WNBP: Long Overdue

I honestly didn't mean for a whole week to go by between posts.  Honestly!  However, it seems as though that is exactly what happened and I have no excuses for my poor behavior.  I could tell you all about how I'm on vacation this week and lazing around with no guilt whatsoever, but I'm not going to do that.  I'm just going to stand humbly before you with a hangdog face and hope for forgiveness.

And if that doesn't work, I'm going to do the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  People seem to like it when I do that...

*I had a few things I wanted to do during this year's Spring Break.


*The first was keep up with blogging.


*I think we all know how that worked out.


*The second was to catch up on reading and commenting upon the blogs of others.


*Check your stats.  Read through your comments.


*I haven't quite met that goal either.


*The third was to get the taxes done and that one really took a chunk out of my will to do other things.


*Taxes are stupid and boring and they make my head hurt.


*Especially when I don't have all the information I need to finish them and all backup data seems to be MIA.


*And when I have to rely on facts and figures coming to me through the postal service.


*Taxes, as I may have already mentioned, are stupid and boring and they make my head hurt.


*I filed an extension before I got a big, fat aneurysm.


*Turns out Maine has a very interesting policy when it comes to filing taxes.  It goes something like this:

We here in the Department Of Revenue take taxes very seriously and you shouldn't mess with us.  Deadlines mean the world to us.  We revere deadlines.  You should make a note of them and meet every single one in a timely fashion.  Unless, of course, you don't owe us any money.  In that case, please feel free to take your time.  We honestly couldn't care less.  We are currently taxing everything anyway so there's no need to feel rushed.  Take six months.  Don't even bother to tell us that's the plan.  We are certain you'll get back to us when you can.  In fact, if six months won't do it for you then drop us a note.  We have all the time in the world here...

*The Federal Government is a little less forgiving, but not by much.  They don't care if you get bored with your taxes at the eleventh hour and file an extension.  


*I'm guessing that my refund status might have had some influence on that.


*Taxes will be filed on Friday.  Everyone gets what they want and no one has to get hurt.


*It is safe to say that I am not exactly "goal-driven" right now...


*I did manage to strip half a wall's worth of wallpaper.


*Almost half a wall...


*And the Very Complicated Kitty did a quarter of that during his nocturnal redecorating.


*But I'm still counting it as a task in progress because, really, what else do I have?


*Planned on working on the sock, but we probably shouldn't talk about that since I've been telling you how I haven't worked on the sock for weeks now.


*In my defense, the tax thing made my head hurt and it's been raining most of the week.


*I've spent a lot of time napping.


*Fun Fact:  Da Boyz get very excited when I cook chicken.


*Sometimes I take cooked chicken and smoosh it up with a little sweet potato and peas and they never know it this time it is for them.


*Looks gross after it comes out of the blender, but they love it and it's grain-free.


*We strive for the grain-free diet here.


*They love it.  They'll cut you for the smallest morsel.


*I have personally witnessed the Very Complicated Kitty smacking the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty right on the head because he's already finished his food and wants more.


*The VCK loves his brother more than he loves me, but the chicken goop wins out every time.


*We don't do the goop very often since it is kind of a bother, causes sibling rivalry and makes me look like a Major Crazy Cat Lady...


*In between napping and not doing my taxes, I have managed to find time for some reading.


*I can't remember if I told you I'd finished Flutter (My Blood Approves, Book 3).


*A fun series.


*Looks as though the author self-published at the outset and sometimes the editing leaves a little bit to be desired, but it's still good stuff.


*And I love that authors now have a means for getting their work out there when traditional publishing isn't an option.


*More choices is good for everyone and the price is usually right.


*Then I took up Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices, Book 1).


*Wow.


*This series is a prequel to an already existing line of novels. (The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass)


*I don't know if I'm interested in those quite so much, but time will tell.


*I do know that  Clockwork Prince (Infernal Devices) will be on my To Read list just as soon as it's available.


*Now I'm back in the world of Felix Castor and eagerly learning how things worked out following the latest disaster.


*The Naming of the Beasts (Felix Castor)


*These are kind of like the Dresden Files (Storm Front (The Dresden Files, Book 1)


*But with less of the angst and more of the London atmosphere.


*I'm not knocking the angst.  Angst makes Harry Dresden the compelling character he is, after all.


*But Felix somehow manages to keep things a little more upbeat.


*And it is entirely possible that he has more to feel badly about.


*Most of the books I want to read aren't out yet.


*This is causing me a great deal of stress.


*Less than taxes, more than stripping wallpaper.


*If that helps you to get a better picture.


*I'm sure that things will start to look up soon.


*They can't withhold these books from me forever.  I know they have them.  They'll crack any day now and make them available to me.


*Meanwhile, I'll have a tax refund in hand and will be well-rested after all my napping.


And that's all there is.  To summarize, I have done very little over the past week and have no excuse whatsoever for not blogging that fact.  Maybe I'll perk up a little bit for the last two days of vacation and then I'll catch up.  Or not.  It's kind of hard to tell at this point.

What are the limits to filing extensions?  Is it just for taxes or does it work for anything?

SA

Thursday Night Bullet Post. Seriously.

Do not tell me it is Wednesday.  I don't even want to hear it.  This is the longest week in the history of EVER and I cannot bear to hear that tomorrow isn't Friday.  I know that tomorrow is going to be a bit of a letdown, but I don't care.  In the here and now, I prefer to think of myself as being closer to the weekend than anything a mere Wednesday could boast.

That said, I am still going to do the weekly bullet points.

*I looked at the sock today.  


*Not to knit.  It just got tangled up in the computer cord, is all.


*I have a vacation next week.  Perhaps I'll see fit to wrangle a stitch or two once the trials and tribulations of my middle school teaching career are on hold.


*Sometimes I like to think of myself as very sophisticated and cosmopolitan.


*Usually I get a slap-down and the reality of my less-than-urban existence is made plain.


*You know you live in a rural area when you can march into the school's main office brandishing a feather and bellowing, "TURKEYS ARE SOOOO STUPID!!" without anyone requiring further explanation.


*For those of you who are more on the sophisticated and cosmopolitan end of the scale and since it has been a while since Thanksgiving, I shall expand upon this just a bit.


*Turkeys are not aerodynamic creatures by nature.


*Turkeys lack anything remotely resembling common sense.


*Turkeys, even the younger females not raised on farms and high fat diets, are on the large side.


*Turkeys like to think they are graceful and given to flight.


*They are not but, if you refer to the second Turkey Point, you can understand why they might be easily convinced.


*Turkeys that try to fly across the road ahead of your car will inevitably smack into your bumper.


*Then they will shake themselves and have the nerve to look miffed as they stagger off into the woods because they don't understand the laws around cutting off motorists who are tired and cranky and just trying to get to work on a Tuesday so they can say they are one day closer to their vacation.


*Turkeys are supposed to yield.  It is the law.  They are too stupid to know that.


*I had to delay entering the school and stall the entire educational process in order that I might pick turkey feathers out of my grill.


*Then spend time in the office doing my impression of a stupid turkey flying across the road and into my car for Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk.


*It was a good impression and I even included my own improvised soundtrack.


*Note:  It is not a good idea to do a stupid turkey impression with improvised soundtrack for MSWSATFD because she will then make you do it for everyone including Mr. Principal.

This one was stuck waaaaaaay down into the grille.  I've included a pencil for scale in case you think it's just a sparrow feather or something...

*No.  I don't know how the stupid turkey is doing.  


*I do not have the expertise necessary to chase a wild bird around the woods in order to administer first aid.


*I am certain that the stupid turkey's attorney will be in touch any day now. 


*The classroom was a wee bit explody today.  


*At last count, I had one box of pencils thrown at the wall, one kid inform me that he was going to beat me to death with a water bottle and one lad so thrilled with the chaos that he spent as much time as humanly possible encouraging his peers to new heights of anarchy.


*This is a little beyond the usual state of crazy and I blame it on the fact that it is not Thursday.


*And in reading news....


*I finished Thicker Than Water (Felix Castor).


*Gosh, I love this series.  May have already mentioned that, but it never hurts to toss it out there again.


*Then I started Fate (My Blood Approves, Book 2).


*I started reading Amanda Hocking because the Cheerful Teaching Assistant liked her and didn't have anyone with whom to discuss the books.


*She hasn't read these yet and needs to because now I'm without a book buddy.


*It seems only fair.  And I have Flutter (My Blood Approves, Book 3) waiting in the wings.  


*She needs to get on this...


*There are others in the series, but I'll probably take a break after the third one.


*I picked up a copy of Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices, Book 1) because it looked too intriguing to not investigate.


*Didn't read much last night.


*Deadliest Catch premier.  'Nuff said.


*Plus I was still traumatized from the stupid turkey attack and whatnot.


*When you factor in the whole "not even close to the end of the week" and "kids in my class couldn't be worse now that vacation is so close" issues, you can certainly understand how I might be needing to stare into space numbly for a few hours.


Well, that should about cover it.  I should really be getting ready for Friday what with it being Thursday and all.  Friday is a very nice day and one I like to celebrate.  I need to rest up for the Big Friday Dance I plan to do.

Just go with it.  I know I'm just deluding myself.  But I plan on remaining in denial until I absolutely have to accept reality.  I was hit by a turkey.  I am entitled.

SA

Raindrops On Roses And Whiskers On Werewolves

Every so often, I come to a point where I think it is in my best interest to start focusing on the positive.  I'm generally a fairly sunny sort of gal. I can see the up side.  However, I still believe it can't hurt to have a list of stuff that is anywhere from moderately to extremely awesome tucked away for an emergency.  You never know.  Dark days tend to come in strings of ten or twelve.  If you are already prepared, then you aren't reduced to stretching yourself into believing that stepping in a pile of doggy doo is a nice way of reminding you to wash your socks.

Here are a few of my latest Favorite Things:

Short Rows, Hold The Wraps

I was startled to learn that a short row heel fits me remarkably well.  I was a die hard flapper and nothing was going to convince me that my delicate foot could ever survive being housed in a short row.  Until, that is, I tried one.  Then I was hooked!  Plus they lent themselves so well to the toe-up construction!  What could be better?

Well...not having to pick up the stupid wraps on the short rows.  That could be better.  Wraps suck.  There is no way around that.  Except that there is!

The interwebs have taught me that the whole wrap-pick-up deal is a big fat lie perpetrated upon us by The Man.  TM seems to think that we should all suffer this nonsense for no reason other than it amuses TM to see us going through the agony.

Really all you have to do is get to the point where you'd normally wrap and turn and then just turn.  Don't wrap.  Wrapping is stupid.  Don't go there.  Once you've finished the first half of the heel and are at the point where you'd be gearing yourself up for the pick ups, relax.  There are no wraps.  Every time you get to one before the unworked stitch, knit or purl two stitches together then make one to keep the count right.  Turn and carry on just like the wrappers but secure in the knowledge that you have evolved beyond such things.

With a little practice, it looks perfect and even if it didn't there are no wraps so who really cares???


Better Bookmarking

Fellow Educators, hearken to my words!  I know your pain.  I know what it means to have a roomful of students before you and the need to get all of them on the same web page before the end of the period.  I have been there.  Some will get it, a few will come close and a small but crucial percentage will give up and just go to YouTube to watch funny baby videos.

PortaPortal is really a much better way to go.  As much as I like a good funny baby video, I don't think the taxpayers would appreciate that being a part of the lesson plan.  With a free account, you can collect and organize a reasonable number of bookmarks for the little darlings and everyone can get where they need to be with a minimum of scrambling and typos.

The site is teacher friendly and, while the free version has quite a few ads, they are very easy to work around.  The whole concept would work well for anyone who needs a lot of people looking at the same thing, really.  For example, if you are planning a family vacation and want everyone to take a virtual tour of the island you've chosen to and debate the merits of the bike rental places available, PortaPortal could be most helpful.  And you get to choose your own background color, too.

Oh, and yes.  The developers are very aware of how much the name sounds like PortaPotty.  They did it on purpose because they think it's funny.  Which it is.


Being Human

Yes, it is the American version and yes, we all know that the original BBC show is always going to be better.  But I still love this show enough to have stopped watching the latter so it won't spoil it for me.  I'll go back later and catch up with it. Josh The Ultra-Adorable Werewolf Who Brings Out A Maternal Side I didn't Even Know I had is worth it.  I almost even look forward to Mondays now...


The IRS

Just kidding.  I don't love the IRS.  They are not a favorite thing.  I sort of hate them even if they are a necessary evil and whatnot.  What I do love, however, is that I can get a free transcript of last year's return when my laptop crashes and my "foolproof" back up didn't work out so good either.  Of course, I should have requested it sooner, but I like to think a little added stress at tax time is good for the complexion.  It gives the cheeks a glow.  And that wild, bug-eyed look really takes the crows feet for a nice stretch.  You can hardly see them.


Storytelling On A Budget

How happy am I to know that I can get free PodioBooks through Itunes?  Here's a hint:  VERY!  I love to listen to books while I make the dreary commute to work and my Ipod runs nicely through my car's sound system.  But audiobooks can get a little spendy and I am, after all, a girl on a budget.  I'm not saying that content available for free is always high quality.  In fact, it is sometimes kind of dreadful.  Still, there are some real gems out there and a great deal of amazing engineering that goes into producing them.  Many are even fully cast.  And zombie laden.  Lots of zombie fiction out there just waiting to distract me from the fact that I am going to work.


I have lots of other favorite things, but these are my current pick-me-ups.  When I feel the blues start to peek their ugly little heads around the corner, I just put on my short-row socks, add a new bookmark to my class site and cue up a tale of horrific, ghastly ghouls.  Suddenly, the world is a brighter place except for the tax stuff.

I wonder if werewolves have to do taxes...

SA

WNBP: Still Marching

March is a very long month for those of us providing wisdom to the students of Maine. Even when it is over.  While I realize that we get a lot of vacation time, the stretch between the break in February and the next in April is endless.  Even if you factor in the snow days, I still feel like I've been Marching steadily along the gauntlet forever.  I think that the cure for the Not-Quite-April-Vacation-Blues is a little dose of the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  There's nothing quite like random blathering to take your mind off your troubles!

*This week has been ridiculous.  It's the sort of week where people come up to you once an hour and say:


"Is that a little smile I see?  Just the barest hint of happy lurking at the corner of your mouth?  Why, yes!  I do believe it is!  Why don't I just take care of that for you..."


*Seriously.  Every hour on the hour.


*At least it's not snowing...


*For the moment...


*Probably shouldn't say that aloud...


*I have a toe.  


*It's the second of two toes.  


*Of two socks.  


*Someday I will have two whole socks, but for now, I'm sort of happy about having two toes.


*Wanna see something cute?

Da Boyz sharing their pink blankie.

*I have never, in my whole adult life, had two cats who could be within ten feet of one another unless food was involved.

This is the sort of cute that blinds people and causes traffic accidents...

*For reasons that do not entirely make sense to me, (the boy who is) Dark & Disturbed has decided to start practicing ninja moves in his spare time.


*Or when I am teaching.


*Or having a conversation.


*Suddenly, a dark blur of ninja fury will whiz between me and whomever I might be addressing.


*It is disconcerting...


*Although the ear-shattering tunes blaring from The Boy With The Bass Booming Earbuds is coming in a close second.


*Third would be the weird smell coming from the coconut shell birdhouse that The Future Farmer made and left on my desk a week ago.


*Reading is my only escape these days.


*I couldn't wait any longer to dive intoThe Dark and Hollow Places (Forest of Hands and Teeth, Book 3).


*I can't remember if I told you I'd started that one so I'm telling you now.


*Soooooo good!  More of the Happily Ever After vibe attempted in this one, but I don't blame the author.


*Someone had to have something good happen to them.  The post-apocalyptic world ruled by zombie hordes tends to get a little grim after a fashion...


*Don't get me wrong, the strangely dark and beautiful tone remains fully intact.  


*I normally don't like it when a series uses a different character perspective for each novel, but this series makes it work.


*With that one finished, I returned to the world of Felix Castor and took up Dead Men's Boots (Felix Castor).


*Truly fun reading, but edgy at the same time.  


*Also goes at a fast clip.


*Now, because I know that The Cheerful Teaching Assistant would want me to, I am reading My Blood Approves.


*The CTA loves Amanda Hocking.  I like Amanda Hocking.  


*And we both love talking about what we are reading so it's good to stay ahead of the curve on this series.


*The CTA hasn't started it yet.  


*And, in digital form, these are pretty cheap books.


*It's still a few days until payday so cheap books are a very good thing.


*I'm not the only one having difficulty holding myself together these days.


*Best line of the week courtesy of Mr. Assistant Principal:

"I don't want anyone losing any sleep over this.  I mean...it's just a muffin, not plutonium!"

*The staff is having some difficulty adjusting to the new breakfast cart that is coming around every first period.


*To be fair, the concept is sound.  Kids who miss breakfast in the cafeteria due to late buses can still get something to eat.


*It's just that no one told us about it, nor was the process explained particularly well once they got around to mentioning it.  


*Next thing you know, the science teachers are envisioning crumbs in the beakers and Ms. Sheep can only think of the stampeding herd of hungry students trampling her on their way to sustenance.


*It's not really going to work that way but, as I said, the explanation we received at yesterday's staff meeting wasn't exactly comprehensive.


*Sometimes a muffin is more than a muffin.


*Or seems like it at first glance...


And so it goes.  March is well past, but I'm still marching to its tune.  I think there's maybe another week and a half before someone decides to end this madness and let me sit at home for a week, but I'm not really sure.  It could be more.  Even if it's not more, it still feels like it.

Maybe I should get one of those muffins.  You know.  For strength on the last leg of the march...

SA

Daily Dose Of Iron(y)

Irony is funny. Quite humorous, really.  Well...except when it is highly irritating.  Then it is most certainly not funny.  But, it will be. You just sort of have to wait it out a bit.  The humor will eventually start to show through.

For example, if you happen to be so sick of winter that you can't stand it, then a sudden snowstorm in April will be very ironic.  And not at all funny.

It will be even more ironic if that storm happens to fall on April first.  In fact, that is the very height of irony and perhaps even a bit of an exception.  You can't help but shake your head and chuckle a little when a major snowstorm drops by on April Fool's Day.

I find my attitude towards snow days somewhat ironic.  The first one that rolls around is always cause for great celebration.  Whoo-hoo!!!  A day off right in the middle of the work week!  No school for Sheepie!!! I feel the same way about the second one.  Even the third is something of a giggle-fest.  I likes me a nice, big snow day!

However, the fourth time the auto-dial system calls me to tell me I should stay home, I start to get nervous.  These days are piling up.  This means a longer school year.  Noticeably longer.  And the fifth time?  Well, that just sends me right into a spiral.  Five days is a whole week!  A whole extra week with these children who don't want to listen to a word I say and don't care that the government gets mad when they aren't educated!

Suddenly, I hate snow days.  You don't even want to know what I'm like when the sixth call comes.  By then, I am so immersed in my depression over the whole sorry business that I can't even function enough to enjoy my day off.  All I can think about is how I will be going to school until the end of June and how the teacher workshops we have to attend after the kids leave will literally mean I don't get to start enjoying my summer break until July.

That which I once loved becomes the very definition of that which I hate.  Ironic...

So maybe the snow day situation isn't quite funny yet.  I'm certain that I will one day be able to tell the tale of The School Year That Wouldn't End with a twinkle in my eye.  I'm guessing that this will be sometime into my fourth year of retirement and while I am telling some of the shiny, fresh new teachers all about how Ms. Sheep survived teaching back in the good ol' days.  They will look at me with awe and maybe a little bit of pity since they don't know about despair yet.  They will still be at the Changing The World One Child At A Time stage of their careers.  This, I think is what will help me to start feeling the funny.

Meanwhile, since I am nowhere near retirement and this school year from the bowels of the underworld is still very much in progress, I suppose I should settle for finding the bright side.  There has to be something to which I can cling in these dark, dark days.  Something.  Just one little thing...

Like a finished sock!!

I even had time to start the second.  One whole toe all ready to go!  That's something.  I'll maybe even have it finished in time to wear my socks to school.  This doesn't really require much in the way of stretching the imagination.  School is going to be going on for a while this year.  I'll maybe even be able to wear them to this year"s Middle School Independence Day And Algebra Test Party.  Yup.  It'll be 97 degrees in the shade and I'll still be in school wearing my newly knit, festive wool socks that I worked on during the snow days.

Also very ironic...

SA

WNBP: It's Just Nuts!

Greetings, All!  Your faithful Sheepie is here to regale you with the weekly Wednesday Night Bullet Post! Let's see where we are today...

*First of all, let's get one thing straight.  Anyone thinking of mentioning that they heard there might be some "weather" coming my way on Friday should reconsider all the available conversational options.


*In spite of the fact that there is a low probability of my area seeing much in the way of snow, I am still sort of cranky about the whole matter.


*Winter is over.  Winter should go to therapy and learn to let go.  No one likes a clingy season.


*Speaking of things that won't let go, the Stoopid Cold that installed itself into my sinus cavities is loosening up somewhat.


*But slowly.  Very slowly.  Its tenacity rivals winter's.


*I was up at 3:00 this morning hacking and gasping.


*Great fun for the cats.  They like it when Mommy is up and about in the dark of the pre-dawn hours.


*They think I'm doing it for them...


*Here's a little slice of the educational process you might not have known was going on in schools today:

The Future Farmer:  Hey, Ms. Sheep!  Lookit what I brought!

Ms. Sheep:  Just a minute.  I'm trying to take attendance.

TFF:  No!  Look!!!  (brandishes a large, foil wrapped ball)

MS:  Um...do I need to call the bomb squad?

TFF:  No.  Listen...hear how it sloshes when I shake it?  That's cool, right?

MS:  I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that.  And to set it down very carefully on the desk then step away with your hands raised.

TFF:  You're so funny, Ms. Sheep.  Imagine...being scared of a coconut!

MS:  You brought a coconut to school?

TFF:  Yup.

MS:  And you thought to wrap it in foil first?

TFF:  It's food.  That's what you do with food.

MS:  Okay.  You got me there.  And why, pray tell, did you bring a coconut to school today?  It's not exactly the kind of thing we generally have here at the middle school...

TFF:  It was on sale.

MS:  Good to know.  But it still doesn't explain why you brought it here.

TFF:  We are going to open it.  I don't exactly know how you do that, but I'm guessing we will need some tools and that I'll probably get to smash it at some point.

MS:  Yes...that does seem likely doesn't it?

*You can't exactly ignore a coconut in the classroom.  Nor can you deny a small group of young teens the opportunity to smash something.


*Whole class trooped outside to make the tropical magic happen.


*Final verdict:  smashing good.  Raw coconut:  bad


*In the words of the Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  I thought I was going to be getting the yummy inside of a Mounds Bar and what I got was a mouthful of mushy soapy stuff!


*I happen to like raw coconut, but I suppose it's more of an acquired taste.  And very fun to eat it in front of kids who are horrified by the act.


*The experience was best described by (the boy who is) Dark & Disturbed:  Oh my God!  This is awful!  I can still taste it way down in my throat hole!!!


*The Future Farmer scraped out all the remaining meat and discarded it.  Then he reassembled the shell and made a birdhouse out of it.


*Because that is just what he does...


*And in bookish news...


*I finished The Devil You Know (Felix Castor).  Loved it!!!


*As soon as payday rolled around, I snapped up the next one, Vicious Circle (Felix Castor).


*Devoured it.  Great fun!!


*It took everything I had to not activate my reader's wireless ability and buy Dead Men's Boots (Felix Castor)!


*I did not.


*I had The Dark and Hollow Places (Forest of Hands and Teeth, Book 3) waiting patiently in the wings and knew I'd hate myself for not seeing how things were going in the land of the dead.


*I love this series.  I'm not saying it's an easy read or that everything about it is pleasant.  


*In fact, most of it is heartbreaking.  


*But it is painful in a way that makes it kind of beautiful.


*Insomuch as living in a world where the dead are strolling about, oblivious to the fact that it is impolite to not lie down decently once respiration has ceased.


*It's not campy and it's not sensationalized.  You'll just have to take my word for it.  


*It's literary zombie fiction.


*So glad I took a break from the trials and tribulations of Felix Castor for a bit.  I'll be back soon, I promise!


*Meanwhile, I convinced the Cheerful Teaching Assistant to start Tempest Rising (Jane True).


*Now she sits at her desk with her Kindle in between teaching moments and chortles happily.


*I do so love it when I can bring a fellow reader into the fold.  Plus, it gives me someone with whom to discuss plot lines.


*I knit exactly three rounds on the sock.  The Stoopid Cold didn't like it when I knit so I had to stop.


*The Stoopid Cold may be fading, but its influence lingers.


*I'm hoping to distract it with some decongestants tonight and see if I can't get a few more rows in.


*Since the weather has gone nuts and winter still lurks, I suppose I'll need socks well into July this year...



Well, that should about do it for this week's edition of the WNBP.  I think I'll not elaborate on the part where everyone down in the main office kept singing "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts" as they watched us make our way back into the building.  It was funny at first, but lost some of its charm after the fiftieth refrain and you don't need to hear about that.  I'll just end it here and go do something productive.

Like stock up the cupboards for the storm.  They may be calling for more in the way of rain in my area, but this winter has been kind of nutty and I no longer trust that a person can't be buried in snow on April Fool's Day anymore...

SA

Sick Drama

Last Friday, I returned to school after a day and a half absence.  I found myself a little sniffly on Wednesday and a little stomach buggy on Thursday.  Upon my arrival, I was greeted by The Boy For Whom All The World's A Stage:

"Oh my God!!  You're back!  I don't mind telling you I was VERY WORRIED.  You are almost NEVER absent, let alone for two days!  I thought you were DYING or something!!!

I assured him that I was not dying, although there were certainly points during the process that I wished for something maybe along the lines of a brief coma.  I still wasn't feeling tip-top, but I still felt like I was gonna beat this.  After all, every cold I've had to date this school year has been summarily beaten back by my iron-clad immune system and my stone cold will to survive.  I thanked him for his concern and suggested that he save his drama for something like earthquakes and starving nations.

My weekend was less than pleasant.  The cold, apparently the stubborn type who takes challenges seriously, hung in there.  I cancelled my appointment with The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach for the second week running and shuffled around the house with a tissue wadded up my nose because I no longer care what I look like.  My hair is a train wreck...why bother anymore?

I spent some quality time staring at the Very Bright And Peppy Toe-Up Sock, but after a while it started to hurt my watery eyes and I never really worked up the will to knit upon it.

I beat back the low fever that started on Sunday night and stocked my purse with cough drops.  My day and a half away from school resulted in a great deal of clean-up and my little inner voice told me I wouldn't be happy with myself if I took another sick day.

The Boy For Whom All The World's A Stage arrived late today.  He surveyed the situation and gave his assessment in true form.

Yeesh!  You look horrible.  You should be home in bed or something.  I'll just get a that hand sanitizer out of my bag and glop on a gallon or two.  Nothing personal, it's just that...HEY!  Where is the Cheerful Teaching Assistant?  Don't tell me she isn't here!  I cannot function in my Social Studies class without her!!  Is she out today?  Is she all right?  Is this going to be a long term thing or do I just have to suffer through one day?  Why does everything happen to me???

I calmly told him that the CTA was sick, but that she'd emailed and said she would be OK.  I promised to help him with his work and not so much as exhale my foul germiness in his general direction.  This seemed to soothe him somewhat.

Oh.   Well, that's OK then.  Besides, we have the Organized Teaching Assistant.  We'll be just fine.  All I need to do is breathe slowly for a minute...OH MY GOD!  Her desk!  It's empty!  WHERE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS THE OTA?????

That one was more complicated.  The school's automated sick day system hasn't been working well for some staff and I honestly didn't know where the OTA was.  I did my best to reassure TBFWATWAS, but he wasn't buying it.

WHAT???  You don't know where she is?  Well, that's just great.  She's probably fell and is lying in her driveway right now, calling weakly for help and clinging to the hope that someone at school will miss her before she dies right there.  Alone.  In the cold.  AND THEN THERE WILL BE NO ONE TO HELP ME IN MY SCIENCE AND LANGUAGE ARTS CLASSES!!!

I wish he hadn't said that.  Now, all I could think about was my raging cold and how my teaching assistant was succumbing to hypothermia ten steps from her front door.  It was a long day.  And not just because I have a classroom that is open to students all day and that I was drinking lots of water to combat the cough with no hope of a bathroom break until the kids were dismissed at 2:45.

It all worked out, though.  I was able to reach the OTA on her cell phone and it turned out she wasn't face down in the gravel.  Two kids were dismissed early and I managed to sneak a bathroom break in around 11:00 right about the time the coughing started to make the bladder situation just this side of dicey.  With any luck, I'll have at least one person back on the team tomorrow and I can spend part of the day sitting in my office with a tissue stuck up my nose like a respectable sick person.

However, I am starting to think that TBFWATWAS might be onto something.  Normally, I find his theatrics a little amusing and sometimes maybe just a bit annoying.  He does tend to go over the top every now and again.

But maybe a dose of panic and dramatic expression isn't exactly out of place at the moment...

SA

WNBP: A Day Of Rest

My new friend, The Horrible, Terrible Cold and I would like to welcome you to the Wednesday Night bullet post.  I am currently pretending that the cold is my friend and that I love having it around.  I think that this will confuse it enough to make it lose confidence in itself.  Then it will have to go on a retreat somewhere in the mountains and leave me alone.  It's a theory, but I think it will pan out pretty well.

Meanwhile, here are your Wednesday Night Bullet Points:

* The cold got the better of me today.  


*Frankly, getting up at 2:00 in the morning to keep it company kind of took the wind out of my sails.


*Since I was fully staffed in the classroom and short by one (but very key) student, I decided to take my leave.


*It took me over an hour to get out the door, but I eventually made it back to my bed.


*I don't necessarily feel any better for having done it, but it was worth a shot.


*There is no scientific proof to support the healing properties of napping with a big, fat cat.


*But I don't think it hurt...


*I had to stay late last night for Parent/Teacher Conferences.  Again.


*Except I didn't have any conferences scheduled so I mostly spent the time talking with the custodian about how to plan for The Coming Days Of Hardship and The Art Of Stockpiling Dry Goods.


*When I wasn't doing that, I was downstairs talking with Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk about Zombie Survival Strategies.


*Neither of them wanted to talk about my cold, so that kind of limited the range of topics...


*Funny thing about being up at 2:00.  You get to see stuff.


*I know that it is the Very Complicated Kitty who is tearing up the wallpaper.


*I know this for two reasons.


*First, before he came...I had intact wallpaper.


*Second, I have seen him do it.


*But last night, I was able to witness a certain Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty taking a strip down for his general amusement.


*They are a team.  


*Not my team.  But a team, nonetheless.


*I did not bring my knitting with me last night.  


*Also didn't knit today after I got home because I felt that this would take valuable time away from my scheduled moaning, sniffling and whimpering.

*Best Conversation Of The Day:

Ms. Sheep (to the Cheerful Teaching Assistant)  ...so that brings us to the present.  Do you have any questions?  Have I covered the progression of my cold symptoms in enough detail or would you like me to go back and paint a more vivid picture for you?  It's no trouble.  I have the time.

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  Er...

(the boy who is) Dark & Disturbed:  (ambling into the classroom and presenting his tardy slip):  Hey.  I'm here.  Sorry I'm late.  I think I have a cold.  I'm kind of sneezing and...

MS:  Oh, no you don't, Mister!!!  This is MY moment.  I am the sickly one.  You just get started on your Language Arts worksheet and don't bother the grown-ups.  I am about to describe in exacting detail how I plan to begin nasal irrigation later today and I don't think anyone wants to miss that.

(The CTA assumes an expression that is a cross between mild horror and sad resignation.  However, as Ms. Sheep is essentially her boss, she says nothing.)

D&D:  Sorry.  I was just saying that I had a cold...

MS:  Enough!  You are always saying you're sick and I never get to be the sick one.  You list symptoms every single day and we have to listen patiently.  It's not fair!!!

D&D:  I'm a Type I Diabetic.

MS:  Well....yeah.  I guess there's that.


*Fortunately, D&D, for all his goth tendencies, is a kind-hearted boy with a deep appreciation for patently absurd conversations.  


*And a genuine affection for his sickly, whining teacher.


*The CTA was pleased to hear that I'd finished Switched (Trylle Trilogy, Book 1).


*But is anxious for me to get cracking on Torn (Trylle Trilogy, Book 2).


*I'm almost done.  Soon, I shall be immersed in Ascend (Trylle Trilogy, #3).


*Then my teaching assistant can finally have someone with whom to discuss these books.


*The wait is killing her and I need to get a move on before she gives away the entire plot line.


*This is proving difficult because I found another series and it is sort of difficult to not get seduced away.


*The Devil You Know (Felix Castor)


*Great fun with a side of creepy.


*Opening Lines:

"Normally, I wear a czarist army greatcoat-the kind that sometimes gets called a paletot-with pockets sewn in for my tin whistle, my notebook, a dagger and a chalice.  Today I'd gone for a green tuxedo with a fake wilting flower in the buttonhole, pink patent-leather shoes, and a painted-on mustache in the style of Groucho Marx.  From Bunhill Fields in the east, I rode out across London-the place of my strength.  I have to admit, though, that  "strong" wasn't exactly how I was feeling; when you look like a pistachio-ice-cream sundae, it's no easy thing to hang tough."

*That.  Is.  Awesome.


*As is the rest of the book.  But I feel badly.  Sort of like I cheated on the CTA...


*To make matters worse, The Dark and Hollow Places. Carrie Ryan is waving warmly at me from the online bookstore.


*But, for the CTA, I shall stay the course. No more side trips.  Besides, I'm sort of curious to see how things work out for Princess Wendy and the trolls...


*No naps, cats or reading tomorrow, though.  Gotta go back to school and see what's left of the place after a day without me.


Well, I see by the clock on the wall and the growing pile of tissues at my feet that it is time for a dose of cold medications.  I might even treat myself to the Sleepy Kind.  You know...just as a little gift for the cold that keeps on giving.  Meanwhile, I trust that you all are having a pleasant Wednesday and are free from any viral complications.  If you need me, I'll just be here on the couch thinking healthy thoughts.

And resting.

SA

The S-List

I have decided to compile a list.  I am cranky and I think that this will be very therapeutic.  It might even save a life because getting the grumps out has been proven to stop people from doing things they might later regret.  So, to that end, here it is.

Sheepish Annie's Stoopid List:

#1.  Winter

Winter is so stoopid it doesn't know that its reign of terror is over.  Winter should cut its losses and get out of here before everyone starts to realize how utterly and insanely stoopid it is.  But does Winter do this?  No.  Winter does not.  Winter shows up on a Monday afternoon and starts dumping snow on us like crazy. It's not even sticking, for crying out loud!  It's just blowing all over the place and getting in my eyes and I hate it but not as much as I hate Winter for being so stoopid!!!

 It's over, Winter!  Move on!!!


#2.  The Common Cold

Actually, I'm not targeting every cold.  Just the one that seems to think it is better than everyone else.  I've had a few colds this season.  The sniffles and snuffles start in and try to insinuate themselves into my otherwise happy-go-lucky existence.  It doesn't last long, though.

After a fashion, the cold runs up against my Flu Shot.  Soon it comes to the conclusion that I am now immortal and slinks off like a good cold should.  I've yet to succumb.  My Flu Shot has rendered me impervious.  I told my doctor about this and she didn't say I was wrong so I know I am right.

But this cold isn't playing by the rules.  At first I thought it was a Super Smart Cold that was lying in wait while all the Little Colds With No Self Esteem ran their courses and made me tired.  But now I think it is just stoopid.  It can't seem to process what its brethren figured out in a matter of days and keeps tickling my nostrils.  I'm fairly certain that my Flu Shot is laughing at it, but I can't really tell because it is hard to hear over the sounds of my own sneezes.

I will be very glad when this so totally stoopid cold gets with the program and goes away like a good virus should when faced with the god-like powers I now possess thanks to my Flu Shot....


#3.  Meetings

Most meetings are extremely stoopid.  The worst kind, however, are the ones that fall on a Monday morning and force me to spend my weekend typing up notes in case things go horribly awry.  The stoopidest part of it is that I know perfectly well that the notes probably won't be required.  Unless, of course, I don't do them.  Then they will be the most essential words ever transcribed in the history of meeting notes.  Hence, I must spend my Sunday typing my fingers down to the nub to ward off the stoopid before it catches me right between the eyes.

When you combine a stoopid cold with the need to have notes for a stoopid meeting on a stoopid Monday morning, you have the perfect storm.  The stoopid will rise up in a great wave and crash over you, drowning you before you can so much as cry out for help.

No.  My notes never so much as left my folder, in case you were wondering.  I did a Spell-Check and everything.  They were not needed.


#4.  Me.  I Am Stoopid.

For some reason, and I don't recall just when I first got to thinking this, I believed I was in charge around here.  I thought that my status as wage-earner and wielder of opposable thumbs gave me some kind of a leg up in the pecking order.

I do not.  I am just some chump who wanders around the place for the general amusement of the feline residents.

The Very Complicated Kitty has been giving me a hard time about eating his morning food.  Normally, I'd just say, "Oh well!  No harm, no foul.  You eat it when you're ready, sweet boy!"  But he needs to eat his food because that is where I hide his pill.  He needs the pill to retain a sense of calm in his otherwise stress-filled existence.  Furthermore, he needs to get the pill into him before his brother, the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty, swoops in for a nosh.  I don't have time to mess around with this, especially on a weekday morning.  So, yesterday, when the VCK pulled his little power-play stunt, I took his food away.  No more.  I delivered a lengthy lecture on the subject of who runs this place and how things were going to change around here.  Then I went about my day.

As did the VCK.

How is it that I thought there would be no retribution?  How could I have not predicted his nibbling on everything of a non-edible nature he could find until the next feeding time rolled around?  How did I ever let myself believe that a strand of working sock yarn wouldn't be chewed in half as part of the ongoing assault on my faulty belief system?

I'll tell you how.  I'm stoopid, that's how.  Too stoopid to be allowed amongst the smarter folk.  I'm the sort of person who tucks my skirt into my pantyhose and dances merrily through my day, believing that all the stares and smiles are because I am so totally awesome.

My punishment for this is having to tie the sodden, slimy strands together.  It is a patterned sock yarn and I can't find the repeat.  Well...maybe I could.  But I don't trust myself to do this because of the stoopidity.



You know something?  It is as I thought.  I do feel better after writing down my list!  The stoopid stuff is all still pretty much stoopid, but venting seems to take some of the pressure off.  This is a good thing.  Mental health is extremely important, you know.

Especially given that tomorrow night is the second round of Parent/Teacher Conferences and I have to sit there for four hours with no one to talk to except for my cold...

SA

TNBP: Just Think Wednesday Thoughts...

Oh, my dears!  Sheepie is so sorry!!!  I had all good intentions of getting the Wednesday Night Bullet Post out in a timely fashion, but things just sort of got away from me.  I have no excuse.  It was Parent/Teacher Conference night and I had nothing scheduled from 11:30 in the morning until 8:00 that evening.  Time was on my side as was ample bandwidth.  I just got sidetracked and, before I knew it, Mr. Principal was calling "time" on the whole business.  Once I'd made my weary way home, I just didn't have it in me anymore.  I went to bed.

Let's see if I can make up for the whole sorry business with some Thursday Night Bullet Points...

*This has been a long week.


*Today was the kind of day where a girl is glad she invested in extra boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.


*Massive kerfuffle at The Convenience Store Where They Call You Honey And Sweetie And You Don't Really Mind That So Much.


*I needed gas, but the pumps were broken.  No one knew that until I, the first customer of the day, arrived, paid for my gas and found there was none to be had.


*Got gas elsewhere and graciously accepted my twenty dollar credit at TCSWTCYHASAYDRMTSM.


*They like me over there.  They say I have a Very Positive Attitude.


*I was late to school on Monday, but it's worth it to be known as a Happy Little Ray Of Sunshine under such dire circumstances.


*I brought lots of stuff with me last night.  I knew I'd probably need entertaining during the long hours ahead of me in the classroom.


*Book.  Knitting.  Ipod.


*Used none of it.  Sort of had my Working Vibe goin' on.


*Got a lot of very teacherly things done.


*Poor sock sat in the bag all night.  I think I might have heard it crying at one point, but what are you gonna do?  


*This is my busy season at work.  Probably better to keep up with all the paperwork...


*Cats were very unhappy with the schedule on Parent/Teacher Conference Night.


*Like many, they do not understand why I have to be there when I don't have conferences.


*Nor do they care that these extra hours are what allows me to take the time off during Thanksgiving break and whatnot.


*Late feeding times do not make for empathy and an appreciation for the work ethic.


*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant has been after me to start reading these books she found.


*To appease her, I downloaded Switched (Trylle Trilogy, Book 1).


*Same person who wrote Hollowland [Paperback].


*But I couldn't start it until I finished Tracking the Tempest (Jane True) 


*And Tempest's Legacy (Jane True)


*The CTA grew impatient because Amanda Hocking's writing style does something to her psyche.


*She mulls, ponders and frets over what she's read.


*She wants to discuss it and I am useless until I have read the books.


*Finally got a start on the first in the Trylle Trilogy the other day and I can see the CTA's stress level starting to abate.


*She admits she might have a problem, but shows little desire to address the matter.


*I get that...


*Best Conversation Of The Week:

(Ms. Sheep and The Cheerful Teaching Assistant are chatting.  A Student Who Shall Remain Utterly Unidentified can be heard shuffling from Ms. Sheep's office, where he has been playing on his laptop.)

SWSRUU:  (gasping) Er...Ms. Sheep?

Ms. Sheep:  (grumpily)  I think we have had several conversations about interrupting others, haven't we?

SWSRUU:  (collapsing in a chair)  But it's an emergency!

MS:  Fine.  What is it?

SWSRUU:  Um...it feels like I just got hit hard in a very Pacific place.

(It takes Ms. Sheep a moment, but she eventually dials in to the lad's current and very delicate status.)  

MS:  Um...Okay.  Let's go with that.  You've been hit in the Pacific.  Why don't I just help you down to the nurse?


*I took the student for a hobble down to visit with the nurse, periodically having to admonish him about the incessant moaning.  


*Bad luck for him that he had to wait in line with several girls before the nurse showed up...


*He ended up going home so I guess the Pacific took a bit of a hit.  No idea just what happened.


*And he's not talking...


*Other Best Conversation Of The Week:

(the boy who is) Dark & Disturbed:  I have standards when it comes to the ladies, but I'm not all about looks.  I don't mind a frog.

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  Did you just say, "frog???"

D&D:  Well, yeah.  You know what I mean.  Looks aren't everything.

CTA:  But...frog???

D&D:  I'm above looks.  But it has to be a certain type of frog.  Maybe something like a Geek Frog.  They're usually pretty cool.

Ms. Sheep:  You know, you talk a lot about your frogs and your standards and whatnot.  But that's all in theory.  I saw you with an actual girl in the hall the other day and, because I'm just that sort of teacher, I had to mention that to you.  You blushed for an hour and half and it wasn't even your "frog."  It was your friend's "frog!"

D&D:  (voice rising and color deepening)  OMIGOD!  I told you not to talk about that again.  YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ME A NOSEBLEED!!!!!!!




*He was lying about the nosebleed.  I never saw so much as a drop of blood.


*Spunky Girl, on the other hand, managed to get that loose tooth out and that bled quite a bit.


*She talked about the loose tooth for three days.


*Today she talked about the missing tooth all day.


*Suffice it to say that, between yesterday's early dismissal and all the ridiculous happenings going on in the classroom, there hasn't been much in the way of book learnin' this week...


There.  That's all I've got.  I hope it is enough to cover the fact that I missed yesterday's post.  If nothing else, it should serve to demonstrate that I have not been idle in my absence.  I am going to call this one "done" and see about getting ready for Friday.  I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a long week and that I'm sad to see the end of it.

On the other hand, I don't quite know what I'll do with all the peace and quiet.  Without bloodshed, angst and trouble in the Pacific, I might get a little bored...

SA

Kids Will Get In Your Hair

The Time:  1:30, Friday Afternoon

The Place:  Ms. Sheep's classroom, where all have gathered to stare at the clock in the hopes that it will move just a little bit faster

The Situation:  Ms. Sheep is sitting stock still, eyes bulging and teeth gritted.  She is frantically casting about to get the attention of anyone who might rescue her.  Her posture is no different than that of any other helpless victim who is trying to get someone to notice that she has a bomb strapped to her chest before she goes ker-plooey.

Ms. Sheep:  (speaking without moving her lips lest she make the situation any worse):  Help. Me. Kid. Sniffing. My. Head. For. The. Love. Of. God....heeeeellllp.....meeeeeee!

The Boy For Whom All The World's A Stage:  I can't help it!  Just hold still!  It smells so good!!!!!

MS:  Either help me or kill me.  I don't care which.

TBFWATWAS:  I have to know!  What do you use?  (takes another deep sniff and sighs happily)

MS:  (resigned to the fact that everyone is too tired to care about her plight) Er...

TBFWATWAS:  What?!  Tell me!!!

MS:  Well...

TBFWATWAS:  (relinquishing his teacher's head so he can stand in front of Ms. Sheep and bellow into her face)  WHAT IS IT??????

MS:  Will you be quiet for a second?  I'm trying to explain!!

TBFWATWAS collapses into a nearby chair, exhausted but still maintaining a look of urgent expectation.  Sort of a cross between "day before birthday" and "where is the bathroom?"

MS:  It's not a store-bought thing.  I make it.  It doesn't have like...a brand name or anything.  I just buy unscented liquid castille soap that they make for babies and add my own scent to it.

TBFWATWAS:  Huh?  You do?  How?

MS:  Some people use essential oils or make their own scented water with flowers and herbs.  But I just use the candle and soap fragrances from the craft store.  

TBFWATWAS:  That doesn't make your hair all goopy?

MS:  No.  You just use a few drops.  I am a fragile flower with delicate skin and whatnot.  I can't use a lot of fragrance.

By now everyone was looking at me with expressions that said, "Ms. Sheep has waaaay too much time on her hands..."  Except for one, that is.  TBFWATWAS seemed to appreciate the information and probably wanted to know more.  However, his nostrils were also starting to flare somewhat alarmingly so I thought it was a good time to drop the matter and see about getting everyone ready for dismissal.  They didn't need to hear the entire saga.

...like how this winter has been pretty tough on my hands and has caused drying, cracking and bleeding.

...or how my ragged skin was catching on the sock yarn in a manner that was less than helpful to the process, not to mention the aforementioned bleeding problem.

...and that, being "real" soap, it is mild enough to be used as not just a hand wash, but as a shampoo, face and body wash.

...Unlike regular detergent-based cleansers which have not been kind to me over the years.

...and that, even though I gasped at the price of those two big bottles at first, the stuff can be used for just about anything.

...or how it ended up being cheaper in the long run because it rinses cleanly and works as a general, all-purpose cleaner for anything from dishes to floors to hand-wash-only sweaters.

I'm fairly certain that TBFWATWAS would have found that pretty darned fascinating, actually.  This is the kid who didn't like the very expensive vacuum cleaner his mother purchased and went out to buy one for his own use.  He also buys his own cleaning products and has the most well-stocked first aid kit in his backpack that I've ever seen.  Yeah.  He would have probably missed his bus for the chance to hear all about the castille soap situation.

But I didn't dare chance it.  We'd crossed enough boundaries for one day and I think it's good for kids to take their own journeys of discovery.  I'm happy with how mine worked out for me.

I'm rethinking the fragrance thing, though.  I don't think I can take another afternoon spent with a kid's nose in my head.  I'm going to look for something different.

Maybe something in a "homework scent..."

SA

WNBP: Spring Is In The Air

Ah...March!  It always amazes me how I can have a week off in February and so completely lose track of time.  When school starts back up, I leave the house in broad daylight instead of pitch blackness and I suddenly start thinking that spring might just make it to my corner of the world after all.

The downside is that it is not spring yet and no one really has any patience left for this winter nonsense.  I think that it is worse to have to suffer through this particular time of year with middle school students.  Suffice it to say, it has been a long stretch since those halcyon days of winter break.

I'm just going to use the Wednesday Night Bullet Post to work through it all.


*I am seriously not going to make it another four months with these kids.  It is them or me.


*What am I saying?  I know perfectly well how this is going to play out.


*It is them.


*They have youth and sheer numbers on their side.  I am but one old, tired woman...


*The Very Complicated Kitty has decided to take a break from wallpaper removal.


*He's back to removing the molding from around the bedroom door.


*Serves two purposes.


*One: Redecorating.


*Two: Making me get up at the crack of dawn because this results in food and his general amusement.


*Students have their uses.


*Spunky Girl's sister is a Girl Scout.


*The kind who sells cookies once a year.


*Spunky Girl arrived at school yesterday laden with bags.


*Filled with cookies.


*My order plus all the ones that she got when I took her cute little face all over the school and guilted my colleagues into buying.


*I am eating too many cookies now.


*I may have gotten a little over-enthusiastic when I saw the cookie form...


*Cookies are keeping me from sock knitting.


*Hey, it's almost spring.  How many socks do I really need?


*Cookies are for all seasons.


*The Future Farmer came back from lunch today blushing, stuttering and sweating.


*Girl punched him repeatedly.  Then asked him to sit with her and her friends.  Who giggled at him for fifteen minutes.


*In addition to the whole spring-thing, Love is also in the air...

*Best Conversation Of The Day:

*Future Farmer:  She's in my gym class!  What am I gonna do?  Am I supposed to talk to her?  Omigod, I can't feel my feet!!!

*Ms. Sheep:  Calm down.  We'll get you through this.  Just breathe...

*(the boy who is) Dark & Disturbed:  (kneeling down so he is eye level with the hyperventilating younger boy):  It's OK, little feller.  Relax.  The Love Doctor is here.

*MS:  The Love...oh for crying out loud!!!  You never leave the classroom.  You just sit there predicting the end of days!

D&D:  Hey!  I am TOO the Love Doctor!  Just the other day, this clerk at the store asked if I was 18.  I'm a chick magnet!

MS:  I'm feeling very dizzy right now.  And you are 14.  I am going to start putting up posters to that effect immediately.  Then I'm calling your mother.  And any state agency who will take my call.

D&D:  (waving off the threat dismissively):  Look, little dude.  Here's what you do.  Quote the Bible.

(silence and puzzled looks all around)

D&D:  I'm serious.  It makes you sound wicked smart.

MS:  Wha.....???

D&D marched to the front of the classroom and for the next minute proceeded to pace and gesture dramatically whilst quoting scripture as if born into the pulpit.  There was nary a closed mouth nor a dry eye in the house.  He finished and there was silence, broken only when Ms. Sheep finally dared to speak.

MS:  Wow.  That sounded...wicked smart.  I am not sure about that saucy wink at the end, though.

D&D:  Too creepy?  I kind of thought it might be too creepy, but the ladies seem to like it...

MS:  Just so you know, they do not cover this in any college class I ever took.


*It might help you to know that D&D owns an extensive collection of Japanese fighting swords, writes his own manga and will only break up his black wardrobe with festive touches of gray.


*He's kind of a Renaissance Man, I guess...


*I've been reading a lot of really good books lately.


*Well-written books.  With finely crafted sentences and imagery so sharp you could cut your finger on the page.


*I think I may have lost my ability to appreciate a "fun read."


*Too much fillet Mignon and you can't see the beauty in a simple burger, I suppose.


*I think that's why I had a hard time getting into Tempest Rising (Jane True).


*This is the sort of book whose advertising has something along the lines of "If you like Sookie Stackhouse..."  in the wording somewhere.


*I like the Southern Vampires series.  Honest, I do!


*But, after finishing The Darkly Luminous Fight for Persephone Parker it was kind of jarring to read something so contemporary and not so much with the "literary."


*But I am a simple girl with simple roots and a love of hamburgers so I stayed the course!


*Everyone needs a fun read every now and again, right?


*I'm so determined to get back to the fun that I also picked up the sequel, Tracking the Tempest (Jane True).


*This isn't the best series I've read, but it is a nice quick fix when everything else you want to read has yet to hit the shelves.  


*And it's fun.


*Heads up:  I read a few online reviews for this one and several people commented that they mistakenly got this for their young teen readers.  The cover art does make it look like a YA/Middle Grade book, after all.


*Ignore the Bratz Doll image.  This is not a novel for your impressionable offspring.  Adults only, dear friends.


*Spring may be in the air and cafeteria romance on the rise, but let's not rush things here!



I see by the clock on the wall and the gathering of starving felines at my feet that it is time to move on.  I'll need to get an outfit suitable for work tomorrow if I want to keep paying for the foodstuffs these two seem to be demanding.  Spring fever and the brightening of our mornings is no excuse for altering the schedule, after all.

Maybe if I don my best black sweatshirt and start reading from the Bible, they'll be impressed enough to stop yowling.  I'm not doing the wink, though...

SA

A Matter Of Taste

There really is no accounting for taste.  Nor is there any way to get around the fact that we all have our own opinions regarding what "works" and what "so totally doesn't."

I see handknits proudly displayed and worn that don't quite fit my own personal taste.  I often hear people rave over meals that leave me feeling nothing but an overwhelming urge to go get a pizza. I don't love every pair of shoes I see on the feet of my friends and colleagues.  On the flip side, I'm pretty sure that there are people out there who are saying the same thing about my stuff right at this very moment.

Sometimes "taste" can even fool you.  I came into my classroom today only to hear The Boy For Whom All The World's A Stage belting out "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones.  I fairly clapped my hands to my bosom in shocked delight!

"I must be a truly amazing educator to have so influenced this lad's musical ear," I thought to myself.  "Why, he is now crooning one of my absolute favoritest songs ever! And I never even so much as mentioned it, let alone taught a Music Appreciation class!!!"

It turns out that I was less of a fabulous teacher and more of an irresponsible cell phone owner.  While I was downstairs helping to supervise a student in gym class, my phone's distinctive ring tone could be heard emanating from my office.  It was a near thing for TBFWATWAS since the Cheerful Teaching Assistant thought it was his phone and nearly took away this only link to the outside world that he isn't supposed to have in class.  The situation was resolved by everyone standing in my office with their ears cocked towards my purse.  Education as we know it ground to a halt thanks to my inability to remember to hit the "off" button.

By the time I got back, the poor boy was recovered from his near-trauma but now unable to get the song out of his head.  Maybe I influenced his taste after all...

Thankfully, the purse everyone was staring at is a cute one.  I don't much think about style when it comes to other stuff, though.  Interiors, for example, I barely think about at all.  Furniture is for setting things on.  Walls are for keeping out the zombie hordes and propping up the clutter.  I don't agonize over paint chips and I have never once wondered if my space is a "reflection" of anything.  But when you have roommates, you sometimes have to live with a conflict of opinions when it comes to decoration.

The Very Complicated Kitty has taken an active dislike to the wallpaper in the living room.  A very active dislike.  A dislike so intense that it has inspired him to remove it three square inches at a time.  I wake in the middle of the night to subtle tearing sounds.  When I stumble out in the morning, I shuffle through drifts of paper scraps.  Most of his work is near the baseboards, but I am now finding little swipes taken at heights which are well above the reach of the average feline.  Apparently, his hatred of the wallpaper has escalated and we are now in full-on worker mode with or without the usual tools of the trade.

HEY!!!  Teh union rules sez I gets a stepladder and a thirty minute lunch!!!

I suppose this isn't exactly the sort of thing I should be tolerating.  Cats who tear up the wallpaper are generally thought of as "bad cats."  But I've put a great deal of time and energy into reprogramming this train wreck of a beast and I'm really just too tired to care at this point.  Besides, it's not like my attention to decorating detail is so keen that I took care of the places where the paper was coming up in the first place.  He's not really wrong in his decision to deal with the situation.  It is something that needed doing and if the VCK wants to do it, more power to him.  One less thing for me to worry about.

What does concern me is how his Absurdly Gi-normous brother has started picking at the carpets.  I am willing to paint, but I am so totally NOT putting down new carpets.  I don't care what it says about my taste in home furnishings or if the resident felines think we need a new color palette.

I'll just grab my purse and let it play some Ramones.  That'll drown out any further commentary...

SA