Wednesday, December 28, 2011

WNBP: Where We Left Off...

When last we left our intrepid Sheepie, she was suffering from the world's worst cold ever in the history of viral infections, had been strongly advised to take a pass on the two days of teacher workshops and the holidays were looming.

Did Sheepie take the days off when they were kindly offered?  Has she been lost in a pile of used tissues and has she been missed yet?  Did she make it to Christmas dinner with wrapped presents in hand?  Did she have enough of a voice to cry out, "God bless us, every one?"

These questions and many others will be answered in this week's installment of The Wednesday Night Bullet Post!!

*I did, in fact, take both workshop days off as my director instructed.

*I thought about going in for the Friday session, but I was still blowing solid matter from my nostrils so it seemed like a bad idea.

*Plus there was some "weather" going on.  Not much, but enough to justify staying home in bed.

*I'm feeling much better now.

*My voice is back and I hardly blew my nose at all whilst wrapping Christmas presents.

*I did not cry out God bless us every one at any point during Christmas dinner, but I could have should I so desired.

*Still sneezing every now and again and I'm tired beyond all reason, but that is about it.

*Finally realized what a toll the whole thing took on me when I went to a post holiday sale and forgot my purse in the Walmart parking lot.

*The parking lot!  Like...right there in the cart!

*How does one forget one's purse in the cart?????

*I mean, I can see leaving it in a dressing room or on the roof of the car.

*I'm not saying I've done that or anything.  I'm just saying it seems like something someone MIGHT do, is all...

*I got my purse back, thankfully.  But I'd driven all the way home before I realized that it was sitting in the Walmart parking lot.

*I used a gift certificate from my parents to go out and buy a couple of new purses.

*The kind with a long strap that you can hang across your shoulder and never take off.  You can even sleep whilst wearing your purse.

*That way you will never leave it in the Walmart parking lot.

*One of my greatest joys in life is visiting with people who have young children and gifting their offspring with the loudest toys I can find.

*I stay long enough to teach the little bundles of joy how to use the new device and spend some quality time observing just how much noise it can make.

*Then I go home.

*That is a very mean thing to do, but I can't help myself.  It is my only vice.

*Karma came to visit for Christmas this year.  Mommy Sheep gave Da Boyz a new cat cave.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty loves cat caves.  They are his favorite thing.  And the new one is no exception.

*Love, love, love!!!

*But it is the crinkly kind.  Sometimes I hear it rustling and that is OK.

*However, the AGK has learned that if you hit it juuuuust right and with juuuuust enough force...

*You can make it go, "BAP!!!!!"

*"BAP!!!!!" is the loudest noise in the history of forever.  It is even louder at 2:30 in the morning or when you are settling in for a nice afternoon nap because you are tired from the 2:30, "BAP!!!"

*I'd take it away, but I'm feeling like this is the universe's way of paying me back for all the drum sets I've bought for kids that aren't mine over the years.

I also don't really have the heart...

*He doesn't always make it go "BAP!!!!", after all.

*Is it weird that one of my most favoritest Christmas gifts is a kitchen scrubby brush shaped like a skull?

*It seems kind of weird to me, but what do I know?  I do know that I've been scrubbing stuff in the kitchen with it and that is kind of weird...

*I'm not really much of a scrubber.

*Now that the holiday is behind me, I can get down to the business of vacationing in earnest.  I got the napping thing down pretty good today.

*I thought about scrubbing something but figured I'd done enough of that for a while.  The skull seemed kind of sad about it.

*I've also gotten in some really good reading time.

*I kicked some serious book butt with the Elemental Assassin series.

*If you recall, I started with Spider's Bite (Elemental Assassin, Book 1)

*Worked my way through everything up to Spider's Revenge (Elemental Assassin Books)

*Lots and lots of virtual pages were flipped in between sneezing and wrapping and the big, loud BAPs!!

*As so often happens, I was at a loss after that.  So I went back to an author I knew I liked.

*Ended up with Skin Deep (Laura Blackstone, Book 1)

*Quite good.  Not a favorite, but quite good.

*Enough that I picked up the sequel.

*Face Off (Laura Blackstone, Book 2)

*I generally don't like to read the things that other people are reading.

*The very idea that I am part of the masses is just painful for me.

*But I'm starting to think it might be time to break down and read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Movie Tie-in Edition) (Vintage Crime/Black Lizard)

*It seems like the right thing to do.

*Plus I've got the time right now what with being on vacation and all...

*And I don't want to resort to scrubbing again.

*And there is every reason to believe that I will be awoken by a hearty, "BAP!" tonight anyway.

*Before I go, I want to wish Daddy Sheep a good night while he recovers from today's procedure.

*We'll be very, very glad to have you back home tomorrow, Dad.  I'm glad it went well for you today.

*Meanwhile, rest up and enjoy all that nice jello!

I think that catches you up.  I'm recovered from the horrific cold, tired enough from the whole experience to forget my purse in weird places and the Christmas Cat Cave is louder than anything I've ever heard in my life.  Now I'm going to head into the kitchen to see about rustling up some dinner.  I'm thinking hot dogs.  The pan I like to cook them in is dirty, but that's OK.  I can scrub it.  I have a scrubber.  And the time.

It's vacation, after all.


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

WNBP: You've Been Trapped.

I'm certain that, by now, there are very few people out there who wish to continue hearing about my sickly state of being.  That's fair.  I understand.  Frankly, I'm getting pretty sick of the sick myself, but I don't have the luxury of ignoring my texts or faking a seizure whenever I see me.  I sort of have to live with it and just keep trying to snare innocent passersby into conversation so I can whine about my affliction.

Like with Wednesday Night Bullet Posts and such...

*Da Boyz are thrilled with the current state of affairs.  They like that the bed is piled high with extra blankets and that one of them is of the electric variety.

*Between all that extra bedding and the huddled feline bodies, I'm rather snug 'n cozy when I go to bed.

*Of course, when I wake up at midnight with the hacking and wheezing, I am generally sweating to the point of electrocuting myself with the electric blanket, but that is sometimes the price you have to pay.

*I've been going to school for a week with this hideous nasal affliction.  

*No choice.  Other staff people have needed to take sick days and the kids are not doing well.  Not well at all.

*Today was the last day of school for the students.

*Teachers have two days of mandatory workshops.

*They call it The Winter Forum and there are usually ice sculptures involved.

*This makes us feel special because ice sculptures from the Culinary Arts class looming outside the high school doors are really quite distracting.

*Until you get inside and are trapped in your respective workshops and realize that you have been duped into entering the building by the shiny, sparkly things.

*It would be easy to try to get out of the workshops.  Many have tried, but The Very Big Bosses take workshops seriously.  We don't have many whole district training days.  The Very Big Bosses take it personally when people try to get a few extra vacation days in by skipping workshops.

*I have been mentally preparing myself for the sparkly ice sculptures and how I might sneeze upon them without getting caught.

*I have several Bosses Of Me.  They are generally of differing minds and I often get confused as to which one is handing me the best possible direction in any given situation.

*Today my director (sort of an off-site boss) came in to the classroom to visit.  She said three things.

*Well...four things.  The first thing she said upon seeing me was, "Oh my..."

*Understandable.  Lots of people say that to me these days.

*The second thing she said was, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a nice vacation in case I didn't see you."

*The third thing she said was, "I'm sorry you missed our meeting today but your colleagues picked out an ornament for you from the basket I brought.  You know, it is kind of a bad sign when they say they have to find the one that doesn't have any sharp edges."

*Then she had to say, "bless you," because I sort of sneezed in her face a little bit but she was very gracious about it.  I'm not counting that as part of what she said because I don't think it is the most important thing.

*The fourth thing she said was the Most Important Thing.  That went like this:

"I have never done this in my time with this district, but I am doing it now.  You are not coming to the teacher workshops.  There is nothing in these workshops that is so important as to drag you in for them.  You are staying home."

*I'm glad to be given a pass so I can wallow in my snotty state at home in peace, but I was a little disappointed to know that the four hours of sleep I scored last night didn't take.

*I'm guessing I didn't look so good today.

*Also haven't had a voice of any real strength since last Friday.

*Any thoughts on who might have clawed through half a roll of toilet paper while I was at work today?

*I'm pretty sure I've narrowed down my suspect list to two.

*Both feline.

*But I still feel like I should ask for your thoughts on the matter since I can't help but feel that I am engaging in Species Profiling.

*It seems kind of wrong to do that...

*The Kobo app on my iPad is kind of a disaster, but I've still managed to get some reading done.

*I finished Hammered (The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Three), thus catching up with all that's going on in the world of the druids.

*Then I downloaded a copy of Spider's Bite (Elemental Assassin, Book 1).

*That's another one that kept coming up as a recommendation whenever I browsed books so I figured it was fated.

*Or something like that.

*Wouldn't think I'd find an assassin to be a sympathetic character, but Gin really is.  In her way.

*Plus, it is nice when a book doesn't feel the need for a lot of set up.  This is the world we are in, this is the way it goes, now play along!  You'll catch up soon enough!  

*That's what I like!

*Now I'm working on Web of Lies (Elemental Assassin, Book 2).

*Still good.  

*Plus there are quite a few of these so I should be able to keep myself entertained for at least a part of school vacation.

*I hadn't planned on the two extra days, of course.  But I'm not complaining.  I'll find a way to make it work.

*The plan for now is to hide under five million pounds of bedding and sneeze with wild abandon until the evil virus is expelled.

*Or at least until my nose is a little less scarlet...

I think that does it for tonight.  Unless, of course, you want to hear more about how utterly delightful I look right now.  Yeah...that's what I thought.  You'd like to wriggle free of my trap and run as far away as you can lest the sickness envelope you, too.  I don't blame you one little bit.  Consider yourself freed.

For now.  I can't promise what will happen tomorrow once I've managed to get a little rest.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

WNBP: Watching The Attitude.

I am unwell.  I want to get that out of the way straight off because, in my opinion, the entire world will soon be coming to a screeching halt.  It will then proceed to revolve around a newer and far more appropriate target:


I am something of a baby when I don't feel well.  I should probably also apologize for the statements I shall be making and the attitude I shall likely display.  I will be glad of it later when I realize how badly I've behaved.  With that, let's hit them Wednesday Night Bullet Points!!!

*I am glad to be communicating via keyboard.  That is about all I am good for right now.

*I am sick.

*I was not sick yesterday.  At least not until 8:37 pm.

*Then I was sick.  It was just that fast.

*Now my throat is very, very sore and my joints feel like tiny, angry little elves are hammering away at them as punishment for something I may or may not have done to slight them.

*Tiny, imaginary elves often have issues...

*The students in my class do not care that I am sickly.  Most of them are also sickly.

*As is The Organized Teaching Assistant.

*And The Cheerful Teaching Assistant.

*The ones that aren't sickly are just, plain grumpy these days because the holidays aren't always what the television commercials imply they should be.

*My throat hurts and I wanted to tell everyone about the world revolving around me, but I couldn't talk loudly enough to be heard and no one wanted to read what I was typing.

*The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach suggested that I needed to eat dinner with her.

*She is not the sort of person with whom you argue about things like dinner.

*Nor do I want to.  I like dinner and I wasn't sickly on Sunday. 

*And she was offering me things like lobster and cheesecake.  So I went.

*Yes.  I tip my hairdresser very well.  Maybe not "lobster" well, but I'm thinking of working my way up to that.

*She ordered a lot of lobster for us.  And sent me home with leftovers.

*No cheesecake was left over, though.

*Which is sad, because I am very hungry right now and cannot swallow.

*Cheesecake would be nice for someone as sickly as myself.

*Did I mention the sickness?  I can't remember if I did...

*I feel like poopy-yucky-ickiness.

*Soup would probably be better for me than cheesecake but I honestly don't think that anyone really checks on that sort of thing.

*I think there is some "weather" in the near future.

*Cats have lost their tiny, freakin' minds and are cavorting about in a way that is not good for a sickly person.

*There is little dignity in running around one's house trying to scream, "SANTA DOES NOT COME TO HOUSES WHERE BAD KITTIES LIVE!!!"

*I say, "trying" because I am too sickly to really get up much of a good scream.

*Could account for the lack of cooperation, now that I think of it.

*And all the refrigerator magnets suddenly being under the Christmas tree...

*I finally decided to read Ghost Story.

*I have no idea if that link will work.  Linking to my Amazon stuff is still not going well and no one seems to care that I am too sickly to be dealing with this nonsense.

*And my internet connection is fuzzy.

*Again with the lack of caring for my sickliness!!!!

*Universe!  I ask you...WHY????

*Where was I?

*Oh, yes.  The book.  I liked it.  It is actually a book where Harry seems kind of happy if you don't focus on the part where he's dead.

*Don't worry.  Happy never lasts for Harry Dresden.

*Which is probably why I haven't read anything from the Dresden Files in a while and cannot really remember just where it was that we left off...

*That isn't helping much with the comprehension, but I still like the book.

*And in the car, I am listening to Enchantment.

*Not one of your more popular Orson Scott Card offerings and I'm not even going to pretend it's my favorite.

*But still pretty good.  Better than listening to the news.

*Especially since they have yet to report on my illness and I'm a bit miffed about it.

*Cats just freaked out and moved the recliner.  Which hit the Christmas tree.

*I don't even care anymore.  I am sick.

*I am making pasta for dinner since I still haven't resolved the cheesecake issue.

*Best line of the day Courtesy of Little Einstein who couldn't quite place the relaxing music we were playing in the classroom today in a futile attempt at settling the seething mass of tension:

"What is noise?"

*Yes.  It was, in fact Yoga Noise.

*It just wasn't quite so soothing once we got to giggling over it.

*Sore throats and all.

I am going to stop there.  I think I have done remarkably well with the attitude and I fear a trip over to the dark side should I carry on much further.  As proof, I point out that I have not yet begun my rant against the person I met today who believes my decision to say, "happy holidays" is somehow proof that I am anti-American, anti-Christmas and a threat to life as we know it unless I am put down immediately.  Apparently all that is good in this world is now threatened by that seemingly simply sentiment and I probably should be thinking about moving out of this great nation before I am driven

Yeah.  I'm just gonna wrap this up before I get to that.  Maybe I'll save it for another day, one where I'm more light of heart and free of germ.  I wish you all a very Happy Wednesday and hope that you are doing better with the lightheartedness than I tonight.


Wednesday, December 07, 2011

WNBP: Where's That Bunny?

My dependence upon the Wednesday Night Bullet Post format seems to be continuing.  As it looks to be the only way I can post anymore, I say let's just go with it!  It's kind of like Tweeting with a singular timestamp, right?

*I stand firm in my contention that this 60 degrees in December nonsense is not helping with my holiday spirit.

*Don't get me wrong.  I'm not looking to freeze solid or anything.

*However, I do not feel that I am being unreasonable when expressing concern.

*Shouldn't I have donned a turtleneck by now?  Or a jaunty scarf?  Maybe even a nice pair of mittens?

*I keep looking for the Easter Bunny...

*Most disturbing interaction of my week thus far:

Ms. Sheep: ...and that, my dear Mr. Assistant Principal, is the latest crisis in my classroom and reason why you should shower me with vacation days.  Or free sticky notes.  I like those, too.

Mr. Assistant Principal:  What?  Oh, I'm sorry.  I wasn't listening.  NO!  You don't need to repeat it.  I'm sure it's nothing I haven't heard before.  Besides, I'm distracted.  I can't seem to find my phone...

MS:  You have an iPhone, right?  Why don't you go look in the iCloud?

MAP:  Pardon?

MS:  It's true!  There is a cloud and it wants to help you find your phone.

MAP:  Is this something for everyone or just something in...your world?

*I then spent ten minutes trying to explain the concept of digital clouds.  I sort of didn't end up looking any less crazy.

*Note to self:  Yelling, "It's a THING!  An actual THING!!!  Stop looking at me like I don't know the difference between pretend THINGS and actual THINGS!!!" is probably not the best strategy under these kinds of circumstances.

*Good news!  I managed to get the tree up for Christmas this year.

Cats have commenced nibbling upon it.

* I didn't put up a tree last year for a variety of reasons.  I almost didn't this year.

*But I am not quite ready to be That Person.  The Kind Who Doesn't Bother With The Tree Anymore.

*I like having a tree up for Christmas.  It's festive and I think the Easter Bunny will like it.

*Might even leave me a nice Cadbury Egg or something...

*I think I might have a hair appointment this weekend, but I'll probably have to cancel it.

*According to my car, we need an oil change.

*The car is often overly anxious about this sort of stuff, but I don't have anything knit for The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach so I should probably give myself some wiggle room anyway.

*Not everyone is celebrating Easter like me right now.  Some people are on a more December-ish holiday track.

*I've had a rough couple of weeks over at the Learn-A-Matorium.

*Last Friday, I was driving home and thinking that I really deserved to pick up one of those nice foot baths I saw on sale while I was meandering about the Internet.  The store was right on the way home.

*And I am a gal with pretty bad feet these days.

*A nice soothing foot bath would be just the thing to ease the aches 'n pains.  Not to mention reward me for sticking with the whole job deal and not sending the students out to play in traffic.

*Perfectly reasonable.

*Hence, you can imagine my shock when I somehow ended up standing in the parking lot of the local electronics store with a brand new iPad in my hand.

*I honestly don't know how that happened.  I do seem to recall talking to a nice young salesman and explaining why I had to have the orange smart cover.

*No one has the orange smart cover.  I am the only person I know who got the orange smart cover.  I am cool and sort of a rebel now that I have an orange smart cover.

*I am very seriously not kidding when I say that this was not my intention when I headed out to buy my discounted foot bath last Friday.

*I also feel very weird about it and haven't told very many people.  It's an extravagance and one I have denied myself for a couple of years now.

*For what it's worth, not a single person to whom I've confessed has suggested that I return it.  All have allowed that it was high time I did something nice for myself.

*Spunky Girl, all of twelve years old, saw me covertly showing it to the Cheerful Teaching Assistant.

*"Ms Sheep!  You finally got it!  You've been saving up for that for a really long time.  You must be very happy now!!"

*SG is right.  I am kind of happy in a weirdly self-conscious sort of way.

*I can read from my Kobo library on the iPad, too.

*For years, whenever I bought a book online, I would get a certain recommendation.

*I did not act on this suggestion because it did not seem like anything I would ever really enjoy.

*Never question the electronically generated recommendations.

* Hounded (Name Your Link) was awesome!

*So much so that I quickly snagged Hexed (Name Your Link)

*BTW:  the whole Name Your Link business is related to Blogger's apparent hatred of Amazon Associate links.  Just click on that and it should work for you.

*I am continuing to find creative ways to work around this bias.

*It entertains me in this holiday season.

*I think the Easter Bunny will be impressed by it, too.

*If it was really December and Santa was coming that might be a different story but Bunnies are less strict about ethical behavior and all.

And that, dear friends, about covers it.  I still don't have a cheap foot bath, but I guess that will have to wait a bit longer.  I'm just going to kick back with the ice packs 'n pain killers while I play on the iPad.

Maybe the Easter Bunny will take care of it...