I'm pretty sure that my entire life can be reduced to a line right now. I'm spending a lot of time waiting for stuff and a great deal of it involves standing in a row with other people who may or may not be as excited about the situation as I. I'm also filling out a whole bunch of paperwork and signing on dotted lines, not to mention trying to toe the line in order that I don't get into trouble for ranting and railing against lines.
Lines are oppressive. They are meant to create order, but I am kind of tired of them. I'm looking forward to doing the Wednesday Night Bullet Post where I can happily meander from topic to topic and where the lines are only there for mocking.
*Today was the Cheerful Teaching Assistant's birthday. She is learning that time marches forward in a somewhat linear fashion and that one's twenties are not an eternal sort of thing.
*Hence, it was really in my best interest to go buy her a cake. A chocolate cake that is in total defiance of any and all dietary restrictions.
*I found a doozy.
*It was the envy of all the ladies on line at the Wal-Mart.
*I know this because they told me so. We discussed this cake in depth.
*Using the wisdom of a cashier, three total strangers and my own input, it was decided that this cake needed to remain in my car for the night.
*None of us believed for one minute that it would last until morning if I brought it into my house.
*Seriously. This cake was like a chick magnet!!!
*They are talking snow soon. Like...really soon.
*Not a lot and it's probably not even going to happen, but it is making me think I should really finish those socks from five or six months ago.
*It's just that I don't want to do the heel. If I could just cross that line, I'd be fine.
*Maybe when my feet get cold enough...
*Although I don't know why I bother. My feet have started to puff up again in response to the last few nights of popcorn snacking.
*Swollen feet are a new phenomenon in my life and I am ill prepared for them. I question whether my bloated hooves will cause my socks to explode in a shower of woolly bits.
*Any thoughts? I'm genuinely curious about it. If I am going to be known forever as She Of The Elephantine Tootsies, I'd like to dress part.
*Even if that means wearing duct tape socks.
*I could also probably just lay off the salty snacks but I don't want to do anything too drastic...
*The book situation has gotten a little off-track lately.
*I was reading some of the D. D. Barant books and thought I'd move on to Killing Rocks (The Bloodhound Files)
*But then I didn't feel like it. I sort of wanted something different.
*Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk (and who also likes a lot of the same stuff I do) mentioned Zone One: A Novel
*So I bought it. It's not bad. A bit over-written for my taste, but a kind of interesting take on the whole Zombie Apocalypse.
*It's fair to say that some people really are going to find their true calling during the coming dark and very stinky days.
*I also started The Kingdom of Fear.
*It's too early to give an opinion on this one, but it's a cheap download. Even if it ends up not being a favorite, I won't cry too hard.
*Oh, I forgot to mention Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim)!
*Or did I do that last week? I can't remember...
*I love this series. Even if this one didn't end the way I wanted.
*I want the poor guy to finally realize that it's not his fault he's a monster and that he doesn't have to be in The Very Bad Place!
*Fair Warning: If you have strong feelings regarding the nature of good and evil, this is not the book for you. You kind of have to be flexible about who is a good guy and who is a bad guy to appreciate The Sandman.
*Most of the series I'm interested in right now aren't boasting anything new and I'm casting my lines far and wide.
*I'll keep you posted!
*And from the classroom...
*The Siren is officially dating The Anti-Bieber.
*They require a great deal of monitoring because I am honestly not interested in being a godparent right now.
*Their love is the stuff of legends. Epic poems will be penned.
*For now, though, they are content with gooey messages left on the last line of a math page.
*Today, I found ILY scrawled on the bottom of the multiplication review paper.
*Best Conversation Of The Day:
Ms. Sheep: Why look at this! Thank you, Anti-Bieber! I had no idea you loved me!!!
MS: It says so right here! " ILY." It's as plain as day. And I'm ever so flattered that you would share your feelings so boldly.
AB: What is happening? I don't understand. And I'm scared.
The Siren: Hee-hee! I wrote ILY on your math page and now Ms. Sheep is giving you crap! This is awesome!!!
(Note: The Siren is, sadly, inflicted with the exact same sense of humor as I. It is not looking good for the AB)
MS: I am sad to tell you AB, that our love can never be. It is wrong. We are ships that pass in the night, dear lad. I can offer you naught but my hand in friendship.
The AB: Please. Make it stop. Please...
MS: (voice rising as she rides the emotional wave of the moment) Take heart, Dear AB! For I promise you that one day the pain you feel shall be a distant memory and that your life will be all the richer for having experienced it! Please do not despair! You shall, in fact, find another! Yes....YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN!!!
*The Siren then spent most of the afternoon harassing her beau about his leaving her for an older woman.
*And yes. I will probably end up on the news for crossing the line, but there is really only so much of the middle school love stuff a woman can take before cracking up.
*I am pretty sure a good lawyer can get me off on an insanity defense.
Yeah. So here I am standing in line on my puffy feet and congratulating myself on not eating an entire chocolate fudge cake before leaving the parking lot. It could be worse. At least I have the support of the Wal-Mart Women.
And The Siren seems to think I'm kind of amusing, as well...
Dateline – Toronto
15 hours ago