly noted.


*Hand to God, I cannot get these people to take my firing seriously!  What the heck does a girl have to do?  Set fire to her hair????


*Best Joke I've Heard In Forever Courtesy of Li'l Einstein (who is crazy smart and really doesn't seem like the humorous type...):

A guy walks into a bar.  And says, "ouch."

*Sit with it for a minute.


*You'll get there.


*It's even funnier if you are trying desperately to get some work done and are only half-paying attention and Li'l Einstein knows it.


*I told it to the CTA at the end of the day and it killed!!!


*Best Line Of The Week courtesy of The Siren (she who is going to lead the male members of the class into serious trouble and they will smile with each step they take towards their doom):

I love it when you just sit there blinking really fast at us.  It's like you're trying to say, "Oh my God I cannot believe this is my life."  It's really funny how you do that!

*Yeah.  It's a riot.  And it's not blinking.  It's probably a seizure of some sort brought on by witnessing three kids argue for fourteen minutes straight over a pen cap.


*Did I mention the kid who showed up on the third day of school with two full-sized bowling balls in his bag?


*I can't recall.  I probably didn't tell you about that.  I haven't come up with a blog name for him yet because everything I think of has the word "balls" in it and I can't make it come across right.


*I signed up for Amazon Associates so I could use the convenient widget.


*Great way to quickly link to books I'm reading.


*Some people, however, are actually doing to generate income and I would imagine they are freaking out a bit over the lack of widget workability these days.


*For me, it just means it is going to be very time consuming to recommend books to you.


*I am still going to try, though!


*Anything for you, Dear Readers!!!


*I finished Madhouse.


*And I very quickly purchased Deathwish.


*This is teen angst at its most poignant and powerful.


*I normally get a little irritated by teen angst, but I think that Cal has a right to be snarky.


*My only complaint is that, in the current installment, the author is really switching up the character perspective.


*I like the grumpy teen.  Keep the spotlight on the grumpy teen.


*And I don't say that very often given my line of work!!


*Still like the books even if there's less with the grump.


*You cannot even begin to imagine the stress involved in getting those two links in place.  


*Blogger...please get over your issues with Amazon.  


*It's not for me.  It's for the grumpy teen whose plight I wish to make known to the world.


*Plus I don't really have time for this now that I am back to work and trying to get to school on time.


*Right now I should be finding clean clothes to wear tomorrow.  


*And shoes.  I need shoes to accommodate my feet which are swelling up like melons in response to standing all day and blinking a lot.


*That isn't exactly something I planned for and hardly in keeping with my schedule.


*Frankly, I think that there are many forces out there working against my staying on schedule this year.


*But I can't seem to get fired so it will have to work out and settle down soon.


So Wednesday happened and then it was over and now I'm just cruising my way through the new prime time television schedule.  Fall does have it's benefits.  I get some new jokes and a super new TV schedule to work with.  Plus I get to practice blinking.

Yes.  We are truly settling in.

SA

Toasting The New Year

I don't normally spend a lot of time discussing my dislike for my job.  It's not the sort of thing a perky, happy gal such as myself dwells upon.  It also often leads to genuinely helpful people suggesting things that I might do to resolve the situation, all of which are kind of obvious and most of which I have tried to no avail.

No, it is not in keeping with my happy, perky reputation to snap at genuinely helpful people.  Saying things like, "Gosh, I never thought of that!  Wherever would I be without your insight into this matter?  Why, I could've solved this problem years ago had I simply thought to ask for your sage words of wisdom!" is enough to get you kicked out of the Happy Perky Club.

And they have a heck of a convention for members in good standing so I just avoid the topic whenever I can.   And, all kidding aside, people really are just trying to be helpful.  I know that and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Hence, I have accepted the fact that for now (and the foreseeable future) I will get up every morning and drive to a job that I spent a lot of grad school time and money to not have to do anymore.  There are a couple of ways a person might handle this situation.  The first involves raising one's fists to the heavens and ranting loudly at an unjust universe.

Now, I like a good rant as much as the next person.  In fact, I think I've raised the whole thing to a genuine art form.  But a true rant is actually kind of hard to maintain for any real length of time.  Furthermore, no one wants to sit next to you at the movies because ranting is noisy and all that shaking of fists causes the popcorn to fly everywhere.

I prefer the second path, the one where I remember that life is short and how important it is to find the happy.  It is up to me to figure out how to get some joy out of my daily life.  Rants may sneak in every now and again, but they don't have to define me.  I look for what works in my current job and celebrate that.

And if that doesn't keep me in the Happy Perky Club, I don't know what will.

That said,  I reserve the right to not like the Back To School advertising which marks the end of summer vacation.  In fact, I mourn just a little bit when I see those ads.  It takes a while for the Happy/Perky to kick in, I guess.

This year, however, might just represent a marked departure from the norm.  Yes, I avoided the Back To School sales just like I do every year.  But I am a bargain shopper and I could hardly avoid the 50% Off School Stuff No One Got Around To Buying table at the grocery store on Saturday.  As the owner of a rapidly dying toaster oven, I was even less able to ignore the sight of box containing that exact same appliance huddled on the back of the shelf.  Frankly, I think it is my right to not suffer with half-browned English muffins each morning as I start my teaching day.  I deserve a well-toasted breakfast, by God!!!

I am not even going to question why my local grocery store had a lone toaster oven.  They don't normally carry that sort of thing.  I don't know why they suddenly decided to adopt a single appliance or what prompted the college student for whom it was surely meant to cast it aside.  I only know this:  It was there, it was half price and it was going in my cart.

Maybe it is sad to not be living the happy-go-lucky dorm life, but it will get over it.  Life with Sheepie can be fun, too.

Yup.  It's Back To School Time and I didn't even have to work all that hard to find the Happy/Perky.  Who knows, next year I might even run across something even better in the half-priced pile!  It could be the trend that sees me through to retirement...

SA

Surprise Bullets!!!

I suppose that being surprised by bullets is kind of a bad thing, but I think you know what I meant.  I missed the Wednesday Night Bullet Post due to a fit of Oh-My-God-I-Cannot-Even-Function-At-This-Point.  When one is struck by the OMGICEFATP, there isn't much else to be done.  I think you will understand once you get a sense of the situation.

Let's take advantage of some complimentary Thursday Night Bullet Points and explore how it all went down...


*Last night was Open House at my school.


*Long time readers will know that I don't bother driving all the way home and back again.  I just hang out, get some work done and wait for the end.


*I don't get many visitors.


*Yesterday's work day ran from 6:45 am to 7:05 pm.  Not counting the commute.


*Which is long, but I have wi-fi and could have posted at some point.


*But I didn't because I kind of got behind. I had a lot to do and time got away from me. Before I knew it, parents were filtering in and I had to look professional and caring even if no one ever actually saw it.


*But that wasn't the worst of it.


*It was really hot yesterday and my room was stifling.


*Sheepie lacks anything remotely resembling Self-Regulating Internal Temperature Control these days.


*Hot classroom=rising internal temps and rampant perspiration.


*No control.  None.  Even when I explain to my brain that it can't do this on Open House Night because I don't have a change of clothes or the strength to look like a nurturing professional whilst melting, there is nothing that will stop it.


*Force of freakin' nature!


*All one can do in this situation is stagger down to the classroom of a female colleague and gasp out the basics of the story.


*She will then race to the windows, fling them open and start directing fans.  A little distracting conversation, a few sympathetic murmurs and the worst will pass.


*If you don't happen to have a middle aged colleague capable of understanding the horrors involved in the Beautiful Circle Of Life, then I feel sorry for you.  You are on your own with no one to locate ice chips.


*I had one parent visit me around 6:30 and that was all.


* Which was good because I was a little bedraggled by then.


*I was trying to describe my Horrific Crazy Humidity Hair situation to Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk when Mr. Principal walked by.


*He only saw my wild gesticulations and offered assistance with whatever might be plaguing me.


*I didn't think he could really do much with my rapidly corkscrewing locks, so I thanked him kindly and declined.


*He was not the one to whom I turned when the hot flashes hit either.


*He likes to be helpful and supportive, but I'm thinking that might put him off his feed for a week or so...


*My class is very needy this year.


*I don't have any prep time during the day.


*I also need to watch them almost constantly in order that they don't set things alight, doodle on the walls or procreate in the closets.


*So...to recap.


*I worked a twelve hour day with needy children, didn't finish all my paperwork, required assistance to survive my middle aged bodily breakdown and had really, really bad hair going on.


*I came home and took a bath.  Then I went to bed.


*Frankly, we all benefited from that decision.


*Today, I feel really good and I'm hardly melting at all!


*The Very Complicated Kitty took his pill this morning.


*This is a good thing because I was beginning to despair.  I've been getting up fifteen minutes earlier just to deal with his poor behavioral choices.


*I think he has accepted that mornings are no longer the leisurely things we enjoyed during the summer months.


*Speaking of cats, I think I need to clean the carpets again.


*Just noticed the horror that is my floor space.


*Might need to put that on the weekend To-Do list.


*I picked up a copy of Autumn a week or so ago.


*It wasn't bad and something one should read if one is trying to stay current with the walking dead genre.


*It just wasn't my favorite, was all.


*And then to discover that I already had it as an audio book added insult to injury.


*Hate buying what I already own!!!


*Less of the distress with Nightlife, though.


*Here's a story that will put any parental issues one might have into perspective!


*It's hard to stay mad at a mom who wouldn't let you wear a backless dress to prom when compared to poor Cal's family memories...


*That said, there is a little issue when the author changes character perspective halfway through the novel.


*Normally, I like the switch-up and he didn't really have much choice under the circumstances, but I started to get a little stressed after a fashion.  


*Strong characters and a unique story line here.  


*And it's a series so this will keep me occupied while I wait for a few new releases.


*I keep track of what's coming out and when with a computer generated sticky note.


*I like sticky notes.  The ones on the computer are not the same, but they don't fall off the edge of the coffee table like the "real" ones I use to remind myself of very important stuff.


*Cats are often sporting a few sticky notes as they gambol about the manse.





*Stress makes me a little red in the face.


*Which causes heat.


*And then...SURPRISE!!!





I hope that these Thursday Bullet Points will help to make up for my utter lack of posting ability on Wednesday.  Sometimes it just isn't meant to be and one has to go along with what the universe is suggesting.  I think there is a bright side, though.  Now I'm all convinced it's Wednesday and that will make tomorrow seem like Thursday and it won't be!  It will be Friday!

And that is a very nice sort of surprise.

SA

Gotta Love A Good Portent

It's been a while since I've done a Portent Post.  The good old fashioned Oh My Goodness There Are Signs All About Us If We'd Only Take Heed kind of thing...  I think I should do another one.  There have been one or two little nudges in that direction if today is any indication.  I think it is time to start obeying the universe now.  And so, without further ado, I give you:

Sheepish Annie's List Of The Most Important Portents.  (subject to change as circumstances dictate because, let's face it, the universe is a bit on the capricious side these days)


Portent #1:  When you wake up at 4:45 on a Tuesday morning and are confronted with a brown, dotted line winding its way from your bedroom door and all about the manse, you can be assured this is not a good start to the day.  Furthermore, it should be noted that just because something strongly resembles the dotted line on a treasure map doesn't mean you are going to find something of great value at the other end.

Good thing he's cute.  Because he is not what I found at the other end, but there was a definite and recent connection.

Portent #2:  When the start of school suddenly triggers a medication battle on the home front, you are just being naive if you think it isn't going to affect things elsewhere.  It doesn't matter that you fully comprehend the difference between your cats and your students, you are bound to slip at some point.  You are going to be very tired from arguing with an Very Complicated Kitty over the need to take his morning happy pill and you'll probably miss the signs of impending disaster.

That is exactly when a student in your class will refuse to take his medication and instead of telling him you are going to call the "nurse," you will threaten him with the "vet."

No.  I am not kidding.  And yes.  That little Freudian Feline Slip is quite enough to cause an entire classroom to stop functioning and engage in open-mouthed goggling for a full minute.


Portent #3:  I think we all know this, but just to be on the safe side I'll run it by you again.  When you walk into a room full of 7th graders and they all suddenly stop talking in order that they might begin industriously working on their assignments, there is nothing good going on.

Silent and industrious 7th graders are a sign of the apocalypse.  Or worse, by classroom standards.  Take heed and start counting the scissors.


Portent # 4:  Anyone who says they are getting their fall clothes out in September is just asking for trouble.  The minute those words are spoken aloud, the universe will start to churn and gurgle alarmingly.  Then it will suddenly get hot and humid and Ms. Sheep (who may or may not have been the one to voice the stupid thought) will be stuck in a room full of very stinky middle schoolers.

Never talk wardrobe in front of the universe.  Ever.  Or at least remember to check the weather before choosing your outfit.


Portent #5:  There is nothing that bodes disaster like welcoming the Cheerful Teaching Assistant back with cheers and happy little hand waves as she returns from her recent absence.  It sounds like a nice thing to do since she was very sick for a while there and deserves a happy little hand wave.  I miss the CTA when she can't come to school.  I miss her level head in a crisis and her ability to take children away from me when I start to look a little homicidal around lunchtime.

But that kind of welcome is a portent.  It doesn't seem like it, but it really is.  It is an instant one, too.  You won't even have a half a hand flap worked up before her backpack will catch on the mini blinds and she will be stuck at the window for ten minutes while we figure out a way to extricate her and still save the blinds from being dragged to the floor.

I wouldn't care about the blinds so much but she was going to have to go home sometime and I wasn't sure they'd fit in her car.

Language Arts class sort of didn't go as planned today.  I had to pull together a meeting of the minds since I couldn't get the poor girl loose by myself.  Class was cancelled while we all grappled with the dilemma.  The CTA was almost able to look everyone in the eye by dismissal time...

Portent # 6:  If, by now, you haven't realized that things are rapidly devolving, then there is really very little help for you.  It is highly likely that you are going to walk up to the literacy specialist and make a joke about her not testing the 6th graders like she was supposed to today.  You won't mean anything by it but I promise you that there will be ten witnesses there to hear her announce that she is pregnant and miserable and that this is why she failed to follow through with the testing schedule.  She will find the whole thing kind of funny because she is that kind of person, but you will still look like a jerk in front of all the people who fail to understand the sense of humor you share with the poor pregnant literacy specialist.

And you deserve it because it is 3:30 and you've been getting signs all day but failed to heed them.  I mean, seriously!  You got an email from the tech person that was in all caps and began with the words, "THE SERVER IS DYING!!  SAVE YOURSELF AND YOUR DATA NOW FOR THE END IS NIGH!!!"  If you didn't get the message about this day even after that happened, there is nothing to be done for you.

This is your just desserts, I fear.



Yes...portents.  You gotta watch 'em.  If you don't, you will have a series of events on a Tuesday that defy logic not to mention one's ability to seriously educated the future keepers of this great nation.  And if you fail to see the pattern by 3:30 then you aren't alone.  You have Sheepie to keep you company.

Half the decorative tins stored on the Very High Shelves In The Kitchen somehow found their way onto the floor during the day today...

SA

WNBP: A Tired Sort Of Mish-Mash

When I think back to my earlier blogging efforts and how I managed to somehow come up with a post every day, I marvel at my fortitude.  Now that I've scaled back on the internet investment, you'd think I'd have more energy for the whole thing.  I get rest in between posts, for heaven's sake!

Tonight, I am tired.  Sure, it probably has something to do with the fact that today was the second day of school and that I am finally starting to understand that this is for real.  However, I still feel like kind of a wimp as I face the blank blogging screen.

One can only imagine how I am going to ramble on and on...and on.  Good thing it's the Wednesday Night Bullet Post where continuity doesn't really matter all that much!

*I probably already mentioned that today was the second day of school but I think that fact bears repeating.


*Yesterday, I revealed my reasons for believing that the first day of school never really lives up to the hype.


*Today, I shall tell you that the second day generally goes rather predictably.  We are tired and it is less acceptable to go outside for half the day to play trust-building games.


*Plus it was raining so we couldn't go outside anyway.


*And everyone has to use the bathroom more frequently.


*Best Student Line Of The Week (thus far anyway) comes to us courtesy of The Future Farmer:  


I brought cake.  My dad says to tell you that it has three eggs in it.


*I do not know why those three eggs were so noteworthy, but I can tell you they make for a darned find cake.


*Second best line of the week.  In an amazing twist of irony, it also is credited to TFF:


"It is a chocolate cake with rainbow sprinkles."


*That boy is someday going to make a lucky lady very happy.  He can rebuild a car, tell a joke with the best of 'em and now....he BAKES!!!


*He also brought instant coffee packs for the teachers because he thought we looked like we needed it.


*His future wife should call and thank me for the training I have provided.


*I met briefly with my director today.  It went like this:


Ms. Sheep:  You know all those emails I sent you about stuff that I knew nothing about and was mad because no one told me?

Ms. Person Who Is So Totally The Boss Of Me:  Yes.  Vividly.

MS:  Well, you can just disregard that.  I went back over the old emails from last spring and it turns out I knew all about it.  I even had some rather insightful things to say about it all at the time.

MPWISTTBOM:  Consider it disregarded.  Oh, and by the way...you know that problem we were discussing that I had no memory of dealing with last June?  Well, judging from my notes, I did deal with it and I guess I gave several official decisions to quite a few people.  No idea what those were though...

MS:  I used to be really smart, you know.  Not a genius or anything, mind you.  But I was smart.  People used to talk all the time about my razor sharp wit.

MPWISTTBOM:  Me too.  Mind like a steel trap...that's what I had.  I was the envy of all the other directors.

MS:  I asked my doctor about it.  She says there is nothing to be done.

MPWISTTBOM:  Mine too.  Is it hot in here?  I suddenly feel like I'm melting.

MS:  No.  Ask me again in an hour, though.



*I found my camera cord.


*Which, if you consider the Middle Age Crisis And Random Hot Flashes situation going on here, is kind of amazing.


*Now I can show you pictures of the wicked cool collapsible ten liter water jugs I picked up a couple of years ago for five bucks on clearance.


*Busted these bad boys out during Tropical Storm Irene!

Glad it wasn't a hurricane when it got here, but was kind of sad that my Clearance Crisis Water didn't get a chance to save my life...

*I was going to show a picture of how I heated up coffee with just a can of Sterno and the will to caffeinate myself but it kind of revealed how dirty my stove top is so I opted out of that one.


*The reading pace has, as predicted, slowed markedly.  Still have a few things to tell you about, though!


*I'm carrying on with the Connor Grey series.


*I can't recall if I told you about Unquiet Dreams (Connor Grey, Book 2).


*Too lazy to look back to last week's post so I'll just mention it again.


*Told you I was tired.  I did not lie about that...


*Then I read Unfallen Dead (Connor Grey, Book 3).


*Again, might have already mentioned it.


*Next up: Unperfect Souls (Connor Grey, Book 4)


*I am now rounding out the whole experience with Uncertain Allies (Connor Grey, Book 5).


*Should have it finished tonight.


*Assuming I remember to charge the ereader...


*I'm not sure where I'm heading next on the reading road, but I have a few ideas.  I'll get back to you once I decide.


*Too tired right now to really put the thought into it that I should.


*Oh!  I just remembered!  I wanted to tell you about Shadowmagic.  I had a chance to listen to the audio version a while back as an unpublished freebie but wasn't sure if it would ever see print.


*Which was kind of tragic to me because it is excellent!


*Print version available and yay for John Lenahan!!!


*I'm kind of impressed that I remembered that what with the tiredness and crazy old lady moments I seem to be having.


*I really should go.  I need to check my notes for the day and figure out what I promised people I would do even though I have no memory of even talking to them.


*Hopefully they are as tired as I and don't recall either.


Yeah...wrapping this up seems like the best possible option right now.  I have no idea what I'm wearing tomorrow and I can only imagine how showing up in my jammies will go over with my colleagues.  They might consider it par for the course after my recent bout of the stoopidz, but I don't think I want to chance it.

I'm also thinking that tonight will involve an early bedtime.  That seems like a good plan...

SA

Over...So Over!

I've been doing this since before forever and have had ample time to think about the situation.  Let me assure you that I am not speaking rashly or tossing about opinions all willy-nilly.  I have given the matter deep and serious consideration.  I have, in fact, pondered.  That is some serious stuff, pondering.  You have to listen when someone ponders before opining.  It is even fair to say that I cogitated, but it was mostly pondering.  After all that mental exercise, I have come to the following conclusion:

The first day of school is overrated.  Seriously.

I have many reasons for stating this, more than any one blog can contain.  However, I will share a few of them just to give you the general idea.


1.  Everyone is all giddy about their new school clothes up until the point where we realize that we are totally overdressed.  It is still roughly a billion degrees outside and we are all stuck in a classroom with kids in new fleece hoodies and gigantic sneakers.

Furthermore, the fashion show doesn't last nearly long enough.  We've seen and assessed all the new outfits by 10:00 and then what is there to do?  Take bets on who has the biggest pit stains after a day of posing in the new duds while the still-summery sun blazes through the windows?


2.  The first day of school never lives up to the commercial hype.  After two months of seeing all those peppy, happy kids bouncing onto shiny buses in order that they might experience The Best Day Ever And One Where Everyone Will Probably Burst Into Song, even I get sucked in.

The first day of school is nothing like in the commercials.  Never.  Schedules are screwed up. A mile long line snakes out of the office because no one knows which bus they are supposed to take home and the secretaries start whimpering before the end of the first period. There aren't enough math books and half the kids were so focused on practicing for that first sing-along that they neglected to bring a pencil.

Kids start to get surly once they realize it isn't like what they were promised by the media.  They aren't suddenly popular and magically gifted with the ability to do calculus.  Worse, they can't even sing!  They are just a bunch of non-musical kids who look like taller versions of the ones in the mirror last year and wearing sweaty, soggy new hoodies.

They soon begin to turn on us and understandably so.  This brings me to my next point, one more from the teacher's perspective.


3. There are both teachers and kids in a school.  The kids outnumber the teachers greatly.  When they decide that things have gone far enough, they have the numbers to back up their opinion.  For example, when Ms. Sheep says it is time for everyone to sit down so she can can read with them they can giggle and throw things at each other for thirty minutes straight because they know that the line of confused bus-riders in the office means that there is no room for miscreants.  The fact they have lost their afternoon free time will register later but this isn't going to help matters during the reading time.

Kids can really suck the fun out of the first day of school if they put their minds to it.  Not always...but sometimes.  And their hoodies smell kind of funky, too.

4.  And then there is the reaction from the home front.  Sure, it's the teaching gig that keeps everyone in crunchy kibble and pays for visits to the Cat Whisperer.  However, much like students who can't think beyond the need to avoid reading at the expense of free time, the kitties do not like it when Mama tells them it is time to go back to work.  They like Mama at home so where she can give belly rubs, open cans and be available when they need to tell her something very, very important.

There is drama involved.  Doors are blocked and medicine spat out in an effort to keep Mama where she belongs.  It is sometimes enough to make Ms. Sheep late on a day when she really, really needs to be at school early.

Alas!  Alack!  And a-woe is me!!

Sometimes, in addition to "overrated," we also have "over-acted" and "overly dramatic."

SA

Here We Go!

I am fairly good with denial, especially when the end of August rolls around.  I can easily convince myself that everything is fine and that we are really still enjoying the fruits of July right up to the very last second.  This changes nothing, of course.  It is the end of August and that can only mean one thing:  School is ready to start.  Summer vacation is over.

Let's take a look at my last official day of not-working in the Wednesday Night Bullet Point Format and see how it went:

*I got up early because I wanted to make sure I didn't miss a minute of the resting and relaxing.


*And all the stuff I need to get done before going back to the grueling grind of the work-a-day life.


*This week's grueling grind will consist of one day attending Teacher Workshops followed by a four day weekend.  


*It's not the actual grinding part.  It's the principle of the thing.  It's a place I have to be and not one I chose.


*The state of Maine requires that we register our vehicles every year and pay our excise taxes like good citizens.


*I never remember to do this online, but that is OK.  Town Hall is literally ten minutes away.


*I got there a little after 8:00 and was out the door within minutes.  Not such a big deal except for the part where you have to pay them lots of money.


*This year I put the stickers on right there in the parking lot instead of waiting to get home.


*I thought it might be nice to avoid attracting the attention of law enforcement, getting pulled over, having my car towed away, being charged with a class E misdemeanor then spending the next 8 months fighting an epic battle with the state over an old (paid) traffic ticket and a clerical error at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles.


*I tried it that way last year and found it less than enjoyable.  Also kind of stressful and expensive.  


*Fighting the good fight and clearing your name sounds like a grand old time, but it really only works like that in the movies...


*I won't rest easy until I awaken tomorrow to a new day, but I think it is safe to tentatively state that I have avoided taunting Johnny Law today.


*My driving record is clean.  Spotless, in fact.  Even that old ticket is gone.  


*Which doesn't necessarily mean anything I've learned...


*I finally bought eggs today.


*I have been putting off buying eggs because that is what I do when I need to make sure I have something to scramble and put between bagels slices.  


*Commuter breakfast.  


*I don't need a commuter breakfast in July.  


*It is not really July.  It is August 31st.  I need eggs now.


*Forgot to buy bagels.  


*More from Friday's appointment at the vet:  The Very Complicated Kitty is fat.  He was losing weight and then I changed his snack food and he started stealing his brother's food because he really liked the snacks.


*He's gained back all his girth.  He's a mutant beast who startled the vet tech when he jumped off the table with a big KA-THUMP!


*The vet tech laughed and cried, "KA-THUMP!!!"  Silly vet tech.


*Back to the other snack food.  


*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty will be getting his claws cut in spite of the meltdown he had over this procedure.


*He needs to have his grungy teeth cleaned.


*They administer the dopey juice for that.


*Even if they didn't they would for him because he is not a fan of having his teeth cleaned.


*I'm told that they will complete the aborted claw clipping operation while he is grooving to the imaginary tunes playing in his drug addled head after dental work.


*I don't see how that could possibly go wrong.


*Regarding the missing cable for the camera:  It is still unaccounted for.


*Made the last Farmer's Market trip today.


*I shall miss my weekly Visit With The Vegetables.  


*I could still go on Saturday, but it's just not the same as going on a Wednesday.  


*It is fun to go during the work hours.


*Next Wednesday I will be working during the work hours.  


*The vet's office only does dental work on Wednesdays.  


*Might need to take a day off for that...


*Meanwhile, I have some fresh tomatoes and basil.


*Lots of basil because it keeps really well in a jar of fresh water on the counter.


*Seriously.  Like...weeks!  I can't grow the stuff in a pot, but it will live forever in a little jar of water.


*Smells so nice!


*Reading pace is soon to be slowing.  I've read a lot this summer.  Now I'll be working and won't be able to read as much.


*Picked up Day by Day Armageddon: Beyond Exile (Book 2).


*Not as good as the first, but it's a series so what are you gonna do?  I have to see where this is going.


*And it is going to a very strange place, let me tell you.  


*That is saying something given that it is a Zombie Apocalypse book!


*It was already sort of strange to begin with.


*Unshapely Things (Connor Grey, Book 1) didn't do much for me at first.  It was OK...I just wasn't into it.


*But, again, it's a series.  I am helpless with series.  I just can't move on without knowing!!!


*Once I finished Unquiet Dreams (Connor Grey, Book 2) I was kind of hooked.


*Unfallen Dead (Connor Grey, Book 3) has pretty much sealed the deal.  


*I won't say that this is great literature and there are places where I might have offered some editorial direction were I asked.


*But I really enjoy the character.  Who doesn't love a druid?


*Even a broken one who has to come to terms with the weakening of his powers and the need to find his way in the human world without them.


*Good stuff. 


*I have other books I want to read but will need to pace myself, I suppose.


*Because it isn't really August anymore.  It is dark out now and that means that night is upon me.


*Night being upon me signals the end of the last day of summer vacation.


And, with that, I think we need to part ways for now.  I probably should get some clothing ready for tomorrow and see if I can remember how to set my alarm clock.  I should also figure out a manner of dealing with the lack of bagels and how I shall support my scrambled eggs come commute time.  It is going to be a grueling one day work week and will take some prep time.

Here we go...

SA

On Thursday...

Thursday was a big day here at the Sheepish Household.  After several days of stomach trouble and not going to school to set up my classroom, I finally managed to drag myself 45 minutes southward and did my duty as an educator.  It had to be done.  Time is really running out.  School opens for teacher workshops on September 1st and the kidlets are going to be wandering in shortly thereafter.  It was a hot, muggy and rainy day, certainly not one I wanted to spend moving furniture and putting up posters that are just going to slither to the floor in a matter of hours anyway.  But I did it because time wasn't on my side anymore

Friday was going to be a much cooler kind of day, but that wasn't going to work for classroom prep.  I finally made the appointment with the vet and Da Boyz really needed to be seen for their annual shots and overall pokings/proddings.  I couldn't go to school after seeing the vet.  Once the guys realized that they weren't going to be seeing The Cat Whisperer whom they adore in a way that embarrasses me to no end, it was a tiring thing.  To be fair, they did pretty well.  And I learned that clipping a cat's claws is the most important thing to their survival and that only very, very bad pet owners do not clip their cat's claws.  Of course, this rule is suspended when Absurdly Gi-normous Kitties refuse to allow claw clipping and create a fuss that leaves the entire exam room coated in orange fur.  Then it is suddenly not so important and hardly worth the trauma.  In fact, there are cats who go their whole lives without claw clipping and do not die even if it is a beneficial service.  For the record, the Very Complicated Kitty was quite brave about having his claws clipped and duly praised for his good behavior.  This did nothing to encourage the AGK whatsoever.

Yes, Friday was busy and certainly not a day for classroom set up.  It was a day for recovery and napping off the whole morning.

And Saturday?  Hardly a day for going to school!  For one thing, I don't have a key card and I hate setting off those pesky alarms.  For another, I had a busy day ahead of me.  There was gassing up the car.  And checking the flashlights.  And ensuring that I had an adequate supply of snack foods.  And tucking away a little bit of cash just in case.  Once that was done, there was a Doctor Who marathon and that was going to take up what little time I had left after obsessively checking the weather reports and wondering how my friends and family were faring.

Much too much going on for anything remotely resembling "school work."

Sunday, much like Saturday, is not a day for going to school.  There is the issue with the aforementioned key card and the police showing up with guns drawn upon hapless teachers/intruders.  That is not the way to spend the latter half of the weekend.  However, even without that little problem, I still wouldn't have gone to school because there was the matter of Armageddon Minor.

Hurricane Irene settled herself down into a nice little tropical storm by the time it reached my door and I suppose it would have been easy to think it wasn't going to amount to much.  I guess that I maybe even did start to think that the worst was past by afternoon.  Then the power went out and the trees started to experiment with gravity and it all suddenly seemed a little more important.  Hence, I could not go to school on Sunday either.  I am not as young as I used to be and cannot dodge trees or falling power lines with any degree of grace.

Thankfully, I live on the coast and in an area that didn't flood.  We lost our power for 24 hours and that was annoying, but hardly what others had to bear.  And are still enduring.  No, I was fortunate to be where I was if I had to get any of this hurricane stuff.  Since I am currently watching television, using the interwebs and drinking an icy cold soda from the fridge, I'd say I'm a pretty lucky girl even if I did have to make coffee over a can of Sterno this morning like a hobo.

I have big plans for tomorrow and Wednesday, too.  I need to find my camera cord so I can someday upload pictures again.  That would be a nice thing to be able to do.  Especially if you just spent your morning cooking like a hobo because who doesn't want to record that for posterity????

So, as you can plainly see, I didn't have a whole lotta choice when it came to getting in to school.  I went on Thursday.  That was the day.  And next Thursday?  I'm going back again, only this time I'll be on the payroll and without anything resembling free will.

SA

Feeling Shaky

Oh, yeah...I'm fairly frantic at the moment.  Too much stuff on the to-do list and not nearly enough time to get it all done.  That said, I don't really feel like doing too much so it kind of works out if I don't think about it.

Thinking too much leads to guilt and lying awake in the wee hours of the morning wondering if it would be considered weird to get up and paint the living room.  I do, however, feel like posting some Wednesday Night Bullet Points and we don't even have wait for me to feel thought-induced guilt!

*I was supposed to go to school on Monday.


*Not to teach.  It isn't time for that yet.  But, I do need to put up a few posters and find where I put all the pencils during the end-of-year packing.


*I find that pencils are useful in a classroom situation.  Especially at the beginning when no one has their computer yet.


*I did not go to school on Monday.  I felt kind of weird.  A little shaky and achy.


*There was always Tuesday, after all!


*Yesterday was Tuesday and I was up with the birdies in order to get ready for school prep!


*My intentions were good and I even made it out the door and into the car.


*I was three miles from home when I realized that this was not going to work out.


*Not at all.


*Not in any way, shape or form.


*Spent the day with...digestive issues.


*The kind that make you whimper and rail against an unjust universe that causes the room to spin.


*Headache, too.


*Two days down and still no classroom set up.


*I have a rocking recliner that I never get to sit in because it is Cat Claimed For All Eternity.


*And it was not a good idea to sit there yesterday because things were already shaky and a rocking chair is not a good idea under those circumstances.


*I noticed it rocking rather hard at one point during the afternoon.


*Cats must have launched off that thing something fierce, I thought.


*Shortly thereafter, my Google Facebook widget came alive with reassurances.


*Mostly from family in Virginia who wanted us to know that they had survived the earthquake.


*"Thank heavens there was no earthquake here" I cried, "because I don't need to feel any more shaky!"


*Note: it took five hours and three more local Facebook posts for me to connect the violently rocking recliner to the phenomenon.


*This should give you some indication of how poorly I was feeling.


*Really just a jiggle and nothing to worry about, but you'd think I'd be more on top of earthquake activity.  I tend to get excited about that sort of thing...


*I stayed home today, too.  Feeling much better, though.


*Just needed to sleep some before going off to move furniture.


*I made soup today from home canned beef and veggies.


*Very good and made my sad tummy happy again.


*Shook in a few gentle spices and grated some Parmesan cheese over the whole thing and it all worked out well.


*Didn't make it to the Farmer's Market today.  No Weekly Visit With The Vegetables.  :(


*Today marked the Annual Sewing On Of Teddy's Noggin.


*It's a yearly event precipitated by my teddy bear's head falling off and causing me to have an horrific Godfather-like moment upon waking.


*You know...like the horse's head in the movie?


*Creepy to be in bed with a headless bear.


*His head falls off regularly now.  I am a somewhat aggressive cuddler...


*School tomorrow.  Pencils located and furniture arranged.


*At least that is the plan.


*Weather permitting.


*BTW: Who wants to be in charge of keeping me from seeing Contagion?


*I think we all know that my viewing this movie is a bad idea.  It will not end well.


*Me in the manse...duct tape on all the windows...clouds of disinfectant obscuring the view...


*You'll be able to hear me shrieking at you to get your potentially infected self away, though.  I'm certain of it.


*You might want to take shifts.  Two or three man teams of people blocking my door and that of local movie theaters.  I think that should do it.


*I finished Day by Day Armageddon.


*Loved it!  I thought the sequel was a little spendy to download, at least until the next payday rolls around.


*Filled the time with The Dying of the Light: End (Volume 1).


*Also surprisingly good.  I was a little incensed by some of the decisions made by the government at the end, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do come The Apocalypse.


*At least they didn't nuke everything.  That never goes well...


*Then I had more time to kill so I downloaded a couple of freebies.


*The Strange Case of Finley Jayne is a blatant attempt at getting people to buy The Girl in the Steel Corset (The Steampunk Chronicles).


*Let's just be clear about that.  I am no fool!  


*Furthermore, I do not like books published by that company which rhymes with Shmarlequin.


*Huggy, kissy, stupid stuff, I say!!!


*So don't expect me to say that I liked Finley Jayne.  I won't say it!!!  You can't make me!!!  Not even if you shake me really hard!!


*NOOOOOO!!!


*i kind of did like it...don't tell.


*Soul Identity was another free download from my provider of choice and a really good deal considering it was a full length novel.  


*I don't know as I'm truly invested enough to get the next one in the series, but time will tell.  It was a pretty good book, though.


*Now I'm re-reading some old favorites and working through my choices for the next series of downloads.


*I'll get back to you when I decide.


*I need to get myself together now.  I have to try some dinner.


*Maybe more soup.  I don't feel shaky so I think the soup was the best choice.


*And feed the cats who don't care if I am rocking, rolling, shaking and hurling.  They want to be fed on time.


*This has been made clear to me over the past few days.


*Plus I need to go find something to wear tomorrow that is suitable for the locating of pencils and other educational supplies.


*Let's hope the rainy weather doesn't make for a shaky trip to school!


It hasn't been the week I was planning, that is for sure.  I guess I figured I'd put off getting to school because this is what I do every year, but I honestly thought it would be more of an avoidance thing instead of a stomach bug with a side of Miniature Leftover Earthquake Shakes.  Let's hope that things start to look a little more like the plan tomorrow.

Because Friday is spoken for and will not be a school organization day.  We are all going to the vet.  Which is going to be the very definition of shaky!

SA

WNBP: Cackle-Worthy

Here at the manse, we are continuing to try and make some use of the last few days of summer vacation.  At least, I like to think that is what I am doing.   There is also a very strong possibility that I am fooling myself and spending far more time dithering away the hours than I am willing to admit.

Here's your Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  Either way, I can say that I got that done.  Truth be told, everything I put on the "completed" side of the to-do list makes me giggle just a little bit.


*Every Wednesday morning, I go through the same internal debate regarding the need to perform The Weekly Visit With The Vegetables.


*There is a very loud voice in my brain that seems to be of the opinion we are really all set with the veggies.


*I've overcome this voice each week and made it over to the farmer's market.


*I've only got a couple more trips left in this summer and I want to make the most of it.


*To date, I've canned:


*7 pints of potatoes


*3 half pints of homemade relish (that's plenty for one gal's winter hot dog consumption, I swear it!)


*4 pints of wax beans


*7 pints of green beans


*3 pints of salsa (probably not enough but I'm bored with it already...)


*3 pints of carrots


*And will do more of them tomorrow.


*I can in small batches because I have the attention span of a toddler.


*And a limited desire to eat vegetables.


*Although I must admit I've done better with that since I've been putting up my own.


*Sometimes I go look at all those pretty glass jars all lined up and waiting for me to rediscover them in winter and I begin to giggle.


*It's more of a cackle, really.


*Kind of disturbing if you want the truth...


*Upgrading my cable subscription meant getting all sorts of nifty new benefits.


*And the return of some stuff I lost in the digital transition years.


*I've spent part of today catching up with Dr. Who.  (Doctor Who: Series Six, Part 1)


*I knew there was a brand new Doctor, but it took me a while to accept him.


*I'm getting better with it now...


*Law And Order: UK confuses me a little bit. (Law & Order UK: Season One)


*Keep expecting The Doctor to show up.


*Freema Agyeman is one of the lawyers...


*And I'm told there is going to be more in the way of Dr. Who confusion coming up in the new season.


*Dr. Who on Law And Order...that makes me giggle, too!


*As I was checking the All Heck Has Broken Loose And The End Of The World Is Nigh Supply Shelves today, I realized that I somehow managed to stockpile over 70 cans of cat food.


*I don't know how to feel about that.


*On one hand, it really does smack of Crazy Cat Lady With Conspiracy Theory Issues.


*On the other hand, I don't have to go out in a snowstorm to get cat food the next time school is cancelled and I forget to go to the store.


*I heard that giggle/cackle again while I was staring into the supply closet.


*I am a little worried about me.


*Did I mention that I read Witches of East End (The Beauchamp Family)?


*I can't remember if I told you that.  I read it.  


*A while ago, actually...


*It was OK.  Not my favorite, but good.


*But I looooooved Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel!


*So funny!  And you get to read about people who are calling each other rather vile names but it's OK because they are saying it in British!


*And New Zealand-ish.  Which is not Australian-ish and you want to be clear on that beforehand.


*Insults in British are very cultured and classy so it's OK to call people names.


*At least to my ears...


*Very good tale and a nice slice of Victorian alternate history.


*At last, I felt ready to tackle The Magician King: A Novel.


*I read it in two days.  Devoured it.


*Better than the first one.  (The Magicians: A Novel)


*But you don't want to read the sequel without having read the original.  


*Even I had moments of "Wait...what? Who is that?  Why are they here?  Do I already know them?"


*And I just finished The Magicians!


*Can't imagine how confusing it would have been without a primer.


*Then, just for fun, I read The Magnificent 12: The Call.


*It was a "between paychecks freebie download."   I gave it a shot.


*Freebies don't always work out so well.


*It's awesome!  It's straight up kiddie lit.  Middle grade for sure.


*But beyond funny and really very sharply written.  


*The marketing strategy worked.  I'll no doubt spring for the sequel!


*I like kid's books.  I teach kids.  I think it's good to know what's available for them.


*Plus I like YA literature and am thrilled to have an excuse to keep reading it as an adult.


*Makes me giggle, but not cackle because that is disrespectful to the printed word.


*Now I'm reading Day by Day Armageddon.


*I like it, but I happen to enjoy the genre.  I can understand how others might find it a little slow.


*Day by day journal entries detailing the end of the world as we know it.


*These are your nice, well-behaved zombies who conform to tradition.


*They shamble, never run and fall down decently when someone scores a head shot.


*I appreciate it when the undead respect the rules.


*Again, I do not laugh.  Nor giggle.  Nor cackle.


*Don't want to attract any undue, undead attention...


*I'm giggling on the inside.



And so goes another Wednesday as we count down the last of the summery ones.  Only two more left before I'm back to adding school-related bullet points to the post.  Those are often some of the funnier ones and I'm certain that they will make me giggle.

For now, though, I find the sight of my well-stocked supply cabinet and afternoon naps far more cackle-worthy...

SA

We Shall Overcome

I have a longstanding love/hate relationship with the cable company.  On one hand, they have managed to create some of the most frustrating and irritating moments in my life.  On the other...they provide me with TV.  I love TV.  TV is good.

For the most part, my love of TV is enough to keep me from doing things that might be considered rash or ill advised.  Like chasing cable trucks with loaded weaponry after being made to wait four days six hours and twenty eight minutes for a service technician.

Still, one has to take a stand at certain points and I took mine when the digital switch came about.  I had a digital television.  I had standard cable.  I did not have a digital cable box, however.  Hence, I went to the cable company's website to see about this new and exciting development in the life of TV.  There, I discovered they were trying to pull a fast one!  Oh, they are cunning devils over there at the cable company!

They were trying to make it look all complicated and trick people into scheduling one of those service calls that make me want to chase the trucks!  I happened to know that this wasn't necessary and that one could "self-install" a digital box quite easily.  They were most certainly not fooling me.  I was smarter than that and I would punish them for this slight upon my intelligence!

I would not get a digital cable box.  I would sit happily in my living room with my standard old cable.  It was just fine, thank you very much.  It even had a few high def. channels.  Sure, I lost a lot of stations when the transition took place, but I could live with that.  I was Striking A Blow For The Little Guy and Withholding Money From The Evil Corporation!

That would get them, for sure.  Because it was less money to not get the box and keep my old cable subscription.  It was (and try not to gasp aloud on this one, folks)...SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS CHEAPER PER MONTH!

Frankly, I am nothing short of an inspiration to protesters for social betterment everywhere.  If only I'd been around to advise Gandhi and the like...

Last Friday, however, I got to thinking.  It had been quite a while since I began this campaign of terror.  Why, some of the people now working at the cable company probably weren't even born when I first launched my protest, right?  Perhaps it was time to let them off the hook.  Just a little bit.

I had to go over to the local office anyway.  I sort of took the protest too far and forgot to pay the cable bill.  The big, evil conglomerate might have taken the loss of my seven dollars per month stoically, but they were a little less calm when I neglected them altogether.  I needed to scoot over there and drop off a check before my scanty cable services disappeared.

I'm a mighty force for change and a beacon of hope in this world, but I don't think I deserve to live without Nickelodeon...

I left the cable offices with my bill paid in full and a gi-normous box of cable-y goodness under my arm. I even sprung for the DVR.  Having suffered to make my point for so long, I felt that giving the cable company a taste of what they could have had all these years was perfectly acceptable.  I'm certain they are now regretting their lack of clarity when it came to digital cable boxes and the installation thereof.

I expect any day now to receive a certified letter from The President Of All Things Cable filled to the brim with apologies and heartfelt thanks for the second chance.  I shall receive it graciously and not indulge myself in petty I-told-you-so's.

Meanwhile, I am quite pleased to be joining you all in the 21st century.  The new cable box is magical.  It can turn back time, allow me to go to bed at a reasonable hour without missing good programming and freeze itself in order that I might use the restroom as needed.  It's really very accommodating.  I am falling in love with TV all over again now that the long protest is over.

Of course, it was probably poor judgement to do this right before the start of the new school year.  I'll have to leave my shiny new cable box behind in a very short while.  Looks like I'll be using that DVR a lot more in the near future...

SA

WNBP: A Very Rainy Wednesday

My August-Induced Lethargy continues unabated.  Today the whole situation was made worse by the addition of pittery-pattery raindrops that inspired nothing but napping.  This is not helping me in my quest to finish up as much as humanly possible before the school bells tolls.

I shall rouse myself enough to do a few bullet points for you, though.  Because it is Wednesday and I like to think of myself as the sort of gal who honors tradition no matter what the weather.

*I have to start thinking about getting up earlier.  It takes me a while to reset the internal clocks.


*I spent all of July getting up stoopid early.  Couldn't seem to get the hang of vacation.


*Now I'm really quite settled into the vacation routine.


*Just in time to begin the process of retraining my brain back to school time...


*Almost didn't make it to the Farmer's Market this morning.  Too rainy.


*Too gray.


*Too much like a Sleep In Until Christmas kind of day.


*I got up.  I put on shoes.  I bought some green beans.


*I feel better for having done it.


*Frankly, I was kind of happy to be out of the house since staying home meant continuing with unknitting that inch of sock that I made by mistake.


*The Farmer's Market is right next to the discount store I frequent.


*I wanted to go there because the last time I went they had that organic, grain-free cat food approved by my vet for .99 cents a can.


*It's, like, a buck thirty at the grocery store.


*I snagged twenty cans last time to put in the Just In Case We Are Trapped And Unable to Shop Cupboard.


*AKA the End Of The World Is Nigh Supply.


*First rule of stockpiling:  Determine Need.


*Cats need to be fed.  If you do not feed them things they like, they shred your curtains in a highly passive aggressive fashion.


*They also tend to eye your toes alarmingly when they think you are asleep.


*The cat food was still on sale.  But now it was down to two for a dollar.


*That's .50 cents a can!!!


*Second rule of stockpiling:  Determine Storage Potential.


*There is nothing to be gained by buying a bunch of stuff that is expiring as you make the drive home.


*Cans were checked, expiration dates reviewed.


*Everything intact.  Many, many moons before I have to start force feeding the felines multiple servings.


*I bought another forty cans of cat food.


*And then shut down not one, but two check-out lanes as the cashiers and I discussed the joys of cat ownership and the lengths to which we will go in order to ensure the health and happiness of our little fur babies.


*We compared vets, health complications and diets.  I learned a little something about the healing benefits of kitty acupuncture.


*Yes.  Other customers are, as we speak, complaining about me over the dinner table to anyone who will listen.


*For the record, I did not initiate this conversation.  I just bought forty cans of cat food.


*I'll probably be going back for more once payday rolls around...


*Query:  When did I become a person old enough that the movies of my youth are now ready to be "remade?"


*Probably right around the time I became the sort of person who giggles over cat food sales...


*I finished The Magicians: A Novel.


*Haven't gotten The Magician King: A Novel yet, though.  It came out yesterday or the day before that or something along those lines but I'm not quite ready.


*I needed something different so I decided to pick up Twilight Eyes.


*I like Dean Koontz.  Except for when I don't.


*This was an odd book and a little hard to get into at first.  Frankly, I found the main character to be kind of unlikeable.  A little whiny....although heaven knows he had good reason to be.  Still, I didn't connect.


*In the second half of the book, he suddenly seemed to grow up.  It was almost as if I was reading another novel entirely.  I liked him ever so much more in spite of the fact that little time had passed book-wise.


*Turns out, there was a very good reason for that.  Sometimes it's worth reading the afterword.


*You get to find out all about how the original novel changed and was expanded upon.


*And Mr. Koontz is very funny.  Especially when discussing his overwhelming desire to shoot television executives in the foot.


*Something we've all contemplated at one point or another...


*The following video is not being presented as an example of the World's Lamest Flash Mob.


*It might make Honorable Mention...but not the actual lamest.


*Frankly, you have to give them props for making the most of a limited budget and a dire situation.


*Plus it was raining.


*And let's face it.  If more people were adopting cats at the moment, this sort of thing wouldn't be necessary now would it?





I wasn't there, of course.  I was home putting away cat food and napping in time to the raindrops.  Which isn't such a bad way to spend a Wednesday, especially when you've got a nice, warm, well-fed cat or two to share the sofa.

SA