2007 is winding down and events are unfolding in the traditional manner over at The Sheep Household. There is Mountain Dew a-plenty in the fridge and any number of marathon-type TV shows waiting to be viewed as the last of the year trickles down the drain. As is expected in this time of transition, Rational Mind and Hysterical Mind are discussing how best to take on the new year. After all, what better time for two halves of the same brain to have a little debate over how to make a better Sheep over the next 365? We enter the scene just as Rational Mind encounters Hysterical Mind busily jotting down resolutions:
Rational Mind: I thought we'd agreed to let go of the whole "resolution thing" after last year. As I recall, it didn't go well.
Hysterical Mind: Those were just for practice. Now that I see the potential pitfalls, I'm feeling pretty good about our ability to kick some Resolution Rear in '08! Take a look!
RM: What did you write this on?
HM: Just some junk that came in the mail. It said something about income tax, but it was for 2007 and the year is over so I'm sure that it's just old stuff. We're all about 2008 now, baby!
RM: Do me a favor and don't throw this away, 'kay? We didn't do very well with the Organization Resolution last year and I have a feeling that we're going to need this fairly soon.
HM: If you say so. But, frankly, I think you are clinging to the past just a bit. Any-hoo...whaddaya think? Some good resolving goin' on there, right?
RM: Let's just see what we have here. You've been busy. There seem to be in excess of 50 resolutions. That's, um..."thorough."
HM: I like to cover all the bases.
RM: Hmm... "Organizing The Stash." Very nice. "Catalogue The Circulars." Unlikely, but I'm a fan of positive thinking. This could work. Although how we will get along without buying size 5 circs every other month, I can't imagine. Oh....
HM: What? Why are you making that frowny face? Don't do that! Our face will freeze that way and it won't be the good kind of freezing like with Botox. We'll look like an angry bulldog and have to have our face sanded down to fix it!
RM: Sorry. I was looking at number 5. I'm just not sure that we really need a bunker.
HM: Really? I can't think of a single reason why we wouldn't need a bunker. Better safe than sorry, that's what I always say!
RM: We live in a second floor condo...
HM: That's an obstacle, I'll grant you. But this is still kind of a work in progress. There are a whole bunch of other form letters from the people who want to tell us about taxes in 2007 so I have lots and lots of paper.
RM: Again, I urge you to hold onto those. When we file our taxes we'll need...oh never mind. Just put them in The Basket That Holds Very Important Papers Dating Back Six Years And Expired Coupons and I'll deal with it later. Now, about this item...
HM: (squinting at her own somewhat illegible handwriting) Oh, yeah! I love that one! We're going to be famous! People will love us for this one!
RM: They are not going to create a new food group that consists solely of black and white cookies. It just isn't going to happen. I don't even know who we'd go about contacting on this one. And, even if we could, I just don't see it. For that matter, no one is going to say that Mountain Dew is a good source of vitamin C either. We can cross that one off, too.
HM: It's yellow.
RM: Let it go. And what's up with this? "Alert The Public To The On-Going Conspiracy To Make The Sheep Feel Fat By Secretly Shrinking Her Clothing While She Sleeps At Night." This just makes us look crazy! We don't exactly need help with that. I suspect that the clothes are tight because of the aforementioned black and white cookies, if you want the truth.
HM: Heresy!!!!!!! You just watch your mouth! We do not speak ill of the black and white cookie! We revere the black and white cookie!!!
RM: Settle down. It was just an observation.
HM: I assume that this means you are going to have a problem with number eleven: Write An Anthem In Praise Of The Black And White Cookie.
RM: Not necessarily. Look, I think you've made a good start here. Let's go through this list item by item, do an extensive, in depth analysis of feasibility and see where we're at. Maybe we can do a spreadsheet of some sort. I'm sure we can cull this down to something we can reasonably accomplish in '08. I'll go put on a pot of coffee.
HM: Sweet! I'll go get the other 9 pages! This'll be fun!
It looks like it's going to be a long night. I hope that, whatever your plans might be for ringing in 2008, you have a heck of a good time. You probably won't be experiencing the same level of high merriment as HM and RM. But, not everyone is built for that, I suppose.
What? I'm fun. Look at me. This face just screams, "Fun!!!!!"
Happy New Year, Everyone!